More fun with The Undertaker!
-Undertaker (w/Paul Bearer) vs. Big Show (Monday Night Raw)(May 3, 1999)
It’s funny because I was just thinking how this was the exact match I wanted to see as a way of improving this set. Big Show turned babyface for the first time shortly before this, and this was their first meeting. If only it had been their last. This one doesn’t last long though. This was when Big Show was a member of The Union. Not a union. THE Union. Short story is Big Show, Ken Shamrock, Mankind, and Test came together to form a group. They took Tugboat’s toot for the beginning of their theme song and lasted about a month before Vince Russo lost interest. Taker peppers Show with a series of rights before Show tosses him into the corner. More rights from Taker. Taker charges and gets put in a bearhug. Taker gtes out of it, but Show boots him in the face. Clothesline over the top. Paul Bearer gives Taker some ether to pour on his elbowpad. Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler pretend to smell it. Must be a tribute to Bobby Heenan. Taker applies a sleeper with the elbowpad. Show won’t go down, so Taker takes a baseball bat and nails him right in the head. Referee calls for the bell. Why the hell was this even included?
-Winner (s)/Time/Rating: The Undertaker/2:45/DUD
-WWF Heavyweight Championship: Undertaker (w/Paul Bearer) vs. Big Show (Monday Night Raw)(June 7, 1999)
Oh goody. These two again. Difference is Taker has the WWF title, a title he won at Over the Edge a couple weeks earlier. I don’t think I need to mention what else happened on that show. Match starts out exactly the same way as the first one did. Show changes it up by clotheslines Taker and hitting an elbow. Irish whip hard in the corner. Series of boots and chops. Headbutt. Let’s face it. There’s only one significant aspect of this match. Taker goes for a chokeslam. Show grabs the throat. Taker with a flying clothesline. To the outside. Taker with a series of punches. Show rams Taker into the steps off a reversal. Another punch on the outside. Show picks Taker up and has him over his shoulder. Taker sends Show headfirst into the post. Clothesline into the announce table. Taker hits Show with a chair across the back. Taker continues having his way with Show outside the ring. Lots of choking. Into the announce table goes Show. Uppercut and we head back inside. Taker comes off the top, but Show catches him. CHOKESLAM TO HELL!!!! Taker goes through the mat, and the referee has no choice but to ring the bell.
-Winner (s)/Time/Rating: The Big Show/6:50/*
-Big Show chokeslams various Corporate Ministry jobbers. The cool visual justifies the presence of this match on the DVD. Other then that, the match certainly wasn’t great.
-We completely skip the next five years, including the entire Bikertaker era.
-Concrete Crypt Match: The Undertaker vs. The Dudley Boyz (Bubba Ray and D-Von w/Paul Heyman)(WWE Tag Team Champions)(Great American Bash)(June 27, 2004)
This show is singularly the reason I stopped watching WWE for nearly a year. Bradshaw winning the WWE title was the reason, but this match certainly played a small part in my boycott. I have never seen a single match from this Pay-Per-View and would never have considered it if not for this match being on this collection. Undertaker has been in a lot of bad matches and been a part of some dumb concepts. This was the worst. Paul Bearer was in a container that Paul Heyman was in control of. If Taker didn’t listen to what Heyman said, Heyman would dump concrete and pretty much kill Bearer. But remember, WWE never does rape or murder. Cole and Tazz imply the right thing might be Taker laying down, making this one of the stupidest matches I’ve ever heard of. Even the presence of Paul Heyman and his pre-match promo can’t save this. Heyman begins filling the crypt with cement. Dudleys want Taker to join. This was really a main event of a Pay-Per-View? I mean… this is dumber than TNA. Ray says this is the moment he’s been waiting for his entire life. Taker threatens to chokeslam both Dudleys. Heyman says something about this not being the right thing. Dudleys double team. Taker then lays waste and sends them flying outside. Taker spend the next few minutes taking out both members of the tag team champions. By himself. Heyman releases more cement. Boot on D-Von. Bubba pulls Taker groin first into the post. Dudleys work over Taker. Taker DDTs Bubba and fires away at D-Von. Back body drop and a sidewalk slam. Taker goes to the outside and Heyman threatens to pull the lever. Taker takes one more step. Heyman pulls the lever. This is something I expect out of a shitty B movie. Bubba pulls the lever up because he wants to take out The Undertaker. Dudleys resume working over Taker. D-Von puts Taker in some sort of hold. Taker fights back with right hands. Clothesline by D-Von. Bubba tags in. Double team vertical suplex. Elbow by Bubba and he wants Taker to get up. Crowd is silent. Dudleys continue their long boring beatdown. Taker with rights again. Bubba applies a sleeper. Just what this needed. Belly-to-back suplex. Flying clothesline on D-Von. Taker with snake eyes and a big boot. Right hand and a legdrop. Bubba interrupts a cover. Bubba sends Taker in the corner. Taker splashes the champions in each corner. Old school clothesline is hit. Tombstone countered by D-Von. Low blow. 3-D hit. Heyman comes to ringside. Taker sits up and looks right at Heyman. Chokeslam on Bubba. Tombstone on D-Von. 1-2-3! Yes everyone, The Undertaker just beat the WWE tag team champions by himself clean in the ring.
