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Chikara DVD Review:
The Mint Condition
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1. BDK (Dorado, Sanchez & Haze) vs. The Colony – **
Pretty good promo by Green Ant before the match, flanked by his ant brethren. Gavin is shoved aside by Jacob Hammermeier, who is already awesome after only two shows, though I still have no clue what the hell he’s yammering on about. Sara Del Rey joins the BDK trio to lend support and totally won’t play a role at all. The Colony charges at the bell, but Daizee Haze stand in front. They don’t wanna hit her, even though she’s a tiny evil witch. Dorado and Pinkie jump the ants, and Fire Ant gets singled out for a beating. The Bruderschaft trio nails a train of strikes on Fire, but he bails when they turn their backs, allowing Soldier Ant to enter and clear house. Things get a bit sloppy, but eventually Soldier gets jumped by the Bruderschaft. Haze and Pinkie work over Soldier’s arm, and Lince hits a standing moonsault for two. Lince does a surfboard stretch and Sanchez comes off with a double stomp. Haze follows it up with a back senton, but once again they turn their backs, this time allowing Green Ant to enter. He disposes of Dorado, but gets caught with a nice dropkick from Pinkie. I’m still really bored…and confused. This is probably the weakest triad the BDK could put together, and they’re manhandling The Colony. The Bruderschaft continue to do all manner of cheap heel tactics to beat on Green Ant. A quebrada from Dorado gets broken up at two by Fire Ant. Sanchez is tagged in, and he does more weaksauce heel shtick. Lince hits an elbow drop for two. The crowd seems really annoyed by all of the working over. Finally, Green Ant hulks up off some headbutts and drills Lince with one of his own. He makes the tag to Fire Ant, who clears the ring with some well-timed violence! The other ants join in for a three-man dropkick in the corner. Once again, Daizee challenges The Colony to fight her. They are reluctant, so she gives one big slap to all three men. They decide they’ve had enough and get her with a double boot, followed by a Green Ant Big Splash! 1…2…Daizee kicks out. Green Ant applies the Cloverleaf and really wrenches back on it! Pinkie breaks up though, and looks for his Burning Hammer. Greenie blocks and the Ants set up for the Ant Hill, but Lince hits a double dropkick on Green & Soldier Ant. Mind Trip from Daizee to Fire Ant! 1…2…Fire Ant kicks out. Green Ant and Lince are left inside, and Dorado nails a nasty Michinoku Driver on Green Ant. He heads to the top, walking past his teammates…who are just standing on the apron not doing a thing…and hits the Shooting Star Press! But for the third time (and the third different Ant) BDK lets one roll away, allowing Soldier Ant to enter. Daizee is in and she slaps Soldier Ant, so he drills her with a Saluting Roaring Elbow! He goes for the TKO, but instead just press slams Daizee out onto Dorado and Green Ant! Pinkie tries a sunset slip, but Soldier Ant turns it to the Chikara Special! FIRE ANT HITS A SPRINGBAORD SENTON TO THE OUTSIDE ON EVERYONE! Pinkie might have to tap, but Sara Del Rey kicks Soldier Ant from behind, causing a disqualification at around fifteen minutes. Because The Colony going over would make them look strong…so…can’t have that. Look, this sucked wind until the last three minutes. We got three heat segments and very little actual heat for any of it. Let it be known: a Pinkie Sanchez, Daizee Haze & Lince Dorado trio is not a good way to go in the future. The Colony looked sharp though, and Green Ant continues to do lots of stuff right, reminding me of another green-clad rook.
