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Chikara DVD Review:
Never Kneel at the Altar of Conformity
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0. Louden’s Song – N/R
Louden gets kicks off “Fan Appreciation Night” with a little ditty called Chikara Summer School. Not one of his best efforts, but Louden is a unique component and always at least a little entertaining, usually a LOT entertaining. I blame the song’s lyrics, which made the Russo-like mistake of putting over the heels.
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1. Blast from the Past: Rorschach vs. Dragonfly – **3/4
These guys were regulars before my time, so any nostalgia present will be lost on me. Deal with it. Dragonfly gets a quick roll-up. Rorschach responds by complaining about…something. Rorschach hits a dropkick, sending Rory out to the floor. Dragonfly takes flight and hits a big dive to the outside, nearly taking out a child! The child will surely be scarred for life. Nice going, Chikara. Rorschach gets control with a slingshot elbow and starts working the arm for the Rorschach Lock. Dragonfly responds with a big-time swinging DDT. Dragonfly gets jacked Warrior-style! Rorschach counters an Irish whip with a nasty sling blade! STEP-UP LARIAT! 1…2…Dragonfly kicks out. Rory goes for a Northern Lights Suplex…but Dragonfly counters with a Gory neckbreaker! Dragonfly goes for a Reverse Tornado DDT…but Rorschach finally hits the Northern Lights! And a second with a bridge! 1…2…Dragonfly kicks out again. Dragonfly manages to reverse a roll-up into a modified standing sling blade! 1…2…3? NO! The crowd thought that was the finish! Mantis calls them sheep on commentary. While Dragonfly is stunned, Rory takes advantage and rolls him into the Rorschach Lock! Dragonfly dodges a running move, nailing a leaping enzuigiri to the head! The Dragonfly Sleeper is locked in! He drops to a body scissors and Rorschach must tap! For guys that have been away for a while, they didn’t show a lot of ring rust.
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2. Daizee Haze vs. Rayna VonTash – *1/2
My favorite part of Daizee Haze is her constant complaining to the referee and fans before matches. It’s never shrill, and she’s usually right about whatever she’s talking about, yet she still gets heat doing it. Awesome. Rayna comes out in…shall we say PG-rated clothing? THIS IS A G-RATED SHOW, RAYNA! Daizee says the gloves must go, so Rayna suggestively removes them. G-SHOW! GEEE! Daizee stops her from taking them off, and the women go at it. Daizee uses one of my favorite heels counters: the headlock switch using the opponent’s hair and rope momentum. Daizee gets a suplex for two, which she scoffs at. She keeps yelling stuff. Rayna dodges a clothesline into a nice neckbreaker. Clothesline into the corner, but Daizee follows with a disgusting running kick to Rayna’s head! Mind Trip! 1…2…3! No one botched anything, both women showed good character, and the finish got excellent heat. I couldn’t complain if I wanted to.
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3. The UnStable vs. Incoherence & Hydra – **3/4
Frightmare goes to start, but he gets thrown out. Hallowicked and STIGMA end up in, with STIGMA hitting some nasty shots on ‘Wicked. ‘Wicked takes control with an Avalanche Snapmare, and STIGMA is disposed. Hydra and Vin enter, with Hydra owning Vin in every way possible. A running headbutt sends him to the floor. Frightmare trades with Colin again, and once again Colin ends up on the floor. Huge dive from Frightmare! He can’t’ stop playing to the crowd! Hallowicked gets control of him, but accidently slides him to Colin. Frightmare gets worked over by…everyone. A fan runs in a drops and elbow. Not really. That’s against the rules. It’s supposed to be three-on-three. STIGMA hits a delayed suplex for two. More chops and stomps. Then, some stomps and chops. Double dropkick from Vin and Colin. Vin is now cheering Frightmare on…but Hallowicked has had enough of his crap and wails on Vin without a tag. Frightmare hits a desperation tilt-a-whirl DDT. Hydra gets the tag! He cleans house, but gets stopped by STIGMA. STIGMA dumps him and tells Hallowicked to bring it. Yakuza Kick from Hallowicked…but STIGMA doesn’t go down! A second Yakuza Kick does the job! 1…2…Vin breaks it up. Everybody trades moves, with STIGMA hitting a neckbreaker over the knee followed by a Vin roll-up! 1…2…Hydra breaks it up with a twinkle toes double stomp. He Fred Astaire’d his chest! Go 2 Sleepy Hollow on STIGMA! STANDING KNEECOLEPSY! 1…2…Vin breaks it up again…and locks on the STF! Hydra pulls off Vin with the Hydralock! He’s got it fully locked in! Colin breaks it up…but he gets the Hydralock, too! After some reversals, Colin gets free and hits a lariat to a seated Hydra. ADDITUDE ADJUSTMENT! 1…2…3! Colin and the UnStable get the win.
