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Hello Chikara-loving person! Guess what I’ve got for ya? Why, it is results from the season premiere Chikara show A Touch of Class! There was a title change, a big reveal, and the Bruderschaft staked their claim on Chikara in a big way. The results were painstakingly arranged from several people’s reports on the ChikaraFans site and related twitters. You’re welcome. I’ll give you updates on the current roster situation after the premiere show and discuss the fourth trio added to KOT2010. The new trios graphic is tied with the Coco one below as my favorite I’ve done. After all this, I’ll sleep. Sleep is good. Oh, and there’s some stuff about WrestleMania 27 in here too. Why in the Chikara column? Well…I had to talk about it somewhere…
Also, I’ve been meaning to mention this for a while now. I try and make sure that every link I place in this column opens up to a new page. If it doesn’t it only because I missed it. In fact, clicking any image file in here, at least in Firefox and Opera, causes the image to load on top of the article, so you don’t have to deviate from the page. Try it on the UnStable picture, too. It’s just a cool little feature, but it’s also kind of a design flow mechanism I guess. I don’t know what I’m talking about. I think I’m just easily amused.
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Preshow Notes: Really strong attendance; probably around 300. Chikarason’s your new ticket ripper, shoved down the chain of command to the rock bottom. Chikara has two brand new announcers, so apparently Louden Noxious is gone. The first is Gavin Loudspeaker. Hmmm…he looks familiar. The other is actually a new Bruderschaft ring announcer named Jakob Hammermeier who only announces the BDK guys. He’s dressed in a white suit, sports a weird comb-over hairdo, and says the BDK guys’ names in a whiny German voice that supposedly sounds a little French. Awesome.
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1. Grudge Match: Green Ant vs. Pinkie “Pink Ant” Sanchez
Pinkie took off his mask to reveal a bright pink head of hair. Green Ant came out strong, but Pinkie kept up with him. Both guys looked pretty impressive, and the strikes were supposedly really hard. Pinkie heels it up and its awesome, no derrière-based offense. Green Ant comes close to a win with a Texas cloverleaf but Pinkie grabs the ropes. Pinkie gets the win with some crazy Burning Hammer variation that killed Green dead. Good opener.
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2. The Throwbacks & Player Uno vs. The UnStable
Sugar did a “Pants on the Ground” elbow drop. He is…a God. Create-A-Wrestler and Vin Gerard fought to the back, and CAW returned as Ultimo Breakfast! Ultimo leaves and returns as Dasher Hatfield! The crowd goes BANANA~! Dasher pins Colin Delaney after his trademark Grand Slam, an avalanche powerslam.
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3. The Osirian Portal vs. Daizee Haze & Sara Del Rey
The Philly faithful loved The Portal. Haze pins Ophidian after a piledriver by Del Rey and a fantastic Bridging German Suplex. Oh well, what’s a little more disappointment for Philadelphia? Said to be quite good; a bit sloppy, but Death Haze’s most memorable Chikara performance to date.
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4. Hallowicked vs. Brodie Lee
This match was seven shades of stiff. Hallowicked eventually wins after three consecutive Yakuza Kicks and a Rydeen Bomb. Said to be the best match of the night so far. A nice “You have no friends” chant was started for Lee when he lost.
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5. Redwood, Primeau and Ridge vs. The Order of the Neo Solar Temple
Delirious is entirely in The Order’s corner, so it appears that the effects of the Eye of Tyr are holding. Pelle got a nasty beatdown, at one point getting rocked into the barrier. UltraMantis got the win, pinning Andy Ridge after a Praying Mantis Bomb.
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6. Young Lions Cup: Player Dos vs. Tim Donst
Donst comes out a little heavier and wearing horrendous inverted Vökoder gear. Either Donst’s gear has a brown stripe on the butt, or he got something on it when he and Dos went brawling around the ring, so chants of “skidmark” were quite prevalent. Donst becomes the new Young Lions Cup champion, tapping out Player Dos with the Inverted Chikara Special. Crowd was said to be furious over this.
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7. BDK’s 8th Member Revealed: Quack/Jigsaw/Lince/Equinox vs. Claudio/Ares/Tursas/???
The eighth member of the Bruderschaft is………Lince Dorado, as many suspected. I’ll single out Kevin Ford as one of them, but he also said he’d win the Young Lions Cup VI tourney, so technically he’s 1-1 when backing Lince. One interesting clue to it being Lince was on the most recently blog that Jimmy Olsen wrote. There’s a picture in middle with Lince taking a dangerous German suplex on the ring steps from Player Dos. The name of the picture is “Danger Lurks”, a reference to the spot and, perhaps, that Lince was a traitor. That last bit wasn’t from a forum, but rather my brain. Back to the match. Dorado turned on Equinox as Quack and The Future is Now charged the ring. He screamed at Jigsaw that he joined the Bruderschaft because Jig took his team away. Quack, Jigsaw, and Equinox were at a clear disadvantage against the Bruderschaft….but EDDIE KINGSTON came out acting as Team Quack’s fourth man! THE LIGHTNING BREED IS BORN! I have a copyright pending on that name, people. The Bruderschaft apparently had a lot of great double and triple teams. Tursas no sold chops by everyone but parts of his beard flew all over the ring. The match doesn’t end on a happy note though, as Kingston is pinned by Castagnoli via a low blow. Eddie was apparently missing a tooth. Described as an awesome match. This makes the Bruderschaft 4-0 for the night.
