Chikara- I’ll be a Mummy’s Uncle DVD Review

-Taped from Rahway, New Jersey

-Your hosts are of course members of the Chikara roster and staff

-Tim Donst is walking around New Jersey trying to get people to sign a petition in order to get his cup back from Hallowicked. We then see him outside the Rec center getting signatures as well.  With so many guys, this would have been a complete failure. Tim Donst makes it work. The best part is when he tells a young child Santa is watching. We see the petition, and there’s a lot of the same handwriting. A kid in a Wicked mask shouts in Donst’s face.  HE SIGNS THE PETITION!

-Ophidian now has a staff to talk to, in addition to his masks. The staff is some sort of catalyst, and another transformation is teased.

Match in Five Words or Less: Poor Mantis

Match Highlights: Mantis gives Ophidian a chance to give him back his staff. Ophidian declines and attacks Mantis just as the bell rings. Mantis is quickly sent to the floor and then into the ring post hard. Chop. Ophidian becomes distracted by a fan in an Amasis mask to lose the advantage. Mantis slams him into the rail. Choking in the ring. Hard chop. Stomach claw in the corner. Mantis bucklebombs him. Chinbreaker doesn’t hit all the way. He kicks him away. Back and chest rake. Trio of stomps. Kicks to the chest. Full nelson slam by Mantis. He drags Ophidian up. Ophidian hits a version of the pele kick. Running knees. Double knees off the top. Shirt comes off. Ophidian goes under the ring for Mantis’s staff. Mantis kicks him in the midsection and grabs his staff. Job Barber takes it away. Mist in the eyes leads to a small package and the victory for the little viper.

He hits a running kick after the match and grabs the death clutch.

Match Analysis: The emphasis was clearly on the issue moreso than having a quality wrestling match. You get the impression this is the first in a series of matches (In fact, they’re meeting at the second Chikara iPPV), so it’s tough to evaluate this match. It was good while it lasted however.

Winner (s)/Time/Match Rating/Entertainment Rating: Ophidian/5:15/**/**

Match in Five Words or Less: Oooooo…. Angry Mask

Match Highlights: Immediate chop in the corner. Saturyne gets a satellite headscissors. Leg lariat misses. Kobald hits a spear. Spirited start I’d say. Chops and a knee drop. Stomach claw. This move is really making a comeback in this promotion. Into the corner for another chop. Running shoulder tackles. Whip across. Boot by Saturyne. She cartwheels. Another spear from Kobald. Cover for two. He tries kissing her and gets slapped. Crucifix bomb into the pin and a two count. Knee to the gut by Kobald. He tosses her face first. He stretches the shoulders. Saturyne flips out. Kobald hits a springboard splash. Saturyne counters out of a back suplex. Kobald ends up on the floor. Saturyne hits a cross body to the floor. Running kneelifts. Running leg lariat in the corner. Bulldog off the quesa dora. Folding press gets two. She goes for a rana and gets dropped on her head. Gutbuster by Kobald. Seated senton off the top gets the win.

Match Analysis: Kobald has gotten a number of chances in singles matches and has managed to win three in a row. Chikara obviously sees something in him or else he wouldn’t be pushed. Not sure I see as much as Kobald but I’m willing to give him a chance if he continues to show improvement. Saturyne is someone I have hopes for because of her athleticism and babyface fire. She’s got a real sympathetic look and body posture. Not much of a match but hey, at least we’re breezing along.

Winner (s)/Time/Match Rating/Entertainment Rating: Kobald/4:38/*1/2/*1/2

-The Bravados are back from Japan and ready for action. They learned strong style from Japan and are ready to brand it as their own.