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2. Delirious vs. Player Dos – **1/2
UltraMantis cuts a promo beforehand, which just serves to reinforce the idea that Delirious is a super being and that The Order of the Neo Solar Temple will become the tag champs the next night, as they face The Colony for the straps in Pottsville. The bell rings and Delirious does nothing. From the commentation station, Mantis yells something in Latin or French or British and Delirious charges as commanded. Delirious chases Dos around for a while, eventually getting him in the ring. Delirious takes control and then just tosses him back outside. On the floor, Dos and Delirious trade strikes and holds. There not much space to be doing this, so they gotta be careful not to kick some fan in the face. Delirious eventually gets sent back in, where Dos hits a crossbody from the top for two. Delirious fires back with a firemans carry gutbuster and a standing two-handed chokeslam for two, thanks in large part to quite a lazy pin for “The Bizarre One”. Dos tries to regain control with a springboard crossbody, but Delirious counters with a knee to the gut. Delirious wrenches on Dos with an inverted cravate, finally turning it into a neckbreaker for two. Dos hits a suplex on Delirious and follows with a leaping enzuigiri. Both men struggle to their feet, and it’s Dos who regains control. A sitout DDT gets Player Dos a two count. Delirious comes back with a cobra clutch backbreaker for another two. Delirious is looking for the Cobra Stretch, but Dos fights and nails a superkick. Dos looks for the Frog Splash…but Delirious moves. Praying Mantis Bomb from Delirious is turned into a Dos jackknife pin. 1…2…Delirious kicks out. Release Dragon Suplex from Player Dos! Standing B13! 1…2…Delirious kicks out! Mantis claims Delirious is toying with Dos. Riiight. Dos back up top for the Frog Splash, but Delirious once again moves, but this time Dos knows to roll through to his feet. Dos lifts Delirious onto his shoulders, but Delirious slithers out and nails the Praying Mantis Bomb! 1…2…3! Delirious wins to give The Neo Solar Temple some momentum going into the title match. This was a fine match, doing lots of little things right. Both storylines continue, with The Order looking like serious title threats and Dos seemingly sliding further back to permanent tag team status.
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3. F.I.S.T. & The Badd Boyz vs. Osirian Portal & Incoherence – ***1/2
I have high expectations for this. The Badds and Icarus just wander around berating crowd members before the start. Hallowicked and one of the Badds start things off. Hallowicked eats an early lariat and a Russian legsweep, but fires back with a step up hurricanrana. He ducks a strike and catapults Frightmare into Chad with a flying lariat. Gran Akuma enters and is quickly disposed of with a couple clever headscissors. Ophidian and Icarus are in now. Icarus grounds Ophidian with a dropkick, but Ophidian manages to counter a toss outside into a turnbuckle handstand. He evades an Icarus attack, and gets two on a backslide. Icarus slides outside and Ophidian follows with a dive to the outside. Amasis and Brad Badd are the last dance partners to hit the floor. Brad gets the early advantage, but Amasis puts him down with a springboard clothesline. Ophidian thinks the crowd would enjoy seeing Amasis dance. The crowd emphatically agrees. Amasis dances circles around Brad, finishing the sequence with a slap to Brad’s face and a victorious Hammer Dance! Remsburg’s advice on commentary: “Let’s cancel the wrestling and all go dancing.” Amasis challenges Akuma to a dance-off, and the crowd wants this to go down. “Play my song!” Akuma shouts. Lady Gaga blares from the speakers and the crowd goes absolutely BANANA~! Akuma gets ready…sole butt kick to Amasis followed by another devastating kick! The crowd is not pleased by this. F.I.S.T. & The Badds work over Amasis as Bryce speculates on the Amasis/Icarus hatred on commentary. His explanation: “Both names have six letters, start with vowels and end with an “s”, [so] that would be the personal issue here.” The Badds hit some nice double team offense on Amasis, but can’t keep them down. Akuma lays into Amasis with some stiff kicks, but “The Funky Pharaoh” manages to trick Akuma into doing a little dancing and nails a leaping enzuigiri! Hallowicked gets the tag and lays into Brad Badd with chops. Brad tries to return fire, but chops F.I.S.T. by accident instead. Frightmare comes in with a big missile dropkick, but gets cut off by Chad Badd. Chad goes for chops, but he ends up accidentally hitting Icarus & Akuma, too! F.I.S.T. & The Badds seem like they wanna throw down with one another. They settle down, but the Badds get drilled with fling maneuvers from the Portal. They follow up with twin dives to the outside! Frightmare uses Icarus to hit a step up hurricanrana on Akuma, and hits a big slap on Icarus. Frightmare flees and Hallowicked comes in, nailing a step up kick and a top rope Snapmare! 