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It’s back! A week removed from one of, if not the most successful weekends in Chikara history, CHIKARMY Insider is back to deliver more literary lariats to your throbbing brain! King of Trios is in the rearview mirror and Chikara Pro is moving forward like a man with his pants full of bees. The company will be making their southern debut in North Carolina with Engulfed in a Fever of Spite. As many of my faithfully bewildered readers will tell you, I live in The South™ myself! However, the show is still many, many hours away so I will once again be denied an opportunity to witness live the spunky might that is Chikara. They do put out DVDs though, so not all is lost! The show will be rundown, a new feature called Afterthoughts debuts and tons more stuff happens! Grab a chair and get comfortable: it’s column o’clock!
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There is no denying it anymore: King of Trios is the premier event in all of independent wrestling. After three incredible nights of action last weekend, Chikara Pro managed to release all three events in 24 hours! That’s right: they’re all available right now! If you missed the memo, this is your chance to catch up. HERE is the Chikara DVDs page at Smart Mark Video, where you can purchase all 3 amazing nights spoiler-free. It’s already the best-selling title in Smart Mark history and it only took FIVE DAYS! If you’ve been spoiled, then you know what you’re getting: the grandest weekend of wrestling in years. If you don’t have the cash right now but you still wanna know what all the hubbub is about, check out our coverage of Night 1, Night 2 and Night 3!
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The Best of Chikara 2010 DVD!
King of Trios isn’t the only huge release SMV dropped for Chikara fans: The Best of 2010 DVD is now out, too! Chikara always ensures that their “Best Of” releases are worth every penny of your twenty bucks: Team Chikara versus the Bruderschaft for the very first time at A Touch of Class, Team Big Japan versus Team Frightning from King of Trios (Night 1), F.I.S.T. vs. Team Osaka Pro from King of Trios (Night 2), Bryan Danielson versus Tim Donst from Faded Scars and Lines, WORLD-1 versus Mike Quackenbush, Jigsaw, Hallowicked from Chikarasaurus Rex, Frightmare vs. Lince Dorado from the finals of Young Lions Cup VIII, Manami Toyota & Mike Quackenbush vs. Sara Del Rey & Claudio Castagnoli from Through Savage Progress Cuts The Jungle Line, the entire Torneo Cibernetico match from The Dark Cibernetico, UltraMantis Black versus Ares in a wild Falls Count Anywhere Match from The Germans, QuackenSaw taking on Ares & Claudio Castagnoli for the Campeonatos de Parejas from Reality is Relative and FIFTEEN more matches! 25 matches in all! If you missed anything from Season 9, this DVD has got you covered. Don’t care about engrossing storylines and you just wanna feast on terrific matches? Duh, it’s called “Best Of”. Buy it, ya turkey.
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Chikara Pro’s Upcoming Schedule!
May 14th – Engulfed in a Fever of Spite – Burlington, NC
May 21st – Aniversario & His Amazing Friends – Easton, PA
May 22nd – Aniversario: The Legendary Super Powers Show – Union City, NJ
June 24th – The Case of the Bulletproof Waldo – Chicago, IL
June 25th – A Demon in His Pocket – Taylor, MI
June 26th – The Evil That Lies Within, Part 4 – Cleveland, OH
July 30th – Chikarasaurus Rex: King of Sequel – Reading, PA
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The Legacy of Larry Sweeney
During the hiatus taken from this column, Chikara Pro, independent wrestling and humankind lost one of its rarest and most memorable residents. Larry Sweeney’s battles with depression finally got the better of him, and he took his own life as a result. It was a dark day for the wrestling community, as they lost one of its most talented and tormented individuals. The days afterward were gradually lit with a huge outcry of support on Twitter, where he was trending worldwide for quite a long time, tons of memories shared by close friends like Chris Hero & Bryce Remsburg, and a general feeling that, unlike many wrestling deaths, Sweeney passed with a lot more to give to the sport. It truly didn’t feel like his time. His last appearance in Chikara was at The Dark Cibernetico, where he fought side-by-side with Eddie Kingston. Clearly he was in no physical condition to compete full-time, but the amazing uproar of fan support fueled his performance, as the visual of King and Sweeney battling on the same side left a lasting impression on those in attendance and those who watched the DVD release. It motivated Sweeney himself, too, as his last Chikara moment exists in a blog post on the website from December of last year. “I’ve got unfinished business in CHIKARA,” he wrote “and when the time is right, I’ll be around to settle the score.” It is in this way that his moniker of “Sweet N’ Sour” will stand as a literal & metaphorical legacy: the sweet, his one-a-generation charisma, lauded promo skills and absolute devotion to his friends, and the sour, a troubled man now gone before his prime. He is equal parts tragedy and triumph, but his legacy as the greatest modern manager in wrestling carries few rivals, if any at all. He will be deeply missed.
