This week: Raw celebrates 999 episodes, which is a more aesthetic milestone than 1000, if you ask me. Everybody under the sun will be on episode 1000, so it’s also a milestone most of the current roster will actually be able to participate in. So, a Happy Raw #999 to the likes of JTG and Jack Swagger! Plus, AJ says YES YES YES to Daniel Bryan’s proposal, Rey Mysterio returns, John Cena does the honourable thing, Rikishi, Road Warrior Animal and the NXT Season 5 Dream Team.
RAW SUPERSHOW
– CM Punk came out. He talked about his promo from a year ago, that started a revolution and how he’d proven he was the best since then. He said somebody like him never would have been on the first Raw, let alone 8 months into a WWE Title reign. Big Show interrupted. He claimed he was inches from winning the Money In The Bank match. Lots of “Big Show sucks” chants. Big Show said he’d have cashed in right now, had he won. Punk pointed out that he destroyed everybody and then lost like always. That’s why he had respect and Big Show didn’t. Show said if Punk left tommorrow, the fans would move on within a week, just like they did with him. He said they both knew the company revolved around only one man. Punk reminded Show that he was champion and Show was a bitter underachiever. Big Show pointed out that after he knocked Punk out in their match, he could lose the title to Cena.
– WWE Tag Team Championships: Kofi Kingston and R-Truth (c) d. The Primetime Players (Truth pinned Titus) in 4:30. Kofi and Truth looked strong at the start and Kofi hit a dive off of Truth’s back onto both challengers. The PTP were able to isolate Kofi for a bit, before he escaped to tag Truth. AW got on the apron, which didn’t work out, as Kofi hit Trouble In Paradise from the apron, setting up the Little Jimmy from Truth.
– Bryan ran into AJ backstage. He apologised for everything he’d said since Wrestlemania and was about to admit something, until Eve showed up. She was still mad at Bryan for walking out on her last week and said Bryan and AJ would be facing her and a partner this week. She said payback was exactly what AJ is. Bryan said he’d tell AJ the rest after they won their match.
– Alberto Del Rio d. Zack Ryder by submission in 1:31. Del Rio attacked Zack’s arm in a rage and beat him with the cross armbreaker. He put the hold on again after the match, but Rey Mysterio returned. Del Rio jumped him sliding in, but Rey was able to deliver a 619 and chase Alberto off.
– Heath Slater talked his greatest Raw moment, which was him arriving on Raw. He then attempted to put a positive spin on his recent losses, claiming Cyndi Lauper “presented” him with a gold record and that DDP was so impressed, he “taught him” the Diamond Cutter.
– Rikishi d. Heath Slater in 1:11. Rikishi didn’t look that much different than when he last appeared. Heath got the stinkface, the Samoan spike and a banzai drop to add to his great moments list. The Usos then came out to dance with their father.
– Daniel Bryan and AJ d. The Miz and Eve Torres (AJ pinned Eve) in 2:53. AJ was able to hit the shining wizard, but Miz took the referee, so AJ dropkicked him off the apron. Eve ended up catching AJ in a small package, but Bryan reversed it with the referee distracted with Miz again, to steal the win. Bryan then told AJ he loved her and asked AJ to marry him. Crowd weren’t buying it and wanted her to say no, but he played it genuine. I’m hoping he’s not, because Bryan’s so great as a heel. AJ accepted and they chanted YES to celebrate. And they announced it’d be next week.
– Jack Swagger was supposed to face Ryback. But he jumped Ryback before the bell. Swagger hit the gutwrench powerbomb and tried to apply the ankle lock. Ryback kept fighting him off and gave Swagger some repeated powerbombs, until Swagger bailed.
– Vickie brought Ziggler out. Ziggler said every Money In The Bank contract had been cashed in successfully, which meant he was the next World Champion. And he would be the greatest champion in WWE history. Better than Bret Hart, better than Stone Cold, better than The Rock. Chris Jericho interrupted them. But Ziggler didn’t want to let him speak. Dolph pointed out Jericho had never won Money In The Bank and asked when the last time he won anything important was. He kept goading Jericho and said he’d lost his touch. Eventually Jericho had heard enough and laid him out with a Codebreaker.