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4. Tim Donst vs. Claudio Castagnoli – ***1/4
Donst’s entrance was good, Claudio’s was better. The difference? Showmanship. Heh, references to movies are fun. We start with some nice mat work from both guys. Donst actually gets the better of Claudio, countering most of Castagnoli’s own counters. The mat work continues as Claudio tries a few roll-ups, but Donst ends up in the ropes, hanging like a possum. Donst hits a waist lock takedown, but it only succeeds in infuriating Claudio, who responds with a gutwrench suplex, back body drop, and a butterfly suplex for two. Claudio hits a low-angle powerslam for another two. Claudio finally hits a European Uppercut, but Donst recovers and starts going for some roll-ups. Claudio again meets Tim’s technicality with brute force, stopping him with a hard clothesline. Claudio goes back to wearing Donst down with headlocks and camel clutches. Donst fires back with a failed armdrag, which he turned into a headscissors takedown. He hits the Donstitution! 1…2…Claudio kicks out. Claudio catches him with a standing spine buster transitioned into a Giant Swing. Three rotations and Claudio gives it up. The crowd is NOT in favor of this decision. He lines Donst up…BICYCLE KICK! 1…2…NO! Donst kicks out. Claudio lifts him up, but Tim counters with a big STO for two. Donst rolls through and tries to lock on the Chikara Special, but Claudio knows better and gets free. Donst moves to avoid a Claudio dropkick and Castagnoli ends up sitting on the second turnbuckle. Donst hits a running butt-butt and follows it up with a rope-hung German Suplex! 1…2…Claudio gets the shoulder up! THE STRAPS COME DOWN! But Donst turns around into a sick uppercut from Claudio and he follows with the Ricola Bomb for a triumphant three! I think I liked this a lot more than other did. The story was great, and there was only one botch that I saw, which was covered pretty well. Great effort in my books.
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5. Brodie Lee & Grizzly Redwood vs. Cheech & Cloudy – ***1/2
Before the match, The Roughnecks are given a sign from a fan that reads, “Welcome to Grizzly Redwood Country”. Grizz and Brodie absolutely destroy the thing as soon as it’s handed to them. It’s amazing. Redwood told me once in an interview why he destroyed it: “Look that sign very much took my breath away. To see such a majestic, hardy piece of wood engraved with my name was a sight to see. But you know what? It wasn’t even wood!!!!!! IT WAS FAKE!!! I HATE FAKE WOOD!!!!” Hear that, kids? Grizzly doesn’t stand for artificiality. Cloudy requests “the big one” to start, and Brodie charges. Cloudy clarifies that he meant Redwood. Cloudy and Cheech hits some nice double team moves to start, but Brodie soon gets in and goes to town on Cheech. They trade forearms, and Cheech manages to hit a Thesz Press. He gets kicked into the corner, and he and Brodie keep ducking each other until Lee hits a devastating clothesline. Cheech is slowly brutalized with chops, axe handles, and double-teams. Cheech blocks a suplex, but Brodie hits a big dropkick to drop him once again. High-angle butterfly suplex! 1…2…Cheech keeps fighting. Cheech finally finds an opening, tossing Grizz away and hitting a guillotine ace crusher on Brodie Lee. Cloudy gets the hot tag and hits a top rope dropkick on Brodie. Tilt-a-whirl DDT to Brodie! Sitdown Uranage to Redwood! 1…2…Redwood kicks out. Cheech and Cloudy go for a double team maneuver, but Grizz prevents it. Brodie slaps on a modified cloverleaf to Cloudy! The crowd pleads with Cloudy not to tap. Cheech tries to break it up, but Brodie lets it go to swat him away. The Roughnecks have Cheech isolated. Superkick from Brodie! Rana into the turnbuckles from Redwood! HALF-NELSON SUPLEX FROM BRODIE! 1…2…Cloudy breaks it up! He dodges Brodie’s attack, but gets a double axe handle from Redwood. Redwood goes after Cloudy, but he dodges and hits double knees. Corner spear from Cloudy! Slingshot Complete Shot! TIDAL WAVE! 1…2…Brodie breaks up the pin! Cloudy and Cheech dispose of him with an enzuigiri / superkick combination. “Cloudy with a Chance of Cheech” to Redwood! They hoist him up for the powerbomb / shining wizard combo…but Brodie takes Cloudy out with a catch-and-release kneeling Michinoku Driver followed by a HUGE boot to Cheech. Doomsday Axe Handle to Cheech! 1…2…Cloudy dives in to break it up! Grizz holds Cloudy back and Brodie ends Cheech with a deadlift gutwrench powerbomb. 1…2…3. The Roughnecks get the victory. A really fun match. Again, I think I liked this more than most. I’m a huge Grizz mark, so maybe that explains things. Best of the show thus far.
