This Week In WWE TV – December 2-8, 2013

This week: Hopefully if you’re planning to watch TLC, you’re a fan of four things. Tables, ladders, chairs and three on one handicap matches which involve beloved internet wrestling superstars and beloved three man groups. If you’re not? Well, I’m afraid I’ve got some…. BAD NEWS.

Plus, RybAxel, a new/old Sin Cara, Women’s Title action on NXT, someone going through a table during a contract signing action on Raw and Punk on Ambrose action on Smackdown and presumably, subsequently, on Tumblr.

RAW

– Punk came out to open the show. He guessed The Shield attacked him because he criticised HHH and said he hoped he was wrong, but if he was right, The Authority were ignorant, stupid douchebags for crossing him. Stephanie interrupted and claimed her family were free speech advocates. She claimed she and HHH were upset with The Shield as well, but they were busy with the contract signing and suggested he direct any further grievances to Kane. Kane said they’d conducted an investigation and found The Authority had nothing to do with it. Punk insulted Kane and challenged him to a fight. Stephanie stopped him and The Shield came out, but Stephanie warned them not to attack. Then Kane booked Punk against The Shield in a 3 on 1 handicap match at TLC.

– Intercontinental #1 Contendership: Damien Sandow d. Dolph Ziggler in 3:58. Big E did commentary. Sandow won with the You’re Welcome full nelson slam to earn a title shot at TLC. Natalya and The Bella Twins d. AJ, Tamina Snuka and Summer Rae (Natalya pinned AJ) in 4:26. AJ spent nearly all of the match skipping around the ring. When she finally tagged in, Natalya caught her and tried a sharpshooter. Tamina saved AJ but the Bellas took her out, leaving AJ to get rolled up which sets up a title match at TLC for Natalya too.

– Wade Barrett returned as Bad News Barrett, with a podium set up at ringside. Essentially, he deliveres the bad news that the crowd were hillbillies. This isn’t exactly how it went on the JBL and Cole Show, but hey, it’s something. Backstage, Orton told Brad to tell The Authority he was the greatest superstar in WWE history and bigger than WWE itself.

– Daniel Bryan d. Erick Rowan in 11:03. Bryan built momentum at the end and escaped a press slam to roll Rowan up for the pin. As he went to leave, Bray appeared on the screen and invited Bryan to join the Wyatt Family. Bryan then ran into Kane backstage and Kane put Bryan in a 3 on 1 handicap at TLC too, with The Wyatts. R-Truth and Xavier Woods d. Tons Of Funk (Xavier pinned Brodus) in 4:09 after Brodus missed a second rope splash and Xavier scored roll up win number three of the night. Brodus was frustrated afterwards.

– Sin Cara d. Alberto Del Rio in 4:44. This was fairly clearly not the real Sin Cara, but Hunico under the mask. Del Rio threatened to send Sin Cara back to Mexico with the rest of the peasants before the match. But Sin Cara pulled off a surprise victory, countering the cross armbreaker and winning with a swanton. Renee then interviewed Cena. Cena said people had always argued which title meant more, but being undisputed champion would mean everything.

– Backstage The Shield told Punk he couldn’t beat any of them one on one. The Shield d. Big Show, Cody Rhodes and Goldust (Rollins pinned Goldust) in 17:32. Big Show dominated early. Punk was shown watching backstage, before Cody was eventually cut off. Big Show got the tag but was quickly cut off as well by Ambrose pulling down the top rope. Big Show finally caught Reigns with a chokeslam and Goldust ran wild, which including a flying hurricanrana on Rollins. Big Show pulled the ropes down on Ambrose but got speared outside by Reigns. Cody then hit a big dive on Reigns and Goldust tried to give Ambrose a superplex onto Rollins. But Rollins moved and quickly stacked Goldust after he landed to steal the win. This was really good and the best Shield six man in a while.