-Winner (s)/Time/Rating: The Undertaker/13:42/FAIL
Hold on folks. We’re not done yet. Heyman wants to finish the job, but a bolt of lightning prevents that. Undertaker does the right thing himself and pulls the lever. So WWE killed Paul Bearer off. A publicly traded company in a business where a lot of young men tend to die did an actual angle where one of its’ characters was killed. This is one of the most appalling things I’ve ever seen from WWE. And no one should ever wonder why I boycotted WWE for over a year.
-Casket Match: The Undertaker vs. Heidenreich (Royal Rumble)(January 20, 2005)
The saddest aspect of this match is this is a welcome relief from the previous match. Back to the formula as Taker gets to dismantle an opponent, and the opponent will very shortly never be seen on WWE television again. Heidenreich has some awful music too. As if the result was in any doubt before, the angle coming into this match was Heidenreich being scared of the casket. Taker grabs his opponent with a headlock and slowly takes him over to the casket. Taker even uses some armdrags, and Heidenrich grabs a headlock. Shoulder tackle. I swear, this is how the match started. Shoulder tackle again. Taker works the leg and even grabs a half crab. Heidenreich flees to outside and tries to go to the back. Heidenreich sends Taker into the casket back first. Back inside where Heidenreich fires a series of punches. Taker grabs a triangle choke in the corner. Someone started watching MMA between GAB 2004 and this show. Triangle choke appears to pass Heidenreich out. Then Gene Snitsky of all people comes out and begins working over The Undertaker. Worst…team…ever. The dastardly heels double team Taker. Casket opens and Kane comes out of it. Whoops. That was different. Kane dismantles both men before he turns his focus on Snitsky since they’re the ones that had an issue on Raw at the time. They brawl in the crowd. Heidenreich tries pushing the casket away. Taker wakes up and beats Heidenreich up , but he is sent into the stairs knee first. Heidenreich sends the casket into Taker. Heidenreich chokes Taker out in the ring, and he dumps him in the casket. Casket won’t shut. Taker with a series of right hands. Leg drop on to the lid. Wow. Taker goes for the chokeslam. Heidenreich counters and hits a modified uranagi. He goes for the cover like an idiot. Into the casket. Taker grabs him by the throat. Exchange of strikes. Taker hits a DDT. Chokeslam. Only one thing left to do. Tombstone piledriver. Taker pushes Heidenreich into the casket and closes the door.
-Winner (s)/Time/Rating: The Undertaker/13:20/**1/4
-The biggest compliment I can pay to this match is this wasn’t horrible. Not exactly Shakespeare either but a solid effort at least.
