This Week In WWE TV – August 6-12, 2012

This week: Shawn Michaels manages to dodge a bullet in San Antonio, by somehow not getting beat up in his hometown. Meanwhile, AW bites the bullet for his joke telling. He’s like Kobe Bryant at the Olympics, he’s had his last match, but at least he went out on top. Plus, WWE and Sheamus help promote the joys of car theft and another rough week in the life of Daniel Bryan.

RAW SUPERSHOW

– AJ came out and announced Big Show versus Orton and Bryan versus Cena for tonight. Punk cut her off, wanting to apologise to AJ for disrespecting her, because he knew what that felt like. She accepted and Punk pressed his luck, wanting his triple threat match at Summerslam cancelled but AJ refused. Punk told her not to be the evil GM who stuck it to the person everybody likes. People booed Punk for calling himself that. Cena came out and got the duelling chants. Cena said the triple threat was Punk’s fault, because he got involved in the #1 contenders match last week. Punk said Cena stuck his nose into his “expert analysis” first and said he wouldn’t be disrespected by anyone. They argued back and forth until Big Show showed up. AJ called a stop to things before they got physical though. Punk pointed out he didn’t have a match and deserved to be in the main event. AJ gave him a match, against either Miz, Kane or Rey and the match would be next.

– CM Punk d. Rey Mysterio in 6:40. Rey got 47% of the vote. That was roughly 53% too few, but nevermind. Rey posted his shoulder early and Punk took control, until Rey dropkicked him off the top rope and hit a seated senton off the apron. Punk regained the upper hand with a superplex. Rey was able to escape the GTS and hit the 619. But Punk got his knees up to block the splash and won with GTS. Not their best match, but it’s hard to complain.

– Alberto and Ricardo showed up at the arena in a Ferrari. He had his own parking spot for the car backstage.

– There was a video package for Wade Barrett. Basically, he went back to his bare knuckle fighting roots to ‘reignite the flame’ and he’ll presumably be back soon.

– Alberto showed up in AJ’s office and complimented her on the job she was doing, unlike Booker. He said she understood that he shouldn’t have to compete until Summerslam. AJ said she hadn’t scheduled him for a match and Alberto was relieved, remarking to Ricardo that he thought she would do something crazy. AJ overheard this and put Alberto in a match, next. Alberto sent Ricardo to get his gear from the car.

– Alberto Del Rio d. Christian by submission in 3:06. Alberto was still finishing getting ready on his way to the ring. He went after Christian’s arm and after surviving a flurry from Christian, countered a spear with a superkick. Christian countered the cross armbreaker into the Killswitch, but Alberto escaped and a Ricardo distraction lead to Del Rio hitting Christian with his boot. He then finished Christian with the cross armbreaker. After the match, Sheamus appeared on the titantron and revealed Ricardo had left the keys in Alberto’s car. So Sheamus hopped in and took the car on a “sightseeing” tour. Aka, he stole it.

– Big Show and Randy Orton ended in a double count out in 5:42. Orton looked strong at first, but was soon overwhelmed. Orton fought back and set up the RKO but got Chokeslammed instead for a near fall. After fighting outside, Orton escaped a second one. Then they just went back outside and both got counted out after a Big Show spear. Crowd didn’t like that. Orton hit the RKO afterwards anyway.

– Two On One Handicap Match: Ryback d. Curt Hawkins and Tyler Reks in 2:50. Ryback did an inset promo, which was basically the same as his one from Smackdown last week. Hawkins and Reks had some success, but it didn’t matter in the end. Ryback gave Hawkins a back drop outside onto Reks and beat Hawkins with his finisher. The crowd chanted along with Feed Me More.

– Primo and Epico d. The Primetime Players (Epico pinned Young) in 4:30. In his intro AW said he was still the leader of All World whether we liked it or not. Famous last words. The PTP focused on Primo. Poor AW was noticably quiet here. Epico made a comeback, forcing the PTP to bail. Kofi and Truth came out to prevent them from leaving and Epico hit a distracted Young with the Backstabber.

– Josh interviewed Damien Sandow. He said he was obligated to rid the WWE of foolishness and he was going to start with Brodus. They were then scheduled for a match, but it never got started thanks to Sandow clipping Brodus’s leg during his entrance. Sandow stomped his leg against the ramp and left him laying.

– Bryan spoke to AJ backstage. Bryan claimed he was calm now, since after he beat Cena tonight, AJ would be forced to change the Summerslam match to a fourway. AJ told him he already had a Summerslam match. Against Kane. They got in a war of NOs and YESs before Bryan stormed off.

– Kelly Kelly d. Eve Torres in 3:04. Eve blocked the stinkface and tried to leave, but Kelly prevented it. Eve took over briefly, before Kelly won with a hurricanrana.

