“Three Tickets To Sacrifice”
Eric Bischoff makes his way to the ring. He introduces Rob Van Dam, who makes his entrance. Bischoff says that he planned for Jeff Hardy to challenge RVD tonight. However, Hardy is nowhere to be found. RVD refuses to take the night off as AJ Styles interrupts. Styles says that he’s in the mood to hurt somebody tonight. He challenges RVD to a match tonight. Jeff Hardy suddenly appears and Bischoff clearly needs to be better informed. Hardy apologizes for being late and says that he doesn’t have a secretary. Styles hilariously yells out “I do”. Bischoff makes a triple threat match for later on.
Jeremy Borash is with the Beautiful People. Madison Rayne says she will prove at Sacrifice that she deserves to be champion. Lacey Von Erich cuts off Velvet Sky and drama ensues.
Opening Match: Taylor Wilde vs. Tara
Wilde lands a crossbody off the apron and connects with a dropkick in the ring. Tara sends her onto the entrance ramp but misses a slingshot leg drop. Wilde springboards off the middle rope but Tara catches her with a kick for the win at 1:32. That finish looked terrible. They tried to put Tara over as ruthless, but weren’t entirely successful. ¼*
Tara attacks Wilde with a knee brace after the match. Sarita runs out to make the save.
Cameras show Desmond Wolfe backstage with Chelsea. Security tries to approach them but Wolfe backs them off. Chelsea is crying. Stay tuned? Oh, after a commercial break, it is revealed that she was attacked. There will be more information soon.
Match #2: Brian Kendrick vs. Doug Williams
Kendrick attacks before the bell. Williams answers with a suplex as Kazarian joins the commentary team. He starts working over Kendrick’s left leg and locks in a half crab. Kazarian comes down to ringside. The distraction allows Kendrick to sneak in a rollup for the victory at 2:13. Purely used for storyline purposes. Kazarian and Williams should have a very good match on Sunday. ¾*
Christy Hemme tells us that local police are not allowing her to reveal Chelsea’s attacker. More information to come. Stay tuned?
Match #3: Max and Jeremy Buck vs. Matt Morgan
Who wants to get buried? Morgan connects with a double clothesline and hits the Hellevator on Jeremy. He lays out Max with the Carbon Footprint and cuts a promo in the middle of a match. Samoa Joe interrupts and hits the Muscle Buster on Morgan. I guess we can call this match a no contest. The Band’s music hits. Kevin Nash has his Feast or Fired briefcase. Oh dear me. This all leads to…
Match #4: TNA World Tag Team Titles: Matt Morgan © vs. Kevin Nash and Scott Hall
Nash simply covers Morgan to allow The Band to become the new TNA World Tag Team Champions at :09. And my patience with TNA keeps growing thinner. N/R
Match #5: James Storm and Robert Roode vs. Chris Sabin and Alex Shelley vs. Shannon Moore and Jesse Neal vs. Brother Ray and Brother Devon
Sabin lands a dive to the floor onto Storm. Devon catches Roode with a powerslam. Team 3D flapjack Roode and Moore adds a flying crossbody. Storm hits a lungblower on Moore and connects with a clothesline. He responds with a bulldog and tags out. Neal cleans house and gourdbusters Roode. The Motor City Machine Guns take over with some double teaming. Team 3D hit a doomsday device on Neal. More hits a rolling neckbreaker on Ray and Neal follows with a spear for the win at 7:18. Fine match that actually received a little bit of time. Moore and Neal look strong heading into the pay per view and that should have been the goal here. *½
Rob Terry comes out to defend his TNA Global Title against Abyss. Abyss never shows up and cameras show him backstage being arrested. It turns out that he was the one who attacked Chelsea. Abyss denies the claims and Desmond Wolfe attacks him. Police pull them apart. Hulk Hogan enters the scene and tells Abyss not to worry. Hogan removes Abyss’ mask and he goes into the police car. Meanwhile, Orlando Jordan attacks Terry with a steal pipe in the ring. He dumps a deck of cards onto Terry’s back, which probably has some form of metaphorical meaning. After a commercial, Jordan makes an open challenge, leading to…
Match #6: Orlando Jordan vs. Tomko
Tomko displays his power advantage before being taken down to the canvas. He avoids a charge and hits a fallaway slam. Jordan connects with a dropkick and takes over. Tomko comes back with a clothesline but falls victim to a backcracker. Jordan locks in a guillotine choke for the win at 2:58. I can go along with the logic that if Jordan can beat Tomko, he can beat Terry. However, the match wasn’t anything special. ½*
Lacey Von Erich gives Hulk Hogan evidence backstage that Abyss is innocent.
Match #7: Tara vs. Sarita
Sarita requested this match after earlier happenings. They start brawling on the entrance ramp and around ringside. Sarita hits a flurry of offense in the ring. She tries to take away Tara’s knee brace. The referee pulls her away and Tara uses the distraction to hit her with the knee brace for the victory at 2:01. If Tara is so ruthless, why does she need to cheat to win? I’m also getting a little tired of two minute matches at this point in the show. ½*
Match #8: Rob Van Dam vs. Jeff Hardy vs. AJ Styles
RVD catches Styles with a spin kick and works together with Hardy. They eventually come to blows as Hardy kicks RVD to the floor. RVD regains control with his kicks and hits a suplex on both of his opponents. Hardy responds with gourdbusters and a sloppy stunner on RVD as well as a neckbreaker on Styles. Styles starts to work over RVD’s left leg. RVD comes back with a monkey flip. Mr. Anderson clotheslines Hardy on the floor. RVD inadvertently kicks the referee. He saves Hardy by throwing Anderson into the guardrail. Styles lands a dive to the floor onto everyone. Styles DDTs RVD on the floor and covers back in the ring for the win at 5:35. A dream match this was not. Interference, a ref bump, and an unclean finish to not equal a dream match. I wish the new polling system allowed fans to pick the duration of the matches instead of the challengers. *½
Hardy calls out Anderson after the match. Hulk Hogan comes out to make sure Anderson faces Hardy. Hogan punches Anderson and Hardy starts brawling with him. They go to commercial. Back from break, Hardy lays Anderson on a table. He lands a swantan, putting Anderson through the table in the process.
We see a video backstage on Desmond Wolfe and Chelsea in the bathroom. It is revealed that Wolfe setup the whole situation and framed Abyss. We get some video packages to close the show…with a whimper.
Overall: I don’t see how this episode of Impact could make anyone excited for Sacrifice on Sunday. We were given a whopping EIGHT matches this week and not one of them reached two stars. For a company with this much talent, there is no excuse for that. As usual, the latest pay per view offering has some intriguing matches as well as some dreadful sounding ones. If you were debating whether or not to order the show (God bless you), this episode of Impact did absolutely nothing to tip the scales. More of the same this week.
