WWE: Capitol Punishment Review

Sunday, June 19th in Washington, D.C. Your commentators are Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, and Booker T.

Opening Match: United States Title: Kofi Kingston © vs. Dolph Ziggler
Vickie Guerrero accompanies Ziggler to the ring. These two have to be friends in real life; they’ve wrestled each other approximately thirty times in the past year. Kofi connects with a dropkick and monkey flips Ziggler across the ring. Ziggler avoids an early Trouble in Paradise attempt and hits a facebuster. He takes control until Kofi fights out of a sleeper hold and lands a flying crossbody. Kofi hits his boom drop and follows with the SOS for a nearfall. He connects with a double stomp and both men are down. They battle up top and Kofi lands a flying crossbody. Ziggler locks in a sleeper hold but Kofi quickly escapes. They avoid each other’s finishers. Vickie attacks Kofi behind the referee’s back and Ziggler applies another sleeper hold to become the new United States Champion at 11:03. These two definitely brought energy to this opener and have developed solid chemistry with each other in the ring. The crowd was becoming more receptive to the action down the stretch and watching them show familiarity with each other’s offense was entertaining. Unfortunately, the lame finish took the wind out of everyone’s sails and held back what could have been a worthwhile opener. **½

Match #2: The Miz vs. Alex Riley
They start brawling before the opening bell. Miz finds an opening with a boot and hits a DDT. Riley tries to mount a comeback but he misses a charge and collides with the ringpost. Miz maintains control while commentary talks about how green Riley is. Miz hits an inverted DDT and connects with a corner lariat. He comes off the top with a double axe handle but misses a basement dropkick. Riley hits a spear followed by a spinebuster. The action goes to the floor where Riley attacks Michael Cole. Miz grabs his briefcase but the referee takes it away. Riley hits an implant DDT for the win at 10:15. It’s not a good sign when a grudge match such as this one can’t last ten minutes without going into the bag of tricks (assaulting Cole to pop the crowd). Someone obviously sees something in Riley, so we’ll see where he goes from here. **

Match #3: Alberto Del Rio vs. The Big Show
Big Show attacks Del Rio during his entrance. He throws Del Rio into the barricade. Mark Henry appears out of nowhere and throws Big Show over the announce table. Henry slams Big Show through the Spanish announce table. Henry also slams his left leg into the remnants of the table. Big Show eventually makes his way into the ring and his match with Del Rio officially begins. Del Rio starts targeting the left leg. Big Show answers with a chokeslam and shakes off a cross armbreaker attempt. Del Rio dropkicks the injured left leg and applies a leg submission. Big Show is able to reach the bottom rope. However, Big Show cannot get to his feet and the referee decides to stop the match, giving Del Rio the victory at 10:01. Del Rio would have looked ten times better if Big Show would have just tapped out. However, WWE seems to be on this kick where they want to showcase a more realistic style, so we get a referee stoppage instead. I’m not sure how much this match helped Del Rio, as the interference from Henry early on was unquestionably a deciding factor. ½*

Match #4: Intercontinental Title: Wade Barrett © vs. Ezekiel Jackson
Barrett insults the crowd on his way to the ring. They trade control to start until Barrett connects with a corner yakuza kick. He hits a swinging side slam followed by a pumphandle slam. Jackson dodges another corner yakuza kick but falls victim to Wasteland. Jackson responds with four scoop slams and applies a torture rack to become the new Intercontinental Champion at 6:39. This match wasn’t pretty, but I’m hoping that Barrett can move on to bigger and better things. *

Jerry Lawler interviews Jackson after the match. He says that this is the greatest day of his life. Well, okay then. Tonight, he established his independence from Barrett and the Corre. In his life, the most important things are liberty and the personification of domination. I have no idea what that means.

Match #5: Rey Mysterio vs. CM Punk
Punk manages to contain Mysterio in the opening minutes. He catches Mysterio on a seated senton attempt and sends him into the barricade. Back in, Punk hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and takes control. Mysterio hurricanranas him to the floor and follows out with an asai moonsault. Mysterio connects with a diving headbutt in the ring and lands a springboard crossbody. They exchange counters and Punk gets caught by a knockout kick. They battle up top and Punk hits a superplex. He connects with a running knee strike but misses a charge and collides with the ringpost. Mysterio hits the 619 around the ringpost but finds knees on a top rope splash. He hurricanranas out of a Go 2 Sleep attempt for a nearfall. Punk connects with a knockout kick of his own for a two count. Punk catches Mysterio on a 619 attempt and hits the Go 2 Sleep for the win at 15:00. These two managed to mix things up from their previous encounters and delivered a fresh, exciting match. There’s a lot of emphasis being put on Punk and he came out of this contest looking great. He consistently had an answer for Mysterio’s offense and they were able to generate some believable nearfalls down the stretch thanks to their familiarity with each other. These two should be commended for pumping some life into what has been a dull show thus far. ***¼

