Danbury, CT – 9.4.2010
Commentary is provided by Mike Rotch and a rotating cast of others.
We kick things off with a video from this past summer’s Warped Tour where Andrew WK showed his support for ISW. We then got a video montage of many ISW shows set to Andrew WK’s “Never Let Down”. It was a really good video and definitely got me hyped for the show.
The ring announcer is talking up the crowd when “Michael Von Payton” makes his way out. MVP put down Connecticut. He was told by the ISW staff that someone accepted his open challenge. We get the familiar sounds of “Hell” by Disturbed. Gran Akuma emerges, as he has accepted MVP’s open challenge!
Michael Von Payton vs. Gran Akuma
MVP takes Akuma to the mat with a waistlock. MVP takes Akuma over with an armdrag. MVP applies a side headlock and takes Akuma over. Akuma gets two with a pin attempt. He escapes from the headlock and nails MVP with a series of kicks. MVP picks up Akuma with a powerbomb. MVP chokes Akuma on the middle rope and pokes him in the eyes. MVP gives Akuma scoop side slam for two. MVP hits a pump-handle neck breaker across his knee for two. Akuma drops MVP with a brainbuster. Akuma avoids an attack in the corner and knocks MVP down with a missile dropkick. Akuma hits his signature Cheetah swipe for two. MVP retailiates with a cradle neck breaker across his knee. Akuma catches MVP on the top rope and brings him down with the Spider exploder suplex, following up with a moonsault for two. MVP hits a release German suplex. Akuma fires back up, but MVP immediately takes him down with a suplex. He follows up with the Mind Bender (a spin-out uranage slam) for the pin at 7:02. This was a great opening match, and the fans loved Gran Akuma as the mystery opponent. He and MVP had a great back-and-forth match that got the crowd fired up for the rest of the evening. It was essentially what you could hope for in an opening bout. **3/4
Dan Berry vs. Moostafa
Moostafa does a bit of dancing to start. Berry and Moostafa take the fight to the mat where they look for the advantage. Back on their feet, Berry and Moostafa get caught up in a little Kid N’ Play dancing. Berry kicks Moostafa when Moostafa asks for a test of strength. Berry brings Moostafa out to the apron. Moostafa drops him with an STO. In the ring, Berry catches Moostafa with a dropkick as Moostafa comes off the top rope. Berry takes him over with a gut wrench suplex. Moostafa recovers and hits a running yakuza kick for two. Berry counters a clothesline with a release suplex. Berry hits a standing frog splash for two. Berry applies an abdominal stretch and he tweaks Moostafa’s nipple. Moostafa catches Berry with a belly-to-belly suplex into the corner! Berry and Moostafa exchange punches. Moostafa gives Berry a trifecta of kicks to the stomach. Moostafa takes Berry over with a German suplex. Berry grabs the referee so he can kick Moostafa low without notice. Berry tries an inside cradle but only gets two. Berry catches Moostafa on the top rope with a front kick to the face. Moostafa drops Berry with a crazy modified Michinoku Driver off the top for the pin at 8:54. This was another great match that had the crowd going throughout. I’ll give it up to the ISW fans – they easily have the most contagious and funny comments/chants of any fans at shows. They’re inexplicable hatred of Dan Berry added to the contest. Moostafa proved to be more than a goofy gimmick, really holding his own in the bout. **3/4
Glaad Badd comes out, as he to made an open challenge for this show – A “Badd Challenge” if you will. He will be facing Tuck Hanson, known by many as “the people’s student”. He’s been excellent from the little I’ve seen of him, so let’s see how he fares here.