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The 12-Large Title Tournament!
Though it is not official, the fans of Chikara Pro have spoken up about a desire to name Chikara’s upcoming tournament after the late Larry Sweeney, utilizing his “12-Large” moniker for the twelve-man playoff. What tournament, you ask? The one to crown the first-ever Chikara singles champion! Director of Fun Wink Vavasseur announced the results of the Roster votes for who should challenge for Chikara’s singles title, though the exact results i.e. who voted for who is still a mystery. Also a mystery is the official name of said title or what the parameters of holding it would be. However, the names of the competitors are known: Mike Quackenbush, Claudio Castagnoli, Eddie Kingston, UltraMantis Black, Jigsaw, Hallowicked, Brodie Lee, Vin Gerard, Fire Ant, Sara Del Rey, Amasis and Icarus will all fight for singles gold in a two-block, round robin-style tournament that begins on May 21st in Easton, PA!
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EVOLVE Update: F.I.S.T. Reigns Supreme!
EVOLVE 7: Aries vs. Moxley took place on a Tuesday in Manhattan, serving as Jon Moxley’s final independent event before heading off to WWE developmental. Despite this, Chikara had a very strong presence on the show, top to bottom. Going into the event, F.I.S.T. members Chuck Taylor and Johnny Gargano were tied for the Wins Lead with two-time Tag World Grand Prix entrant and one-time Young Lions Cup entrant Jimmy Jacobs. If any two or all of those men won their respective matches that night, they would face off in a playoff later in the show so that a true Wins Leader could be determined. Taylor & Gargano won their respective contests while Jacobs fell, forcing the playoff. Gargano would submit Taylor via Gargano Escape after Reby Sky threw in the towel for him. Also, Frightmare & Jigsaw were successful in a tag match and will look to build on the win against stronger competition in the future!
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They didn’t shock the world, pull off a massive upset or even achieve the unthinkable. In a way, that makes the accomplishment of Fire Ant, Soldier Ant & Green Ant even more impressive. Since Chikara biggest tournament began in 2007, it seemed like a foregone conclusion that the ants would eventually make good and take the whole thing. As each year passed that they didn’t win, more and more fans would hop on the wagon and proclaim this year the Year of the Ants, or that year. Somehow, with all that outside pressure, the most stacked tourney field yet and a year removed from every member experiencing serious injuries, The Colony managed to do…the expected. They are the 2011 King of Trios, living up to the copious amount of confidence that seemingly burned them for so many years. Cheated out of Trios in every single year before, they finally managed to stave off The Osirian Portal and three of the top rudo squads in Chikara (The Dark Army, the BDK and finally F.I.S.T.) to fulfill their destinies. Now they must go back to the start, as their Trios first round opponents want another crack with a modified line-up. Obariyon & Kodama will once again oppose the ants, but the feral goblin known as Kobald will be taking the place of leader Sinn Bodhi. It was a rough weekend for The Batiri, and they will look to bounce back at the expense of the recently-crowned Kings.