Match in Five Words or Less: That Was Fast

Match Highlights: This is the Chikara debut for Marshall and Bonza and the return of the Bravados to the United States. Taylor and Icarus were the ones who lost the Campeonatos de Parejas, so this a chance for F.I.S.T to quickly get another chance at the titles. Icarus takes his jacket off despite not being in the match. Bonza and Joel begin with a feeling out process. Tag to Marshall. Joel departs. The new team hip tosses Gargano in the ring. Taylor dropkicks them and Gargano low bridges them out. Harlem gets an O’Connor roll. Taylor tossed. Wil low bridges him. Gargano knees out of a suplex, rolls him up, and kicks him in the face. Sliding dropkick goes nowhere. To the other side and he gets kicked by Wil. Dropkick by Joel. Marshall powerslams Joel. Harlem with chops. Clotheslines by Marshall. No sell by Harlem. Shoulder tackles by Marshall on both F.I.S.T members. Lariat by Lance. Series of clotheslines. One more big lariat gets two. Double team  elbow by the Bravados. Dropkick by Harlem and a two count. Into the corner and a double team by the new guys. Marshall gets a powerslam. Harlem exits. Maximos work over Bonza. Alabama Slam. German suplex but Marshall breaks the count. Short clothesline on Wil. Enziguri. Flying clothesline. F.I.S.T prevents the double Spanish fly. Marshall hits a sunset bomb but gets pulled out by Taylor. Roll-up and a handful of tights on Wil gets F.I.S.T the first elimination at 7:09.

Short clothesline by Bonza. Back elbow and a vertical suplex. Atomic drop. Running kneelift on Gargano. German suplex gets a nearfall. Harlem catches the foot and hits a boot. Fisherman’s suplex. Series of strikes. Small package by Harlem gets two. Marshall gets booted off the apron. Double team roll of the dice. F.I.S.T tosses the Bravados out of the ring and cover Bonza to pick up the second fall at 8:45.

Chaos between the Bravados and F.I.S.T. Brawl extends to the floor. Superman spear in the ring. Lance prevents a dive on Gargano. Taylor hits a dropkick back in the ring. Laurinitis crusher by Harlem after Lance tosses Taylor in the air. Taylor blocks his partner from being suplexed. Enziguri by Taylor into a neckbreaker by Gargano. Elbows by Harlem. Boot by Taylor. Backslide by Harlem gets two. Around for an enziguri. German suplex by Lance. Icarus runs in the ring. Harlem boots him. Why wasn’t that a disqualification? Dive by Harlem. Firemen’s carry. Soul Food into a superkick into a DDT into a Hurts Doughnut and F.I.S.T gets three points at 11:31.

Match Analysis: You can really see how much Harlem and Lance improved in just this match alone. It wasn’t long, but their ending segment with F.I.S.T was a clear highlight of the show so far. The other teams felt like filler, and the match never really felt important until it was down to two teams. Really hope to see the Bravados more in Chikara as they fit in very well. Perhaps a title match down the road?

Winner (s)/Time/Match Rating/Entertainment Rating: F.I.S.T/11:31/**1/4/**

Match in Five Words or Less: Best Gimmick Ever

Match Highlights: Archie, without prompting, has changed his gimmick once again. You’ve got to give him a ton of credit for evolving his character and changing. This is a tremendous modern gimmick that fits in with Chikara. Archie goes after Angelosetti right away with ground and pound. Bryce Remsburg has to tear him out of the corner and threaten him with disqualification. Angelosetti won’t bump fists. Leg kick and Archie hurts himself on the pads. Leg sweep misses. Guillotine by Archie. Crowd is deeply into this one and wants Angelosetti to tap. This hold lasts forever. Angelosetti won’t give up. Remsburg tires himself out asking for a submission. He falls asleep.  Dasher Hatfield, also at ringside, also falls asleep because this hold has been on forever. Archie breaks the hold and looks around. He checks Remsburg’s hand. He wakes up on the third try. Dropkick by Angelosetti. Dropkick. Archie says it’s the end of the round and wants Angelosetti to go to his corner. Dasher is also outraged. He goes to the rulebook and points out there are no rounds. Remsburg tosses Dasher. They kick metaphorical dirt at each other. Angelosetti shoves Archie down hard and puts his foot right across Archie’s back. Bodyslam. Archie counters into an ankle lock due to Angelosetti’s cockiness. Back suplex but Archie gets dropped on his face instead. Frog splash misses. Archie calls for his finish. He comes down and then reapplies the guillotine choke. Angelosetti lifts him up and tosses him down front first. Veronica comes down to make cute with Angelosetti. Archie snaps and goes crazy in the corner. Fists and stomps. Remsburg calls for the disqualification.