1…2…Chad breaks up the count on Icarus. The Badd hit a double team STO on Hallowicked and an elevated spear on Frightmare. The Portal tries the trance, but Chad breaks it up with a codebreaker. Bryce says that these are trademark moves of 2.0, who used to wrestle in Chikara. I don’t understand what he’s implying. They hit high-and-low lariats on Amasis. Hallowicked hits a Rydeen Bomb on Chad and Frightmare follows with a standing Kneecolepsy! 1…2…Brad breaks it up. Brad goes for a lariat, but Frightmare backflips to dodge it and nails a neckbreaker! Holy Cannoli! F.I.S.T. comes in and hit a tandem powerbomb on Frightmare. Tombstone gutbuster from Akuma! Icarus nails a disgusting EVO! 1…2…Ophidian breaks it up and kicks Icarus to the outside. Akuma hits a big kick on Ophidian and heads north, but Amasis cuts him off. Ophidian flips onto Amasis’s shoulders and they hit the Pyramid Suplex! Ophidian covers. 1…2…Icarus breaks it up. Amasis gets low-bridged and Icarus tosses Ophidian out onto his partner. Icarus prepares to dive onto them both, but Hallowicked cuts him off with a HUGE Yakuza Kick! 1…2…3! Hallowicked pins Icarus and gets the win for his team. After the match, F.I.S.T. and The Badds argue with one another in the backstage area. Another really fun eight-man tag from Chikara. Every team got to show off just exactly what they do best, and the crowd was solidly behind the Technicos the entirety of the match.
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4. Claudio Castagnoli & Ares vs. The Throwbacks – **3/4
Sugar Dunkerton and Dasher Hatfield cut a promo in the back before the match, stating that they don’t care for BDK and that nothing will stop them from getting their third point and a title shot. It’s an absolutely tremendous, quite serious promo from a duo known more for bringing the funny. I get more and more impressed by these guys the more I see them. The Throwbacks try to get an early advantage, but it kinda backfires. Sugar hits a dropkick on Claudio and a drop toe hold on Ares. He and Dasher follow up with sliding guillotines on Ares and a big swinging strike to knock him down. Sugar tags in and starts doing suicide runs, making sure to stomp on Ares as he crosses over him. Claudio puts an end to that with an illegal knee, but Sugar regains control with a trip and a back senton for two. Dasher tags in and his immediately in trouble against Castagnoli, but he hits a springboard headlock takedown to ground Claudio. The Throwbacks hit a union atomic drop followed by a Sugar dropkick with Dasher on all fours behind Claudio to trip him up. They hit a team hip toss and Dasher hits a baseball slide to the face for two. He sets up for the Grand Slam, but it’s far too soon for that, so Claudio counters into a clothesline. Claudio & Ares hit Dasher with a gutbuster followed by a deadlift side suplex for two. Gavin accidentally calls Claudio “Canadian” on commentary, and UltraMantis does not let him get away with that. Dasher ducks a clothesline and dives out onto Claudio in dangerous and sloppy fashion. Sugar gets the lucha tag and hits a DDT to the kneeling Ares. 1…2…Ares kicks out. Dasher goes to the top with Ares on his shoulder, as does Sugar. They’re looking for their Grand Slam Dunk tag team finisher, but Claudio stops Sugar and Ares wiggles free from Hatfield. Both Throwbacks are shoved down and Claudio takes Dasher’s head off with a bicycle kick! 1…2…Dasher kicks out. Claudio looks for the Ricola Bomb, but Sugar takes him off his feet with a missile dropkick. Ares rakes the eyes of Dunkerton and Claudio tosses him down by his hair behind the ref’s back. Kneeling Blue Thunder Bomb from Ares! 1…2…Sugar kicks out. BDK hits a team corner spear on Dunkerton for another two. Sugar fights back, but Claudio grabs his hair, lifts him up by it and slams him down! IT WAS A ‘FRO BOMB! Ares and Castagnoli grab Sugar and repeatedly slam him to the canvas for another two. Sugar manages to low bridge Claudio and hit a desperation enzuigiri on Ares. He leans toward his partner, dives and makes the tag…no! Claudio pulls Dasher off the apron at the last second. Ares nails Sugar in the back with a flying knee and hits a really nasty Toblerone Driver for the three count and BDK’s first point towards a title shot. I never real believed that the Throwbacks would win this, so it suffered at bit for that. The finish was very well done, with the BDK denying Dasher the standard “house of fire” segment.
