This week: It’s Wrestlemania come early, as CM Punk and John Cena fight for the number one contendership and produce a memorable Raw main event, HHH returns and bloodies up Brock in a heated brawl and Swagger and Del Rio have a serious political debate. One of these things is not like the other. Plus, blindfolds, bad dancing and the not quite debut of Fandango.
RAW
– Vince came out at the start of the show on crutches and called out “the ultimate fighter”, Paul Heyman for their fight. Heyman used the old one legged man in an ass kicking contest line and said he wasn’t a “puss”, he was a man. He took Vince down by surprise and hit him in the hip with a crutch. Vince caught the crutch and struck Heyman back, before Lesnar came out. He stalked Vince, but HHH’s music hit. HHH and Lesnar then fought around ringside, with Lesnar getting sent into the ring post and having his head split wide open. Lesnar tried to use a chair but HHH hit a spinebuster, then used the chair on Brock who retreated. They shied away from showing the blood straight on, but it didn’t really make a difference.
– Ryback d. Dolph Ziggler in 7:34. Ryback overpowered Ziggler in the early stages, until Big E laid him out on the outside. Ziggler wasn’t able to finish Ryback though and after a clothesline to Big E, Ryback won with Shell Shocked.
– Punk came out and claimed tonight wasn’t about a match, about Cena, about Rock or about Wrestlemania, it was about him. He bragged about beating Cena and pinning Rock twice. He said he belonged at Wrestlemania and called himself a legend, immortal and finally, god.
– They announced Donald Trump in the Hall Of Fame.
– Mark Henry d. Great Khali in 1:24. Henry won with the World’s Strongest Slam.
– Miz hosted MizTV, with Del Rio and Ricardo and Swagger and Colter all as his guests. They had a serious political debate about illegal immigrants, with Del Rio standing up for America. It was long and met with not much crowd reaction. In the end Del Rio removed his jacket ready to fight, but Swagger and Colter left. This feud is doing less than nothing for me and after the Big Show feud, I don’t think it’s doing much for Del Rio either. During the break, Swagger jumped Miz from behind as he was leaving.
– Randy Orton d. Antonio Cesaro in 3:03. Orton caught Cesaro in mid air with an RKO coming off the middle rope, which was a cool finish to a short match at least.
– Backstage, Bryan wanted to get along with Kane. He claimed he could beat the Primetime Players by himself, blindfolded. Kane claimed he could beat them with one arm tied behind his back. Brickie of course then appeared and added those stipulations to their match.
– Sheamus came out in a suit to give his ‘Oscar Snubs’. After riffing on the Oscars for a while, Sheamus claimed he was mad at Hollywood for overlooking one of the greatest actors of the 21st century, Wade Barrett. He joked about Barrett role in the movie being so small. Wade interrupted and called him jealous, because he wasn’t a major movie star like him. He tried a cheapshot and Sheamus tried a Brogue Kick, but Wade escaped.
– R-Truth d. Cody Rhodes in 2:23. Sandow did commentary. Truth hit the Little Jimmy out of nowhere for the pin. Sandow then tried to attack but Truth ran him off.
– Another Swagger and Colter video aired.
– Team Hell No! d. The Primetime Players (Kane pinned Young) in 3:33. So Bryan was blindfolded and Kane had an arm tied behind his back. Bryan almost put the referee in the NO Lock by mistake. The Primetime Players used whistles to further confuse Bryan. Bryan accidentally gave Kane a forearm at one point and tripped getting in the ring. But he was able to tag Kane, who made a one armed comeback and pinned Young with the chokeslam.
– The Shield came to the ring. Ambrose said things would get worse before they got better for everyone in WWE. Rollins talked up their three big victories and asked if there was anyone else who wanted to face them. Sheamus came out and dared them to come fight him. Ambrose and Reigns did, which allowed Orton to sneak into the ring and give Rollins an RKO before escaping through the crowd.
– Jack Swagger d. The Miz by submission in 7:12. Miz started quick after the attack earlier, until he was given a belly to belly suplex on the floor. Del Rio was shown watching backstage. Miz tried to fight back, but got his leg caught in the ropes which lead to Swagger winning with the Patriot Lock.
– Josh interviewed Cena. Cena said his and Punk’s history and accomplishments didn’t matter tonight, the better man would go to Wrestlemania, no excuses. He said he was serving humble pie and hoped his critics were hungry.
– They showed brief footage, via Tout, of The Undertaker returning at a house show. So it looks like Undertaker will be back for Wrestlemania, although they left that part vague.
– #1 Contendership: John Cena d. CM Punk in 19:43. Crowd were split on Cena. Things started out evenly. Punk got the upper hand, avoiding a shoulder block and wiping Cena out with a dive. Cena tried to make his big comeback a couple more times and each time Punk came up with a different counter. They exchanged submissions, before getting into a strike exchange. Both countered each other’s finishers before Cena delivered a sit out powerbomb for two. Cena got two with his flying legdrop off the top, then with the AA as well. Punk sent Cena into the post and almost won by count out, but Cena dove back in at 9. Punk hit the GTS but Cena kicked out. Cena countered a second one into the STF and Punk got to the ropes. Punk hit a brutal piledriver for two. He then missed the flying elbow, Cena used something approaching a hurricanrana and hit the AA to finally get the pin. Fair to say this was Wrestlemania worthy, one of the best TV matches in years.
MAIN EVENT
– They showed Kaitlyn running into Cody earlier in the day. Sheamus interrupted their awkward moment and they argued over their facial hair, leading to Cody challenging Sheamus to a match tonight. He told Kaitlyn to watch because the lovestache would strike back.