Match #6: World Heavyweight Title: Randy Orton © vs. Christian
Orton finds success with a thesz press and reigns down punches. He swats away a missile dropkick but gets sent to the floor. Christian connects with a baseball slide but whiffs on a plancha attempt. Orton gets sent into the ring steps and Christian takes over in the ring. Commentary notices that Orton might still be feeling the effects of his recent concussion. He back drops Christian and pounds away with forearm strikes. Orton hits a powerslam and a belly to belly suplex. He follows with a superplex and both men are down. They trade punches and Orton hits a modified neckbreaker. Christian avoids an RKO but falls victim to a rope-assisted DDT. Christian counters an RKO with an inverted DDT and hits a spear for a close two count. Orton answers with an RKO out of nowhere to retain his title at 14:03. However, Christian’s foot was under the bottom rope during the pin attempt. He tries to argue his case but Orton lays him out with a belt shot. The fact of the matter is that Christian’s foot was blatantly under the bottom rope and I absolutely hate the controversial finish here. Does anyone remember on the 5/2 RAW when Miz won the WWE Title from John Cena, yet the referee was able to reverse his decision afterwards and award Cena the win via disqualification? WWE sets these precedents and never follows through with any consistency. This was a major step down from their match at Over the Limit. However, I can only assume that Orton is still recovering from his concussion and the finish definitely didn’t help matters. Still, both men tried their best and produced a worthwhile match. ***

Match #7: Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne
The Bella Twins and Keith Stone are at ringside for whatever reason. On commentary, Jerry Lawler asks Michael Cole what he did for Father’s Day, so you can imagine how much they care about this match. Bourne snaps off a hurricanrana and connects with a dropkick. Swagger responds with a gutbuster and continues to target the midsection. He takes control until Bourne snaps off a hurricanrana and blocks a vader bomb. Swagger responds with a boot but Bourne spikes him with an impressive tornado DDT. Bourne connects with a few kicks and sneaks in a quick rollup for the victory at 7:17. With only seven minutes to work with and a dead crowd, these two didn’t have much going for them. Even commentary seemed disinterested, with Lawler too busy making jokes about Father’s Day. With more time, I could see these two having a quality match. **¼

A fake Barack Obama comes out. He makes some dumb jokes that Lawler has to fake laugh at. Booker T grabs a microphone and invites Obama to the ring. Booker says that Obama has made history. However, he questions whether or not Obama can do a spinaroonie. Booker gives a spinaroonie tutorial and Obama follows with a spinaroonie of his own. I could explain to you why this segment was a horrible idea, but I’m sure you already know.

Match #8: WWE Title: John Cena © vs. R-Truth
Truth shakes free of an early STF attempt and takes time to regroup. Cena hits a bulldog and Truth regroups once again. Truth hits a gourdbuster and dances into a leg drop. He takes control as the match ploddingly moves along. Cena avoids a leg drop and hits a side slam. He follows with the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Truth escapes the Attitude Adjustment and hits a chinbreaker. Cena locks in the STF but Truth quickly reaches the bottom rope. Truth connects with a scissors kick. Cena rolls through a crossbody but falls victim to a flatliner. The action goes to the outside where Truth steals a kid’s hat. The kid throws his drink into Truth’s face and Cena hits the Attitude Adjustment in the ring to retain his title at 14:44. Truth has been a great character recently but this match did him no favors. The first ten minutes of this main event went by at a snail’s pace and the action really wasn’t benefiting anyone. To be honest, I’m not sure where Truth goes from here. The finish, as silly as it was, actually provided some decent closure and I guess that counts for something. This was just an underwhelming main event to end a below average show. **

Overall: I’m not trying to be a bad guy here, but there is absolutely no way that I can recommend ordering the replay of Capitol Punishment. I know I’m critical but I also know that WWE wants you to pay $45 for this show. The event got off to a slow start and while Punk/Mysterio and Orton/Christian came through, both pairings have had better matches elsewhere. The segment with the fake Barack Obama was horrific and the main event ended the night on a bad note. Fortunately, last year’s Money in the Bank pay per view was a success so hopefully WWE can give us something memorable next month. For now, I would highly recommend that you avoid Capitol Punishment.