We lose two contestants this week as somebody walks away and somebody gets eliminated. There’s running, cheerleading, suplexes and even a giant for good measure this week on Tough Enough!
Ryan & Rima Return
After a wonderful reminder as to why Matt Cross was eliminated last week – complete with some additional footage that made him look foolish – we see Rima and Ryan returning to the house to the surprise of absolutely everyone, most of all Mickael who flat out told Skid-Marks that he was going home. In fact Mickael questions exactly what Austin is looking for by cutting Matt and the housemates lament on the result. I like how we deal with last week’s result before we get down to this week’s business.
Running Running Running
Bill DeMott kicks the episode off in fine fashion by bursting into the bedrooms and yelling at everyone for not being awake (at 6.08am). They hustle to get dressed and assemble outside where Bill has a nice long run prepared for them to get them into better shape. It’s a hell of a run and many of them end up walking while Luke presses on ahead and boasts he’s in the best physical and mental condition of everyone here. Hilariously, Austin gives chase in a little off-road vehicle and heckles them while drinking coffee. Michelle admits she never works out and stops to throw up while Austin laughs.
Luke sprints to the finish in a time of 19 minutes. Ryan, Jeremiah and Andy finish a few minutes later. Surprisingly Rima finishes next, beating out all the girls and several of the guys. Martin, AJ, Mickael, Ivelisse and Christina are the next group, with Michelle looking like she’s going to die but still beating last-placed Eric by a few minutes. Bill exaggerates by saying Eric is last in every challenge (pretty sure his dog run was second or third best). It’s always fun watching other people exhaust themselves from the comfort of your sofa and you can’t deny the benefits of the task for the contest.
Daily Training
Austin runs the ropes and takes some bumps to warm up because he’s going to be getting physical later. Bill, Booker and Trish take the contestants through reversals and holds and once again Michelle the alleged veteran embarrasses herself, first forgetting how to get out of a hammerlock and then panicking when she’s being suplexed onto a crash mat by Luke. Trish lets her know it only gets tougher as she holds back the tears and clutches her back. Meanwhile Bill thinks Mickael’s technique is all wrong. These brief training segments are frustrating because they’re the thing a wrestling-smart audience most wants to see but also the part the WWE are never going to show us. Still, however briefly, I enjoy seeing them actually wrestle.
Weeeeeelllll, Well It’s The Big Show!
The sun disappears as the Big Show walks in the front door. Surprisingly Austin calls him by his real name, complimenting Show’ technique, claiming he has the agility of someone half his size. He immediately takes notice of Eric who gets scolded for taking a bump badly. Show takes him to a corner and tells him he’s sabotaging himself by being in poor shape, claiming fatigue makes cowards of us all.
Austin then wrestles Luke for a few minutes. That’s right ladies and gentleman, the man who is clearly the favourite to win gets to wrestle the host. Speculate away. He takes suplexes, a back elbow and gets thrown out of the ring, selling it all very well. I may not like him, but the kid is good. Big Show takes off but before he goes he warns them to not make any friends as only one of them gets to win. It was telling that the highlight of this segment was Austin wrestling a contestant because Show was on screen for even less time than Cena last week. I liked that he called Eric aside and had a giant to giant talk though.
Michelle’s Dilemma
Michelle calls her husband and cries about her daughter, questioning if the competition is worth it anymore. She answers that for us moments later by interrupting Austin as he began to address the contestants. She points out how in week 1 she claimed she could push her life aside for this opportunity but now she has decided she cannot. Austin clearly feels for her as she surrenders her belt and asks the others to go outside. He sits with her on the ring apron and confesses that he’s only just gotten to know his daughters fifteen years after they were born, saying he respects her decision. Bah-gawd the Rattlesnake hugged someone on camera! He wishes her luck, hangs her belt and says the wrestling business isn’t for everyone. A genuinely touching little moment but I feel a little bad for M-Dogg.
Life Lesson: Technique
Trish introduces the gang to Cheer San Francisco who camp it up as much as humanly possible, making Martin cringe. Trish tells them they’ll be trained to perform in a tourist spot in downtown LA. Trish is utterly beside herself with joy over the task while the contestants are reluctant at best. Jeremiah looks hilarious as he embraces the challenge while Mickael worries about his street cred back home in Jersey.
