This Week In WWE TV – January 20-26, 2014

This week: The final shows before the Royal Rumble leave us wondering, who will go on to maybe or maybe not headline but at least challenge for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship at Wrestlemania? Will it be the returning Batista? Will it be the number one entrant CM Punk? Will it be Daniel Bryan?

What, too soon?

Plus, Grand Theft Orton, the Bo Dallas Banner Raising Ceremony, Bad News Barrett’s Five Quid Wrestling, CJ Parker becomes self aware and Big Show gets the better of Brock again.

RAW

– HHH and Stephanie opened the show talking about the Royal Rumble and tried to introduce Batista, but Orton interrupted. Stephanie ran down Orton for attacking Cena Snr. Orton complained about having to face Cena and them bringing back Brock and Batista. HHH brought up his loss to Kofi and said he expected Orton to make it right, not attack an old man to hide his shortcomings. He tried to motivate Orton to be a man and fix things, before giving him another match with Kofi tonight. HHH said when Cena arrived, Orton would have the opportunity to make things right with him too. Batista then came out, in the tightest jacket and jeans combo he could find apparently. What a man. Batista hugged HHH and Stephanie, who then left. Orton offered a handshake but Batista didn’t accept. He said he was back to be WWE World Heavyweight Champion and told him to deal with it.

– The Shield d. Cody Rhodes, Goldust and Big E Langston (Rollins pinned Big E) in 7:08. Shield struggled early and Cody hit a big dive on Rollins. Cody was cut off during the break. Big E made a comeback and had Ambrose up for the Big Ending, but Rollins made the save. Goldust hit a cannonball off the apron to him and Big E got a near fall with a big splash which Reigns broke up. Cody then went for the disaster kick and Reigns superman punched him out of mid air, before spearing Goldust. After Big E took out Reigns, Ambrose then caught Big E with a knee and Rollins hit the Blackout for the pin. The superman punch looked awesome on the slow motion replay.

– Bryan came out. Bryan said he had a plan all along. He said he exposed Bray and since Rowan and Harper were in the Royal Rumble, so that left Bray free to go one on one with him. Bray appeared on the screen and ended up accepting. Fandango d. Xavier Woods in 1:09. Truth did commentary. Fandango did the deal with a falcon arrow, then hit the legdrop off the top for the quick win. Emma was shown in the crowd again with her #EMMAtaining sign afterwards, dancing to Fandango’s music.

– Backstage Maddox claimed to Kane that Batista coming back was his idea. Stephanie told Brad to leave and warned Kane about what he did to Punk on Smackdown. Kane apologised, but Stephanie told him to apologise to Punk as well. So Kane went to the ring and called out Punk. He apologised, but Punk made him do it again. Punk then attacked Kane and sent him out of the ring, so Brad came out and put Punk in a match with one of the Outlaws. The Outlaws did rock, paper, scissors to decide. CM Punk d. Billy Gunn in 5:32. Road Dogg did commentary. Road Dogg distracted Punk early on, but later Punk teased a dive and slid outside to leap over the table onto Road Dogg instead. Billy got a near fall with a tilt a whirl slam after Road Dogg got knocked off the apron. Road Dogg pulled Billy outside to avoid an elbow, so Punk hit a dive on him. Rough night for Road Dogg. After avoided the Fameasser, Punk then hit the GTS for the pin. After the match Kane interrupted Brad and told Punk he’d be the number one entrant in the Royal Rumble.

– Outside, Brock and Heyman were shown arriving. They then showed a Mae Young tribute video. Alberto Del Rio d. Rey Mysterio in 11:59. Rey hit an asai moonsault. The poor guy is trying, despite the injuries and the jokes some people still make about them. Del Rio worked Rey over for a while before Rey made a comeback. Del Rio blocked the 619 and hit the kneeling superkick but Rey kicked out. Rey escaped the cross armbreaker and hit the 619 and splash, but Del Rio grabbed the bottom rope before the three count. And Del Rio went on to win with the cross armbreaker moments later. Afterwards, Batista came out to confront Del Rio. Del Rio tried to attack but Batista hit a spinebuster, then gave him the Batista Bomb.

– Big Show came out and called out Lesnar. Lesnar walked to the ring, but then left. So Big Show called him back. This time Brock got in the ring and they stared each other down. Brock punked him out, but Show blocked a takedown and faked a knockout punch before throwing Brock outside. Brock tore up the announce table and Heyman tried a distraction, but as Brock tried to slide in with a chair Big Show stepped on it. Brock then threw a monitor into the ring, before leaving.