Glaad Badd vs. Tuck Hanson
Hanson applies a waistlock, and Glaad Badd loves it. He wants Hanson to touch his chest or crotch. Badd reverses the waistlock and tries to fondle Hanson. Hanson knocks Badd back, and Badd kisses him. Hanson retreats to a corner, then comes out with a roll-up for two. Hanson rolls into a headscissors takedown. Hanson sends Badd to the floor with an armdrag. Hanson follows out and trades chops with Badd. Badd of course chops Hanson in the anus when the opening presents itself. Hanson throws Badd back into the ring. Badd offers to suck Hanson’s cock and cradle the balls. It turns out to be a rouse, as Badd gives him an uppercut and a scoop slam instead. Badd hits a powerdrive clothesline on the mat before tea bagging Hanson. Badd runs his crotch into Hanson’s anus in the corner. Badd picks up Hanson in his arms while as “Up Where We Belong” by Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warns hits the PA. Badd then slams Hanson right on his face. Hanson comes back with a running knee strike. Hanson catches Badd’s flying asshole attempt with a delayed German suplex. Hanson then hits a back cracker for two. Badd crotches Hanson on the top rope. Badd brings him down with a rope assisted DDT. Badd hits a modified Banzai Drop where his balls land on Hanson’s face for the pin at 8:37. You’d be shocked at how great a match could be with so much gay humor. But here it is – a match with the perfect mix of wrestling and humor. Hanson truly is an underutilized talent in the grand scheme of things and it sucks that he hasn’t gotten a chance elsewhere. Badd is more than just a one trick pony and has a lot to offer inside the ring as well. **3/4 (I swear I’m not getting lazy with the star ratings)
After the match, The Badd Boys and their son Ricky Badd come out to lay in a beating to their gay brother. They lay out a slander ridden promo that’s classic Badd Boys schtick. They even go out and beat up some fans who disagree with their view points! Brad and Chad even go as far to beat up Ricky as well.
Addy Starr vs. Flip
Flip immediately nails Starr with a big boot when she gets in the ring. Flip kicks Starr while she’s down. Starr throws Flip down with a hairmare two times. Flip kicks Starr in the mid-section. Flip charges in with a with a running knee strike. He hits a second and slaps Starr in the face. Starr slaps Flip back on her feet. Starr throws her back down and unloads with fists to her face. Flip snapmares her over and bites her ear. Starr takes him over with a sunset powerbomb. Badd gets a two count off a Northern Lights suplex. Starr pulls up on Flip’s arms while stepping on his hair. Starr hits a German suplex and a running elbow strike for two. Starr hits a step-up enzuigiri. Starr takes him over with a beautiful snap suplex for two. Flip fires up and feels no effect of Starr’s forearm strikes. Flip knocks her down with a hard forearm. Starr drops Flip on his head with a reverse rana! Flip heads to the floor and Starr follows out with a somersault senton off the apron. Back in the ring, Starr comes in with a crossbody. Flip catches her and slams her in the corner. He drops her with an apple piledriver. He tries a one fingered pin, but Starr kicks out at two. Starr and Flip go up top. Starr hits him in the balls and brings him down with a superplex. She follows up with the Starr Fucker for the pin at 8:34. Man, this match packed a big punch for the time given. Flip is ruthless and really solid in his work. I don’t know why Starr isn’t working more places. Why isn’t she in SHIMMER for God’s sake? She’s easily one of the more credible women’s talents on the scene. Mix these two together and you get a great, hard hitting contest. ***
Intermission comes, and out come The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (Giant Tiger, Sexxxy Eddy, and Eddie Kingston). Kingston introduces their group and passes the mix off to Giant Tiger. Tiger seems intoxicated – well, no shit. Tiger wants to bring a man into the ring and make him suck his cock. Eddy and Kingston bring the ring announcer to his knees. Giant Tiger then kicks him and delivers a messed up no-armed pedigree. Tiger then makes out with a random red haired woman ringside. Kingston promises they will take out all of their opponents tonight in the main event. We then see Tiger and the woman about to bang in the bathroom, but Tiger forces them to leave. Since no one will leave him alone, he takes her to the backstage area.
