Chikara DVD Review: Young Lions Cup VII (Night 1)

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Chikara DVD Review:

Young Lions Cup VII (Night 1)

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1. YLC VII Quarter-Final Match: Brendon Michael Thomas vs. Frightmare – **
This is the first of six matches where the winners will advance to a main event elimination match for the right to advance to Night 3’s main event final for the Young Lions Cup. Frightmare is considered a favorite and “BMT” looks & talks like a doofus, so you can imagine who I’m rooting for. To make matters worse, they gave BMT promo time, and he blew it big time. Thomas gets sent to the outside with Frightmare’s quickness. BMT will not shut up and it’s starting to annoy me. Frightmare hits a flipping dive to shut him up…for now.  When he gets back in, BMT catches Frightmare on the middle rope with a springboard lungblower he calls the BRB Lungblower. That’s awful. The ref turns his back and Brendon jabs Frightmare in the throat with his afro pick. BMT hits a dropkick and starts a “Frightmare” chant for some reason. BMT comes charging, but Frightmare moves and hits a turnbuckle-assisted German suplex! 1…2…not enough. BMT comes back with a running boot to the jaw. Cartwheel into a Backflip Kick from Frightmare! Hurricanrana to the floor on BMT! Back in Frightmare gets sent off the ropes and hits a spike pop-up rana for 2.  BMT comes back with a brainbuster for 2. It’s called the BMT3, and its meaning is beyond stupid. I hate Brendon Michael Thomas. Brendon gets sent into the ropes with a kick and he’s now sitting on the middle rope, barely holding on to the top. Frightmare heads up…KNEECOLEPSY TO BMT! Sweet Potato Pie that was nasty! 1…2…BMT is too close to the ropes. Frightmare sets up for the Top Rope Kneecolepsy, but it misses. BMT hits a crossbody while Frightmare’s knees are tucked underneath him! 1…2…3! BMT beats Frightmare, and the crowd is absolutely LIVID! Okay match, but Thomas needs to go. Frightmare dragged this to an enjoyable contest.
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2. YLC VII Quarter-Final Match: Tim Donst vs. Hydra – **1/4
Great promo from Donst before the match. In two more years, he’ll be completely reliable on the mike, like Hero, Cabana, or Steen. In four, he may be at Sweeney or Kingston’s level. I feel he’s that good. Tag partners facing one another here, which is Night Two’s gimmick, but Night 1 gets some tag team turmoil, too. The letter T. We start with some fun mat work, where they show how familiar they are with one another. Hydra wants the test of strength! They go back and forth “like they’re slow dancing” as Quack points out on commentary. Donst goes for a shoulder tackle but can’t take Hydra down. Hydra drops the straps! It’s ON now. I’m not sure what it was before, but NOW it’s on. Donst tries again but he pulls him into a headlock. Donst slips out and puts Bryce in his place! BRYCE IS FADING! Donst is acting referee, and he tests to see if Remsburg is out. Arm goes down once…arm goes down twice…”If he’s out, who loses!?” Quack muses on commentary…Bryce gets the arm up! He sends Hydra off the ropes and nearly gets shoulder tackled before Hydra realizes it’s not Donst. Donst comes off with a diving shoulder tackle, winning with the Should Tackle Battle and sending Hydra to the floor. Donst tries a dive, but Hydra slides in and hits Donst with a dive of his own! Hydra injured his ankle though, and Donst is unsure whether he should try to capitalize. He rolls Hydra in, hitting a suplex and a German Suplex for 2. Hydra off the ropes…HYDRALOCK APPLIED! But Donst is out and hits an Ocean Cyclone for 2. ANKLE LOCK FROM HYDRA! Donst manages roll through and slaps an ankle lock on the injured Hydra, drawing the ire of the fans. Donst lets go of the hold, trying to keep the contest sporting. Chinbreaker and a sleeper clothesline from Hydra gets two. Hydralock from Hydra…is reversed into a Donst Hydralock! Hydra pushes off the turnbuckles and falls on Donst with a front bridge! 1…2…3~! Donst is gone and he does not look happy, but in the end he congratulates and helps Hydra to the back. Funny little match.