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6. Amasis vs. Lince Dorado – ***1/4
Two of Chikara’s brightest young stars against each other one-on-one. I…expect…some botches. Some good back-and-forth lucha libre from the two men to start. Amasis pulls out all the stops from the get-go though, hitting a springboard Russian Legsweep to counter the Lynxsault, followed by a dive over the ringpost onto Lince. Aren’t Egyptians supposed to be deathly afraid of cats or something? Arnold Vosloo ran like hell when he saw one in The Mummy. Anyway, Amasis does some illegal chokes and nails the Arn Anderson spinebuster. He then misses the Arn Anderson Dancing Elbow Drop, a rarity in the Anderson move set. Amasis does some splits to dodge Lince, so Dorado just kicks him in the face to make him stop. Lince then hits an insane “cat”apult leg drop to Amasis on the apron! SASUKE SPECIAL FROM LINCE! He elbows one of the security guys by accident, who may or may not be a student paying his dues. If so, I smell the start of a future feud. Seated senton from Lince! Wheelkick to Amasis! Standing Wrist-Clutch Exploder Suplex! Standing Moonsault! 1…2…Amasis kicks out. Lince, if you could find a way to get the crowd into you and NOT spit in Jun Akiyama’s face, I’d appreciate it. Springboard elbow shot stops Lince. Lince is placed up top and gets hit with a powerslam. SECOND-ROPE 450 SPLASH FROM AMASIS! 1…2…Lince freaking kicks out. Lince counters repeating powerbombs with a spike rana! 1…2…not enough! Amasis get the shoulder up! A palm-strike to Amasis that sends him to the top rope. Standing frankensteiner to Amasis. Standing Shooting Star Press! 1…2…Amasis kicks out! Lince lifts him up and heads off the ropes…DESTROYER DDT~! 1…2…..Amasis kicks out yet again! Ophidian is slithering on the ground outside the ring. Lince knocks him off the apron, so Ophidian slides Amasis the cast off of his arm. The ref sees this and as he goes to dispose of it, Ophidian crotches Dorado on the top rope. Amasis hangs Dorado in a Razor’s Edge position and spins him into a DDT, calling it the Egyptian Conniption! One…Two…Three! Amasis gets over his inherent fear of cats and secures the win. Too much overkill cost the match a little bit, but there was great stuff here, too. And there weren’t really any horrible botches! YAY!