– Since the show was in San Antonio, Shawn Michaels was there as a special guest. Shawn talked about his Raw 1000 appearance and not wanting to miss coming to San Antonio. He said everybody was talking about HHH and Lesnar at Summerslam and how they wanted his opinion. But before he could give it, Lesnar and Heyman interrupted. Heyman put over Shawn and even they would seek out their opinion, but not for this match. He said Lesnar wasn’t going to be an entertainer at Summerslam like Shawn, he was showing up to fight HHH. Shawn said Brock had gone somewhere he shouldn’t have gone with HHH and in his opinion, HHH would win at Summerslam. And he belived it so much, he’d be in HHH’s corner at Summerslam. Heyman said Shawn left on his own terms, but Brock wouldn’t give HHH that option. Lesnar claimed the only reason Shawn thought HHH could beat him was because he’d never been in the ring with him. Until now. HHH came out as Brock began to stalk Shawn. But Lesnar left without a fight, saying he’d see HHH at Summerslam and he’d see Shawn before then.

– They showed a Tout Sheamus had sent, from the Alamo, in Alberto’s car.

– Alex Riley d. Dolph Ziggler in 4:18. Jericho did commentary, in a Ziggler t-shirt. Ziggler kept diverting his attention to Jericho during the match. Eventually it cost him, as Jericho decided to distract Ziggler by filming him on his phone, which allowed Riley to surprise Ziggler with a rollup.

– Sheamus sent another Tout. He was eating Mexican food and spilled it in the car.

– Kane d. The Miz in 3:49. Miz attacked Kane’s knee and held his own, but lost clean to the Chokeslam.

– Striker interviewed Bryan. Or tried to. Bryan said he didn’t want anybody chanting YES anymore, which of course lead to a YES chant. Bryan tried to drown them out with NOs, which failed. So he stormed off.

– Sheamus returned with Del Rio’s car in rough state. Del Rio wasn’t happy when he found it. He told Ricardo to clean it up.

– John Cena d. Daniel Bryan in 10:55. This was a first time ever singles match, that one Velocity match aside. Plenty of duelling chants for Cena and YES chants too. Bryan struggled early, but managed to dropkick Cena off the apron and follow with the flying knee to take over. Cena eventually made his comeback but Bryan countered the AA into a front choke. Bryan couldn’t put Cena away and got madder and madder. Cena caught him in the STF but Bryan turned it into the NO Lock. But Cena escaped and deadlifted Bryan into an AA for the pin. His celebration was interrupted by Punk, who had a staredown with Cena until Big Show ran out. Punk broke up an AA attempt from Cena and told King via headset he let people walk over him but now Raw was ending with him standing tall. But Big Show blocked a roundhouse kick and knocked Punk out, followed by a KO punch for Cena as well. Big Show ended the show holding Punk’s WWE Title.

NXT

– NXT Championship Gold Rush Tournament, Quarter Final: Michael McGillicutty d. Justin Gabriel in 8:06. Gabriel outwrestled McGillicutty to begin with, but McGillicutty was able to take over during the break. Gabriel made a comeback, but McGillicutty rolled away from the 450. McGillicutty got a near fall with a Perfect Plex, before avoiding a springboard moonsault and winning with the swinging neckbreaker.

– Kassius Ohno d. CJ Parker in 4:33. Parker had success early, forcing Ohno to regroup. But he was soon on top. A brutal boot to the face and a rolling elbow to the back of the head eventually won it for Ohno.

– After their upset win last week, Briley Pierce interviewed Jason Jordan and Mike Dalton. They were excited about beating Smackdown superstars and confirmed they were a regular team now.

– A weird Ascension video played, hyping them for a match next week.

– Tamina Snuka and Paige d. Kaitlyn and Caylee Turner (Paige pinned Caylee) in 6:22. Caylee is Alicia Fox’s sister. Kaitlyn and Caylee seemed to have some problems getting along. This was pretty disjointed until Paige beat Caylee with a small package.

– Derrick Bateman ran into Bo Dallas warming up backstage. He congratulated him on qualifying for the tournament, despite costing them a tag match a few weeks ago. Bateman mentioned he didn’t qualify despite his years of NXT service. Bo asked if they were cool and Bateman seemed to be and wished him luck.

– NXT Championship Gold Rush Tournament, Quarter Final: Jinder Mahal d. Bo Dallas by submission in 8:25. Jinder worked over Bo for most of the match. Bo eventually fought back, but Jinder clotheslined Bo with the top rope and won with the 80s camel clutch. The finish looked good. Problem is, it took 8 minutes to get there.

SUPERSTARS

– Tyson Kidd and Justin Gabriel d. Curt Hawkins and Tyler Reks (Kidd pinned Reks) in 8:46. Kidd and Gabriel worked together well, until Hawkins caught Kidd with a pele kick to knock him off the apron after a Reks distraction. They isolated Kidd, preventing a tag. Kidd gave Hawkins a sunset powerbomb off the ropes and made the tag to Gabriel. Gabriel missed the moonsault and Reks almost won with a faceplant. Advantage swung back and forth before Kidd took out Hawkins with a kick of his own and Gabriel assisted a Kidd springboard elbow to get the win. Strong match.

– Santino Marella d. Michael McGillicutty in 8:10. Crowd were into Santino. He treated them to some cartwheels, to which McGillicutty tried to respond with one of his own. Santino also did some “Olympic” power walking. After having his troubles with the US Champion, McGillicutty eventually sucker punched him and took control. But Santino made a Santino comeback and won with the Cobra.

