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Justin Houston here once again, this time to review Bragging Rights, a PPV featuring a big 14-Man Elimination Match pitting a RAW team against one from SmackDown! to see which brand is superior. Last year, Big Show turned on RAW and helped SmackDown! come out on top. This year, Team RAW consists of CM Punk, Sheamus, John Morrison, R-Truth, Santino Marella, Ezekiel Jackson and it’s captain, The Miz. Team SmackDown! is captained by The Big Show, his partners being Edge, Rey Mysterio, Jack Swagger, Alberto Del Rio, Tyler Reks and Kofi Kingston. Also on tap: Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler in a Champion vs. Champion Match, Kane vs. The Undertaker in a Buried Alive Match and Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett in a WWE Title Match. Barrett has John Cena in his corner and, since Cena is unwittingly a part of Nexus, he must do as Barrett commands. If he doesn’t he’s fired. It’s all very dramatic.
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~ We are live with King, Cole, and “Cole’s buddy” Striker. The ring ropes are a blue/red hybrid…kind of cool. The show starts with Vickie Guerrero, so you know this isn’t going to go well. She introduces Dolph Ziggler to the crowd and no one cares. “Ride of the Valkyries” hits and we are ready for the first contest.
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1. US Champ vs. IC Champ: Daniel Bryan© vs. Dolph Ziggler©
No joke, I am really looking forward to this. Huge “Let’s Go, Bryan!” chant to start things off as the two men take things to the mat. Bryan locks in an early heel hook but Ziggler escapes to the floor. Ziggler comes back inside, almost gets caught in the LeBell Lock but once again escapes to the floor. He uses Vickie to dodge Bryan but he just goes to the apron and leaps past her, drilling Ziggler with a sick flying knee! Back insider, Dolph uses some cheep heel stuff to gain control, grounding Bryan. More chants for “American Dragon” as he wiggles free and gets a few pinfall attempts for two but Dolph comes back with Nakamura-esque flipping suplex! 1…2…Bryan kicks out. Dolph is back to work with a neck snap for another two. He hits is huge jumping elbow for two more. Bryan finally gets to his feet and hits a boot but he misses a running boot in the corner, so Ziggler covers. 1…2…Bryan kicks out. Dolph continues to assault Daniel’s back and neck to setup for his finishers, hitting a crazy fireman’s carry variant for yet another two. Bryan hits a chinbreaker, dodges a body splash and goes to work with stiff kicks from all angles. Running knee to the face! 1…2…Ziggler kicks out. Another nasty kick! Springboard missile dropkick! 1…2…Ziggler kicks out again! Dolph ducks a kick and drills him with a superkick! 1…2…Bryan kicks out! He’s calling for the Zig Zag…but he misses! Buzzsaw kick! 1…2…Ziggler gets the shoulder up just in time! Both men head to the top rope where Bryan wiggles out and crotches him on top! Super Back Suplex…but Zigs reverses in midair! 1…2…Bryan rolls through into a pin of his own! 1…2…Dolph kicks out! Both men collide and they are both down. They trade reversals and Ziggler nails a fameasser! 1…2…Bryan gets his foot on the ropes. Dolph with the Sleeper Hold locked in! Bryan can’t get free! He finally gets to the ropes to break the hold. Ziggler loses his cool and gets caught in the LeBell Lock! He’s got nowhere to go! HE TAPS! Daniel Bryan wins an excellent match. Dolph & Vickie lose their minds afterwards as the crowd chants “You Tapped Out”! This was even better than the Bryan/Miz match from a couple months ago. Trivia Question: What’s the last WWE match to get a “This Is Awesome” chant? Answer: This one.
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~ The Miz is backstage taking credit for the success of Daniel Bryan. Sheamus & CM Punk interrupt with some valid complaints. Santino just wants some damn Sun Chips. Miz tries to motivate Punk, but he just laughs it off. The Miz says that chaos is exactly what this team needs, and he ain’t sweating it.
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~ The WWE Tag Team champions, “Dashing” Cody Rhodes & Drew McIntyre, come out for a little bragging. They’re the champs, they’re awesome, blah-blah-blah. McIntyre says some extra stupid stuff because he sucks. RAW GM-tron 7000 interrupts, saying that they will be defend the tag titles against…Wade Barrett interrupts! He says he’s gonna be champion and he welcomes out both David Otunga and his tag partner….JOHN CENA! WUH?! Cena sprints to the ring, right past Barrett & Otunga.
