-Taped from Allentown, PA
-Your hosts are of course various members of the Wrestling is roster and staff
-Gavid Loudspeaker has a song for us. This feels awfully familiar, like maybe another promotion has certain shows start in a similar way.
-The Batiri (Kodama and Kobald) vs. Los Ice Creams (Ice Cream Jr. and El Hijo del Ice Cream)
Match in Five Words or Less: Melted Ice Cream
Match Summary: Icarus is in a row all by himself, which is totally within his character. Remsburg has to toss the toilet paper and get order. Hijo won’t lock up with Kobald and strokes his own cone. Headlock by Kobald. Hijo kicks him away. Hijo comes from behind and pinches Kobald in the butt. Kick by Kobald but Hijo cries. From behind with another pinch off the ropes. Kobald bites Hijo in the butt. Hijo exits the ring. A fan lends some hand support. Hijo rubs his butt against the apron. Junior now matches up with Kodama. Boot to the midsection. Headlock. Off the ropes with a shoulder tackle. Leapfrog and hip toss by Junior. Into the monkey flip. Kodama tries landing on his feet but he ends up on the outside. Into the apron head first by Junior. Kodama whipped and he bumps hard into the mats on the wall. That was hilarious. Ice Creams get a couple young children to help whip Kobald. Kobald also bumps against the mats. Tremendous. Junior slams Kobald multiple times. Kodama whipped. Slingshot hip toss sends Kodama on top of Kobald. Cover by Junior gets two. Jawbreaker by Kobald. Knee in the back by Kodama. Batiri go to work. Junior with a roll-up and a fast count after Remsburg becomes annoyed with Kobald. Remsburg offers Gary the official’s shirt. Remsburg grabs the camera. Gary is now the referee. I swear to God. Gary actually mocks Kobald too. Kobald slaps Gary. Out goes the official’s shirt. Hijo puts the official’s shirt on for whatever reason. This match has completely fallen off the hinges. Kobald spears Junior as Remsburg resumes his officiating duties. Kodama with headbutts. More choking. Junior dragged back in the ring. Kodama with an accidental knee to his partner’s back. Hijo in. Taunting stomp to the head. Then comes six back drops in a row. Bodyslam. Junior tells Hijo to move Kobald awfully far away. Junior runs to corner and hits a splash. That was logical. Series of roll-ups by everyone involved in the match. Thrust to the throat by Hijo on Kodama. Butt attack in the corner. Whip. Kodama scares him. Blockbuster by Kodama. Demon’s Toilet and the Batiri win.
Match Analysis: Pretty fun match. Not sure how to rate this but this was a fairly entertaining watch. Ice Creams are always good for a laugh, and this was a solid way to put the Batiri over. In a lot of other companies, this wouldn’t be tolerated. But hey, wrestling is fun.
-Stigma vs. Green Ant
Winner (s)/Time/Rating: The Batiri/14:13/**1/2
Match in Five Words or Less: Muy Frio
Match Summary: Green Ant comes out in a hat, sweater, and scarf because it’s cold inside. Stigma attacks. Forearm and boot to the midsection. Chop. Whip in the corner. Green Ant taken up and over. Enziguri. He slips but still hits the cross body. Dropkick. Fake dive and Green Ant rolls to the middle of the ring. It’s time for a sexy party. Another dive tease. Chop to the back. Chop on Stigma. More chops. Knee to the midsection and forearm by Stigma. Green Ant invites a child to hit Stigma. Ouch. Stigma rips the mask and guillotines him. Reverse DDT back in the ring. Cover for two. Charging forearm. Headbutt by Green Ant. Stigma goes to the mask. Forearm. Leg kicks by Green Ant. Forearm to the neck. Back and forth they go. DDT by Stigma. 1-2-NO! Roll-up by Green Ant. Tilt a whirl backbreaker for two. Stigma uses Green Ant’s own shirt to choke him. Stomp to the head. Elbow to the side of the head. Boot. Whip to the corner. Charge turned into a roll-up. Green Ant ducks a wild swing. Superkick hits. Block and a forearm by Green Ant. Another one. Series of forearms. Reverse whip in the corner. Duck of the charge and a lariat by Green Ant. Dropkick off the middle rope. 1-2-NO! Headbutts. Spinning kick by Stigma gets two. Choking as Green Ant is prone along the ropes. Drop toe hold into the middle rope. Green Ant hits a dropkick. Frog splash. 1-2-NO! Series of kicks. Stigma gets scared. Test of strength and Stigma gives up?