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5. Young Lions Cup: Tim Donst© vs. Player Uno – ***1/4
Donst cuts another good promo before the match, but it’s a step below his work this year. No one is called on to talk more than Donst though, so it’s understandable. Uno tries to jump Donst before the bell, but he ends up getting jumped. Uno retaliates with big chops and elbows. Donst tells Uno to stop, but gets chopped out of the ring. Uno chases him back inside and he goes to work on the arm and shoulder, setting up his new submission finisher, The Joystick. He switches up from arm wrenches to just beating the crap out of the YLC champ. Uno applies an armlock and someone in the crowd wonders aloud why Donst would shave his armpits. It’s hard to hear, but I believe he says it’s because he likes the smell. Donst eats more elbows before finally taking control by pulling Uno face first into the top turnbuckle. Donst asks who the greatest YLC champ ever is and a chant for Max Boyer erupts. Awesome. Donst works the nipples with a purple nurple and moves to work on Uno’s arm, most likely for the Inverted Chikara Special. Donst kicks Uno to the outside where he continues to work over Uno’s arm. He tries a lariat on Uno (mocking Erick Stevens in the process) but Uno ducks and Donst hits his arm hard on the ringpost. Back inside, Uno hits a running elbow to Donst in the corner. He goes for a second, but Donst catches him from behind with a sleeper. Uno begins to fade and crowd chants for him to stay alive. He makes it back to his feet and hits an armbreaker to breaker the hold. Uno hits a referee-assisted cutthroat mat slam and Donst rolls to the floor once again. This time, Player Uno dives out onto him! Back inside, Uno hits a top rope double axe handle on Donst’s arm and rolls into a la magistral pin for two. Donst calls for the Joystick, but Donst counters into a Victory Roll! 1…2…Uno kicks out. Donst slaps Uno and goes for an Irish whip, but Donst’s arm is too weak, so he’s gotta improvise, hitting a run-behind bulldog and STO for two. Gavin incorrectly calls the STO the Donstitution, and Ultramantis can’t correct him in time. Man, Loudspeaker is off his game. This being his second ever show…I’ll let it slide. Donst complains for a while and heads north, a rarity for Big Tim. Donst tries a Frog Splash ala Player Dos, but comes up empty. Uno slaps on the Hydralock! Donst tries to low blow free, but Uno stops it and hits a DDT. 1…2…Donst kicks out. Uno applies a deep hammerlock and the crowd chants for Donst to tap. He clips Uno’s knee and makes it to the ropes to break the hold. Back on his feet, Donst tries another run-behind move but ends up eating Uno’s fist instead. And another one knocks him down and out! 1…2…Donst kicks out! Uno calls for Game Genie and runs the ropes, but Donst turns it into a one-armed Donstitution! 1…2…Uno kicks out. Donst lifts him up and hits a second Donstitution! 1…2…Uno kicks out once again! Uno screams at his opponent, but Tim Donst nails the SDT! 1…2…3! Tim Donst retains the Young Lions Cup! Donst once again shows he has a bright future in this business, selling like a veteran and doing all of the little things right. Uno was great as well, and there was a lot of heat. Donst as a heel is working like I never expected. Smart, effective match, though the Donstitution is not over in the slightest.