– They did a poll to decide who’d defend their title next week and Christian won.
– Brodus Clay d. JTG in 2:31. Having Brodus on the same show as Rikishi, without interacting, didn’t do him any favours. JTG went after Brodus’s bad knee. But Brodus won with the big splash.
– CM Punk d. Big Show by DQ in 9:18. Big Show used his size to dominate for large portions. Punk was able to run Show into the ring post, but Show regained control quickly. Eventually Punk was able to duck the knock out punch and mount a proper comeback. Punk hit the flying elbow but Big Show kicked out. Big Show then hit a Chokeslam, but Punk got his foot on the ropes. So Big Show attacked in the corner and shoved the referee for the DQ. Cena ran out as Big Show set up the knock out punch. Show left him to, seemingly, cash in the briefcase. He tried to goad Cena into cashing in. But Cena refused and instead announced he was giving Punk one week to prepare and he was cashing in on the 1000th episode. Cena then hit Big Show with the briefcase.
NXT
– Tamina Snuka d. Kaitlyn in 5:21. Kaitlyn seemed a bit more heelish here, trying to hide behind the referee at one point. Tamina escaped a Kaitlyn submission with a samoan drop and followed up with the superfly splash.
– Big E. Langston got a hype video. The jist of it was, he’s really strong.
– Jinder Mahal d. Percy Watson by submission in 4:03. After a brief start, Jinder took over on Percy. Regal claimed Cena had taken Percy under his wing recently. Percy was able to get back into things briefly but Jinder cut him off and won with the camel clutch.
– Leo Kruger d. Richie Steamboat in 4:30. Leo took great care over his sash, which Regal claimed was given to him by Nelson Mandela for services to South Africa. Kruger got the advantage, using a schoolboy into the turnbuckles. Crowd were into Richie and he fought back. Kruger forced Richie to chase him around the ring and then countered a crossbody, with his feet on the ropes for leverage, to steal the pin. I already prefer Kruger to Jinder and they’re basically doing the same gimmick just with different nationalities.
– Raquel Diaz d. Paige in 1:42. Diaz is Shaul Guerrero, which they did make brief mention of at the end. She’s doing a Lady Gaga/Nicky Minaj version of the Beautiful People/Laycool “cleansing ugliness” gimmick. Raquel won with a Gory Bomb.
– Alex Riley ran into Aksana backstage, who started flirting with him. Cesaro showed up and Aksana claimed Riley was hitting on him. Cesaro ended up challenging him to a match next week.
– Justin Gabriel d. Heath Slater in 8:53. Regal and Saxton, with JR for the main events, seems to be the permanent commentary setup now. Things started evenly. Slater then blocked a springboard attempt and Gabriel took a pretty terrifying fall to the arena floor. That looked no fun. Slater took advantage, going after the neck. Gabriel hung in and survived some big moves late on from Slater. And after fighting Slater off, Gabriel used a moonsault into a reverse DDT to get the pin.
SUPERSTARS
– Santino Marella d. Jinder Mahal in 4:47. Santino messed around a bit at the start, taking Jinder off his game. Jinder laid him out with a punch and took over, but Santino made a Santino style comeback and won with the Cobra.
– Cody Rhodes d. Alex Riley in 8:46. Things seemed to be going Riley’s way, until Cody countered a suplex to the floor and kicked Riley’s knee out. Fans got behind Riley and he fought back. Cody caught Riley coming off the top rope with a dropkick and after escaping the TKO got the win with Cross Rhodes.
– The Usos d. Johnny Curtis and Derrick Bateman (Jimmy pinned Curtis) in 4:25. I guess with Maxine gone, there’s nothing left for Bateman and Curtis to fight over. Curtis tried to prove he could body pop as well as The Usos, unsuccessfully. Bateman hit a dropkick off the apron to gain control, but miscommunication kept costing them and allowed Jimmy to run wild. Jimmy finished Curtis off with the superfly splash. Usos got a good reaction too.