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7. Grudge Match: Icarus & Gran Akuma vs. Jigsaw & Mike Quackenbush – ***1/2
Jigsaw charges the ring to start things off, and it seems to surprise even his partner Quack. Akuma and Jigsaw trade kicks to start off until Icarus dumps Jigsaw with a dropkick. Quack enters and eats a shoulder tackle from Icarus, taking the bump on his chest. It doesn’t paint a flattering picture of Mike’s surgically-repaired back if he’s taking odd bumps off of freakin’ shoulder tackles. Quack throws out Icarus and uses Akuma as a springboard for a dive to the outside! Maybe I spoke, er, wrote too soon! Back in Quack hit a sole butt kick and nails QD3 on Akuma! 1…2…too early in the match and Akuma kicks out. Icarus sneaks back in a hits a fall away slam to Quack. F.I.S.T. work over Quack’s back with kicks and stomps. Akuma slaps on a Boston crab, but Quack is able to reach the ropes. Some drunken woman in the crowd is cheering Icarus like mad. Perhaps an elderly Mrs. Icarus? Heh heh. Quack bails out to make the lucha tag, but he was nice enough to wave goodbye when he did so. Jig comes in like a house of…of…something hot. Dropkick to a seated Icarus. F.I.S.T. comes back with a team enzuigiri / spear combo in the corner, and Akuma slaps on a sharpshooter. Jigsaw reaches the ropes. Akuma says something to Quack and gets Mike’s attention, allowing Icarus to hit an apron lung blower to Quack! ICARUS’S PURTPORTED GIRLFRIEND GOES CRAZY! Akuma continues to work over Jig’s knee. Second rope leg drop from Icarus. Dueling chants of “yay Icarus!” and “boo Icarus” between the drunk chick and…everyone else in the crowd. Jigsaw tries to tag out, but Quack is still hurt on the floor. Jig finally gets to his corner and Quack slides in. Palm strike to Icarus! Shotgun dropkick to Akuma. Jig and Quack lift Icarus onto Akuma’s shoulders. They dropkick Akuma’s knees and he powerbombs his own partner! Superkick from Jigsaw to Akuma. And a second. Akuma dodges a third and sets up for the Rubik’s Cube. The Rubik’s Cube conne…no! Jigsaw flips out of it and nails the third superkick to a seated Akuma! 1…2…Icarus breaks up the pin. Quack tries a sunset flip, but Icarus holds on. Enzuigiri from Jig! Quack gives Icarus both books from below him! Brainbuster from Jigsaw! One…Two…Icarus somehow kicks out! Quack goes for a backslide on Icarus, but Akuma breaks it up with a deadlift gutwrench powerbomb. Quack is writhing in tremendous pain. Akuma sneaks up on Jigsaw, and he and Icarus nail the tombstone facebuster / ace crusher combination on Jigsaw! 1…2…Quack breaks it up. Powerslam from Akuma to Quack, followed by Akuma powerbombing Icarus (intentionally this time) onto Quack. Yikes. 1…2…Quack kicks out. Akuma hits a nasty half-nelson suplex on Jigsaw and sets him up for a reverse brainbuster. But Quack gets to his feet and, taking a liking to Akuma’s idea, nails him with a reverse falcon arrow for 2. Icarus hits Diamond Dust on Jigsaw and a spinebuster on Quack. 1…Quack kicks out at one? Icarus eats chops from an invigorated Quack. Akuma distracts the ref and Icarus fouls Quackenbush! BLU-RAY DVD ON QUACK. Icarus drags him to the center of the ring. 1…2…3. F.I.S.T. gets the win. Well that was crazy. A little disjointed at times, and Quack selling an apron lung blower like death was confusing. The bump’s the same as a standard one, right? If anything, Icarus should have been hurt more. Still, the action was great and the crowd was AWEOMSE, thanks in large part to Icarus’s loony, loud-mouth liquored-up lady-friend. Say that five times fast.
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8. The Colony vs. The Order Of The Neo Solar Temple– ***
This is the first time that The Colony has teamed as a trio since WHEN. Back then, it was Worker with Fire and Soldier Ant. Now, it’s the youthfully exuberant Green Ant in his full trio debut. Delirious quickly tosses out Fire and Green Ant, but Soldier Ant get the better of him with a saluting headscissors takedown. Fire and Soldier hit a marching flapjack on Delirious, but UltraMantis catches Fire Ant from behind. Crossbones makes his way in, but he’s met with a Soldier Ant-assisted shoulder tackle from Green Ant! Rolling Senton from Fire Ant. Saluting Elbow Drop from Soldier Ant. Green Ant misses a splash. Elbow drops from Delirious and Mantis. Crossbones hits a Falling Body Drop for 2. It wasn’t a Splash. He got absolutely no air. Green Ant gets messed up by The Order. UltraMantis screams and slaps him and scream and slaps him some more. Body Splash into the