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3. YLC VII Quarter-Final Match: Jason Hades vs. Dasher Hatfield – **
This is the debut of Dasher Hatfield, Create-A-Wrestler’s third persona. Jason Hades has no idea what to make of him. Dasher locks up like he’s swinging a bat, and this is already awesome. Dasher tells Hades “good game” and slaps him on the rear end. Hades misses a clothesline for strike one, a spin kick for strike two, and Hatfield stops the attempt three. He hits a softball-style uppercut followed by a CHARGE~! Into the corner. He tries another but Hades hits a nasty turning gamengiri, which Quack calls an abisegiri. I’m pretty sure an abisegiri is like a Koppou Kick, so I believe I’ve just witnessed Quack call a move incorrectly, perhaps for the first time ever. More kicks and chops from Hades. Dasher gets a nice two-handed swing to the midsection, but Hades once again cuts him off with a kick. Hades off the ropes, but Dasher hits a Fisherman Exploder! Seventh Inning Stretch on Hades! This gimmick is working on so many levels. Hades gets to the ropes and sends Dasher out to the apron. Double Springboard Axe Kick from Hades for 2! PUMPHANDLE TIGER SUPLEX! 1…2…Dasher kicks out! Dasher locks on a Standing Seventh Inning Stretch, but it not quite the same submission as before. Oops. Hades gets free and hits a very sloppy Killswitch. 1…2…not enough, as Dasher kicks out again. Hades goes for the move again, but Dasher lifts him up and botches an Inverted Kudo Driver, turning it into more of a double underhook gutbuster for the 3. Dasher’s debut is a success. This was fun, but the finishing stretch was butchered. It’s unfortunate too, as they were really doing some great stuff. It’s still the best CAW has ever looked though.
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4. YLC VII Quarter-Final Match: Chimaera vs. Cloudy – **3/4
Cloudy calls the crowd “brahs”, which is great. Chimaera is apparently not his “brah”, taking to him quickly and screaming like a banshee right in his face. They start with some technical stuff, ending with Cloudy surfing on Chimaera. A couple headscissors from Cloudy and his crazy middle rope tornado dive puts Chimaera down. Chimaera comes back with a high-angle back suplex and a kneeling choke for 2. Chimaera gives him the Even Heat backbreaker / gutbuster combo for another 2. Cloudy tries to gun it, but Chimaera pulls him back and hits a running boot. Chimaera hits some sick strikes using his knee, but Cloudy hits a missile dropkick. Chimaera comes back with a stungun and they fight on the outside. Back in, Cloudy hits a headscissors DDT and goes to town on Chimaera with forearms and elbows. O’Connor Roll gets 2. Crucifix Bomb gets 2. Chimaera stops Cloudy with a boot and a Bridging Fall Away Slam for 2. Sitout Tiger Facebuster gets two. A spinebuster gets two again. Chimaera goes for the Corkscrew Moonsault, but no one’s home. Cloudy comes back with the Flipping Square Driver, and that’s enough to put Chimaera away! Cloudy advances to the main event. Super fun match, in part due to the always fantastic commentary duo of Quack and Bryce.
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5. YLC VII Quarter-Final Match: Colin Delaney vs. Stinky the Homeless Guy – *3/4
Stinky comes out axing for some dough, but Colin give him a kick to the gut instead. Stinky gets slapped with his own hat. Colin goes for the Attitude Adjustment…but Stinky gets his jackknife powerbomb, the Stink Bomb! Colin rolls out of the ring though, and by the time Stinky gets back in, Colin has recovered enough to kick out at 2. Stinky is rocking Delaney with shots, including a clothesline from the apron back into the ring. Colin stops Stinky with a bill he had hiding in his tights! As Stinky hilariously tries to tuck it into his pocket, Colin unloads on him. Colin then takes the money back out from his pocket! What a jerk. Now Stinky’s beaten and still poor. Colin tries a suplex, but Stinky counters with a swinging suplex for 2. Colin counters a whip into the corner with a front dropkick. Colin hit s leg lariat and a dive over the rope to Stinky. Colin goes for the Dreamer DDT back in, but Stinky hits an Olympic Slam instead! 1…2…Colin gets the shoulder up. Stink Bomb once again…is blocked. A series of roll-ups are unsuccessful for Colin, but Colin is finally able to nail an RKO to Stinky for the win. The crowd boos like Colin owes them money. This was alright; really short with a pretty quiet crowd. Stinky was a bunch of fun.