– Sheamus d. Cody Rhodes in 10:28. Cody struggled early, before sending Sheamus off the apron with a disaster kick. Sheamus eventually made a big comeback, but Cody was able to rally. He got a couple of close counts late on, before Sheamus ducked another disaster kick and connected with the Brogue Kick.
– Mark Henry d. Justin Gabriel in 4:38. All Henry and finished off with a World’s Strongest Slam.
– Kaitlyn found Cody backstage mad over losing. She told him the moustache doesn’t give up and left awkwardly.
NXT
– Dusty spoke with Bo Dallas and Graves interrupted. Graves reluctantly handed back the NXT Title. Dusty pointed out Bo won the spot at Royal Rumble, not Graves. He made a triple threat for the number one contendership between them and Conor O’Brien.
– Justin Gabriel d. Leo Kruger in 11:42. Tyson Kidd was at ringside with Gabriel after Kruger’s attempted attack last week. Gabriel outwrestled Kruger at the start. Kruger eventually took over, but Gabriel fought back. A big clothesline almost won it for Kruger, but Gabriel caught Kruger with a sunset flip powerbomb off the ropes and followed with the 450. After the match Kruger grabbed Tyson’s crutch and jabbed Gabriel in the ribs with it.
– Aksana d. Emma in 4:40. Emma’s gimmick appears to be that she’s uncoordinated and has no rhythm. I can relate. Aksana caught her with a spinebuster for the pin.
– Bo Dallas was found laid out backstage being checked on.
– #1 Contendership: Corey Graves and Conor O’Brien went to a no contest when The Shield interfered. Bo wasn’t able to compete, making this one on one instead. It also meant heel versus heel, which meant the crowd really weren’t into this. Conor dominated until Graves attacked the leg. Then all of a sudden the lights went out and The Shield attacked both men. Crowd reacted big for The Shield. The Shield again warned things had to get worse before they got better.
SUPERSTARS
– Brodus Clay and Tensai d. Primo and Epico (Tensai pinned Epico) in 7:29. Brodus and Tensai had matching gear, or close to, which I’ve heard makes you a real tag team. Tensai did a cannonball in the corner, which is new. Primo and Epico briefly got the advantage, but Brodus ran through them and a double big splash got the win.
– Kofi Kingston d. David Otunga in 4:36. Otunga more than held his own for a while, before Kofi made his comeback, took Otunga out with a dive and hit Trouble In Paradise.
SMACKDOWN
– Alberto Del Rio d. Damien Sandow by submission in 9:43. Before the match Sandow said he believed Del Rio did fit in with the rest of America, due to his poor grammar, lackluster word choice and abhorrent sentence structure. He also insulted Ricardo and claimed he had timeless good looks. King, Cole and Josh did commentary. After an evenly fought match, Alberto countered Terminus into the cross armbreaker for the win. Swagger and Zeb were shown watching backstage during this.
– Bryan claimed the only reason Kane got the pin on Raw and not him was because he was blindfolded. So tonight Kane would be blindfolded instead. Kane didn’t seem concerned, which annoyed Bryan.
– WWE United States Championship, 2 Out Of 3 Falls: Antonio Cesaro (c) d. The Miz, by 2 Falls to 1 to retain the title. In the first fall both men went for quick pins, but it was Cesaro who went 1-0 up after catching Miz with the Neutraliser. The second fall we didn’t see besides a replay, unless you have the WWE Active app, because it began and ended during commercial. Guess they have to give people reasons to download it. Miz won with the figure four by the way. Finally, in the third fall, Cesaro reached the ropes to break a second figure four, before Cesaro stole a pin by holding the tights. Match was good, lack of second fall aside.
– Sheamus met with Orton backstage. Orton said he couldn’t worry about The Shield, he had to worry about Big Show. Sheamus offered to watch his back and Orton thanked him.
– JR interviewed Swagger and Colter in the ring. More of the same stuff. Swagger started to rough up JR when JR claimed Swagger was brain washed and Del Rio came out to defend him.
– The Primetime Players d. Team Hell No! (Titus pinned Bryan) in 3:55. Reverse of Raw, Kane was blindfolded and Bryan had his arm tied. Kane’s blindfold had a goat face on it, which he didn’t realise. Bryan was worked over before Kane made a blind comeback. He chokeslammed Young but couldn’t find him to get a pin. Bryan tagged himself in and Kane almost chokeslammed him by mistake, allowing Titus to roll up Bryan. After the match, Kane rejected a hug, stuck the goat face blindfold on Bryan and gave him an uppercut.
– Striker interviewed Big Show. He promised to make an impact by chokeslamming Orton tonight.
– Striker then interviewed Fandango. Fandango took issue with the way his name was pronounced, saying the As needed to be breathed in. He said he’d mastered dance and would take his rhythm and grace into the ring. He then decided he wasn’t debuting tonight after all, he’d debut when Striker got his name right.
– Big Show and Randy Orton went to a no contest when The Shield interfered. Orton gave Big Show a hanging DDT from the top rope, but before he could follow on that The Shield came to the ring. Sheamus ran out to help Orton but The Shield overwhelmed them, until Big Show gave Reigns the KO punch. Rollins and Ambrose helped Reigns away, before Show chokeslammed Orton and Sheamus gave Show the Brogue Kick.
What You (Probably) Need To See:
– Cena versus Punk, if you for some reason haven’t watched it yet.
– Lesnar and HHH’s fight.
– Ziggler versus Ryback.
– And Sheamus versus Cody on Main Event.