Welcome back everyone. After what was no doubt a weekend of hell for Chris GST, we’re back. Major thanks and props to him for getting us back online. How do we celebrate being back online? By posting an ROH on HDNet review. Okay, I know what you’re thinking. Fear not. A Review of the much hyped Jeff Peterson cup and two huge podcasts covering Gabe Sapolsky related companies are coming up soon. For now, take a deep breath…
-Taped from a place where comp tickets aren’t just expected but a state of mind
-Your hosts are the lonliest men on earth
-Flashback to December 7, 2009 as we see Cornette once again talk about the Pick 6. Then we see highlights of the Pick 6 matches thus far.
-No Disqualification: Joey Ryan (w/Prince Nana and Ernesto Osiris) vs. Necro Butcher
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry. Had to get that out. These guys have been on opposite sides of the worst matches in this television series’ history. Necro controls the early part of the match by grabbing Ryan’s balls, putting a plastic bag over his head, and hitting him with a guardrail. Necro uses a Section A sign next. Ryan gets himself into the match using a chair. Ernesto gets involved and Necro’s knee is just about done. Ryan stalls and hits Necro. Rinse, lather, repeat. Osiris tries interfering again but Necro gets a foot into Ryan’s face. Nana and Osiris commence a beatdown after Ryan throws powder again. Erick Stevens runs out to apparently save Necro, but he turns heel for absolutely no reason with a chairshot right to the head. To further this terrible segment, Grizzly Redwood tries to save his beard brother. Ryan covers Necro and it’s academic
-Winner (s)/Time/Rating: No contest/9:40 (roughly)/FAIL
-This was fucking abysmal in every conceivable way. Lame feud with a lame turn. Don’t care about any of this. I should also point out the crowd respects this segment with complete silence. How polite of them.
-Kenny Omega highlights.
-Tony Kozina vs.
-Before the match begins, we have a Colt Cabana interview where he talks about the Kevin Steen heel turn from Final Battle 2009. He’s actually serious for once. Hey hey, a feud that might actually be interesting.
-Tony Kozina vs. Colt Cabana
I don’t review midget matches, but I’ll make an exception for Kozina. Cabana acts like a goof ball of course. After a serious interview like he just gave, there’s no excuse for still being his usual self. I know this is all taped ahead of time, but this is why you have bookers and writers. They’ve got to make it clear to the wrestlers what the situation is, and how they should be conducting themselves in the ring. Cabana kills some time with an extended squash. Kozina taps to the Billy Goat’s Curse.
-Winner (s)/Time/Rating: Colt Cabana/4:30/1/2*
-Flashback to last week when Kingston got assaulted . He tosses Durden and cuts a passionate promo that’s better than anything you’ll see in any wrestling company anywhere. This saved the show from being totally useless at least. He also thinks the person who attacked him was Hero. I did say last week it wasn’t him. This came before the tapings where we did find out it wasn’t Hero. Who was it? You’ll have to wait a couple weeks to find out.
-Commercial for ROH’s debut in Los Angeles. The match they’re hyping is Jerry Lynn against Kenny King. Yeah, that’ll put asses in the seats.
-Speaking of feuds I don’t care about, Delirious is finishing his next week against Sonjay Dutt in a submissions match. It’s also going to be Tyler Black and Colt Cabana versus Austin Aries and King next week. That might be decent.
-Alex Payne vs. Kevin Steen
This was taped before Steen’s heel turn, so the crowd is still heavily in favor of him. Steen gets a package piledriver. Sharpshooter leads to a Payne tap-out. Payne got way too much offense. The fact that he had any meant he got too much.
-Winner (s)/Time/Rating: Kevin Steen/2:00/1/4*
-Briscoes talk about facing each other next week. That could be a hell of a match if their previous showings are any indication.
-Chris Hero vs. Kenny Omega
I actually watched this a couple days after the rest of the show to get the bad taste of the first 35 minutes out of my system. Omega with an armdrag and a series of high impact moves that climaxes with a dive on to the outside. Shane Hagadorn tries to interfere but Omega plows through. Hero elbows Omega as he tries a dive from the top rope. Flash kick squashes a brief Omega comeback. Another kick from the outside with Omega prone on the apron. Hero mocks Omega, then elbows him. More chops and a big boot. Omega with two Polish hammers and a couple high leg kicks. Elbow in the corner and a crossbody. Backdrop driver by Hero followed another elbow in the corner. He refuses to stop and just elbows him again for two. Small package only gets two for Omega. Rolling elbow by you know who. Omega with a dropkick and dragon suplex. Hero with yet another series of elbows. One is so hard, it sends Omega out of the ring. Hero takes a chair and goes for the elbow with Omega on the chair. After telling him to stop, Omega hits an enziguri. I like Omega as the next guy but the whole “Stop” thing has to go. Omega places Hero on a chair and goes back to the arena. Flying double knees after a running start. Ummm, shouldn’t there be a count-out or something? Dropkick back into the ring and a 2k1 bomb. Croyt’s Wrath attempt but an elbow to the back of the head only gets two. Golden elbow pad thrown into the ring but Omega rolls Hero up and wins. Dug the match a lot. Still, WHY DOES EVERY RING OF HONOR MATCH HAVE TO END IN A ROLL-UP? So tired of that shit.
Winner (s)/Time/Rating: Kenny Omega/15:11/***1/2
Final Thoughts: A good main event and Kingston promo redeems this show somewhat. Still, that opening segment was brutal to watch. The formula for this show is also killing interest for me because after a competitive opener, you know you’re getting two squashes as a follow-up. Oh and a lot of video packages. Thumbs down for this show.