Oh damn, Stacey Keibler is here! Jeremiah doesn’t even know who she is but he’s drooling. Rima nearly dies after flying backwards over Eric’s head and if not for the by-standing cheerleaders she would have landed very badly. Stacey says it was Rima’s fault for being too scared. After a few basket tosses they all look like they’re having fun. The concept of cheerleading teaching technique is fine in theory, but I’m not entirely convinced this served a purpose beyond humiliating them for our amusement. I’m OK with that.
The All-New Spirit Squad
There’s an actual crowd and they have blue and yellow uniforms. I’m officially on Team Jeremiah after he did a handspring, backflip and then smiled with his teeth missing. Their performance is cringe-tastic and Rima almost falls to her doom again, but they’re all having fun and their trainers are pleased. If not for Jeremiah’s antics this segment would have killed the episode for me. Thank goodness for light-hearted prankster farm-boy-turned-MMA fighter-turned wrestlers with missing teeth eh?
Skills Challenge: Chain of Command
Rima asks Bill for extra help after the challenge, making a sensible request sound like the stuff of low-budget porn. Their challenge is to pair up and do a series of moves. Bill and Booker demonstrate the sequence; a lock-up, go-behind, school boy and a vertical suplex. Luke and Mickael go first and Luke looks good executing the moves, but Mickael takes the suplex badly. Luke leaves, AJ gets in, and Mickael gets a turn. I’m not sure whose fault it was, but they sucked out loud. We run through the others quicker with Jeremiah and Christina looking good, and Rima nearly landing on her head on a suplex.
Mickael and Rima are eliminated from the first round and Bill adds a headlock and a shoulder tackle to the beginning of the sequence. Luke shows off a bit too much and draws his first negative feedback of the competition from Booker. Martin and Eric impress with powerful suplexes. Luke gets cut and is not happy. More nice work from Martin, Jeremiah and AJ, but Christina botches a school boy badly and is cut. Skid-Marks gets mocked extensively for his goofy antics and moronic in-ring demeanor. Ryan and Andy are cut, with Ivelisse, AJ and Jeremiah following them.
It all comes down to Martin and Eric. Bill demands they do the sequence repeatedly until told to stop. Yikes. Both guys do well but Eric gradually starts to fade and Austin calls an end to it. He scolds Eric despite him making it significantly further than golden-boy Luke. He tells Martin he’s the man and everyone applauds. Trish hugs him and Bill makes a point of calling him by his real name (rather than Donny Osmond). Luke is a bitter little bunny, saying Martin wasn’t so impressive and reminds him of a cheesy actor. A really nice segment and perhaps the best test of their wrestling abilities to date.
Critique and Feedback
The trainers call Martin the new top dog, while Rima is the biggest disappointment despite excelling with the run. Austin laughs that she of all people didn’t do well with the cheerleading. They all bash Mickael’s technique and then mock Ryan, with Bill sugar-coating it by calling him a jackass without an ounce of manhood. Ouch. Austin says Eric stepped up in the ring but then crashed out once he made it to the final two. Bill comments on his poor 42-minute effort in the run. Trish says he is progressing and that it’s just a matter of conditioning.
Mickael, Ryan and Rima are chosen as the bottom three. Mickael throws his bag down in a strop. Rima asks what more is needed besides heart and passion (talent maybe?). Luke tells Ryan he reminds him of his best friend because he’s so genuine and advises him that he needs to be more of an asshole to make it. Mickael strips Ryan’s bed because he’s convinced he won’t be needing it in a few hours. What a complete dick move.
The Bottom Three
Austin calls the return of Rima and Ryan to the bottom three a family reunion. Mickael resists being a part of their family. Stone Cold asks him why he’s on Tough Enough. He says he needs this because he has no job and nothing to go home to… except his wife (sucks to be her). Austin says he’s failed to stand out. He turns to Ryan who finally shows some fire, complaining about the others looking at him like a joke. Mickael continues to be a stand-up guy by calling him a joke to his face. Rima asks Steve why she’s in the bottom three. He says her technique is non-existant. She points out that she asked for extra help and Austin commends her for doing so. He compliments her on the run and she points out she kicked Mickael’s ass. Hilarious.