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Without a doubt, they are two of Chikara’s best-loved and fun-filled tag teams. However, they’re careers in the company have been very different. Amasis & Ophidian are former Campeones de Parejas, holding them together for almost 11 months. They have challenged for the belts a record four times. Ophidian was the 2010 Rey de Voladores and nearly went to the finals of YLC VIII. Amasis is scheduled to be in the tournament to determine the first true Chikara champion. They are not just beloved for all their success though; The Osirian Portal’s hilarious hypnosis clips have gone viral, making them two of the more recognizable stars of the company, too. Dasher Hatfield & Sugar Dunkerton, for all their invisible basketball games, inexplicable foot races and indescribable charm, are short on accomplishments. Sugar D has twice exited the first round of Trios and lost an opening match in last year’s YLC tourney, his only shot at capturing the Cup due to age limitations. Dasher Hatfield has twice lost in bids for the Young Lions Cup, against Max Boyer & Tim Donst. Neither man, together or with other partners, has challenged for the tag titles. Two teams, both well-received, on very different planes of recognition. They have only met once across from each other, and that was Dunkerton’s Chikara debut during an Elimination Tag Match. Amasis dropped him with the Egyptian Conniption and The Throwbacks were eliminated. That was a year and a half ago. Now, they will face each other in a two-on-two battle for the very first time, as both look to gain one point and get back in the title picture.
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While his war with Sinn Bodhi and the Batiri took his attention for a while, it seems UltraMantis Black is refocusing a bit and getting back to what endured him to the fans in the first place: battling the deadly Bruderschaft. For the last few months, Mantis, untied and reunited with Frightmare & Hallowicked respectively, has been deadest on bringing down The Dark Army. However, Bodhi & Co. have run all over him, losing a six-man tag to the Batiri and receiving a savage beating from Bodhi on two separate occasions. Now, it seems, he has a new mission. “[There] are still a great many chapters to this story that have yet to be written.” Mantis wrote on the Chikara Blog. “Because you see, Hallowicked and I have much more in common than simply an issue with The Batiri. When Incoherence agreed to join forces with the great and devious UltraMantis Black in a bid to avenge the transgressions of the demons, it did in fact come with some strings attached. In return, I vowed to Hallowicked that I would indeed right past wrongs – namely, my macabre manipulation of Delirious. And so the time draws near for me to seal our agreement. I have no misgivings and rest assured, I WILL do what needs to be done.” On Night 1 of King of Trios 2011, he & the rest of The Spectral Envoy tried to free Delirious from his mental bonds after Team BDK’s match with Da Soul Touchaz. They were unsuccessful though, as the rest of the BDK broke them up and a brawl ensued. Now back on the BDK’s radar, he has been tasked with putting down Tursas, who has only ever been bested by Eddie Kingston in solo combat. With the singles tourney impending, the fight for Delirious’s soul brimming and The Batiri looming, it seems like rough days are ahead for “The Devious One”.
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Listen, I’ve pretty much got this hyperbole stuff down pat. Mix in alliteration with a healthy dose of history, drama and references to 90’s cartoon shows, and you’ve pretty much blueprinted my writing style. But this match, Daizee Haze, the lethal lotus of the Bruderschaft, versus Grizzly Redwood, the Roughnecks’ little lumberjack, stifles even my silliest synapses. My one real thought when seeing this match is that a contest like this might make those fake chivalrists at Spike TV twist and turn, a network known for shows like MANswers, Stripperella, 1000 Ways to Lie, 1000 Ways to Die and, of course, TNA Impact. These insipid executives, despite the trite, at times offensive messes that make their line-ups, get a little shy around the idea that a man and woman can stand off in a wrestling ring together as equals. They don’t allow any man-on-woman violence, as it might…something. I don’t know. I do know this though: I have seen Sara Del Rey repeatedly piledrive Frightmare. I have seen Daizee Haze go toe-to-toe with Willie “Da Bomb” Richardson. I’ve seen Manami Toyota take a man’s head clean off with a Yakuza Kick. So while this may not be the most exciting or purposeful match on the surface, remember this: you won’t find it many other places and certainly not on the hypocritical nightmare that is TNA Impact. So…there’s that.
