This week: Beware if you’re A- remotely popular and B- expendable, because The Big Show is on the loose and he’s a monster again. And he’s not content just to call out wrestlers. So who can stop him? GSP? Shaq? Tebow? Cena? Oh yeah, yeah it’ll be Cena, nevermind. Plus, the return of Sin Cara, AJ going cray cray and a WWE 13 video game cover announcement to overshadow E3 (seriously, SmartGlass, what the hell is that, just give me some games).
RAW SUPERSHOW
– Big Show came out. He said making people smile was easy and he didn’t mind doing it, but it was all a business decision to make more money. But now he had an iron clad contract, he didn’t have to anymore. Crowd chanted for Cena. Show said he wasn’t an entertainer he was a giant. He claimed there was no-one in his league and buried NFL, NBA, UFC and WWE guys. Big Show showed footage of Brodus Clay, Kofi and Truth dancing, just minutes after he’d been humiliated two weeks ago. He called the fans shallow. Show then criticised Cena for goofing around with Laurinaitis that same night instead of sticking up for him. Amazing how they tied those two things people hated into this story as motivation so well. Show bragged about knocking Cena out twice in 24 hours and promised to beat Cena like Rock did, destroy him like Brock did and embarrass him like Laurinaitis did, all in one night.
– Alberto Del Rio d. Santino Marella in 0:50. Santino had a brief flurry and brought out the Cobra, but Del Rio cut him off and won with the cross armbreaker. Ricardo taunted Santino afterwards.
– Alex Riley spoke to Eve backstage. Big Show walked up and offered Show the chance to pick his opponent tonight. Riley tried to say he admired what Show did and Show told him to relax. He then threw Riley into the wall as a message to the locker room.
– WWE Tag Team Championships: Kofi Kingston and R-Truth (c) d. Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger (Truth pinned Swagger) in 3:53. Rematch from Over The Limit. The champions dictated early. Kofi was then isolated, but got the tag to Truth. Kofi took out Ziggler and Truth beat Swagger with the Little Jimmy. Ziggler walked out on Swagger frustrated with the loss.
– Backstage, Santino ran into Big Show. He threatened to face Santino and grabbed him by the jaw, until Brodus showed up. Brodus challenged Show to face him tonight and Big Show agreed.
– Laurinaitis drove out in his People Power scooter, with David Otunga and Eve by his side. Johnny bravely waved to the fans and announced Big Show versus Cena at No Way Out would be a cage match. Laurinaitis claimed he was the most popular WWE superstar in history. He said he would be on the cover of the new WWE 13 video game and unveiled a giant poster of the cover. Laurinaitis proclaimed it’d be bigger than Pacman. Punk interrupted. He announced that he was actually on the cover and a bigger poster was unveiled from the ceiling, of Punk’s genuine cover. Johnny wished him luck against Bryan, but Punk destroyed his poster anyway.
– Daniel Bryan d. CM Punk in 12:09. Things started out evenly. Bryan targetted Punk’s arm, but Punk hit Bryan with a springboard crossbody to the floor. AJ then came out, wearing a CM Punk shirt, to watch from ringside. Bryan regained control for a while despite this. Momentum swung towards the end before Bryan exposed the turnbuckle, with AJ distracting the referee trying to point it out. Punk ended up being dropped face first on the exposed turnbuckle, after being sidetracked by AJ and Bryan got the pin. Kane then attacked Bryan with a chair and Chokeslammed him on the chair. But AJ slid Punk a chair and Punk attacked Kane to fight him off.
– Christian d. The Miz in 4:15. Cody did commentary, which was good. Miz looked strong for a while, before Christian finally got going. Cody distracted Christian and Miz almost won with a roll up. But Christian countered the Skull Crushing Finale and won with the Killswitch and frog splash.
– Laurinaitis wasn’t happy with Otunga for tapping to the STF last week, when he was able to withstand it at Over The Limit twice. He still wanted his apology out of Sheamus, which Eve didn’t get. Otunga volunteered to face Sheamus. Laurinaitis asked if he could count on them. Teddy showed up with coffee and Eve was mad because it was cold.
– Miz was still in the ring, complaining about his lot in life. So Orton showed up and hit him with an RKO. Ziggler was watching backstage and told Vickie to get him out of tag teams, because he wanted to be where Orton was.
– Sheamus d. David Otunga in 2:49. Otunga actually held his own for a while. Sheamus still won with White Noise and a Brogue Kick though.
– Instead of facing Brodus in the main event Big Show came out cutting a promo. He said he was a fan of how much of a sellout Brodus was. He insulted Brodus for embarrassing himself and hit him with a giant Spear. Show beat Brodus up outside as Brodus tried in vain to fight back. Kofi and Truth ran out to try and make the save but Show took them out as well. He broke off part of the announce table and hit Brodus with it repeatedly. The crowd chanted for Cena again but there was no Cena. Show destroyed Truth and Kofi as well, before giving Brodus the KO punch.
NXT
– Curt Hawkins and Tyler Reks d. The Usos (Reks pinned Jimmy) in 10:08. Hawkins and Reks were both wearing People Power shirts. Usos were in control early and Jey thought about the superfly splash but Reks pulled Hawkins to safety. So Jey dove outside on Reks, followed by Jimmy onto Hawkins, Mascara Dorada style. Hawkins and Reks briefly isolated Jey before Jimmy came in strong. In the end Hawkins and Reks hit a double team powerslam/neckbreaker with the referee unsighted.
