“They Have Arrived!!!”
Eric Bischoff confronts Dixie Carter’s lawyer backstage. Apparently, Bischoff gave Dixie the wrong contract to sign last week. Bischoff says that Dixie’s lawyer is trespassing and forces him to leave the building.
Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff make their way to the ring. Hogan says they realized that it was time to take what was theirs. Dixie didn’t want to do it the easy way so Hogan took everything that he was promised. Bischoff runs through their plan. First, they fooled everyone by having Abyss turn on Hogan. Abyss comes to the ring and yells at those who didn’t believe him when he prophesized that “they” were coming. Bischoff now introduces Jeff Jarrett, who he suddenly sees in a new light. Jarrett says that Dixie Carter took his company away from him and now everybody has to play by their rules. Fortune interrupts, led by Ric Flair. Flair claims that Fortune run TNA and gets into a confrontation with Hogan. It’s all a ruse, as Flair and Hogan start hugging. The new regime and Fortune are allied. Bischoff degrades Dixie for bringing in EV 2.0. Hogan even calls Flair “the best wrestler of all time”. Bischoff finally introduces the new TNA World Champion, Jeff Hardy. Hardy says that popularity means nothing to him and calls Rob Van Dam a politician. Cameras show Sting and Kevin Nash watching a monitor backstage. Bischoff invites them to the ring and they hesitantly agree. Nash says that while he used to only care about money, he’s gained wisdom in his old age. Wisdom turned into compassion and he refuses to join the new regime. Sting talks about his love for TNA and refuses to join as well. Bischoff calls them crazy and says that it’s always about money. Mike Tenay and Taz take a moment to analyze what just happened.
D’Angelo Dinero confronts Nash and Sting backstage. He questions their decision and decides to fight alone. Dixie Carter interrupts and begs Nash and Sting not to leave her. Sting says he tried to warn her and walks away. Hogan and Bischoff enter the scene. Dixie slaps Bischoff and Hogan brings her into his office. Hogan admits that he screwed Dixie out of her company and Bischoff calls her a deer in headlights. It turns out that even security is under Hogan’s control and they escort Dixie out of the office.
Madison Rayne makes her way to the ring with a referee. Last Sunday, she had a plan to win the TNA Knockouts Title. That didn’t happen because her title is around the waist of Tara. Rayne demands that Tara come out and forfeit the title. Tara enters the ring and Rayne reiterates that she signed Tara’s contract to come back to TNA. Tara takes off her belt and we have a match…
Opening Match: TNA Knockouts Title: Tara © vs. Madison Rayne
Tara lays down and Rayne covers to become the new TNA Knockouts Champion at 0:20. What was the point of even giving Tara the title in the first place? This title has become essentially meaningless. Anyone remember the days of Awesome Kong and Gail Kim?
Mickie James comes out after the match. She thinks Rayne is disgraceful and says that she made a mockery of the title. Heck of a point. James takes out Tara with a spin kick and Rayne retreats.
J-Woww enters the Knockout’s locker room and makes friends with the Beautiful People. They start looking for Cookie but accidentally run into Eric Young, who gets way too excited. Orlando Jordan walks out and meets J-Woww. This is a dream come true for me.
Kurt Angle makes his way to the ring. He came to the Impact Zone uninvited tonight. He wants some answers from Hogan and Bischoff and notes that he didn’t get pinned at Bound For Glory. Jeff Jarrett interrupts and demands that Angle keep his promise to retire. He brings up Karen Angle and THIS IS SERIOUS. Angle replies that Jarrett “can have that ****”. Use your imagination but that was tremendous. Angle asks Jarrett how many world title reigns he’s had since Angle joined TNA. Jarrett admits that he sold his soul to the devil to destroy Angle’s career. Angle tries to attack Jarrett but security (Gunner and Murphy) stop him. They handcuff Angle, allowing Jarrett to get in some cheap shots and throw him into a wall. Worried for Angle’s neck, Taz leaves commentary and chases away Jarrett.
Match #2: Samoa Joe vs. Abyss
Joe charges the ring and connects with a flurry of punches in the corner. He adds an enzuigiri followed by a senton. Abyss stops his momentum with a chokeslam and grabs a chair on the floor. Joe catches him with a dive. Abyss hits Joe with the ring bell, drawing a disqualification at 2:16. Purely used for storyline advancement, much like this whole show. ½*
After the match, Abyss continues his attack on Joe. Rob Van Dam comes out to make the save. Joe leaves and it’s clear that he doesn’t trust anybody. RVD calls out Jeff Hardy, wanting answers. Instead, a video is played of Hardy talking about how meaningless friendship is. Eric Bischoff interrupts and books RVD vs. Mr. Anderson as the main event tonight. The winner will earn a title shot against Jeff Hardy at Turning Point.
Match #3: D’Angelo Dinero vs. AJ Styles, Kazarian, Douglas Williams, James Storm, and Robert Roode
How useless does Matt Morgan feel right now? Dinero starts off strong. He cheap shots Ric Flair at ringside but Morgan interferes by connecting with the Carbon Footprint. Fortune beats down Dinero until Styles accidentally pele kicks Kazarian. Beer Money recover with the DWI for the win at 3:29. Nicely executed for what it was but this show is monumentally lacking in quality wrestling. ¾*
Robbie and Cookie make their way to the ring. Robbie apologizes to Jersey Shore, as Impact is taking away their ratings. The crowd chants “boring”. That’s ratings for you. J-Woww and the Beautiful People interrupt. J-Woww and Cookie banter back and forth. Cookie slaps J-Woww and a cat fight ensues. J-Woww and the Beautiful People stand tall.
Match #4: Rob Van Dam vs. Mr. Anderson
The winner will battle Jeff Hardy for the TNA World Title at Turning Point. They exchange strikes and RVD connects with a spin kick. He follows with a monkey flip and catches Anderson with a moonsault off the apron. We’re officially watching Reaction right now. This is annoying. Anderson hits a superplex and takes control. RVD comes back with a superkick and a split-legged moonsault. Anderson responds with a finlay roll but misses a swantan. RVD finds knees on a Five Star Frog Splash. Both men are down. Eric Bischoff comes out and takes the referee away. Jeff Hardy enters the ring and lays out RVD and Anderson with chair shots. Hardy puts the chair over Anderson’s arm and Twist of Fates RVD onto it. I guess this is a no contest around 10:00. These are the kind of finishes we should expect in the coming weeks. In fact, these kind of finishes are the only ones that make sense considering that Hogan, Bischoff, Hardy, Abyss, and Jarrett OWN THE COMPANY in a storyline sense. More on this below. *
Overall: This episode gave us a clear idea of TNA’s new direction. In my opinion, things do not look good. Some of the storyline aspects of Hogan and Bischoff’s takeover are interesting. The whole storyline makes relative sense and this show did a fine job of putting some of the puzzle pieces together. However, the problem is that the new regime, a heel faction, has complete control over TNA. As a result, disqualifications, handicap matches, and no contests may become the norm. I sincerely hope I’m wrong. This was the worst edition of Impact wrestling-wise that I’ve ever seen. I understand that they’re setting up a new direction but the wrestling quality should not peak at one star under any circumstances. I recommend shows based primarily on wrestling quality. I always say “read the recap and you’ll be fine”. That quote applies here more than it ever has.