Austin asks Mickael how he feels about losing to Ryan and Rima chimes in again to remind him that she beat him. He looks extremely irritated and throws more insults at Ryan, losing his cool when Ryan smiles back at him. Austin finds their tension amusing. He tells Rima she’s safe but then warns her about the one on one help.
The Elimination
Austin demands Mickael and Ryan cut promos on each other to settle things and determine who will get cut. Mickael goes first and grits his teeth, declaring he needs this more than Ryan. Ryan mocks Mickael’s complaining and says even though he’s called Skid-Marks he’s still managed to make an impression. He also asks if this is just Mickael’s fall-out plan because he has nothing else. He finishes his impressive promo by saying he’s tired of entertaining 200 people on indie shows and wants to show the world who he is. Mickael won’t even look at him and Austin eliminates him. YES! He’s naturally upset but it’s difficult to feel empathy for him given how rude and arrogant he’s been throughout.
Next week: Rollerskates, partying, and Rima trains with Bill after hours. Bow chicka bow wow.
Episode Thoughts
I was a little pessimistic going forward after Matt Cross got cut, but this was a really good episode of wrestling television. Bill forcing them to run at 6am was a tremendous way to start the show, and despite a slightly pointless appearance from the Big Show and a slightly more pointless cheerleading task, there was a lot of actual wrestling content this week so that gets a big thumbs up from me. The drama added by Michelle quitting was a nice touch, reminding us all that the wrestling business isn’t easy. It also served to further humanise Steve Austin, a man normally defined by his Stone Cold nickname. I don’t think anyone can deny that Austin has been tough but fair throughout the competition, scolding the contestants when they do badly while being there for them when they need it. The right three were chosen for the chopping block, and the right man was eliminated. Mickael annoyed me from day one and his terrible attitude was at a fever pitch this week. Trashing Ryan’s bed was about four steps too far and his elimination was the perfect cure for M-Dogg being cut last week.
Contestant Assessment
Martin has temporarily supplanted Luke as the top dog, but it remains clear that there is a lot of bias towards the self-proclaimed Golden Sledgehammer, and his match against Stone Cold demonstrated this aptly. To be fair to him, as cocky as he is, he’s been very good in the ring and his look and conditioning are undeniable. Jeremiah was entertaining in the cheerleading challenge and reached the penultimate round in the skills contest and he’s fast becoming one of my favourites. Eric‘s complete lack of physical fitness was on display for all the world to see this week, but we also got to see a glimpse of what he’s capable of when he powered his way to the final two of the wrestling challenge. Big Show taking him aside seems to have lit a fire under him and his indie work has him number one in my personal book.
Ivelisse is clearly the best of the ladies but there can only be one winner, regardless of gender so she’s going to have to do a lot to take home the prize. AJ continues to be consistent if fairly bland and I maintain he’ll likely survive past some of the guys mentioned above purely because he keeps his head down, but fundamentally he won’t be winning. Ryan aka Skid-Marks‘ in-ring mannerisms were laugh out loud bad but it was great to see him stand up for himself at the end of the episode and he certainly cuts a nice promo.
I like Andy but he’s failed to stand-out so far so I’m keeping him in the lower part of the pack. Rima‘s trouble-maker persona has died down for now, and despite the fact she can’t wrestle, she’s in good shape, she clearly actually wants it, and she responds well to a challenge. Her decision to ask for one to one mentoring impressed me as much as it did Austin. She’ll have a job when this is over but she won’t win. Christina wasn’t been as terrible as I thought she’d be in the first two episodes but she demonstrated a lack of in-ring ability this time around so I doubt she’s long for the contest, though her familial bond with Alicia Fox may get her a job regardless.
Plugs
– Check out my Podcast Review of Evolve 7 with Jerome. If you didn’t catch the iPPV then I suggest you get the replay because it was a worthwhile evening of wrestling.
– That’s it this week, you’re lucky I stopped playing Mortal Kombat for long enough to review the episode!