This Week In WWE TV – January 28-February 3, 2013

This week: If whatever happened in Vegas really did stay in Vegas, we all could have saved ourselves a lot of time and trouble. But, we’d have missed out on wrestling’s three brightest stars, Punk, Heyman and Lesnar, working their magic if it did. You win some, you lose some. Plus, Jericho returns, Swagger returns, Bo Dallas and his ruthless aggression debuts, Tensai in lingerie was a thing and is Brad Maddox okay?

RAW ROULETTE

– Since they were in Vegas it was Raw Roulette. Vickie had three wheels for the show and spun guest referee for Orton and Cesaro.

– Punk and Heyman came out, mad at no longer being WWE Champion. He said tonight was day 435, because he didn’t lose. He ranted and raved at the crowd, The Rock, Vince and called it the Phoenix Screwjob. Vince interrupted saying he had proof Punk and Heyman were involved with The Shield, so he’d be giving Heyman a ‘performance review’ later.

– Randy Orton d. Antonio Cesaro in 9:13, with The Miz as referee. Miz stayed out of trouble for most of the match. Cesaro and Miz eventually got into it though and it lead to Orton hitting the RKO for the victory. Miz then gave Cesaro a Skull Crushing Finale after the match as well.

– Backstage Vickie spun a Make Me Laugh challenge and the camera panned out to reveal Ryback. The challenge was Ryback against The Prime Time Players, with Striker hosting. This all resulted in Ryback laying out Titus. Striker found this funny and awarded Ryback the win, but Ryback gave him Shell Shocked as well.

– Player’s Choice: Bo Dallas d. Wade Barrett in 2:13. Barrett had the choice and picked Bo, since he eliminated Wade from the Royal Rumble. It ended up being a mistake as Bo countered the Bull Hammer with a belly to belly for the upset.

– John Cena d. Cody Rhodes in 2:58. Cody spun one of the wheels to determine his opponent. Cena made quick work of Cody with the AA, despite Cody’s attempts to leave. Afterwards Cena discussed his choice for Wrestlemania and picked the WWE Title to challenge for, whether it was Rock or Punk. The Shield came out and attacked Cena. Sheamus tried to make the save but got beaten down. The same happened to Ryback, before Cena was given the triple powerbomb.

– Backstage Vickie spun the wheel for a Lingerie Pillow Fight. Problem was, it was for a match between Tensai and Brodus. Vickie had Brodus spin the challenge wheel instead and it came up as a Dance Off. Brodus promised to tell Tensai, who had stormed off, about the change. He didn’t. Tensai came out in a robe and reluctantly revealed he was in lingerie. Needless to say, he wasn’t happy when he heard it was a dance off. But, Tensai actually got into it and danced. They cut backstage to Ron Simmons who said Damn, as he’s known to do.

– Alberto spun the wheel for his match with Big Show and it came up as a body slam challenge. Show attacked Alberto before the match though. He KOed Del Rio and tied him to the ropes with duct tape like Alberto did to him at Royal Rumble. Show then made Del Rio watch as he beat the hell out of Ricardo, before giving him the KO punch. He then gave Alberto another KO punch while he was tied up.

– Las Vegas Showgirl Lumberjill Match: Kaitlyn and Tamina Snuka went to a no contest. Everybody jumped in and started brawling at some point, for some reason. This was a shambles.

– The Rock came out to celebrate his WWE Championship win. He thanked everyone and talked about how much the people meant. Punk interrupted and ran down Rock for having the title handed to him, saying Rock should hand it back to him because he didn’t earn it. Rock dared him to come to the ring and Punk teased it, but backed off. He ‘granted’ Rock a rematch against him and offered to face Rock on any of the upcoming house shows if they fit Rock’s schedule. Or, if not, Elimination Chamber. Rock accepted.

– Tables Match: Sheamus d. Damien Sandow in 7:20. Sheamus was still nursing his shoulder from the Shield’s attack earlier and Sandow targeted it. Sheamus fought back though and gave Sandow a White Noise through a table propped up in the corner to win the match.

– Zack and Khali were brought out for a Karaoke challenge. Khali ‘sung’ Shawn Michaels’ theme song. There were subtitles provided but Khali decided he didn’t need them. 3MB interrupted and insulted Khali’s singing, so Khali gave Drew the big chop. Ryder hit a Ruff Ryder to Slater and Hornswoggle hit a Tadpole Splash.

– Having returned at the Royal Rumble, Chris Jericho came out. He was quickly interrupted by Ziggler, Big E and AJ. Ziggler reminded him that Jericho lost a career match to him, thanks to AJ, so he shouldn’t be there. Vickie appeared on the big screen and announced she’d hired Jericho back. She spun the wheel and it came up as Strange Bedfellows, so Vickie told Jericho and Ziggler they’d be teaming together.

– Strange Bedfellows Match: Team Hell No! d. Chris Jericho and Dolph Ziggler (Kane pinned Ziggler) in 2:38. Kane and Bryan ended up arguing and got in a shoving match. But Jericho made it seem like Ziggler slapped Kane from behind and Kane responded with a Chokeslam to Ziggler for the pin.

– They announced Trish Stratus for the Hall Of Fame.

– Heyman’s performance review ended the show. Vince shook Heyman’s hand and used some hand sanitizer before continuing. Heyman claimed The Shield and Maddox had nothing to do with him. He admitted promoters lied every day because that’s what promoters do, but he wasn’t lying now and swore on it. Vince toyed with him for a while, before showing a video of The Shield attacking Maddox a couple of weeks ago, during which Heyman basically implicated himself on every count. Heyman tried to claim it wasn’t him, he had an easy accent to impersonate. Before Vince could fire him though, Lesnar’s music hit. Lesnar got in Vince’s face and despite Heyman’s pleas, Lesnar gave Vince an F5. Heyman freaked out and left with Lesnar. Heyman was amazing here.