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2. WWE Tag Team Titles: Cody Rhodes & Drew McIntyre© vs. John Cena & David Otunga
Otunga says that he’s gonna start as the crowd chants for Cena to start. Rhodes & McIntyre take control of Otunga early, double teaming him in their corner. They plant him with a double suplex but he recovers and tags in Cena, who takes it to Cody with a few suplexes, including a stalling vertical. 1…2…Cody kicks out. Otunga is furious that Cena isn’t listening, allowing Cody to blindside Cena. Hard lariat from McIntyre to Cena. 1…2…Cena kicks out. Cody taps into his brother’s moveset to drop Cena for another two. John fights back but gets drop with a Complete Shot from McIntyre. 1…2…Cena kicks out. Rhodes locks on a nice camel clutch variant but Cena drops him on his head to break the hold! Superman Series, half on Rhodes and half on McIntyre! Drew goes for Butterfly DDT but he gets dumped! Cross Rhodes…countered into the STF! Rhodes taps out! Cena & Otunga are the new champions! WOW. Otunga gets overzealous about winning, having done jack to actually win them, so Cena plants him with the Attitude Adjuster! He walks out with both belts, too. Commentary brilliantly says that Otunga’s been living off someone else’s success forever, so why stop now? Not a good match but the aftermath and excuse for Otunga’s response amused the hell out of me. Plus, the WWE clearly doesn’t care about the belts more than a storyline’s purpose, so why should I?
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~ Ted DiBiase is backstage with Maryse, as he explains that Goldust is weird, he doesn’t like him, he’s getting his stolen Million Dollar belt back and he’s gonna deport Goldust’s “fake girlfriend” Aksana. He then admits he has little-to-no talent and he retires forever.
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3. Grudge Match: Goldust w/ Aksana vs. Ted DiBiase w/ Maryse
Apparently, Goldust and Aksana will be getting officially married on NXT. Okay then. Goldust drops DiBiase with a butt-butt and sends him outside, where Goldust beats on him and sends him back in the ring. Goldust heads to the top but DiBiase sends him crashing back down. Ted hits a back elbow and a dropkick for two. Goldust fights back but eats a run-behind clothesline. 1…2…Goldust kicks out. Goldust gets a really nice chant but is dropped for another two. Goldust drops Ted with a back suplex ad both men are down. Goldust takes DiBiase down with a clothesline, a kneeling slap, an atomic drop and a bulldog! 1…2…DiBiase kicks out. Goldust charges but Ted ducks and Goldust goes crashes to the floor in violent fashion. He comes back with a guillotine and goes north but DiBiase catches him with a dropkick on the way down. Snap Powerslam from Goldust! 1…2…DiBiase kicks out. Ted goes for Dream Street but Goldust blocks! Sit-out spinebuster from DiBiase! 1…2…Goldust gets the shoulder up. The two men clunk noggins so Maryse attacks Aksana. This distracts Goldust, allowing DiBiase to hit a baby DDT. 1…2…3! DiBiase wins the match…and the belt I guess? Maryse grabs the belt but Aksana drops her and takes it back. Aksana distracts DiBiase, allowing Goldust to his the Final Cut post-match. The Golden Duo keep the belt. Honestly, this was pretty good. It wasn’t too long, the right guy won, the feud continues and I didn’t feel insulted. Could’ve been WAAAY worse.
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4. Unified Divas Title: Layla© w/ Michelle McCool vs. Natalya
Nope. Not gonna do it. Not now, not ever. I’m gonna watch football for a little bit and remember what it felt like when I had free time on the weekend. Layla retains the title after McCool interferes, costing Natty the coveted, precious championship.
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~ Josh Matthews is standing in the grave where Kane or The Undertaker will end up tonight. Seriously, it’s 2010 and we’re still “burying wrestlers alive”?! Prediction: it’s Paul Bearer that’s going for the dirt nap.