– Renee interviewed Punk, who feigned being happy about The Shield match, before saying he knew he’d go down at TLC but the question was how many he’d take down with him. Bad News Barrett delivered some more Bad News, before Miz and Kofi shook hands backstage, apparently having put aside their differences. But Ryback and Curtis Axel d. Kofi Kingston and The Miz (Ryback pinned Kofi) in 5:55 with Ryback winning with Shell Shocked, after which Miz slapped Kofi. Los Matadores then did the merchandise shill.

– Mark Henry d. Fandango in 3:22 with the World’s Strongest Slam and The Real Americans d. The Primetime Players (Cesaro pinned Young) in 6:45 after a mid air uppercut from Cesaro to Young, where thankfully Titus was not sick, although they did tease it. They did a Raw active vote for what the unified title should be called and Unified Champion won with 38% over Undisputed WWE and Undisputed World, before the contract signing for Cena and Orton closed the show. They went over the title lineages, so if that stuff annoys you I apologise. Both Orton and Cena signed. Orton claimed he was better than everybody who’d held the title before, including HHH and he was the only one capable of beating Cena. Cena claimed Orton was the most gifted star ever but never lived up to his potential because he got a bad attitude and got lazy, which allowed Cena to overtake him by earning it. Inevitably it broke down into a fight. Cena and Orton both used ladders and chairs on each other, before Cena threw Orton through one table and gave him an AA through a second one to end the show standing tall with both belts. Cena was more of the good Cena here as opposed to the joke cracking one and the crowd were into the brawl, so all in all this was good.

MAIN EVENT

– Goldust d. Ryback by DQ in 10:30 when Axel interfered. This was pretty fun while it lasted, aside from a Goldust powerslam which didn’t look particularly fun for either guy the way they landed. Goldust make a big comeback and even hit a dive, before Cody took out Axel to stop him from getting involved. Goldust then hit the Final Cut, but Axel broke up the pin to cause the DQ. Cody and Goldust cleared the ring of Axel and Ryback afterwards.

– The Usos d. Jinder Mahal and Drew McIntyre of 3MB (Jimmy pinned Jinder) in 5:09. No Slater because of a ‘vocal chord injury’. They teased on commentary there was more to this and teased some dissension. Jey hit a dive on Drew and Jimmy blocked a superplex, before hitting a superfly splash to Jinder for the win. They showed HHH talking about the World Title from his weekly WWE.com interview with Cole and he guaranteed there would be one champion at TLC. And Damien Sandow d. R-Truth in 9:04 with the You’re Welcome.

NXT

– At the start of the show they showed a clip from WWE.com, with Cesaro warning Regal not to stick his nose in his business, before Kruger interrupted. Kruger volunteered to become a Real American and said he had a match with Sami Zayn. Cesaro said he’d consider it and whispered something to him.

– NXT Womens Championship: Paige (c) d. Natalya in 9:48 to retain the title. The match started with a handshake and with some even mat wrestling. Paige escaped a sharpshooter and got a bit more aggressive after that. Natalya had a couple of near falls at the end before getting the sharpshooter. Paige managed to roll out though, which sent Natalya into the turnbuckle. And Paige then hit the Paige Turner to win. They hugged after the match.

– Breeze thanked Rusev for his help last week. He tried to make conversation but Lana got rid of him. She told Rusev she wanted him to crush Ohno and win the NXT Title. A new, male interviewer who wasn’t named interviewed Mojo. Lefort and Dawson interrupted and tried to recruit him. Mojo wasn’t interested and accepted a challenge from Dawson.

– Aiden English d. an unnamed jobber in 1:27 with the Director’s Cut. As he was leaving, after an encore of course, Cesaro came out. Cesaro brought Saxton onto the stage to apologise for last week, but then asked him to say We The People with him. Saxton did a half hearted job so Cesaro roughed him up again, clearly hoping Regal would come out to save him. Regal didn’t come out though and frustrated, Cesaro slapped Saxton.

– In another WWE.com clip, Sami was interviewed and attacked from behind by Kruger. They then recapped Kruger threatening to attack an injured Kruger back in February, before Tyson Kidd d. Leo Kruger in 5:13. Kruger went after Kidd’s knee, even using a sharpshooter at one point. But Zayn came out to distract Kruger, allowing Kidd to win with a roll up.