Archie cuts a post-match promo, UFC style. Awesome.

Match Analysis: The middle portion of the match wasn’t exactly exciting and the finish wasn’t great, but if there was ever something that deserved to be parodied, it’s MMA. If there was ever a company that could do it, it’s Chikara. The wrestler? Archibald Peck. This has to be considered one of the best new gimmicks of 2012. I’m very interested to see where this goes. In fact, this angle might be the one I’m most interested in as far as Chikara goes.

Winner (s)/Time/Match Rating/Entertainment Rating: Mark Angelosetti/10:26/**1/2/***1/2

Match in Five Words or Less: A Dark Place

Match Highlights: Although not as dramatic a transformation as Archie from an aesthetic perspective, Donst has certainly evolved a great deal in the last year or so. Donst steps on Jigsaw’s foot and mocks Hallowicked. Jigsaw stomps on Donst’s foot in response. Takedown by Donst. He gets rolled over and sent outside by Jigsaw. Shot to the chest in the corner. Up and over out of the corner by Jigsaw. Armdrag. Quick dropkick and Donst powders. Sliding dropkick misses. Donst sends Jigsaw into the rail and hits a tope suicida. Elbow to the back of the beck. Choke in the corner. He rips at the mask and applies a purple nurple. Backbreaker while Jigsaw is on the apron. Chop by Jigsaw. Shot to the midsection and chop. Donst responds in kind. Jigsaw sent down hard on his back. He rakes his elbow across the mask and brings Jigsaw over on his back. Go 2 Sleepy Hollow blocked. O’Connor roll fails. Jigsaw hits a German suplex. Low bridge by Donst. Double axehandle to the back and another elbow. Snap suplex on the floor. Jigsaw dropped throat first across the rail. Jigsaw places Donst on the apron and chops him. Tope suicida into the front row. Both men crawl back in the ring. Chop exchange. Michinoku driver by Jigsaw gets two. Kick in the corner. Whip across. Back elbow and an enziguri. STDonst. 1-2-NO! Double chops. Jigsaw bounced off. Bulldog. Superkick by Jigsaw. Brainbuster. 1-2-NO! Dropkick off the top rope again gets two. Jigsaw pulls a lace away from Donst, perhaps the same one Donst has used to win matches in the past. Swinging neckbreaker by Donst gets a long two count. Donst pie faces Jigsaw. Another swinging neckbreaker gets two. Donst gets into it with Jon Barber. Kick to the back of the head. Jig ‘n’Tonic. Donst rolls through. Superkick by Jigsaw. Double stomp misses. Back elbow. Donst catches Jigsaw in a German suplex for two. Jigsaw placed on the top rope. Release throw. Not sure what was up there. 1-2-NO! Donst places Jigsaw on his back and slowly climbs. Brainbuster off the top rope finally gets Jigsaw the victory.

Match Analysis: Jigsaw has been on a pretty dramatic losing streak recently, so it was a bit surprising to see him pick up the victory here. I think the idea was to have Donst be so consumed with Hallowicked that he can’t even focus on the match at hand. Overall, this was a strong contest and the best match of the night to this point. These are two of my favorite performers in the promotion, and they received an opportunity to show why in this contest.

Winner (s)/Time/Match Rating/Entertainment Rating: Jigsaw/13:49/***1/4/***1/2

Match in Five Words or Less: Welcome Back?