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8. Campeonatos de Parejas: The Colony vs. F.I.S.T.
~ Primera Caida: Gran Akuma pins Fire Ant at the twelve minute mark with the Rubik’s Cube to pick up the first fall.
~ Segunda Caida: Match starts to fall apart. Soldier Ant went for a reverse hurricanrana but he landed really badly. Luckily he’s alright. Soldier Ant gets the second fall at the twenty-one minute mark , turning a head scissor into the Chikara Special on Icarus.
~ Terceira Caida: The Colony retain their titles when Fire Ant gets the third fall! Gran Akuma tried to hit him with the Rubik’s Cube again, but this time he rolled through with a prawn hold for the three count. Match was said to be a bit disappointing.
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Overall Thoughts: While the reveal of Lince Dorado being the 8th member of BDK wasn’t exactly a surprise, it is nice to be able to predict something in the abstract wilderness of the Chikaraverse. From the sound of it, this show hit it out of the park. Only one match, the Neo Solar Temple tag, sounds like it could be easily missed. Every other contest has something I really want to see: Pinkie Sanchez in full heel mode, the many transformations of Create-A-Wrestler, Death Haze dismantling The Portal, the brutal-sounding finish to ‘Wicked/Brodie, “skidmark” chants, the Dorado turn, BDK’s wrestling debut, and the main event title match all scream “Buy the DVD, you idiot! Buy it and don’t look back!” I think I will, crazy voice in my head that gets louder as I type. I think I will.
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– After siding with Quack and Friends, Eddie Kingston is now at the bottom of the rudo page, usually an indication that a person will join the tecnico ranks soon. Seriously guys, if The Lightning Breed catches on, I want partial credit. He is no long listed as in The Roughnecks, and neither is Brodie Lee. So that’s officially done with.
– I already posted this in the results, but I thought I’d mention outright that Gavin Loudspeaker and Jakob Hammermeier have been added to “Staff and Crew”. Louden Noxious is “gone” and “has been removed”. You shouldn’t still be confused by this.
– Jigsaw is now the leader of The Future is Now. He has been moved from underneath Quack to just above Equinox and Helios. Also, The Portal are no longer the bottom tecnico tandem, having moved ahead of Cheech & Cloudy on the list. Or perhaps C&C are returning as rudos. Nay, surfing rudos. One shudders at the image.
– Lince Dorado‘s now listed at the bottom of the Bruderschaft section. Duh. Donst got a much better picture, too. Lince Dorado’s
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The trio of Vin Gerard, Colin Delaney, and STIGMA are the latest entries into the 2010 King of Trios. Last year, The UnStable got past The Cold Front and Da Soul Touchaz, making it all the way to the Night 3 semi-finals. There, they were bested by Team Uppercut. This year, they return strong and wiser, ready to stake their claim as Chikara’s premiere heel faction. Also, and this is just for Vin, apply a half-and-half mixture of shampoo and bicarbonate of soda to your hair along with some water. Leave it in there for, like, an hour. Rinse it out, and your hair should be much less greasy. I learned that from a simple search on the internet. I also learned that you can mix bicarbonate of soda into your shampoo and…oh. So then just buy some shampoo; this really isn’t complicated. What? Well what did you spend it on? Pogs!? POGS?!?! Do you know long it’s been since pogs have been popular? Why on Earth would you…ugh, forget it.
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– Please leave any comments or questions you might have and I’ll do my best to respond with as many dirty French phrases as I can conjure. I’d like to do a contest or something cool like that, but I’m not sure how much interest there’d be. Let you voice be heard! Also, let me know if there’s anything you’d like to see in the column, like fantasy booking, treasure hunts, wish-lists, secret handshakes, etc.
– So…WrestleMania 27 is in Atlanta. The Georgia Dome, to be precise. Probably twenty minutes from my new place. *freaks out like a school girl* This’ll be my second ‘Mania, the first being Orlando. That was an incredible weekend: Steen & Generico vs. Speed Muscle, Aries vs. Nigel, Mark Briscoe killing Milo Beasley, Shingo & Hulk tagging, the annual Dragon Gate Six-Man…at that was outside of the WWE’s big event. Taker/Edge, MITB IV, Cena/HHH/Orton, a surprisingly fun match between Big Show and Maywether. And, of course, there’s Michaels vs. Flair. As great as that weekend was, I expect WM27 weekend to be even greater, mostly because I get to share it with good friends and the woman I love. I know it’s over a year away, but I already can’t wait. Hope to see you guys there!
– Next week’s article will have a full look at Chikara’s next shows in February.”The Mint Condition” is Saturday, February 27th in Reading, PA and “A World of Comforting Illusions” is Sunday, February 28th Pottsville, PA. Maybe we’ll get a word from Lince on blog, or perhaps a new trio added to King of Trios. I don’t know what it’ll be because IT HASN’T HAPPENED YET. Which reminds me: Lost returns Tuesday. Have your journal, a quantum physics book, and eight pencils handy. You’ll chew through at least six of them during the two-hour episode. Want more Lost stuff? How ’bout The First Five Minutes of the Premiere? Have a good week, friends.
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