– Tensai d. Zack Ryder in 5:17. Tensai dominated for nearly all of the match. Sakamoto even got a cheap shot in. Ryder got a brief flurry late on but Tensai hit a buckle bomb, the choke bomb and a senton.

SMACKDOWN

– Booker came out at the start of the show. For some reason he was in a tuxedo. He did a Spinaroonie, tux and all. Booker said it was good to be back in Houston, but he had a problem. He called Sheamus out to apologise to Del Rio. Sheamus didn’t seem all that sorry, but he did apologise. Alberto stormed out and said he’d filed a report with the police. Booker pointed out if he did that, he wouldn’t be facing Sheamus at Summerslam. He said he didn’t care and told Booker to do something about it himself, because it reflected badly on him. Sheamus challenged Del Rio to face him tonight instead of Summerslam and Del Rio accepted.

– Sin Cara d. Cody Rhodes in 3:46. Cody cut a promo before the match, saying he was no stranger to wearing a mask and said Sin Cara was only wearing a mask because he was ugly and without it, there was nothing special about him. Cody went after the mask repeatedly during the match. It eventually cost him, as Sin Cara caught him in a pin while Cody was going after the mask.

– Daniel Bryan came out, still freaking out and yelling NO at people. He said he was more than just a catchphrase and he deserved to be in the WWE Title match at Summerslam. But instead, he was being put in a match with Kane. He asked if he deserved that and the answer was NO. Kane interrupted Bryan’s ranting. AJ came out before anything could happen between them. She said she was Booker’s guest tonight. AJ said they were both gifted athletes. She was nice to Kane and told Bryan she didn’t want the fact he’d never beat Kane one on one to make him angry. And if he really didn’t have anger management problems, prove it, by shaking Kane’s hand. Bryan said NO. AJ insisted, so Bryan offered his hand. AJ winked at Kane as she left and Kane attacked Bryan. Bryan escaped a Chokeslam, but Kane escaped the NO Lock and chased Bryan off through the crowd, which all seemed to amuse AJ.

– Teddy and Booker spoke backstage. Hawkins and Reks showed up and asked for some opportunities. Booker complimented them, but told them they needed to step it up.

– Jinder Mahal d. two opponents in 0:40. Jinder demanded this match, as a message to Ryback. He mimmicked Ryback which looked so goofy and beat one of them with a camel clutch. He then attacked the other and gave them a double camel clutch, until Ryback arrived. Jinder bailed, so Ryback gave the jobbers his finisher. This feud continues!

– Chris Jericho presented the Highlight Reel, with Dolph supposedly as his guest. Vickie interrupted and said Ziggler wasn’t going to appear, she would be speaking on his behalf. Jericho had some fun at Vickie’s expense. She threatened to leave if he insulted her again. Unconcerned, Jericho calmly told her to get the hell out then, but called her back saying he was kidding. Jericho made fun of Dolph losing on Raw. Vickie said Ziggler would prove Jericho couldn’t win the big one anymore at Summerslam. Jericho said Ziggler forced him to revaluate himself and from now on, Y2J was back and he’d prove he hadn’t lost his touch. From behind Ziggler tried to attack. Vickie slapped Jericho, distracting him and letting Ziggler hit the Zig Zag. He then laid Jericho out with a briefcase shot.

– #1 Contendership: Primetime Players d. Primo and Epico by DQ in 1:40. Kofi and Truth did commentary. Things quickly broke down, while AW threw water at Kofi. They went after AW and Titus ended up in the crossfire, leading to the DQ. And that was AW’s final contribution.

– Christian d. Antonio Cesaro in 4:09. Cesaro said “victory” in five languages before the match and said if we didn’t understand, that’s the point. They’re still teasing a future US Title shot for Cesaro. Christian was sent into the steps early. He fought back and things were even at the end. Cesaro used a bridging fallaway slam which looked impressive. Cesaro got a close fall with the pop up uppercut, before Christian escaped the Neutraliser and surprise Cesaro with a Spear. Good stuff while it lasted. Cesaro attacked Christian afterwards after an Aksana distraction. Which hopefully means a rematch.

– Eve met Booker in his office, still hoping for a spot in his administration. He said there was none. Teddy showed up with Kaitlyn, who asked if he needed an assistant. Booker hired her on the spot. Eve wasn’t happy, so Booker put them in a match for the assistant’s job.

– Rey Mysterio d. The Miz in 4:44. Miz got the upper hand quickly and worked Rey over. Rey dropkicked him coming off the top and made a comeback. Finish saw Miz block the 619 and go for the Skull Crushing Finale, but Rey turn it into a cradle to take the win.

– Sheamus and Del Rio for the title was supposedly the main event. But before the match could start, ‘police’ showed up. Del Rio told them to go away so he could get his title match. But once they had Sheamus surrounded he gave them the signal to attack. Sheamus tried to fight them off and got a hold of Del Rio, but Ricardo and Del Rio’s crew swarmed Sheamus. Del Rio had them hold Sheamus while he slapped him and gave him the enziguri in the corner, before getting rid of them and applying the cross armbreaker on Sheamus.