– Sin Cara d. Drew McIntyre in 7:23. Drew jumped Sin Cara on the bell. Sin Cara faked him out on a dive, but got caught trying a hurricanrana off the apron and McIntyre swung him into the barrier. Eventually Sin Cara started to get going. Drew turned a flying crossbody into a tilt a whirl backbreaker. But Sin Cara ducked a flying clothesline and won with a twisting DDT.
SMACKDOWN
– The show was in San Diego and started with Rey coming out. Rey talked about being back and on Raw, he couldn’t wait to get to Del Rio. Del Rio promptly came out and said Rey made a mistake coming back and picking a fight with him. He ordered Rey to leave, so he could talk about Sheamus. Rey declined. Del Rio threatened to take him out for good, but Ziggler interrupted. He took offense to Alberto saying he was the next World Champion and said he would be champion right now if not for Del Rio. Del Rio said he wasn’t going to do Dolph’s dirty work. Rey suggested they fight if they had a problem. They both rounded on Rey, but Sheamus evened the sides. Del Rio snuck out, leaving Ziggler, who managed to avoid a 619. This set up a tag match later.
– The Primetime Players, Hunico and Camacho d. Kofi Kingston, R-Truth, Primo and Epico (Young pinned Primo) in 6:49. Epico and Hunico started, which was fun. The faces cleared the ring and focused on Camacho. Hunico prevented Trouble In Paradise and Kofi was cut off. He got the tag to Primo and things broke down into a brawl. AW’s distraction allowed Titus to knock Primo off the ropes, into a gutbuster from Young, who got the pin.
– After the match, Big Show came out. The Primetime Players hid and took Kofi out on the floor, while Big Show ran through everybody else. Truth and Primo both got knocked out and Camacho and Hunico took a double Chokeslam.
– Damien Sandow d. Zack Ryder in 1:29. Sandow put a stop to Zack’s entrance and told everyone they were embarrassing themselves by supporting Ryder. Zack jumped him, but Sandow soon ran through Ryder with the cross arm neckbreaker.
– Christian hosted the Peep Show, with Daniel Bryan and AJ as his guests. Bryan and AJ showed a montage of them wedding planning, which was pretty great. He put a stuffed toy in an ankle lock for crying out loud. Christian asked if they were sure they were doing the right thing. They both said YES. A lot. Christian asked the crowd how they felt. Lots of NOs. AJ slapped Christian and they tried to leave, but Christian revealed Bryan had a match tonight, against AJ’s psycho ex boyfriend.
– Kane d. Daniel Bryan by DQ in 5:14. Bryan had a pretty rough time of it. He managed to take out Kane’s knee and avoid a Chokeslam, but got hit coming off the top rope with an uppercut. Bryan caught Kane coming off the top and tried to apply the YES Lock but Kane escaped. AJ almost got taken out as they fought around the ring. And she leapt on Kane’s back as he teased a Chokeslam, causing the DQ. Kane managed to Chokeslam Bryan with AJ on his back regardless. AJ then teased kissing Kane, which allowed her to escape. Bryan and AJ made out on the stage with Kane looking on confused.
– Road Warrior Animal d. Heath Slater in 0:47. Slater said all the beatings he took were on Raw but this was Smackdown, his luck was going to change. It didn’t. Animal beat him after a powerslam and an elbow drop.
– Vickie and Ricardo argued backstage. Ricardo claimed she was jealous of Del Rio. Vickie ended up screaming at Ricardo until he left.
– Sheamus and Rey Mysterio d. Alberto Del Rio and Dolph Ziggler by DQ in 9:46. Vickie interrupted Ricardo in mid introduction to introduce Dolph. Del Rio tagged out rather than face Sheamus legally. Ziggler and Del Rio eventually isolated Rey, after Del Rio cut off a 619 with a kick from the apron. After a couple of close attempts Rey finally tagged Sheamus. Sheamus escaped the cross armbreaker and hit White Noise, but Ricardo grabbed Sheamus to prevent a Brogue Kick. Alberto put Sheamus in the cross armbreaker until referees dragged him off. Ziggler then tried to cash in his contract, but Rey prevented it, hit a 619 and Sheamus followed up with a Brogue Kick.