Match Analysis: I guess it doesn’t matter how bad Stigma looks for tapping out to a test of strength, but it’s still a bit odd to see happen in front of you. This was just an okay bout and nothing to really go out of your way to see. Stigma is trying to incorporate some new offense, but I can’t say he’s all that much better than his waning Chikara days. Green Ant continues to impress, and the Wrestling is atmosphere is perfect for him.
Winner (s)/Time/Rating: Green Ant/8:46/**1/4
Oleg the Usurper (w/Sydney Bakabella) vs. Jolly Roger
Match in Five Words or Less: Pirate Versus Viking
Match Summary: Bakabella says he has signed a real king and will be bringing him all around the loop. Bakabella says Oleg will be the greatest of them all! Bakaballa calls a timeout right away and decides to show Oleg a collar and elbow tie-up. He complains about a hair pull to the referee. Roger with a waistlock on Oleg. Oleg breaks that up. Kicks and forearms by Roger. Running splash by Oleg. Head first into the turnbuckle. Elbow and strikes. Off the ropes he goes to get some momentum. Running splash in the corner. Roger tossed to the floor. Roger tossed over the other side but he skins the cat. Boot to the face and a dropkick. Running back elbow. Clothesline misses. Spin kick and Oleg gets caught in the ropes. Right hands. More forearms by Roger. Oleg hits a backbreaker. Ridiculous clubbering blow to the side of the head and Oleg comes away with the win.
Match Analysis: Just a squash to start establishing Oleg in Wrestling is Fun. Roger got a minimal offense in, and it’s obvious who they have plans for based on this match.
Winner (s)/Time/Rating: Oleg the Usurper/4:07/*
-Obaryion vs. Jervis Cottenbelly
Match in Five Words or Less: Not Very Gentlemenly
Match Summary: Cottenbelly offers a handshake. Obaryion slaps it away. Drop toe hold and Obaryion exits the ring. Now an offer to come back into the ring. Obaryion accepts. Somehow I doubt the favor will be returned. Headlock by Obaryion. Cottenbelly counters into one of his own. Obaryion takes him down. Applied headscissors by Cottenbelly and Obaryion escapes. Cottenbelly kicks Obaryion out of the ring. Cottenbelly lets him in the ring a second time. Cottenbelly maintains a hold of the arm. Strike and Obaryion works out of it. Elbow to the head and into the top turnbuckle. Stomps in the corner. Whip across and elbow. Snapmare. Kick to the midsection and clubbering blow. Stomp on the hand. Knee to the midsection by Obaryion. Cottenbelly goes for a suplex but has it countered. Obaryion whips him across. Double boots to a charging Cottenbelly. To the eyes. Cottenbelly rammed in the corner. Snapmare into a chinlock. Double sledges out. Flying back splash. Bodyslam. Cottenbelly climbs to the top and gets into a conversation with Remsburg about the five count. Obaryion with a press slam and elbow drop. Forearms. Stomps to the corner and choking along the bottom turnbuckle. He goes to the mask before settling into a chinlock. Knee to the midsection by Obaryion cuts Cottenbelly off. Suplex blocked with a knee. Kneelift leads to a two count. Obaryion grabs Cottenbelly’s sports jacket. He places the coat on top of Cottenbelly’s body and walks across. Big headbutt misses. Cottenbelly with a series of blows. Dropkick and elbows. European uppercut. Off the ropes. Cottenbelly puts an elbow pad on and drops it. Vertical suplex into the bridge for two. Obaryion tosses him through the middle rope. Cottenbelly expects the ropes to be held for him just as he did earlier. Obaryion follows suit to light applause from the crowd. Cottenbelly wants a handshake. Obaryion does that but quickly attacks and hits a reverse Go 2 Sleep for the win.
Match Analysis: Cute story with Cottenbelly trying to teach Obaryion to be a gentlemen and ultimately failing to the point where it cost him the bout. Entertaining bout with a nice little story. Cottenbelly as an undercard babyface works out perfectly for these various franchises.