New England Classic
Dasher Hatfield vs. Bastian Snow
Hatfield gets in a wicked pun by saying Snow “has crabs”. Cuz, y’know…he’s a crustacean. Snow rams his spikes on his back into Hatfield’s mid-section. Hatfield takes Snow down with a rear chinlock, but Snow’s horn prevent him from keeping it on. Hatfield is pulling some crabs off of his pubes and stomping on them on the mat. An angry Snow runs at Hatfield, and Hatfield drop toe holds him into the corner. Hatfield ties up Snow’s hands around the corner, then hits a delayed dropkick to Snow for two. Hatfield elbows Snow a couple times in the corner. Hatfield rolls into a pounch to Snow’s mid-section. He hits a back breaker, but Snow’s spikes hurt Hatfield’s knee. Snow drops him with an STO for one. Hatfield grabs the ropes to prevent being put in a Boston Crab. Hatfield slaps Snow and lays in some forearms. Snow reverses a whip and splashes Hatfield back first in the corner. Hatfield monkey flips Snow onto his spine. Hatfield nails Snow in the face with a knee lift, but misses an elbow drop. Snow suplexes Hatfield for two. Hatfield ducks a clothesline and backdrops Snow with authority. Hatfield hits a flipping neckbreaker. Hatfield kicks Snow off the apron to the floor. Hatfield rolls Snow back into the ring for a two count. Snow gives Hatfield a California Roll. Hatfield evades a Vader Bomb and gives Snow the Suicide Squeeze for the pin at 10:48. A few botches from Snow here and there, but otherwise a solid contest. Hatfield’s improvement becomes more and more apparent the more I watch him and the sky’s the limit for that guy. **1/4
Pinkie Sanchez vs. Beef Wellington
Wellington reveals he’s wearing a USA t-shirt, and begins beating up Sanchez to the Team America: World Police theme song. He hits double knees and rams Sanchez in the face with his crotch. Sanchez blocks the Ass Punch and superkicks Wellington. Sanchez cranks on Wellington’s arm and drops a knee on it. Sanchez pummels Wellington in the corner and kicks his arm with a running big boot. Sanchez gives his arm a DDT. Wellington tries making a comeback, but Sanchez throws Wellington down by his hurt arm. Wellington calls for a chokeslam. Sanchez hits his arm with a lung blower and a yakuza kick for two. Wellington rakes Sanchez’s face as he heads up top. Sanchez sack taps Wellington to block an Ass Punch. Wellington avoids a middle rope bulldog and finally gives Sanchez the Ass Punch. Sanchez Flair’s over the ropes and goes up top. Wellington catches him on the way down with a dropkick. Wellington calls for the Obama Driver. He struggles with Sanchez, and then hits the Donkey Punch. He finally hits the Obama Driver for the pin at 6:17. This was as ridiculous and as it sounds. This was the best match psychologically wise so far and a crazy fun too. **1/2
We’re treated to a fantastic music video of the back story of our main event, set to the instrumental version of Eminem’s “Sing For The Moment”. The voiceover guy did a fantastic job explaining the storyline and hyping up the match.