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5. World Heavyweight Title Buried Alive Match: Kane© w/ Paul Bearer vs. The Undertaker
This is apparently only the fifth Buried Alive Match ever. Hmmm…I smell a future gimmick pay-per-view! Taker attacks Kane during his entrance, sending him crashing into the steel ring steps. He beats him around ringside and takes the fight inside. The crowd chants that they want blood. You and me both, people. Kane takes control on the outside and they start fighting in the crowd. More brawling in front of some fans and steps with Target logos on them. Did they sponsor this event or something? I wasn’t paying attention. More brawling. Taker liters the ring with steel steps and I am much more interested now. Leg drop on the apron to Kane. Undertaker throws in the top of the announcer’s table and…they go back to brawling in the crowd?! Ugh. They make it back to the ring once again, and Kane drops Taker with chair shots to the back. He chokes Taker with the chair and returns to back-whacking. Kane calls for the chokeslam and he drops his brother with authority! A second chokeslam! Kane starts to drag The Undertaker to the gravesite and lifts him powerslam-style. Taker wiggles free and the two trade punches and “The Deadman” finally drops Kane with a right hand. Taker follows Kane up to the elevated grave and calls for the chokeslam but Kane throws dirt in his brother’s eyes and drops him with a boot. He tries to drag Taker into the pit but Undertaker sits up! Hell’s Gate is locked in! Kane taps but that ain’t how this works. Taker lets the hold go and rolls him into the grave! Now he has to get up and dump the dirt onto Kane. Taker grabs Bearer and goes to chokeslam him…but Nexus shows up! Barrett, Otunga, Slater and Gabriel attack The Phenom”! They dismantle The Undertaker and Kane gets out of the grave. Kane decks Taker with the urn, sending him into the pit! The Nexus tries to bury Taker themselves and Kane tells them to leave. Kane calls for his pyro and it goes off. It also lowers the front of the dump truck, burying The Undertaker. Kane wins via DEATH. This was just as bad as every other match they’ve had, probably worse to be honest. I find it hilarious that Nexus keeps spreading wider and wider but they keep losing guys, only ever adding John Cena due to a stipulation. They were neither needed nor welcome in this match. I hope this ends the feud for the time being, as Taker has yet to win a match and could probably use some time off to rest those old bones of his.
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~ Randy Orton is asked backstage if John Cena will cost him his title. Orton says Cena’s a conflicted man and he’ll make it simple by dropping him if he interferes.
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6. Bragging Rights 14-Man Elimination Match: Team RAW vs. Team SmackDown!
THE PPV’S CALLED BRAGGING RIGHTS! WHY WOULDN’T THIS BE THE MAIN EVENT?!?!?! This show has nosedived quickly, but I have high hopes for this match. Morrison & Reks start things off. Morrison drops Reks only to get a shoulderblock in return. Morrison dodges a slam and dropkicks Reks into the corner. He hits a chinbreaker, a leg lariat and tags out to Santino. They hit some nice double team offense and Santino calls for the Cobra Strike. Reks dodges and hits an Argentine DDT. 1…2…3! Santino is eliminated first. Ezekiel tags in and manhandles Reks, so he tags in Captain Show. Big Show beats the tar out of Jackson and tags in Mysterio, who hits Droppin’ Da Dime for two. Kofi is tagged but Ezekiel takes out both men. Sheamus is tagged in and he takes the fight to Kofi. Kingston dodges an attack and hits a crossbody for two following up with the Boom Drop! SOS to Sheamus! 1…2…Sheamus grabs the ropes. Kingston with punches, but Sheamus counters! High Cross! 1…2…3! Kingston is gone. Mysterio comes in and Sheamus runs him over. Punk gets the tag and a big chant from the apparently pro-Punk crowd. Snap Powerslam from Punk! 1…2…Mysterio kicks out. Sheamus is tagged back in and he continues the assault. Mysterio gains some steam but Del Rio blind tags in. Punk shoves Del Rio into Mysterio, knocking him down. Punk is dumped and Del Rio throws him back inside…and then he throws Mysterio, his own teammates, into a barricade. Mysterio is helped to the back. Big Show chews Alberto out for the move as he tags out to Swagger. Morrison gets the tag and takes it to Swagger! Flash Kick! 1…2…Swagger kicks out. Sunset flip counter to a spinebuster! 1…2…Swagger kicks out again. Powerslam from Swagger. 1…2…Morrison kicks out. Swagger catches a boot and tries to lock on the ankle lock but Morrison fight him off! Gamengiri! STARSHIP PAIN! 1…2…3! Swagger is eliminated. It’s now Reks versus Sheamus, and Sheamus levels him with the Brogue Kick! 1…2…3! Reks is gone and the Big Show enters. He dumps Sheamus and chases him. Sheamus attacks Hornswaggle and it infuriates Big Show. Sheamus and Show brawl outside and they get counted out! It’s now Edge & Del Rio against Truth, Ezekiel, Miz, Morrison and Punk. Edge spears R-Truth and he is eliminated. Morrison goes for Starship Pain and Edge moves! SPEAR! 