This week: Draft Fever! Cena to Smackdown! Cena to Raw! Mark Henry overcomes projected work ethic issues to be drafted by Smackdown. Alex Riley’s heartfelt message to The Miz; “I miss you dawg!” Plus Sin Cara’s fancy lighting, David Hart Smith’s wacky dancing and R-Truth turns his back on Little Jimmy.
RAW
– Big Show and Kofi Kingston won a 20 Man Raw vs Smackdown Battle Royal, last eliminating Mason Ryan, to earn a draft pick.
Participants: Daniel Bryan, Evan Bourne, Mark Henry, Great Khali, Mason Ryan, Sheamus, Santino Marella, Vladimir Kozlov, Yoshi Tatsu, Ted Dibiase; Ezekial Jackson, Wade Barrett, Heath Slater, Justin Gabriel, Chris Masters, Brodus Clay, Cody Rhodes, Drew McIntyre, Kofi Kingston, Kane, Big Show
The show started with the battle royal already underway. One draft pick on the line for the winning team. Kane was the first to go thanks to a host of Raw guys ganging up to eliminate him. We got a Big Show – Great Khali battle during this, always fun times. The Smackdown guys ganged up to eliminate Khali. Kozlov went out off camera. Henry, with a little help from Bourne, got Zeke out. Then, with a little help from Dibiase, he tossed Heath, followed by Masters. Ted dumped Barrett out, which is probably Ted’s biggest ‘win’ in months. Poor Ted’s success lasted about 15 seconds, before getting backdropped out by Kofi. Henry managed to eliminate himself and Brodus, which looked pretty bad. Giving Raw an advantage, 6 to 4. Prompting Josh to claim “things are looking good for Team Smackdown now!” Thanks, Josh. Show threw out Yoshi. Drew and Sheamus got a chance to work together for a while, leading to Drew eliminating Sheamus.
That left 4 on each side. Drew, Big Show, Kofi and Cody for Smackdown, Mason Ryan and the APPLE trio of Santino, Evan and Bryan for Raw. Again, like most battle royals, things got better as they went along. Bourne countered a back suplex on Drew, causing Drew to be flipped out. Santino tried the Cobra on Big Show on the apron, but Show turned the Cobra on Santino to send him out. Mason tossed Cody and Kofi eliminated Bryan. Leaving Big Show and Kofi against the unlikely team of Mason Ryan and Evan Bourne (Batista and Rey 2.0?) Bourne and Kofi had a great sequence teasing elimination, before Evan got caught jumping over Mason and thrown out by Big Show. Show and Kofi made quick work of Mason and won the first draft pick.
– Which was John Cena, of all people, to Smackdown. Everyone was shocked, as Cena came out and put on a Smackdown shirt. For literally no good reason, Cole was outraged that this could happen. Until, I presume, someone yelled at him for being an idiot and he tried to put over the shock instead.
– Cena did an interview about being drafted. He told some of his jokes and promised to become the WWE Champion at Extreme Rules. Miz walked up and said after Extreme Rules, he really wouldn’t be able to see Cena.
– R-Truth came out onto the stage to cut a promo. He did his old catchphrase, except with “SHUT UP” instead of “WHAT’S UP”. “The topic of the word today is you”. A real line. Truth tried to address the crowd, who responded with “What?”s. Of course, Truth acknowledging the chants just made them louder, but they actually added to this segment believe it or not. Especially when Truth said “ya’ll pissing me the hell off” and the censors failed to bleep it properly. Truth blamed the fans for Morrison challenging him and for him accepting and losing. He said trying to please the fans by dancing and rapping had got him “diddly squat” and told the crowd they needed to get some rhythm. Truth then started talking to an imaginary boy called Little Jimmy. Yes. Truth told Little Jimmy, an imaginary child remember, that him dancing wasn’t putting titles around his waist and told the imaginary child to shut up. Truth told the fans he was giving them the boot, “Sara nara, arribaderchi, see ya later, bye, peace out, deuces!” Another real line. He called a fan “four eyes” and said he felt marvellous now he’d gotten his frustrations out.
– Eventually, John Morrison attacked from behind and referees ran out to pull them apart. Morrison broke free and got a few more shots in before being finally dragged away. This was something else. The best Truth promo in WWE by leaps and bounds. His reactions to the “What?” chants were Kurt Angle-esque. And Truth managed to get a lot of heat. He’s definitely a unique man.
– They aired another Kong promo and she’s officially named ‘Kharma’ now.
– Eve Torres d. Layla in 0:38 to earn a draft pick. Michelle came out with Layla. Or, after Layla. Not sure. They got in one move before Cole grabbed a microphone and started talking about going backstage to warm up for his match. Eve rolled up Layla while all this was going on. Once Cole finally stop talking, Layla attacked Michelle and threw her over the announce table. A mess.