corner from Crossbones. Big, nasty senton from Crossbones, followed by an elbow drop and a leg drop. Crossbones is huge dude. “Green Ant” chants permeate the atmosphere. Delirious slaps the Cobra Clutch on Green Ant….but Green Ant finally gets free! Soldier is in! Like a house of Matt Hardys! Soldier Ant hits the Saluting Headbutt as Fire Ant nails Heat of the Moment on UltraMantis Black. BOTH MEN DIVE AND WIPE OUT THE DELIRIOUS AND MANTIS. Mantis is rolled back in. 1…2…Mantis kicks out. Fire Ant is knocked off the top by Crossbones. Green Ant slaps Crossbones…and he gets a Savate kick in return! Shades of Rikishi there, and not just in size. Okay, mainly in size. Double shoulder block from Delirious and Crossbones. “Cherry on the Sundae” triple team from The Order! 1…2…Green Ant kicks out. Triple Chokeslam…is broken up by the other Ants. They throw Crossbones into UltraMantis for a huge back splash in the corner. TRIPLE DROPKICK TO BOTH MEN! Now it’s 3-on-1 against Delirious. Three Big Boots to Delirious! The Anthill…is broken up by Mantis and Crossbones. Backdrop Breaker from Crossbones to Fire Ant. Soldier Ant gets a Butterfly Suplex from Mantis. Delirious hits the Cobra Clutch Backbreaker on Green Ant. TRIPLE CHOKESLAM ON GREEN ANT! 1…2…Soldier Ant saves the day. Soldier evades an attack from UltraMantis and roll him into the Chikara Special! A nasty Panic Attack from Delirious breaks it up. Delirious looks for Shadows over Heck, but Fire Ant meets him there and hits an Avalanche Fireman’s Carry Slam! Buzzsaw Kick to Delirious! Beach Break…is blocked. Delirious goes for the Praying Mantis Bomb…but that too is blocked. Burning Down the House to Delirious! Big Splash from Green Ant! 1…2…Delirious kicks out. Four-Leaf Cloverleaf on Delirious…is broken up by Crossbones with a weaksauce kick. UltraMantis and Delirious try and whip Green and Fire Ant to Crossbones, but they reverse it and Crossbones clotheslines his partners instead! Soldier Ant hits an Avalanche Sunset Flip! 1…2…3! Soldier Ant pins Crossbones. Fun match, I guess. Like the rest of the show, it just didn’t have much importance.
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OVERALL – 7.5 / 10
I’ll be honest: I like this show a lot more than others have. That’s around the third time I’ve said that, but I don’t care. Lince/Amasis, Claudio/Donst, and the main event of The Colony vs. The Order were all good. QuackenSaw vs. F.I.S.T. and The Roughnecks vs. Cheech and Cloudy were even better. The best part, though, was the awesome crowd. I think I just really like the intimate settings of Reading when the in-ring action is up to snub. Their last show was pretty terrible, but this was really soild, and matches like QuackenSaw/F.I.S.T. were actually elevated by the small but voiciferous fans. It was around two hours of solid action, every match was watchable, and the fans were great throughout. For die-hards, I’d reccomend this show easily. For everbody else…use your best judgement, I guess.
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The All-Important M’s
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Match: Close call, but the Roughnecks taking on Cheech and Cloudy was just a bit better than the QuackenSaw/F.I.S.T. tag. The crowd was great in both contests, but Roughnecks/C&C was a bit smoother and more fun. QuackenSaw/F.I.S.T. had some logic problems and a weaker than expected heat segment. So it goes to Brodie, Grizz, Hernandez and Mr. Day.
Move: Pretty weak on interesting moves, to be honest. I’d say the Blu-Ray DVD, but it wasn’t over at all. Perhaps Lince’s awesome flipping DDT? Yeah, not likely. Amasis kicked out of the damn thing. No, I’m gonna go with Daizee Haze’s sick Yakuza to poor Rayna VonTash’s head. It was brutal, lead to the finish, and it got excellent heat. Yep…a Yakuza kick was the best move. Just goes to show you that any move can be the best or most important if the timing and execution are right.
Moment: This one is so easy: The Roughnecks going crazy on the Styrofoam sign. Remsburg’s reaction was absolutely classic. Either he wasn’t in on the joke or the Roughnecks really did just decide to destroy the thing. Truly epic.
MVP: Brodie Lee. This was nearly his fourth award for this show: his deadlift gutwrench powerbomb might’ve been top move…if Akuma didn’t do it himself a half-hour later. Still, he had a very good promo with Grizz, the All-Important Moment with Grizz, and was the best part of the best match on the show. What more can you ask of the guy?
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