Match Highlights: Dragonfly is one of the earliest Chikara school graduates, in fact a Gen-1 student. Dropkick and a nice pair of armdrags into an armbar. Poke to the eyes by Hammermeier. European uppercut. Snapmare and an elbow to the back. Choking. Jumping enziguri by Dragonfly. Chop in the corner. Cross body but Hammermeier rolls over for two. Dragonfly gets a backslide for two. Hammermeier puts his feet on the ropes in a roll-up to get the victory.

Match Analysis: Not much to this. Hammermeier is another guy who’s been losing, so it’s curious as to why he would get a win. I have a feeling I know what’s going to happen to Dragonfly… and it’s not going to be pretty.

Winner (s)/Time/Match Rating/Entertainment Rating: Jakob Hammermeier/2:14/*/*

-Iron is happy he finally gets his one-on-one match with Gran Akuma. He feels overlooked since Icarus is going to be the guest timekeeper for the match.

Match in Five Words or Less: Chain Of Hate

Match Highlights: Iron slaps Akuma instead of shaking his hand. Takedown and a series of right hands. Series of clotheslines. Shoulder tackles by Iron. Strikes. Whip across but a charge misses. Enziguri and twisting kick hits. Knee strikes while in the cravat. Kick to the spine and a stretch plum. Neckbreaker. Headscissors. Another clothesline. Forearms. Lungblower by Iron leads to a two count. Into the corner. Whip by Akuma. Iron hits a rana. Springboard back elbow. Leg kicks. Iron can’t quite slide through. Release German suplex by Akuma. 2K1 bomb. 1-2-NO! Iron whipped. Back elbow. Powerslam by Akuma. Into the firemen’s carry. Jon Barber is taken out. Death valley driver hits. Icarus runs into the ring with a chain. Punch to Akuma’s face. He tells Iron to cover. Iron is hesitant. Icarus lays him out with the chain. Bryce Remsburg runs out to take control. He chooses not to call the match a no-contest and counts instead. Forearm exchange. Kicks from Akuma. Knee strike. Gimp slaps. Akuma drives Iron’s body into his knees. Trio of powerbombs, the last one sitting, and a victory.

Iron shoves Akuma away after the match.

Match Analysis: Another short match in a series of them. Easy to watch. Tough to rate. I liked the work they did while it lasted, but I’m not sure what it ultimately means for this angle. I wonder if Iron and Akuma will form some sort of alliance against F.I.S.T.

Winner (s)/Time/Match Rating/Entertainment Rating: Gran Akuma/6:47/**/**

Match in Five Words or Less: This Feud Must Continue

Match Highlights: Kodama leaves the ring but comes back in right away. Quick snapmare and a series of kicks to the back by Del Rey. Kodama sent each of the four corners head first. Kicks to the chest. Choking. Snap suplex. It should be noted Kobald and Obaryion are at ringside. Del Rey sends Kodama’s head into the mat a number of times. Kick to the chest. Armbar. She stretches Kodama’s arm and shoulders. Kodama tied up between the top and middle rope. Kicks by Del Rey. Kobald distracts Remsburg. Obaryion switches with his partner. Kodama comes from behind with a dropkick. Choking while Del Rey is in the corner. He tosses her under the middle rope. The other Batiri members take advantage of the situation. Backbreaker and Kodama holds it. Elbows from Del Rey. Kodama whipped in the corner. Kobald pushes Kodama out of the corner as Del Rey misses the rolling combo kick. Shots to the back by Kodama. Dropkick in the back. Waistlock. Obaryion comes on the apron. Del Rey tosses Kodama into his partner. German suplex. High kick followed by the axe kick. Yakuza kick but Kobald is now on the apron. Del Rey runs after him. Kodama lifts her up. Running combo kick. Royal Butterfly but Kobald is on the apron. Del Rey looks annoyed and boots him down. Kobald hits a spinebuster out of the firemen’s carry. After a two count, he looks extremely unhappy. Small package by Del Rey gets a quick three count. Obaryion takes her out and rams her into the ring post. The Batiri departs.