’87 Kentucky Gangbang Steel Cage Warfare Match
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (Giant Tiger, Sexxxy Eddy, & Eddie Kingston) vs. Player Uno, Twiggy, & Hallowicked
This is under War Games rules, with a new participant entering every 90 seconds. The League won the coin toss, meaning they will get a new member in the match first. Sexxy Eddy (in a thong) and Twiggy start the match. Eddy takes the early lead, yet Twiggy prevents himself from being thrown into the steel cage. Eddy finally gets the wherewithal to whip Twiggy back first into the steel cage. Twigy boots Eddy and walks up in the cage into a bulldog. Eddy bites Twiggy’s hand to prevent being thrown into the cage. Twiggy takes control when Eddie Kingston hits the ring. Kingston ruthlessly throws Twiggy into each side of the cage. Kingston fish hooks Twiggy’s mouth. Kington and Eddy wishbone Twiggy’s legs. Kingston slingshots Twiggy into the side of the ring. Uno comes into the match with a steel chair, which he throws at Kingston’s face. Uno throws Kingston face first into the cage and grates his face into it. Uno knees the chair into Kingston’s face as Giant Tiger enters to Ke$ha’s “Tik Tok”. He’s wearing a pink singlet with the stomach cut out and is piss drunk. Kingston takes Twiggy over with a uranage slam and Tiger rubs his crotch into Uno’s face. Twiggy and Uno get thrown into the cage once more. Finally, the final participant in the match, Hallowicked, enters the fray. He comes in and hammers Kingston in the corner. Hallowicked throws Kingston and Tiger into the cage. Kingston leaves the cage and brings a second chair into the mix. Uno forearms it into Kingston’s face, and Kingston throws it at Uno’s face. Kingston sets up the chairs so that they’re facing each other. Kingston suplexes Uno onto both chairs. Tiger goes for a pin and gets two. Kingston looks for a frog splash onto Hallowicked on the chairs, but Hallowicked moves and Kingston lands stomach first onto them. Twiggy superkicks Kingston and gets taken down by Tiger. Tiger throws him into the cage while Kingston jabs Hallowicked and Uno with a chair. Kingston basement dropkicks a chair into Uno’s face. Eddy works over Hallowicked’s leg. Hallowicked gives all three members of the League individual scissor kicks. Why doesn’t he do that more often? Everyone except Uno and Tiger brawl out of the ring. Eddy and Kingston suplex Twiggy three times into the side of the cage. Tiger drops Uno with a no-armed pedigree on a steel chair. Uno miraculously kicks out at two. Tiger chokes Uno in the corner. Twiggy and Hallowicked re-enter the ring and volley Tiger with punches. Kingston and Eddy finally come back in to even the sides. Tiger goes to the top of the cage and hits a somersault senton onto everyone else in the ring! Once recovered, Twiggy drops Kingston with a tilt-a-whirl DDT. Tiger hits Twiggy with a pedigree and Uno breaks the pin. Uno nails a Falcon Punch, and Eddy drops him with a Rydeen Bomb. Hallowicked gives Eddy the Go Too Sleepy Hollow. Kingston knocks Hallowicked down with a lariat. Uno ducks a Backfist and hits Kingston with a Falcon Punch. He does it again. Tiger rakes Uno’s eyes while Kingston, Eddy, and Hallowicked go to the floor. Twiggy goes to the top of the cage and dives onto them with the Stage Dive. Tiger and Uno are once again alone in the rig. Uno hits a Flacon Punch a sit-out reverse piledriver for the pin at 22:54. This was a heck of a match. This was mayhem between six men rolled into one great package. The emotion of the match came across really well and led to a great main event for ISW’s fifth year triumph. All six men came to play and put on a fantastic cage match. ***1/2
Overall: If you’ve heard me complain about professional wrestling over the past few months, two of my biggest complaints are that wrestling has lost some of it’s “fun” and that wrestling has become stagnant. ISW’s “Exact Change Only” suffers from none of these criticisms. ISW is like one big party in which wrestling happens to be taking place. The atmosphere is like nothing else you’ve seen. This show flawlessly executed a blending of pro wrestling along with comedic and bizarre overtone. Part of me feels like an asshole for even putting star ratings on the matches, because really, that is NOT the point of ISW whatsoever. That’s not to say this show didn’t have good matches either. Most everything on this show was at or near the three star level, and most everything met or exceeded my expectations. The main event was a great pay off to a year long feud and was filled with energy and amusing moments. “Exact Change Only” is easily one of the most fun shows I have watched in awhile and I certainly recommend you folks give it a try. You can either stream the show at ISW’s On Demand website, or purchase the DVD at Smart Mark Video.
my name is Rikki Badcliff you prick.
Hi and thanks for taking the time to explain the terminlogy for the novices!