– Kaitlyn d. Tamina Snuka by submission in 5:22. Maxine did commentary. Kaitlyn won with her full nelson applied with the legs
– Derrick Bateman, Justin Gabriel and Percy Watson d. Johnny Curtis, Michael McGillicutty and JTG (Gabriel pinned JTG) in 11:24. Neither team could get an advantage early, before Team Bateman cleared the ring. Bateman was eventually cut off. Percy got the tag and ran wild, until JTG pulled the rope down on him. But Percy soon tagged Gabriel in. Things broke down and Bateman hit a dive. Gabriel then hit JTG with a flying tornado DDT for the victory.
SUPERSTARS
– Beth Phoenix d. Alicia Fox in 4:51. Beth was still mad about Over The Limit. She took her frustrations out on Alicia but started yelling for Layla to come out, giving Alicia a brief reprieve. Alicia got a couple of near falls and went for the flip legdrop, but Beth moved and won with the Glam Slam.
– Tensai d. Alex Riley in 3:36. The “Lord” in Lord Tensai has been dropped, as the Tensai teething stage continues. Tensai attacked immediately and squashed Riley, in more energetic fashion than their first match. He won with the senton. They’re clearly working to improve the character and how he wrestles, which is an encouraging sign. Tensai mistreated Sakamoto before and after the match as well.
– Jinder Mahal d. Yoshi Tatsu by submission in 3:30. Jinder survived Yoshi’s kicks and made Yoshi submit to the 80s camel clutch.
– Christian d. Drew McIntyre in 11:53. Tentative to start, with Drew on top. Christian started to build momentum but was pushed over the ropes taking a bad landing on the apron and Drew took control, working the ribs. Christian fought back strongly and avoided being thrown to the floor again. Both got near falls towards the end, with Drew almost winning with an inverted Alabama Slam and Christian with a flying DDT. In the end Drew hit the post and Christian hit the Killswitch and frog splash combo. Really good match, this was like the Christian of 2009, having great matches with undercard guys
SMACKDOWN
– Sheamus came out and explained why he knocked over Del Rio last week. He said his money couldn’t buy him the World Championship. Otunga interrupted. He ordered Sheamus to apologise for bumping Laurinaitis. Sheamus threatened to do something unhygienic with Otunga’s coffee cup, before Del Rio showed up. He insulted Sheamus for being a hooligan and said Sheamus would be sorry when he beat him for the World Title. Otunga put Sheamus in a match, with an opponent of Del Rio’s choosing. Sheamus responded by giving Otunga the Brogue Kick, sending Alberto running for safety.
– Sin Cara d. Heath Slater in 2:25. Sin Cara has new red and white ring gear. And the trampoline has gone. The lighting is still the same though, so we’ll see how long that lasts. Sin Cara looked pretty good after his layoff and won with La Mistica.
– Damien Sandow d. Ezekiel Jackson in 1:37. Sandow cut a promo at the start of the match, calling Zeke an ignoramus and refusing to compete. However, Zeke refused to let him leave. Sandow escaped the torture rack though and beat Zeke quick with his cross arm neckbreaker. Sandow celebrated with a cartwheel again.
– Backstage, Del Rio was thinking who to pick to face Sheamus. Ziggler wanted the match, looking for his opportunity. Del Rio appreciated Ziggler’s passion and agreed to it.
– Two On One Handicap Match: Ryback d. Ryan Shelton and Chris Lyons in 2:02. The jobbers cut a stuttering promo. Booker claimed these two were huge on the independent circuit. Ryback destroyed them and hit his finisher on both at the same time.
– Sheamus d. Dolph Ziggler in 10:02. Ziggler interrupted Vickie’s usual screeching intro routine, all business. Sheamus overpowered Ziggler early on and was completely on top, until Ziggler played cat and mouse and dropkicked Sheamus off the apron into the announce table. Eventually Sheamus fought back, but Ziggler hit a top rope x-factor for two. Sheamus then countered the Zig Zag and hit White Noise. Swagger ran out to try and prevent a Brogue Kick, but it didn’t work and Sheamus hit it for the pin. This was good stuff.
– Striker interviewed Punk. Punk knew Laurinaitis wanted the belt off of him because he couldn’t stand him. He said he was the best in the world and would beat Kane tonight.
– Santino Marella and Zack Ryder d. Titus O’Neil and Darren Young (Santino pinned Young) in 1:16. Titus and Darren did an inset interview, calling themselves the Primetime Players. They dominated Santino, but Santino rolled Young up out of nowhere and pinned him, without Zack even tagging in. As they celebrated though, Big Show showed up and completely destroyed Santino and Zack.
– AJ was backstage dressed up in CM Punk merchandise again. Bryan mocked her, saying Punk thought she was a nutjob like everybody else. Bryan said he used to care about her, which is more than Punk.
– Cody Rhodes d. Tyson Kidd in 1:21. Christian joined commentary. Tyson put in a decent showing while it lasted and almost had Cody in the Sharpshooter. But Cody escaped and finished Kidd off with Cross Rhodes.
– WWE Championship: CM Punk (c) and Kane went to a double DQ in 11:54. Punk tried to stick and move to start and gave Kane a Macho Man double axehandle to the floor. He went after Kane’s arm and had success doing so for a while. But Kane knocked Punk off the turnbuckles to turn things around. At this point AJ came out looking concerned. Punk was able to counter a Chokeslam with a DDT to spark a comeback. Both earned close counts and Punk failed to hit the GTS, before Bryan ran out. Punk dove onto Bryan and hit the flying elbow on Kane for another close fall which everyone bought. Kane then set up a Chokeslam but Bryan took out both men with a missile dropkick to cause the match to be thrown out. Bryan continued to attack Punk afterwards. Punk went for a GTS on him but Kane broke it up and Chokeslammed both Bryan and Punk at the same time. Laurinaitis then wheeled his way out to announce a triple threat at No Way Out. I’m not a big Kane fan or anything, but I’m fine with that because this feud has worked out well so far.