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Welcome to Afterthoughts, a brand-new segment in my column. This is a place where I’ll be posting my thoughts and opinions that have absolutely no real place anywhere else in the article: fantasy booking, musings, Chikara-inspired limericks, half-cocked ramblings, etc. Basically, it’s a convenient way to put more of myself in columns without oversaturating the information with my brand of bizarre. I know what you’re thinking: “Didn’t you just turn the Haze/Grizz write-up into a rant on TNA, Spike TV and sexism in general?” Well…yes. That’s still going to happen. You get the info you need and a tirade attached for amusement. In Afterthoughts, the ratio will be inverted: it’s mostly rants with some helpful info sprinkled in. Enjoy it or, if you’re just here for the basic info, skip it altogether. I will be terribly offended. This week, it’s a little fun daydreaming I did regarding the upcoming singles tourney!
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My fantasy brackets would have Mike Quackenbush, UltraMantis Black, Hallowicked, Brodie Lee, Vin Gerard & Fire Ant on one side and Claudio Castagnoli, Eddie Kingston, Jigsaw, Sara Del Rey, Amasis and Icarus on the other with the best two men from each side fighting again in a rematch to go to the finals at either Chikarasaurus Rex II or the show following it. Standard 2 points for a win, 1 point for a draw, 0 for a loss. Below, brackets indicate the total points followed by their overall record.
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1. Brodie Lee (8) 4-1
2. UltraMantis Black (6) 3-2
3. Mike Quackenbush (6) 3-2
4. Hallowicked (4) 2-3
5. Vin Gerard (4) 2-3
6. Fire Ant (2) 1-4
Notes: Lee steamrolls past everyone except Quackenbush and UltraMantis shocks the field, only falling to Wicked & Lee. He holds a tie-break win over Quack, so he meets Brodie again in the semifinals. There, he puts down Brodie with a top rope fisherman buster to advance to the finals.
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1. Claudio Castagnoli (9) 4-0-1
2. Jigsaw (8) 4-1
5. Eddie Kingston (5) 2-2-1
4. Icarus (4) 2-3
5. Amasis (2) 1-4
6. Sara Del Rey (2) 1-4
Notes: Kingston loses clean to Jigsaw, dirty to Del Rey and Claudio, with a spot locked up, just refuses to fight him and costs Eddie any shot at the finals. Jigsaw wins his final, tie-breaking match against Icarus to face Castagnoli again in semifinals, where Kingston neutralizes Tursas to assists Jig. Castagnoli still gets the win though, advancing to the finals.
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Finals: the BDK brawls with Kingston to the back, leaving it Mantis versus Claudio with Delirious still roaming around ringside. Mantis looks for the win via super fisherman but he locks eyes with Delirious on the apron. For a moment, Delirious looks like he recognizes him only for Castagnoli to shove Black off the top and hit the super uppercut for two. Delirious is finally called to assist Claudio and Mantis just drops to his knees with his hands behind his back, swearing not to lay a finger on him. Delirious freaks out, drops Castagnoli with a discus lariat and bolts towards the back screaming. Mantis takes advantage, nailing the Praying Mantis Bomb for a crazy two-count before clumsily locking on The Chikara Special. Claudio kicks away and it looks like Mantis won’t be able to hold on but Hallowicked & Frightmare emerge to cheer him on, giving him the strength to tighten his grip and force Castagnoli to tap him out for the epic win.
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Please leave any comments or questions you might have and I’ll do my best to respond with as many hypnotic Japanese lullabies as I can conjure. I’d like to do a contest or something cool like that, but I’m not sure how much interest there’d be. Let your voice be heard! Also, let me know if there’s anything you’d like to see in the column, like fantasy booking, treasure hunts, wish-lists, secret handshakes, etc.
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