Match Analysis: I’m assuming that the posting after the match will lead to this feud having to continue. Look, I understand the need to have these folks needing something to do, but I’m not how either side id benefitting from this feud. This was an okay match but like so much else on this card, didn’t really get a chance to develop.

Winner (s)/Time/Match Rating/Entertainment Rating: Sara Del Rey/7:53/**1/4/**1/2

-Eddie Kingston and The Colony vs. Gekido

Match in Five Words or Less: This Feud Must Continue…Redux

Match Highlights: Guess how this match starts. If you didn’t say a giant brawl, you’re a fool. Soldier and combatANT stay in the ring briefly. Eventually, everyone goes back and forth on the outside. Poor Bryce is left in the ring alone. Soldier hits a saluting headbutt on assailANT. Snapmare into an immediate Chikara Special. Forearms as assailANT gets out of the hold. Back elbow. assailANT hits a clothesline off the apron on Kingston. Forearm exchange between combatANT and Green Ant back in the ring. Green Ant goes to work on Shard in the ring. Whip across. Shard lifts him up and over. Enziguri blocked. Dropkick by Green Ant. Saluting headbutt doesn’t quite connect. Headbutt by Green Ant on assailANT. He slingshots him back in the ring. Shots to the midsection into a kick by combatANT. Series of strikes and to the mask they go for the second time. Knee strike and a snap suplex by combatANT. Heat segment continues. Fire Ant hits a cross body. He goes for something on 17 but gets caught in a powerbomb by Shard. Running low dropkick by 17. Now , the heat is on Fire Ant. Hot tag to Kingston who elbows everyone. Overhead throws for everyone. Tope suicida on the two Swarm members. Antapault. Shard and 17 send Green Ant out of the ring and focus on Kingston. T-Bone on 17 out of the corner. Uranagi on Shard as well. 17 chop blocks Kingston. Double team on Soldier. They go for the mask. Soldier strikes away on both of them. Samoan drop on 17. Up and over into the atomic drop. Fire Ant hits a dropkick. assailANT prevents a Chikara special. Everyone exchanges moves. Kingston favors his knee. 17 rakes the eyes and applies Lightning Lock:Beta. Green Ant hits a dropkick. Chinbreaker. Green Ant hits a Michinoku driver. Enziguri by Shard and a superkick. Fire Ant hits a swinging DDT. assailANT hits a shoulderbreaker. TKO on assailANT. Instead of going for the win, he goes for the mask. combatANT hits a saluting forearm. TKO of his own ends the match.

Match Analysis: This was a good match, not a great one. I like the chaos, but this angle really needs explanation fast because otherwise this is going to feel like BDKLite. The wrestling was good, but the finish was a bit nowhere and a little bit too easy for the rudos.

Winner (s)/Time/Match Rating/Entertainment Rating: Gekido/15:49/***/***

The Verdict: This was a relatively breezy show to watch. Nothing too notable but nothing offensive either. Thumbs in the middle for this show.

For more information in CHIKARA Pro, including tickets and event information, please check their website. While you can purchase DVDs there as well, you can also purchase their DVDs on Smart Mark Video. Something relatively new to Smart Mark Video is video downloads. This is a great way to save on shipping and not have a DVD clogging your shelf (if that’s what you’re concerned about). It’s super easy to purchase and then download on your computer. I could not recommend this service strongly enough whether you’re buying CHIKARA or many other promotions.

To get a great sense of history and participate in discussion of the company, check out their official messageboard. One thing the promotion does really well? Videos. They have frequent (almost daily) updates on their YouTube channel.

As someone who is not nearly the CHIKARA fan as certain others, even I need to look up information and have a good CHIKARA resource. I can can think of no better place to do this and also read exclusive reviews of every CHIKARA show in history than at The CHIKARA Special. Kevin Ford maintains this little blog and also updates a CHIKARA Special Tumblr with news and videos nearly every day.

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