– Hunico and Camacho were interviewed on WWE.com saying they’d win the tag team titles next week and in the main event, NXT Championship: Adrian Neville d. Bo Dallas (c) by count out in 7:34. Bo struggled early but eventually took some control. Neville came back and hit a corkscrew dive. Bo then rolled away from the corkscrew shooting star, so Neville hit a crossbody to the floor. Neville beat the count, but Bo couldn’t so he lost but retained the title.

SUPERSTARS

– Kaitlyn d. Aksana in 4:38 with a spear, where the crowd seemed pretty into Kaitlyn and just like on Main Event, The Usos d. Jinder Mahal and Drew McIntyre of 3MB (Jimmy pinned Drew) in 8:16. Jimmy’s knee was worked on for most of the match, Jey made a comeback and after Jimmy took out Mahal, a superkick from Jey to Drew set up the superfly splash from Jimmy for the pin.

SMACKDOWN

– Big E Langston d. Fandango in 2:45 with Sandow on commentary. Fandango put up a decent fight but Big E won clean with the Big Ending. Afterwards Sandow got in the ring and confronted Big E. Orton then came out. He talked about the match with Cena and publically apologised to HHH and Stephanie for taking them for granted, before he was interrupted by Bryan. Bryan said he should apologise for impersonating a champion because he never legitimately beat him. Bryan said he wasn’t done with Orton just because he was caught up with the Wyatts and he’d be at the front of the line for whoever won at TLC. He then challenged Orton for tonight and even though Orton said no, the match was later made.

– Ryback and Curtis Axel d. Cody Rhodes and Goldust (Axel pinned Cody) in 4:15. Ryback and Axel had some double teams and actually pulled off the upset when Cody hit a disaster kick off the announce table to Ryback, but Axel rolled him up as he was getting back in the ring. So it looks like they’ll be getting a tag team title match soon. At his podium, Bad News Barrett insulted the crowd. Del Rio and Kofi were then supposed to have a match, but Del Rio attacked Kofi before it could begin and put him in the cross armbreaker.

– Backstage, The Shield cut a promo. Reigns said it would take the baddest man in The Shield to take out Punk and Ambrose said that was him. CM Punk d. Dean Ambrose in 13:30. Ambrose avoided a GTS early on and took control. Ambrose missed a senton and Punk fought back. Punk got the anaconda vice but Ambrose got a foot under the rope. Both scored near falls and Ambrose almost won with an armbar too, before both men countered each other’s finishers, ending with Punk kicking his way out of the side headlock driver and hitting the GTS for the pin.

– Renee interviewed Rey about the unification match. The Real Americans interrupted and Zeb confronted Rey about wearing a mask, before suggested Rey’s title wins should be stricken from the records if he didn’t have documentation. Rey pointed out he was from San Diego and Zeb challenged him to find a partner to face the Real Americans later.

– Natalya d. Tamina Snuka in 2:59. AJ did commentary. Natalya won after Tamina missed a superfly splash. Big Show and Rey Mysterio d. The Real Americans (Rey pinned Cesaro) in 4:20. Rey was isolated for much of the match, Big Show made a comeback, Rey hit a 619 to Swagger and after a chokeslam, Rey hit a splash off of Big Show’s shoulders to pin Cesaro. They showed a video package of former World (including NWA and WCW) and WWE Champions, then a clip from HHH’s weekly WWE.com interview, before Bad News Barrett delivered some Bad News that whoever won at TLC would have a target on his chest and be doomed to destruction.

– Randy Orton d. Daniel Bryan in 8:46. After an even start Orton ran away from a dive and got the advantage during the commercial. Bryan fought back and hit the dive. In the end, he countered the RKO and went for a flying headbutt but The Wyatts appeared. And the distraction lead to Orton winning with the RKO. Bray then appeared on the screen and Bray tried to convince Bryan to join the Wyatt Family again.