MAIN EVENT

– MizTV started the show, with Ryback as guest. Ryback said Cesaro wouldn’t be able to run from him this week. Cesaro came out claiming they were conspiring against him.

– Ryback d. Antonio Cesaro by count out in 9:06. Rematch from last week. This week Ryback dominated until going shoulder first into the post. Cesaro gained control briefly before Ryback made a comeback, forcing Cesaro to try and escape. He managed to escape through the crowd, but not before booting Miz in the face.

– Backstage The Prime Time Players made fun of Tensai. Tensai ran into Brodus and told him what happened on Raw was pretty funny, but Tensai didn’t seem to agree.

– Tensai d. Titus O’Neil in 11:08. Young got involved, so Brodus came down to be in Tensai’s corner. Brodus got the crowd behind Tensai and he responded by getting the win with a senton. After the match, Brodus invited Tensai to dance with him.

NXT

– NXT Tag Team Championship Tournament First Round: Kassius Ohno and Leo Kruger d. Alex Riley and Derrick Bateman (Ohno submitted Riley) in 10:55. After a good start from Riley and Bateman, Bateman had his knee worked over. Riley made a comeback but a distraction from Kruger allowed Ohno to tap him out with a modified cravat. Afterwards, Corey Graves ran in and put Riley in the 13th Step.

– Mason Ryan d. Sakamoto in 2:17. Easy win for Mason with a jackhammer. Ryan looked decent. He still has lovely hair.

– Paige d. Aksana by submission in 3:01. Aksana actually controlled things, until Paige got her in a cloverleaf. She bumped into the ring announcer after the match, who attacked her. Okay then.

– Renee Young interviewed Sasha Banks. Sasha was happy about getting her first win the previous week. Someone interrupted and delivered her a note from a ‘secret admirer’.

– NXT Tag Team Championship Tournament First Round: Bo Dallas and Michael McGillicutty d. Primo and Epico (Bo pinned Primo) in 10:25. Bo and McGillicutty were in control at the start. McGillicutty was finally cut off, before Bo fought back. As things broke down Primo tried to steal a pin holding the tights. Bo survived though and caught Primo with a belly to belly out of nowhere.

SUPERSTARS

– The Usos d. Primo and Epico (Jimmy pinned Epico) in 8:11. When Jey started to run wild, Rosa tried a distraction. Jey blocked a backstabber though and brought in Jimmy to win with the superfly splash.

– Kofi Kingston d. Michael McGillicutty in 3:53. Rematch from two weeks ago. Result was the same, Kofi winning with Trouble In Paradise on the second attempt.

SMACKDOWN

– They showed Del Rio in the parking lot, waiting for Big Show. Booker was in the ring with Khali, Orton, Bryan, Kane, Sheamus and Ziggler who he put in the Elimination Chamber to face the World Heavyweight Champion at Wrestlemania. He was interrupted by, of all people, Jack Swagger, who pointed out he was a former World Champion too. Swagger wanted to be in the Chamber and Booker told him they all hard to earn it. Ziggler said he had his briefcase, so he was out. Booker put everybody in matches.

– Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara d. Team Hell No! (Rey pinned Bryan) in 8:02. After a fairly even match Sin Cara broke up a NO Lock on Rey and hit a dive on Kane. Rey then pinned Bryan after a 619 and a splash off the top. Kane and Bryan blamed each other for the loss.

– Striker tried to inform Alberto he had a match later. Alberto told him to leave him alone.

– Great Khali d. Jinder Mahal in 1:54. A distracton by Drew helped Jinder to get Khali down briefly, but Khali took Drew out and won with the Punjabi Plunge while Slater was distracted by Hornswoggle.

– Sandow and Cody showed up in Booker’s office. They announced they’d made the difficult decision to dissolve Team Rhodes Scholars, but would remain best friends. They hugged. Booker put Sandow against Sheamus since he was a singles competitor again.

– Sheamus and Damien Sandow went to a no contest when The Shield interfered. Sheamus had the match well in hand when The Shield appeared in the crowd. They beat down Sheamus and laid him out with the triple powerbomb.

– Randy Orton d. Wade Barrett in 4:08. Barrett was still in a bad mood from Monday. He tried to use Bull Hammer outside but hit the ring post, which lead to Orton winning with the RKO.

– Striker interviewed Wade backstage. Wade noticed Bo Dallas stood nearby and jumped him from behind.

– Jack Swagger d. Kofi Kingston by submission in 7:04. No real change in Swagger, hair aside. Kofi built up momentum late on and went for Trouble In Paradise, but Swagger countered. He went for it again on the floor but Swagger moved and Kofi kicked the edge of the announce table. Swagger took advantage with the ankle lock for the win.

– Security showed up to deal with Del Rio, but he warned them off. Big Show arrived in his bus and Del Rio tried to attack him with a pipe when he got out. Show tried to steal a car to get away but Del Rio stopped him. Show finally managed to grab another car and speed off.

– Alberto Del Rio d. Dolph Ziggler by submission in 10:02. Alberto told Ricardo, in a neckbrace, to stay backstage. He started hot until posting his shoulder. AJ distracted the referee allowing Big E to get involved. The referee threw Big E out moments later though. The match became back and forth from that point, with both earning near falls, before Del Rio finally caught Ziggler in the cross armbreaker. Alberto is really starting to impress as a face.

– As Alberto celebrated, Big Show showed up on the big screen with Ricardo. He warned Alberto never to attack him again. Show teased them for a bit before KOing Ricardo. Alberto ran to go check on him.