-Handicap Casket Match: The Undertaker vs. Randy and “Cowboy” Bob Orton (No Mercy)(October 9, 2005)
Orton and Taker had a rivalry that lasted most of 2005. It all started with Taker maintaining his Wrestlemania streak in April. It continued with Orton picking up a huge victory in the rematch at Summerslam. Bob Orton tried running interference multiple times as the rivalry developed. Now it was time for both members of the Orton family to possibly get tossed into a casket in The Undertaker’s patented match. In most cases, a casket match equals the end of a feud. Randy and Bob surround Taker, but they can’t get the advantage to start the match. Taker controls both members of the Orton family with a series of strikes. Bob manages a low blow. Randy primarily does the beating on Taker. Bob does a lot of holding and only provides an occasional shot. Good idea says I. Taker gets control and demands the door be lifted. Orton flees for his life as soon as Taker tries to get him in the casket. Bob Orton goes in, and he moves out as quickly as he possibly can. Orton tosses Taker into the stairs and rams his head into the announce table. Another head first thud into the stairs. Ortons resume their double-teaming of Taker. They try to shift him toward the casket. Taker once again fights the Ortons off. He knocks Bob into the corner. Old school clothesline on Randy. Kick and an uppercut to Bob. Face first goes Randy. Bob tries a punch. Taker drives the shoulder, and we get an attempt at Old School on Bob. Randy crotches him and both father and son get some shots in. They climb to the second rope, and a battle ensues. Bob and Randy actually get a double superplex on Taker. Didn’t see that one coming. Tazz points out Bob Orton was one of the first to do the superplex. Good factoid. They try a suplex into the casket. DDT counter by Taker. He sits up. Bob goes in the casket. Irish whip and snake eyes. Big boot. Bob climbs out of the casket. Set-up for the Tombstone piledriver. Orton does counter, but Taker gets a clothesline anyway. Orton hits his patented sitting backbreaker. Bob is carrying a fire extinguisher around the ring. Randy sends Taker to the outside. Elbow on Bob. Taker catches Randy and rams him back first into the post. Bob tries to come from behind with the extinguisher, but he gets kicked once again. Taker hits Orton with a steel chair into the casket. Another attempt with the extinguisher. Taker does a triangle choke on Bob on the apron. That’s certainly a unique application. Bob ends up in the casket. Taker can’t close the lid. Randy with right hands before resorting to choking. Taker ends up in the casket. All three men are in the casket. Taker sends Randy out and shuts the door on Bob. Orton comes back with a powerslam. As he looks in the casket, he notices his father already inside. Low blow by Taker now. Orton reverses an Irish whip but gets kicked in the face. Dropkick by Orton. Orton hits Taker with a number of punches in the corner and of course gets hit with The Last Ride… eventually. Taker gives the sign. Bob comes out firing with the fire extinguisher as Taker prepares to Tombstone Orton. RKO! That was a nice touch. Bob rolls Taker toward the casket, but he has trouble finishing. Taker grabs him by the throat. Randy hits Taker with the extinguisher into the casket. Taker up. Door closes but Randy Orton and Taker are inside. No bell. Taker goes for a chokeslam on Bob but Randy hits Taker with a chairshot and quickly shuts the casket door
-Winner (s)/Time/Rating: Bob and Randy Orton/19:07/***1/2
-We finally have a three star match on this DVD collection. Pretty incredible we’re nearly six hours into this thing, and this has been the best match thus far. Very creative last few minutes which really elevated this from a ho hum casket match to something well worth seeing.
-Of course, this becomes a cartoon as Randy takes an axe to the casket, and then they set the thing on fire. Well, that’ll just piss him off. Does no one learn from history. Everyone who tries to kill The Undertaker, especially in a casket match, eventually gets theirs.