Winner (s)/Time/Rating: Obaryion/13:12/**1/2
-Juan Francisco de Coronado (w/Herbert) vs. Lance Steel
Match in Five Words or Less: Wrestling Is Versus Chikara…Again
Match Summary: The theme of this night seems to be old school Chikara versus the newer Wrestling is roster members. Steel hits an armdrag. Hip toss. Chop. de Coronado calls for his man servant to hurt Steel. Chop attempt to the armor of Steel goes very wrong. Herbert sent out of the ring. Armdrag by Coronado. Shoulder block by Steel. Leapfrog. Hip toss. Running dropkick. Steel chases de Coronado around the ring. Inside for a missed leg drop by de Coronado. Charge misses by Steel. de Coronado brings him down and ties his boot while choking his opponent. Very innovative. Bodyslam and an elbow drop on the steel plate. Running dropkick. Back kick, snapmare, and a knee placed in the back. Kick to the back of the head. Right hand. Steel with a roll-up for two. Back elbow by de Coronado. Bottle of water tossed in the ring. de Coronado with a sunset flip for two. Clothesline and another two. Knee to the midsection. Choking on the middle rope. Running charges across the throat. A second time misses and then an enziguri only makes things worse. Clothesline and back elbow by Steel. Back drop. Finlay roll for another two count. Herbert jumps on the apron. Back kick and tiger driver by de Coronado. Two count after taking too much time. Steel takes him down. Boston crab. de Coronado screams like a girl. Kick to the corner. German suplex for two. Series of go behinds. de Coronado with a reverse cloverleaf. Steel has no choice but to tap.
Match Analysis: de Coronado is quickly establishing himself as one of the better members of this roster. He certainly has one of the most advanced skill sets, and I’d love to see him get called up to Chikara some time next year. Good match that served its purpose and showcased de Coronado’s skill set in the ring.
Winner (s)/Time/Rating: Juan Francisco de Coronado/9:26/**1/2
-assailANT vs. Dasher Hatfield
Match in Five Words or Less: A Cold Reception
Match Summary: This is a rematch from last month as assailANT defeated Hatfield. Code of honor is followed. Lock-up and assailANT breaks clean. Feeling out process continues. Snapmare but a baseball dropkick misses. Whip in the corner. Up and over to the apron. assailANT misses three straight times. Hatfield guillotines him and then springboards in with a roll-up. La maestral. Exchange of nearfalls. A remarkable amount of counts ensues. Hatfield brings him through and hits a dropkick. Chop in the corner. Back elbow by assailANT. Takedown by Hatfield. Armdrags. Running elbow. Whip across. assailANT ends up on the top rope. Chop to the back. assailANT hung out to dry. Baseball dropkick by Hatfield. Small package for two. O’Connor roll blocked. Dropkick by assailANT. He kips up. Forearm to the back. Headbutt and a knee placed in the back. Headbutts. Bow and arrow. assailANT stretches Hatfield out. Headbutts by assailANT. Hatfield with right hands. Tilt a whirl backbreaker. Transition but assailANT counters. Backbreaker. Flying headbutt. Hatfield goes to the corner to recover. Whip across and back attack. It misses. Hatfield with double sledges. Shot and uppercut. Gutbuster by Hatfield for two. Jackhammer. 1-2-NO! assailANT placed on the top rope. Hatfield with a chop. Headbutt by assailANT. Elbows by Hatfield. Uranagi by assailANT. 1-2-NO! Crucifix pin for two by Hatfield. assailANT with stomps. Clothesline misses. Out of the back suplex. Suicide Squeeze. Hatfield gets a measure of revenge with a victory.
Match Analysis: Best match on the card so far as these two continue to have good chemistry with each other. assailANT is developing into a solid wrestler and Wrestling is serves Hatfield extremely well. Good match.
Winner (s)/Time/Rating: Dasher Hatfield/12:54/***
-The Devastation Corporation (Max Smashmaster and Blaster McMassive) vs. Spectral Envoy (Hallowicked and Frightmare)
Match in Five Words or Less: Poor Envoy
Match Summary: McMassive takes Wicked into the corner. Power to the other side. Overhead slam by McMassive. Wicked comes back with forearms. Whip across does nothing. Whip reversed by McMassive. Step-up boot blocked into a bucklebomb. Frightmare tries scaring McMassive… that doesn’t work. Smashmaster tosses Frightmare away with ease. Roll through. Frightmare with a leg kick and a dropkick. Smashmaster hits a dropkick. Heat segment on Frightmare… obviously. Frightmare tries to get a sleeper on Smashmaster. McMassive with a powerslam. Clubbering blow to the back. Clothesline on McMassive. Collision and a tag to Wicked. Back and forth on both men. Boot by McMassive. Devastation Sandwich. Smashmaster with a shot on Frightmare. Smashmaster with a side slam. Two count. Sleeper by Frightmare. Wicked boots McMassive. Smashmaster rams Frightmare in the corner. Step-up boot by Wicked. Running boot sends Smashmaster out of the ring. McMassive with a Black Hole Slam. Frightmare to the top rope. Spinning DDT countered. Death Blow. Devastation Corporation win again.