– The Funkadactyls d. AJ and Tamina Snuka (Naomi pinned AJ) in 2:28. They showed a clip from WWE.com, of AJ trying to hold a party to celebrate her Divas Title reign and Bad News Barrett being the only person there. Of course Tamina took a cake to the face because it’s wrestling. Naomi surprised AJ with a roll up for the win. The Usos d. The Wyatt Family (Jey pinned Harper) in 9:10. Jimmy was worked over and at one point, got pushed off the top rope into the barrier. Bray started cutting a promo about Bryan during this. Jimmy finally hit a whisper in the wind and tagged Jey. Jey ran wild and Jimmy hit a dive on Rowan, but Harper blocked a dive by Jey. Bryan ended up attacking Bray and kicking Rowan, leading to Jey rolling up Harper for the pin.

– In the main event, Randy Orton d. Kofi Kingston by DQ in 5:08. Kofi ended up hitting an SOS for a near fall. Cena then showed up and Kofi stopped Orton from running away, leading to the DQ when Cena attacked Orton. Cena beat up Orton in the crowd and Orton tried to get away. He eventually made it outside and commandered a car to get away. Cena then went back to the ring, making sure to high five as many kids as he could on the way which was neat.

MAIN EVENT

– R-Truth d. Damien Sandow in 9:30. Xavier did commentary. Before the match, Sandow claimed he’d win the Rumble. After a back and forth finish, Sandow countered the Little Jimmy and applied the Royal Arch, but Truth made the ropes. Sandow complained and got rolled up. He kicked out, but then walked right into the Little Jimmy. This was a pretty decent match.

– Backstage, Aksana and Alicia interrupted a conversation between the Bellas and mocked Brie’s relationship with Bryan. They claimed they were joking but The Bellas didn’t seem impressed. The Bellas d. Aksana and Alicia Fox (Nikki pinned Alicia) in 4:15. Brie was worked over for a while. Nikki made a comeback and beat Alicia with the torture rack drop. Solid match as well. And Alberto Del Rio d. Sin Cara by submission in 9:58. Sin Cara hit a dive early before Del Rio took control. Del Rio gave him a beating as he usually does, no matter who’s under the mask apparently. He even pulled Sin Cara’s mask off at one point. Sin Cara put up a fight at the end. Del Rio avoided the swanton and hit the kneeling superkick for a near fall. Del Rio ended up hitting a double stomp off the top rope with Sin Cara hung in the ropes, then finished him with the cross armbreaker. Probably these two’s best match together and a pretty good show overall.

NXT

– Adrian Neville d. Wesley Blake in 4:14. Edin Stiles, Cody’s wife, is back as ring announcer. Neville shook Blake’s hand before the match. Solid showcase for Neville who won with the corkscrew shooting star. Devin interviewed Summer, Sasha and Charlotte the BFFs. Charlotte insulted Bayley and Summer said 2014 was their year. Alexander Rusev d. Xavier Woods by submission in 2:42 in a rematch from 2 weeks ago. Woods came out to Truth’s theme, so it looks like his awesome NXT theme has been sent to the audio vault. After Rusev won with the Accolade camel clutch again, he applied the hold again until Sin Cara of all people made the save and helped Xavier out of the ring.

– Antonio Cesaro d. CJ Parker in 3:34. The crowd were 100% behind Cesaro, as you’d expect against Parker. Parker tried an airplane spin but it had no effect on Cesaro, who then gave Parker the big swing. That made the whole match worth it. Cesaro then finished Parker with the Neutraliser. After the match, Sami came out using a crutch. He challenged Cesaro to a rematch from their two out of three falls match, but Cesaro said no and left.

– Devin interviewed Miz. Parker interrupted, complaining about the fact everyone was booing him. Miz called him disrespectful for interrupting him and CJ slapped him. Natalya d. Summer Rae by submission in 2:53. Renee joined commentary for this. Bayley accompanied Natalya and Sasha with Summer. They showed an interview with Natalya, who said she hoped Summer had a good chiropractor. Natalya won with the sharpshooter after blocking a spin kick.

– Devin interviewed Enzo and Big Cass. Enzo discussed his broken leg but Devin had no idea what he was talking about, so Cass explained he’d be back soon. Aiden English interrupted, pointing out he beat Cassidy last week and saying he considered the singing contest a draw after he ‘mysteriously slipped’. Cassidy accused him of taking cheap shots. When English started singing, Enzo and Cass left with Enzo running over Aiden’s foot with his wheelchair.

– Bo had a ‘banner raising ceremony’ to celebrate being the longest reigning NXT Champion. Bo tried to suck up to the fans and thanked some random people who were allegedly in the crowd, like his third cousin Charles, his sister’s college roommate and his fourth grade history teacher. He thanked his Bo-lievers and unveiled the banner, which just read ‘Bo Dallas, NXT Champion, 224 Days’. Neville came out and on behalf of everyone told him to shut up. The crowd chanted that Bo was a wanker. Bravo. Bo claimed Neville took 4:45 to beat a nobody to earn his last title shot and he could beat Neville quicker than that. So HHH appeared on the screen and made a match, where if Neville lasted the 4:45 he’d get a title shot at the live NXT. Beat The Clock Challenge: Adrian Neville and Bo Dallas went to a 4:45 draw. Bo had to wrestle in his suit. Neville played some cat and mouse early before Bo pulled the ring skirt out from under him, tripping him on the apron. Neville barely beat the count back in. Bo couldn’t beat Neville and Neville made a comeback with a minute left. Bo rolled away from the corkscrew shooting star, but Neville ran out the rest of the clock to earn the title shot. After the match Neville then avoided an attack from Bo and hit the corkscrew shooting star before counting his own pin and posing with the title.