-The Undertaker vs. Randy Orton (w/Bob Orton) (Armageddon)(December 18, 2005)
Well, Randy did it. He pissed Taker off once and for all. Now, there’s really only one way to settle this rivalry. I think they were going for the same effect as the very first Hell in a Cell with Taker once and for all getting his hands on someone who’s been a thorn in his side. We actually get some wrestling to start, meaning this is probably getting a significant amount of time. Also get a couple sledgehammers to the head emphasizing Orton is stuck in the cage with The Undertaker. Pace picks up with Orton getting a dropkick and backdrop. Taker responds with right hands, and it’s time for a visit outside the ring. Orton heads back in the ring as Taker is about to hit with snake eyes into the cage. They exchange the advantage as each man punches the other… a lot. Taker works over Orton ever so slowly as Orton tries to crawl away. Taker nails Orton right in the head with a chair. Probably not the best plan of action. Orton is bleeding, and Taker delivers another shot to the midsection before hitting him in the skull. Christ. Taker rakes Orton’s head across the cage. Orton is sent into the stairs. Taker has a chain now. Around the neck of Orton it goes. Taker rams Orton into the cage. Taker lifts up the stairs. Orton fights his way back. Fists and kicks get Taker down. Taker kicks the stairs back at Orton. Taker becomes distracted by Bob, and Randy comes out of nowhere with an RKO across the ropes. Good camera work because you didn’t see Orton until the move was being delivered. Orton with a series of strikes and some steel steps to the head. Taker is bleeding. Orton rakes the face just as he had his earlier. Orton chokes Taker with the chain on the ropes. Taker heads back in the ring. Both men aren’t doing so hot. Chair shot by Orton. 1-2-NO! Taker wanders around the outside of the ring. He headbutts Orton and rams the head into the cage again. Blind charge by Taker, but he goes into the cage on his side. Taker recovers and heads back into the ring. He slams Orton on the mat. Off the top and he misses an elbowdrop. Orton gets the table. Set-up. Bob holds Taker by the hair. Randy fires some shots in. Taker rams Bob into the cage multiple times. Bob even starts bleeding. Orton hits a blind charge and gets two. Taker moves the table out of the way. Orton gets an uppercut. Taker comes back with a flying clothesline for two. Old school clothesline. Flatliner by Taker. Snake eyes. Big boot. Legdrop. 1-2-NO! Taker hits a chokeslam. Orton gets his foot on the bottom rope. Running knee to the gut. Another goes awry. Orton uses the chain to hit a low blow. Orton puts Taker on the table. Big splash hits. 1-2-NO! Orton actually cleans up the table in a nice gesture. Punches in the corner. DOES HE NEVER LEARN? Orton manages to get out of the Last Ride. Taker accidentally punches Nick Patrick. Chokeslam attempt leads to an RKO. Charles Robinson goes in and counts two. The door is now open, and Bob Orton is within the confines of the cage. Last Ride. Taker goes for the cover. Bob pulls out the referee and punches Robinson. Taker punches Bob and rams him into the cell a few times. Taker calls for the finish. Orton counters the Tombstone into one of his own. 1-2-NO! Taker sits right up. Orton tries to get him to stay down. Doesn’t work. Bob eats boot. RKO doesn’t work. Taker hits both father and son with the urn. Tombstone on Bob. Tombstone on Randy. 1-2-3. Taker finally puts the Ortons to bed.
-Winner (s)/Time/Rating: The Undertaker/30:28/***
-I actually enjoyed the casket match more. Seemed to have more drama attached to it. Not as big of a fan of this match. I think it went a little too long, and all the referee bumps didn’t help either. An okay match but nothing I’d go out of my way to see.
-Last Man Standing: The Undertaker vs. The Great Khali (w/Daivari)(Smackdown)(August 18, 2006)
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This was like Undertaker’s feud with Giant Gonzalez, almost to the letter. Khali is slightly more athletic and at leat doesn’t wear a goofy outfit . Not a whole lot of wrestling in this match. Just a lot of brawling. Punching, kicking, and choking. Very loud “You can’t wrestle” chants directed at Khali. Couldn’t agree with these fine folks more. After a sequence in the ring that doesn’t exactly set the world on fire, Daivari tries to distract Taker, and both competitors end up by the entranceway. Khali tosses Taker through two tables. Taker… gets up at nine. Well, that wasn’t very plausible. Khali maintains control all the way back into the ring. Series of chops to the head with Taker tied up in the ropes. Taker with punches and a clothesline over the top. Khali sends Taker into the stairs, and then throws them into the ring. Taker whales Khali in the head with the stairs. Daivari brings a chair in but gets punches for his troubles. Taker hits Khali in the head with the chair as he lays on the stairs. Another one and you can see Khali bleeding pretty bad. Taker hits two huge chair shots. Chokeslam. Referee counts to ten. Match over. Thank God.
-Winner (s)/Time/Rating:The Undertaker/13:06(shown)/*
–I know logic dictates a match like this needs to have enough time because of the whole standing thing, but having these two “wrestle” for over 12 minutes has to be someone’s idea of a joke. The one positive is people didn’t have to pay for the match. This was only the main event of an episode of Smackdown. A bad match that could have been so much worse.
Disk 2 Thoughts: The good news is there were a couple matches over three stars finally. The bad news is everything was varied from horrendous to mediocre. Unless every single match on disk three rocks my world, this is going to be an easy thumbs down.
Two things
1) I demand residuals whenever you hand out a FAIL rating.
2) I was at that Khali/Undertaker Smackdown match!