Match Analysis: This was significantly better than the match with 3.0. Wicked and Frightmare did a great job managing this match. I have gained even more respect for Wicked especially after seeing what he was able to do with McMassive and Smashmaster. DC still need a lot of work, but working with the Spectral Envoy can only help in their development.
Winner (s)/Time/Rating: The Devstation Corporation/11:00/**3/4
-Jaka vs. Saturyne
Match in Five Words or Less: Another Savage Victory…Or Not
Match Summary: There are a number of things that could be said about this match, but many of them would be terribly racist. Headscissors and a pair of dropkicks. Thrust to the throat by Jaka. Rana counter for two. Shot to the midsection and belly-to-belly suplex. Headbutts send Saturyne into the corner. Chops but Jaka knocks him back. To the middle rope as Jaka goes to the face. Double sledge to the back. Bearhug. Shot to the ribs and back. Whip in the corner. Saturyne with leg kicks. Chop. Dropkick. Headbutt from Jaka. Chop and raking of the face. Saturyne with boots out of the corner. Flip. Finlay roll by Jaka. Big splash met with knees. Running leg lariat. Jaka misses a clothesline. Block of the shot. Kick. Springboard cross body for two. Leg kicks. Bulldog. Clothesline misses for jaka. Reverse DDT. 1-2-NO! Shots to the throat and a headbutt. Kick to the midsection. Spin kick to the face. 1-2-3?
Match Analysis: Not sure if Jaka should be losing to a relative rookie, more specifically someone smaller than him, like this, but this was a decent match. Jaka has shown himself to have a ton of potential while Saturyne continues to improve her in-ring capabilities. I would have been okay with this even getting more time to develop.
Winner (s)/Time/Rating: Saturyne/5:49/**
-Jaka attacks the security guard dressed like a banana.
-The Banana Championship: Mark Angelosetti (champion) (w/Veronica) vs. Fire Ant (w/Green Ant)
Match in Five Words or Less: A Slight Disappointment
Match Summary: Angelosetti has quite the winning streak going in this promotion, including a big, relatively clean win against Mike Quackenbush. Lock-up goes to the corner. Angelosetti says “It’s good.” Angelosetti waistlock. Fire Ant takedown. Armdrag. To the corner. Angelosetti places him on the top rope. Springboard armdrag by Fire Ant. Open hand chop. Another springboard armdrag. Tope suicida caught. Angelosetti drops Fire Ant down hard on the apron. Angelosetti to the apron and he lands on Veronica’s fingers. There’s some dissension from what’s been happening in Chikara. Springboard shoulder tackle. Knee strikes in the back. Running forearm. Snap suplex. Knee drop. Seated senton to the back. He grabs the antenna. Chops by Fire Ant. Whip reversed by Angelosetti. Knee in the back. Bodyslam. Series of splashes. And then he Tebows. Splash attempt met with knees. Lariat by Angelosetti. Shoulder tackles in the corner. Back flip and one more shoulder tackle. Chops from Fire Ant. Shove by Angelosetti. Whip across. Fire Ant rolls out. Another shove by Angelosetti. Stalling vertical suplex but Veronica won’t watch what Angelosetti is doing. Fire Ant with boots out of the corner. Double boots send Angelosetti down. Enziguri. Duck of the clothesline. Headscissors turned into a DDT. Tope suicida is successful this time. Angelosetti tossed back in the ring. Fire Ant to the top rope. Angelosetti meets him. Suplex to the outside blocked. Angelosetti powers him over for a superplex. Forearm exchange. Angelosetti takes control. Running boot. Angelosetti countered. Stunner followed by Burning Down the House. Veronica heads up on the apron. Angelosetti almost takes her out. Kick to the side of the head. Brainbuster. 1-2-NO! Fire Ant to the top rope. Into the gutbuster. Deadlift into the Flea Flicker and Angelosetti wins again.
Match Analysis: I’m happy we got a clean finish here. In front of a Chikara crowd with something more on the line (sorry potassium), this could have been an excellent four star classic. As is, it was a good match that was about three stars. Fire Ant is highly underrated, and I really hope to see more of him in singles matches this year coming off an injury and the way he’s been wasted by Chikara through most of 2012. Angelosetti continues to hang with the best and excel. Good way to cap off this show.
Winner (s)/Time/Rating: Mark Angelosetti/12:14/***1/4
The Verdict: Minor thumbs up because of the main event and some entertaining shenanigans through the rest of the show.
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