“Night Of The Immortals”
Immortal (including Fortune) make their way to the ring. Eric Bischoff talks about their success at Turning Point. He says that Jeff Jarrett put on a mixed martial arts clinic, which is a highly false statement. I guess that’s the point. AJ Styles talks about how Sabu is fired and claims that he will break Stevie Richards’ neck tonight. Jeff Hardy receives his own entrance and introduction. Bischoff introduces another special guest, Hulk Hogan. Hogan claims that when he came to TNA, he needed to have Flair involved. He praises Flair for keeping Immortal together over the past few weeks. Hogan also has a surprise for Hardy. The lights dim and a new TNA World Title is lowered from the ceiling. Hogan puts the old belt into a trash can and gives the new, purple and blue belt to Hardy. D’Angelo Dinero interrupts and stands amongst the crowd. He vows revenge on Bischoff for turning his family against him. Samoa Joe appears in another area of the building. He wants revenge on Jarrett, Murphy, and Gunner. Rob Van Dam shows up near the commentary table. He now trusts EV 2.0 and wants his title back from Hardy. RVD wants his title match tonight. Matt Morgan comes out on the entrance ramp and wants a rematch against Hardy. He also calls Hogan’s integrity into question. Hogan says that he’s going to meet with Bischoff and Flair. They will put a battle plan together for tonight.
After a commercial, the battle plan meeting is happening backstage. Hogan books Joe vs. Gunner and Murphy, RVD vs. Kazarian, and Morgan vs. Beer Money and Douglas Williams. Considering I love handicapped matches, this is incredible! There’s the sarcasm.
Opening Match: Jay Lethal and Taylor Wilde vs. Robbie E. and Cookie
Cookie is pretty reluctant to enter the ring. Robbie attacks Lethal from behind but gets caught with a few chops. Wilde wants to wrestle Cookie but she quickly tags out. Lethal lands a flying crossbody on Robbie and follows with a dropkick. The Shore isolate him until he hits the Lethal Combination on Robbie. Wilde chases Cookie around ringside. Robbie hits Lethal with Cookie’s boot for the win at 5:55. Absolutely despicable. Everyone looked confused and Robbie is one of the least interesting wrestlers that I’ve ever seen, even with his Jersey Shore gimmick. Shouldn’t Wilde be tagging with, you know, the other half of the TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champions and defending the belts? DUD
Team 3D make their way to the ring in order to give their farewell speech. The crowd chants “please don’t go”. Ray puts over the Motor City Machine Guns and says that tag team wrestling in TNA means something. Team 3D thanks the fans. Ray wants to start a rock band and Devon wants to be with his family. OH MY BROTHER…TESTIFY. RAY ATTACKS DEVON!!! I fell for it. I’m not saying that Turning Point should have been their last match, but it would’ve been a great way to go out.
Match #2: Samoa Joe vs. Murphy and Gunner
Murphy and Gunner attack before the bell. Joe hits an overhead suplex on Gunner and catches Murphy with a gamenguiri. Joe hits the Muscle Buster on Murphy for the victory at 1:29. As tough as Murphy and Gunner appear to be, they lost a handicap match in under two minutes. If they ever become a regular team, it’s going to be hard to take them seriously. ¼*
Gunner tries a post-match attack but Joe chokes him out. Jeff Jarrett comes out and hits Joe with a nightstick. Jarrett applies an ankle lock but KURT ANGLE RUNS THROUGH THE CROWD AND MAKES THE SAVE! Angle stares down Jarrett and helps Joe to his feet.
Backstage, Abyss is in the bathroom while Eric Bischoff waits for him. I never thought that I’d type that sentence. D’Angelo Dinero appears and punches Bischoff in the gut. He attacks Abyss in a stall and kidnaps Bischoff.
Match #3: Rob Van Dam vs. Kazarian
If RVD wins, he will receive a title shot against Jeff Hardy. Kazarian attacks early with a dropkick. RVD monkey flips him out of the corner twice. RVD cartwheels into a standing moonsault and connects with a springboard thrust kick. Kazarian lands a flying crossbody but takes out the referee. RVD connects with a spin kick. Ric Flair comes out with a chair. Rhino knocks the chair out of Flair’s hand. Rhino enters the ring AND GORES RVD!! Kazarian covers for the win at 3:27. After Ray turning on Devon earlier, this kind of fell flat. I would be interested in seeing what a Kazarian/RVD match looks like when given more time. ¾*
Tommy Dreamer comes out to confront Rhino. Rhino hits Dreamer with a chair and walks away.
Dinero is yelling at Bischoff backstage. Elsewhere, Hogan commands Abyss to save Bischoff.
Match #4: TNA World Television Title: AJ Styles © vs. Stevie Richards
Why would Styles ever willingly defend his title? Especially against someone from EV 2.0. Richards attacks during Styles’ entrance and sends him into the ring steps. After a commercial, Richards clotheslines Styles to the floor. Back in, Styles lands a springboard moonsault and takes control. Richards comes back with a neckbreaker followed by corner punches. He misses a corner charge. Styles tries a springboard but Richards catches him with a superkick. Styles avoids a powerbomb and nearly breaks Richards’ neck with a Styles Clash to retain his title at 6:27. Not bad but the scary finish detracted a bit. Richards received a chance to look strong and I wouldn’t mind seeing him wrestle some of the more athletic, younger talent on the TNA roster. **
Backstage, Dinero puts Bischoff into a casket. He wheels it down to ringside where Abyss attacks him. They start brawling and Dinero is able to hold his own until Bischoff low blows him. Abyss puts Dinero into the casket and rams it into the stage wall. That did not look dangerous at all.
Match #5: Matt Morgan vs. Douglas Williams, James Storm, and Robert Roode
Fortune attack before the bell. Morgan clotheslines Beer Money. Williams stops a double chokeslam with a chop block. Fortune work over Morgan’s knee as Bischoff joins commentary. Bischoff announces that if Morgan wins, he will receive a rematch against Jeff Hardy. Morgan connects with a discus clothesline on Roode and stages a comeback. He hits a side slam on Williams and a double suplex on Beer Money. Ric Flair climbs onto the apron and Morgan punches him. Williams catches him with a knee strike but gets caught with a fallaway slam. Beer Money leave the match with Flair. Morgan connects with the Carbon Footprint on Williams for the victory at 7:56. Standard handicapped match with a mind-numbing finish. Why would Beer Money voluntarily leave the match? It’s a predictable way to create more dissention with Williams. Morgan made Williams and Beer Money look like goofs and shouldn’t have won this match. *
After the match, Jeff Hardy appears on the screen with a video promo. While Morgan is watching, Hardy appears in person and low blows him. Hardy hits the Twist of Fate and lands the swantan. He holds up the new TNA World Title to end the show.
Overall: Impact was a pretty newsworthy show this week. Ray turned on Devon, Rhino turned on EV 2.0, and Kurt Angle returned. However, I can’t say that I’m excited for the coming weeks. I’m having a hard time believing Immortal’s takeover of TNA. For instance, why is Bischoff putting title shots at risk when he controls the company? Why is AJ Styles willingly defending his title when he doesn’t have to? I understand titles are an important part of any professional wrestling promotion but it just doesn’t make any sense storyline-wise. Dixie Carter or some other authority figure needs to balance the power in TNA. Nothing “must see” this week unless any of the storyline progression interests you.