SUPERSTARS

– Brie Bella d. Alicia Fox in 4:30. Aksana distracted Brie causing her to be tripped off the ropes, which caused Nikki to give Aksana the torture rack drop on the floor. Brie then got the win with a facebuster. And Sin Cara and Los Matadores d. 3MB (Sin Cara pinned Drew) in 6:37. Dives early from all three masked men. 3MB got the advantage on Fernando. Sin Cara made a comeback and El Torito hit a double springboard dive onto Slater and Jinder. Sin Cara then got the win over Drew with the swanton.

SMACKDOWN

– Big Show and Rey Mysterio d. The Real Americans (Rey pinned Cesaro) in 8:53. No Cole, we got JBL and Josh on commentary instead this week. Zeb complained about Big Show knocking him out two weeks ago before the match and insulted Rey as well. Rey and Big Show started strong before Cesaro cut Rey off as he tried a 619 to Swagger. Big Show made a comeback on both Real Americans and gave Swagger and Cesaro a double hiptoss. Rey then hit a 619 to set up the knockout punch, before hitting a splash off of Big Show’s shoulders for the pin. Heyman appeared after the match and said Show would have nothing to celebrate at Royal Rumble. He gave Big Show credit for what he did on Raw, which meant Brock beating him at Royal Rumble wouldn’t be enough, he’d be subjugated and then Brock would move on to conquer the rest of the WWE Universe.

– The Miz d. Brodus Clay in 1:15. Before the match, Bad News Barrett and his giant podium on a forklift appeared. Barrett put over the main event later, but he had some Bad News. We had to watch one of the worst matches in WWE history first. Barrett started a “Miz is awful” chant and continued to bury the match from his podium throughout the sadly short duration of it. Miz won with a kneeling DDT after Brodus was distracted by Barrett. Miz tried to get at Barrett after the match, as Barrett taunted him from high above. This was pretty amazing.

– AJ d. Cameron in 1:37. AJ won with the shining wizard after Cameron had gotten distracted and given Tamina a baseball slide. Afterwards Tamina went after Cameron on AJ’s orders, but Naomi gave AJ a full nelson atomic drop with Tamina out of the way. Backstage The Shield cut a promo about the Royal Rumble. Ambrose and Rollins both talked about what The Shield would do, before Reigns claimed he’d win. RybAxel d. Los Matadores (Axel pinned Diego) in 3:14 when Axel rolled up Diego with the tights. El Torito gave Axel a hurricanrana off the top and both Diego and Torito then dives, to Axel and Ryback.

– Punk came out. Punk discussed being number one in the Rumble and said it made him wonder how much HHH and Stephanie were paying attention, because being number one motivated him. Punk said the thing missing from his resumé was winning the Royal Rumble and he knew it wouldn’t be easy, but when you call yourself the best in the world you put a bullseye on your chest and you don’t complain, you back it up in the ring. Kane interrupted and wished Punk luck. Kane said he’d done some calculations and Punk had a 0.000000186% chance of winning. Not sure maths are Kane’s strong suit. Punk said when Kane handed over his mask he lost his manhood and said he’d been the best since day one.

– The Wyatt Family d. The Primetime Players (Harper pinned Young) in 1:08, with Harper beating Young with the spinning clothesline. Bray hit the Sister Abigail after the match and cut another promo on Bryan, which brought Bryan out to respond. Kofi Kingston d. Fandango in 2:57. Kofi did an inset promo, bringing up his past Rumble moments and saying he’d do anything and everything he could do to avoid elimination. Emma was shown in the front row with a #EMMAloution sign. Kofi won with Trouble In Paradise.

– In the main event, Cody Rhodes, Goldust, The Usos and Big E Langston d. The Shield and The New Age Outlaws by DQ in 13:17. Cody was cut off after a fairly even start. He managed to hit a moonsault on Reigns and make the tag to Goldust who ran wild on the Outlaws. Rollins hit a flying knee as he went for the Final Cut. Big E went for the Big Ending but took a spear from Reigns, which led to the match breaking down. Reigns took a superkick and a superfly splash. One of The Usos hit a dive and Billy hit a fameasser on the other, before taking a disaster kick from Cody. Road Dogg hit the pumphandle slam on Cody, then got rolled up by Goldust. The Shield all broke the pin which caused the referee to call for the bell. All ten men brawled after the match. Axel, Ryback, Truth, Xavier, Miz, Del Rio and Sandow ran out to join the fight. Punk then came out and got involved as well, the show going off the air with the brawl still going on.