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6. Tursas vs. Eddie Kingston – *1/2
As usual, Eddie cuts a great promo before the match. The contest starts and Kingston immediately charges with a big boot to the giant. He chops and punches, but the brute I unfazed. He goes off the ropes but gets nailed with two big body avalanches. Tursas just bullies Kingston into the corner with strikes, charging for another body avalanche. He’s either slow or methodical. “Slethodical?” Tursas pulls Eddie to his feet and effortlessly lifts Kingston for a standing powerslam. Kingston is rolling around in tremendous pain. Eddie makes his way to his feet and just slaps away at Tursas, rocking the beast. Kingston tries a backdrop suplex, but Tursas turns it into a big release German Suplex! The crowd chants for Eddie, and he dodges a big charge and nails machine guns chops in the corner. Claudio Castagnoli comes out to cheer on his rookie. Kingston dives out onto Castagnoli as soon as he sees him! When Eddie tries to get back in, Tursas distracts the ref, allowing Claudio to trip him up on the apron. Tursas climbs the ropes and obliterates Kingston with a second-rope Big Splash! 1…2…3! Tursas pins Eddie Kingston! The booking here is a little frustrating. I mean, why would Tursas need Claudio’s help if Kingston couldn’t make a dent in him? In the end, Tursas looks a little weaker, Eddie takes a glaring loss and the BDK are once again on top. I should say though that the action that was there was pretty great, though I don’t see how it could have been sustained longer. The match went almost four minutes and it wasn’t a dud, so I have to rate it something.
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7. Main Event: Brodie Lee & The UnStable vs. Mike Quackenbush & The Future is Now – ***1/2
It’s always funny watching Remsburg wrangle Brodie Lee into his corner. It starts as Equinox vs. Gerard, but Jimmy bails and Quack comes in from behind to take care of Vin. Vin tries to call timeout, but those don’t exist in wrestling. Gerard comes back in to face his teacher, and Quack trips him up, allowing Jigsaw to hit a slingshot leg drop. All heck breaks loose and Brodie and Jimmy end up hugging for some reason. Then they hug again. What the **** is going on!? I DEMAND VIOLENCE! Finally Brodie chops Equinox out of the ring. Jigsaw comes in with a missile dropkick and a big hurricanrana from the top, sending him outside. STIGMA comes in, where he and Jigsaw trade strikes. Jigsaw manages a suplex and Quack comes in with a slingshot senton. Quack rolls through a sunset flip, allowing Jigsaw to nit a big crossbody on a seated STIGMA. Delaney comes in and eats a Manhattan drop, followed by a legsweep. Helios comes in, does some stuff, and decides he’s done for now. Jigsaw ends up back in where Brodie says “what’s up?” with a suplex. All of the UnStable decided to take turns beating on Jigsaw. They pose using Jigsaw as a podium of triumph, but Quack doesn’t like what they’ve built, so he dropkicks Colin off of it. Brodie comes back in and lays into Quackenbush’s surgically-repaired back. Colin hits a STIGMA-assisted senton, Gerard hits a STIGMA-assisted leg drop and STIGMA hits a gravity-assisted back senton. 1…2…Quack kicks out. Quack mounts some offense against Colin, but a chinbreaker stops it. Delaney looks for the Swanton Bomb, but Equinox interrupts, allowing Quack to bail. Jimmy comes in and mows down everybody, hittin ga deadlift overbomb on his brother Colin. He sets up for another, but STIGMA clips his surgically-repaired ankle and he crumples. Brodie Lee comes in and shakes Equinox by the ankle like he wants his lunch money. The UnStable beat up on Olsen, targeting that ankle more. Colin and Jimmy trade strikes and hit a double clothesline. Jigsaw gets the tag and clears out the UnStable, but Brodie gets the better of him, sending him to the floor with his partners. Brodie gets some steam and dives out onto everybody! Helios ends up being the new target for the Rudo squad, and he gets beat down for quite some time. Helios fights everybody off, hitting a flip kick to Colin. He dodges an incoming Gerard and Helios hits both men with an over the top rope tiger feint kick! He dives onto Brodie, allowing Quack, Jig &…’Nox?