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6. YLC VII Quarter-Final Match: Prince Mustafa Ali vs. Lince Dorado – *1/4
Ali cuts a promo that absolutely sucks. It a cliché on top of a cliché on top of something Stinky threw up and slept in the night before. He gets mad at Americans for calling him different, acknowledges that he is different, says he wakes up to bombs exploding, and claims to be his people’s prince. I’d say more, but I’d like to keep this clean. Ali says before the match that he has some sort of control over gas prices. Lince starts a USA chant. I want this to be over already. The action starts fast and a little sloppy, but they’re mainly roll ups. They do a “both hitting punches” spot to insinuate hatred, but it’s just dumb. They both end up on the apron and Lince badly botches a headscissors. They awkwardly get back on the apron, and then do the spot anyway. It would’ve been great if they had hit it clean, but it didn’t come off well because of the mess up. Sasuke Special from Lince! Ali avoids getting thrown in, hitting a running spinebuster on the ringpost to Lince. Back in, Ali avoids an attack and hits a Back Suplex into a Kick on Lince, working over the back. Lince gets thrown into the ropes and sells it Shawn Michaels style. Dorado goes for a DDT, but Ali blocks and hits a Flacon Arrow into a Kick for 2. These [blank] into kick moves are kind of dumb. He yells to the crowd that he’s going to “break [Lince’s] back” and the crowd cheers. Nice heel work, Ali. On the outside, Lince runs Ali crotch first into the turnbuckle! As the crowd taunts him, Mustafa painfully and lazily says, “I’ll still bomb your country”. THAT’S the first awesome thing he’s done so far. They go slap-for-slap on their knees, but Lince gets the better with a standing snap rana and a wheel kick to Ali. Lince hits the Tiger Flip and a second-rope moonsault for two. Ali comes back and whiffs on a kick, but Dorado still sells it and comes back with one of his own. Lince goes up top, and Ali meets him with another bad kick. Ali once again crotches him with a dropkick and heads for high ground. SENTON TO LINCE PRONE ON THE TOP ROPE! That was really nice. Ali’s trying to pull Lince of, but he can’t. He heads to the top, but Lince pushes him off. Lince misses a Shooting Star Press. Ali goes up…IMPLODING 450 SPLASH…also misses. Ali is back up top, but Lince jumps to the top, hitting a Spanish Fly for the win. Ali landed on Lince’s legs, and Dorado is definitely in pain. You know who else is in pain? Me, having had to watch that match. This was the case of two guys who tried to go all out and absolutely failed, botching the two biggest spots in the match and injuring Lince in the process. This was just a horrible, horrible indy match. I really like Lince, but he’s best when using a less-is-more approach and Ali did not impress me one bit, in any facet of his game, outside of one move and one throwaway line. Ugh. Worst match of the entire show and one of Chikara’s worst of the year.
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7. Brodie Lee vs. Cheech Hernandez – ***1/4
I love Brodie’s contempt for referees and Louden. These guys are Miracle Ultraviolence bruthas, so this will probably end up being the best match on the show.  A “Cheech is gonna kill you” chant breaks out. Brodie destroys Cheech’s glasses to start, and it gets more heat than anything on the show so far. Cheech uses the Power of Lucha to take Brodie to the outside. He tries a dive, but Brodie just slaps him out of midair! Brodie nearly chops the ringpost by accident, but he stops himself at the last second. His puts Cheech back in front of it again, but once again Cheech ducks and Brodie clotheslines the post hard. Back inside, Cheech hits a Thesz Press and starts slapping Brodie. He gets pushed off though, and Lee hits a big Cracker Jack for 2. It didn’t help that he tried the pin while standing on him with one boot. Brodie just beats the crap out of Cheech, but misses the Big Freakin’ Knee, allowing Cheech to hit Divorce Court to a kneeling Brodie. Brodie gets up first though, putting Cheech down with a slap. He surfs on Cheech’s back, delivers a stalling suplex, and hits a kneeling butterfly suplex for 2. Cheech ducks a boot and hits a HUGE powerslam! He dives out onto Brodie like a missile, sending him in to the third row. Back in Cheech tries a hurricanrana, but Brodie holds, flips him and Cheech converts it into a kneeling facebuster! Off the ropes…Busaiku Knee from Cheech! 1…2…Brodie kicks out. Superkick to Lee. Double foot face wash in the corner! 619 FROM THE FLOOR TO BRODIE IN THE CORNER! 1…2…Brodie kicks out again. Lee tries a chokeslam, but Cheech backflips free. Half-Nelson Suplex from Brodie! HUGE LARIAT FROM LEE! 1…2…Cheech gets the shoulder up. A pop-up dropkick from Cheech is followed up with Torbellino for 2. Cheech tries a triangle choke, but he gets a Turnbuckle Powerbomb, a running boot in the corner, and a swinging sideslam! 1…2…NO! Cheech gets the shoulder up! Roll up attempt is thwarted but Cheech locks on a Kimura! The crowd chants for Brodie to tap. But he just stands to break it up, and hits a Michinoku Driver! DEADLIFT GUTWRENCH POWERBOMB! 1…2…3! Brodie wins. Easily the best match of the show so far.