1…2…3! Morrison is gone. He misses a Spear on Punk but it allows Del Rio to tag in. Punk backslides Del Rio! 1…2…3! Del Rio is out and he complains…Rey attacks from behind! He’s back! Edge hits an enzuigiri to Punk and goes to tag in but Miz finally tags in and stops Edge from get free. Ezekiel tags in and beats on Edge with slams and elbow drops. Team RAW takes turns beating down Edge, but he takes out Punk with an Electric Chair and tags Rey! Mysterio takes down Punk with a buzzsaw kick for two. Punk counters a crossbody for two of his own. Go 2 Sleep is countered and the two trade reversals to a stalemate. 619! Springboard Splash! 1…2…3! Punk is eliminated. Ezekiel takes down Mysterio and targets the injured shoulder. Rey fights back but gets leveled with a shoulder tackle. Mysterio hits a basement dropkick but Ezekiel escapes the 619. Mysterio hits a DDT, the 619 and a sloppy splash. Ezekiel kicks out at three but it’s three anyway. Mysterio drops Miz! 619 but Alex Riley takes the blow, allowing Miz to block a splash. He goes for the Skull Crushing Finale, but Rey dodges and tags in Edge! SPEAR! SPEAR! SPEAR! 1…2…3! Team SmackDown! wins for the second year in a row as Mysterio & Edge stand tall! Parts of this were really good, but they came furiously and were therefore quite brief overall. This match felt like it was about a day and half long, too. It certainly didn’t reach expectations and wishes, but it was still decent.
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7. WWE Title: Randy Orton© vs. Wade Barrett w/ John Cena
Barrett clarifies his position to Cena: if he loses tonight, Cena is fired. Orton takes over early after dodging a cheap shot. He is definitely keeping his eye on Cena tonight. Orton sends him hard into the turnbuckle and a “Fire Cena!” chant rings throughout the arena. Orton is tossed but Cena doesn’t lay a hand on him, much to the frustration of Barrett. Orton drops Barrett with a clothesline back inside and peppers him with flying knee drops. 1…2…Barrett kicks out. Barrett gets some chants, too. Wade chews out Cena for not taking advantage of a distracted referee, allowing Orton to attack from behind. Wade locks on a sleeper but Orton drops him with a back suplex. Outside, Barrett sends Orton crashing into the ring steps and slides him back in. 1…2…Orton kicks out. Straight punches from Barrett and a top rope elbow drop get a duo of twos for the leader of The Nexus. Barrett continues his assault on Orton and Cena creeps ever closer to the ring. Pumphandle Drop from Barrett. 1…2…Orton kicks out again. They take it outside once again, fight for a little bit and take it back inside. Randy fights out a headlock, dodges another slam and dropkicks Barrett to the apron. Hanging DDT attempt but Barrett blocks and shoves Orton into the ref, knocking him down. Cena is ordered to attack the downed Orton, he gets on the apron and Randy shoves Barrett into Cena. Wade is dropped with the Orton backbreaker and Nexus immerges! The beat on Orton but Cena makes the save! Wade chews out Cena. XXXXXX Wasteland is blocked! Viper Series! Hanging DDT! Orton is calling for the RKO but Cena is about to attack him. He attacks Barrett instead! ATTITUDE ADJUSTER! The ref calls for the bell and Barrett wins via DQ. Orton retains and hits an RKO on Cena. He RKO’s Barrett after posing with the belt. He RKO’s my brain for watching this vat of liquefied garbage. Whatever, I’m done with this show.
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Overall Thoughts
This PPV exhausted me. I can blame it on a number of things, mainly my best friend being back from Afghanistan. I should be doing shots with him right now, not in front of my computer watching lots of money used in really poor ways. These awesome opening Daniel Bryan matches are frustrating, as they give you hope of PPVs not sucking. Alas, he has been in the best match of every single PPV match he’s had since joining the WWE. Guys like Reks and Ezekiel had no business being in the Elimination Match, and parts of it really dragged. The main event, however, was a stupid, boring waste of my time and some people’s hard-earned dough. The crowd was good, but they were a snarky bunch. Overall, this PPV was a bore and a chore that I abhorred. Dr. Seuss up in this mutha. Respect.
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As always, I apologize for any typos or Freudian slips that made this either hard to read or uncomfortable to think about. I am a poor typer with an overactive mind. Sometimes, things just don’t come out right. Forgive me…or perish with unnecessary judgment congesting your very soul. The choice is yours.
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