….to enter. They all like Helios’s idea, so they hit simultaneous dives, clearing out everybody in the first two rows and killing three old people in the process. They thought it was bingo night. This is not my joke; it was a friend’s input. Blame him…if you can find him. Brodie hits Helios with a big swinging sidewalk slam! 1…2…Helios kicks out. Jigsaw goes for a superkick, but Colin stops him with a facebreaker and Brodie chucks him overhead with a half nelson suplex! Brodie tosses Equinox high in the air, but Jimmy counters with a rana, sending Brodie outside, where Quack runs on the apron and kicks him right in the face! Jimmy catches STIGMA with a lethal right, but Jimmy gets caught with a sick implant DDT from Colin! 1…2…Equinox kicks out! Delaney calls for the Attitude Adjustment, but Quack 7 jig hit twin superkicks and Jimmy rolls into a crucifix pin! 1…2…Gerard breaks it up. QuackenSaw catches Vin with a double team maneuver and Jigsaw plants him with a brainbuster! 1…2…STIGMA breaks it up! Things are getting progressively sloppier and crazier. SSP from Helios, but he gives up the pinfall to go after Brodie, who just drilled Jimmy with a nasty Big Boot. Helios and Brodie do a messy DDT spot and Quack comes off with a beautiful Swanton Bomb onto Lee. 1…2…Lee kicks out! Only Quack and Colin are left in. Quack with a palm strike that turns Delaney inside out! QUACKENDRIVER CLASSIC! 1…2…3! Quackenbush and The Future is Now best Brodie and The UnStable! Well that was fantastic at the end there. It really made up for a pretty boring midsection. I like a good heat segment as much as the next wrasslin’ nerd, but this was the match that broke the camel’s desire to watch heat segments. There were just way too many on this show. There were too many within several matches, let alone the show as a whole. I finally got really tired of watching the same thing over and over, so the match suffers a tad because of that. Still, it was a lot of fun and ended the show on a really positive note.
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Overall – 6.5 / 10
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This was an okay show made much more enjoyable by a loud crowd that was vociferous without being stupid. Hearing dumb stuff screeched from the audience always kind of annoys me, but I heard nothing but raucous cheers and boos here. The comments I could here were well-timed and pretty innocent, making for good crowd interaction. The 8-Man Atomico, the Young Lions Cup match & the main event were all really good, and I enjoyed BDK/Throwbacks and Delirious/Dos, too. On the whole though, the show lacked a lot of meaning. It served as a very good set-up for the next night, but does not hold well under its own weight. Furthermore, only two tecnico squads actual got pinfall victories and they were in the two matches that had the least recent storylines and immediate importance attached. I’d easily recommend the show for any Chikara fan, as there’s a lot to like, but I don’t think non-devotees will feel it’s essential viewing. Thumbs up for the die-hard fans, thumbs…in the middle…for those fans who don’t have a ton of cash to throw around and aren’t absolute completests.
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The All-Important M’s
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Match: The main event, barely beating out the terrific eight-man atomico from earlier in the night. While the main had a much better finishing stretch, it also seemed to drag for days in the middle. I think everybody got a heat segment on the technico side. I got bored. The crazy ending woke me up, though it was still on the disjointed side.
Move: Does the triple team dive count? What’s that? I make the rules? The triple team dive in the main event.
Moment: Gran Akuma’s “dance”. He really got the crowd into a frenzy, and the fake out actually worked, too. The idea of Akuma dancing is hilarious, which is why I bought that he might get down with his Mythological self. Akuma delivered two lethal kicks, so that made it an even sweeter tease.
MVP: Eddie Kingston, believe it or not. Let me explain. He cut a great promo, sold like a champ for Tursas and, above all else, put ego aside and did what was best for the storyline: jobbing to a rookie. I’m not saying Eddie has a big ego or anything…I don’t have a death wish. Eddie proves time and time again his love for Chikara through the passion in his promos, but this time it showed in how willing he was to sell for and put over a monster, regardless of the guy’s overall experience. Whether you agree with the booking or not, it’s still pretty great, in a world of Triple H’s and guys who operate on the Spoils System, that somewhere in wrestling, young guys are given a chance to succeed.
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