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8. Jagged & Shane Matthews vs. Fire Ant & Soldier Ant – ***
Jagged and Soldier Ant go at it to start things off. Jagged gets put in a double chickenwing. “Don’t tap!” shouts Shane from his corner. “I can’t!” Jagged responded politely. Jagged and Shane Matthews argue over who the better wrestler is, so he steps up. He meets the same fate as his partner, who mockingly applauds his effort. Jagged gets sent back in and tries to call time out. Fire Ant denies him. Double Hip Toss into a Senton / Saluting Headbutt combination. Matthews gets the blind tag, but fails to do anything worthwhile. Fire Ant chases Shane, who eventually catches him with a spinebuster on the outside. Fire Ant gets sent back in and worked over. Fire Ant eventually hits a Double DDT on 2.0 and makes the tag to Soldier Ant, who hits some really nice, stiff shots on Jagged. Matthews steps in o break up a count, only to get a double corner dropkick. Matthews goes for The Boston Crab, but can’t lock it in. Jagged runs in and hits a Samoan Flapjack. Fire Ant hits Burning Down the House on Jagged. Fire Ant up top…misses a Senton…BOSTON CRAB ON FIRE ANT! He gets dragged back to the center…but Soldier Ant breaks it up. Chops from Soldier to Matthews, and he lifts him up for the TKO…but he waits for Fire Ant to get Beach Break, allowing Matthews time to wiggle free. Fire finally gets Jagged up for it, but Soldier gets sent into him, and then eats a German Suplex! Jagged rolls up Fire Ant! 1…2…Fire Ant kicks out. Fire Ant has had enough, delivering nasty buzzsaw kicks to both opponents. Burning Down the House on Matthews…is blocked. Wheelbarrow / Inverted Lungblower combo! 1…2…Soldier Ant breaks it up. Matthews has Fire Ant on the top rope…but he gets pulled down by Soldier Ant. Heat of the Moment on Shane Matthews. Jagged is back in and gets a buzzsaw kick from Fire Ant. Roaring Saluting Elbow from Soldier Ant. Ants Go Marching! One…Two…Three! The Colony get their third point to challenge for the tag belts. Very fun match, but the crowd was pretty dead for it.
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9. YLC VII Semi-Final Elimination Match:  The Six Quarter-Finalists – **1/2
It’s BMT, Dasher Hatfield, Hydra, Lince Dorado, Cloudy, and Colin Delaney trying to get to Night Three’s final. Hydra and Colin brawl to start off, and Dasher and BMT come in next after the first two take it to the floor. BMT calls Dasher “Barry Bonds”, which makes absolutely no sense. Hope he’s gone after this. Dasher catches Thomas with a big powerslam, and he bails. He returns with a cup for Dasher to pee in. I’ve seen WWE sketches involving Mark Henry with more originality and humor than this nonsense. YOU’RE BETTER THAN THIS CHIKARA! Dasher chases him with a bat, and it’s now Hydra and Colin once again. They brawl, with Hydra hitting a BIG punch on Colin. Colin is invited back in, and they brawl to the outside. Cloudy gets the tag from Dasher, who places BMT up top and dangles him in the Tree of Woe. Cloudy throws a phantom fastball, and Dasher crushes it to centerfield. He tags first, second, third, and finally slides into home with a dropkick to BMT! THAT’S more like it. Cloudy beans Dasher though, so they go at it. Dasher gets hit with a dropkick which sends him out. He goes to dive…but BMT hits a crappy Pounce to stop him. Hydra tags in, and he wants to go sumo-style with BMT, who ask him if he needs a hug. He makes a Maury Povich reference and no one gives a crap. Hydra shoulder tackles him and gets the Hydralock. Delaney blind tags and breaks the submission. They go thru a lot of reversals and Colin finally hits a lariat to a seated Hydra. Lince Dorado leaps in for some reason and hits Hydra with the Lynxsault for 3! Hydra is eliminated and the crowd is super pissed. Can’t say I blame them. Colin locks in the STF and Lince immediately taps. Dorado is eliminated, and the crowd cheers this. Bad booking here, but what could you do with Dorado injured? How ‘bout Colin just preys on Lince and taps him quick to get him heat and Lince sympathy without Dorado beating the most over face in the match? Yeah, might’ve been better. Dasher comes in and is blindsided by BMT, who works him over with some dropkicks. He makes a Justin Timberlake reference, and once again the crowd cares precisely none. BMT and Colin work together for a wishbone. Dasher finally gets free with a nasty slap to the face on Brendon, who sells it like a complete moron. I want him dead in the most sadistic way possible: having to watch How I Met You Mother for eternity. Cloudy is tagged…uh, actually he isn’t. Dasher stays in and misses a leg drop. Colin gets the tag and comes back in to kick the crap out of Hatfield. Dasher finally hits two basement dropkicks and gets the freakin’ tag. He cleans house, of course. Delaney does a gnarly backrake on Cloudy, but the little guy comes back with the tilt-a-whirl DDT that he has to hit every single match. He goes up top…but BMT cuts him off. Dasher heads up to meet him, nailing his signature Grand Slam for the pinfall. Cloudy is eliminated by a face, leaving him against two heels. The crowd is really upset by this, as they should be. So far, this is the worst booked match I’ve ever seen in Chikara. RKO from Colin to Dasher! Colin takes days to pin, so Dasher kicks out. BMT hits a top rope elbow drop, but Dasher kicks out again. Colin and Brendon try a double team move, but it fails and Dasher turns a sunset flip into the Chikara Special! BMT taps out! Brendon Michael Thomas is eliminated and the world is just and tasty once more! Dasher immediately takes out Delaney with clotheslines and a NASTY wind up punch to the jaw! Dasher goes to the top rope, but Colin meets him there with a dropkick. Dasher ends up on the apron, where he blocks a Colin shoulder and hits a crazy stiff blind mule kick! DOES COLIN OWE DASHER MONEY?! Dasher with a roll up! 1…2…Colin kicks out. Chikara Special…is blocked by Delaney. ORTON PUNT FROM COLIN! 1…2…Dasher finds the will to kick out! Colin avoids a roll-up and hits a Twist of Fate! He heads up…oh, no way…SWANTON BOMB! 1…2…NO! Dasher kicks out again! Hatfield blocks a Dreamer DDT attempt and sets Colin up for the Grand Slam once again…but Colin turns it into an Avalanche Flipping Square Driver. Three Count. Colin Delaney heads to the finals and the crowd is depressed. So am I. Most of the rating comes from the ending stretch, which was great, outside of the truly dumb ending. Why not an Owen Driver or a Crossface…a nasty move that also had WWE significance?
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Overall – 5 / 10

It was not good at all the first time I saw this. It was worse on the second watch for this review. I may actually be giving the show too much credit with a five, but I feel that it serves to warn well enough. Some shows are great. Some are good. Others aren’t half bad. This one, I feel, is exactly half bad. Hernandez/Lee, Colony/2.0, and maybe Chimaera/Cloudy were the only pure wrestling matches I could recommend. The Dasher debut was fun, and anytime Frightmare caused physical harm to BMT, I laughed. HARD. But there were an astounding number of booking mistakes here, the only defense of which being that maybe Lince’s injury threw off what could’ve been a good main event. Instead, this show gave us an abundance of logic errors, botched finishes, and just poor matches. I take absolutely no pleasure in knocking Chikara; but if I can truly call myself a fan, I must judge with my head and eyes, and not with my heart. In my heart, almost every Chikara show gets a freaking ten. But I have to review this as I see it. Unless you’re a DVD completist, you wanna see Dasher’s debut, or you find yourself thinking the opposite of myself on most occasions, I recommend you stay away. Stay far away.
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The All-Important M’s

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Match: If you can believe it, it’s Brodie vs. Cheech, the second DVD in a row that these two men were in the best match. I’m not even that a big fan of either. They just showed up, got heat and delivered solid action. On this night, that was easily enough to claim best match of the show.
Move: Yikes. I’d say the Flipping Square Driver from Cloudy, but they kinda blew it up with the finish to the main event. I’m gonna go with the Chikara Special, which tapped out BMT, whom I hate. It made me smile real big, so it gets the nod.
Moment: The debut of Dasher Hatfield. You could just tell that this would be something special, from the softball uppercuts to the amazing theme music. Not only did fans love him, but he was the best part of the main event as well, showing that the gimmick may even make CAW an overall better wrestler in the process. Runner up was Stinky getting pummeled while trying to stuff money into his pocket, which was beyond hilarious.
MVP: The Old Timey King of Swing, of course. On an astoundingly forgettable show, Dasher shined liked a budding star, going 3 for 4 with one hit-by-pitch, a home run and three YLBs. Anyone that figures out what a YLB is gets a hat.
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