– As a result of this, Raw got Rey Mysterio as a draft pick. Cody was interviewed after the break, promising to give Rey a going away present at Extreme Rules.
– Kofi Kingston d. Sheamus in 2:22 to earn a draft pick. Sheamus took the fight to Kofi early and dictated the match. Kofi managed to avoid a charge and Sheamus posted himself, allowing Kingston to fight back. Kofi avoided both the powerbomb and the Brogue Kick, hitting two Trouble In Paradises to pick up the win.
– Smackdown got Randy Orton, which left the Raw locker room looking deflated. Not sure why. Surely less competition would be a good thing for them?
– Jim Ross d. Michael Cole via DQ in 4:34. Booker T joined Josh on commentary, with Lawler in JR’s corner. Cole stalled forever. To the point even Larry Zbyszko was thinking “okay, now you’re just going too far”. JR finally shoved Cole down at the 3 minute mark and Swagger brought in a stool and a spit bucket. Eventually Cole went for a slam, but JR fell on top and started raining punches. And I mean raining. Cole got his lip busted and JR apparently broke his hand. Swagger took out King and jumped in for the DQ. Swagger put JR in the anklelock as Cole whipped him with a belt. Until Lawler made the save and got a few whips in on Cole, before he scurried away. The GM then announced the Extreme Rules tag would be a Country Whipping Match. Good angle, the ‘match’ was too long.
– Backstage, The Miz ran down The Rock’s birthday celebration next week and complained about his Extreme Rules match, but promised he’d find a way to win. He then claimed if he was drafted to Smackdown, Raw would be cancelled in a month. I don’t believe him.
– Randy Orton d. Dolph Ziggler in 3:24 to earn two draft picks. Dolph had black gear to go with his new hair this week. They teased a countout win for Ziggler, but Orton got back in just in time. Orton ran through Ziggler, but got distracted and they teased a rollup win for Dolph (ala two weeks ago). But Orton kicked out and hit the RKO for the pin.
– CM Punk interrupted the draft picks to cut a final promo on Orton. Orton promised Punk all he would be doing after Extreme Rules was sleeping. “Unconscious sleep”. As opposed to…? After the break, they announce Smackdown’s picks were Sin Cara and Mark Henry.
– Rey Mysterio d. Wade Barrett in 2:31 to earn two draft picks. Basic Rey match. Top rope hurricanrana set up the 619 and the splash for the win. Raw received The Big Show and Alberto Del Rio. Backstage, Brodus asked what that meant for him, but Del Rio just ignored him and talked things over with Ricardo.
– Cole came back out for the main event with his busted lip. Which quietened him down a bit. But not much. Teddy Long announced it would be Team Raw versus Team Smackdown for the final draft pick.
– The Miz, Alberto Del Rio and CM Punk d. John Cena, Christian and Mark Henry (Miz pinned Cena) in 8:29 to earn a draft pick. A truly great heel team of great men. They actually had the temerity to claim this was John Cena’s final time on Raw. Even before the ending, that was a dumb statement. Miz started with Christian, but bailed the moment Cena was tagged in. This was a pro-Cena week, reaction wise. The Smackdown team worked over Punk before a distraction allowed Punk to hit a roundhouse kick and tables turned on Christian. Christian hung in and hit a Tornado DDT on Alberto. In came Cena to clear house. Only for Henry to shockingly turn and clothesline Cena. Henry pressed Christian into the steps and left, allowing Miz to beat Cena with the Skull Crushing Finale. The heels had a great celebration, with Punk and Del Rio kissing each other in their excitement. Match was perfectly fine, although the turn obviously prevented a big finish.
– So, Raw got the final draft pick and wouldn’t you know it, it was John Cena from Smackdown to Raw, a shocking turn of events. I tend to agree that Cena shouldn’t have gone to Smackdown, but as an ending to a show this was a bit anti-climactic. Cena beat up the heels and threw Miz on top of them in the least impressive manner possible, then put on a Raw shirt to end the show.
SUPPLEMENTAL DRAFT
To Raw: Jack Swagger, Kelly Kelly, JTG, Drew McIntyre, Curt Hawkins, Chris Masters, Kofi Kingston, Tyler Reks, Beth Pheonix
To Smackdown: Daniel Bryan, Great Khali, Jimmy Uso, Alicia Fox, William Regal, Yoshi Tatsu, Natalya, Jey Uso, Ted Dibiase, Tyson Kidd, Tamina, Alex Riley, Sheamus
NXT
– This week’s challenge was “How Well Do You Know Your Pro?” There was no Derrick Bateman to save this. Do yourselves a favour and find last season’s challenge where Bateman and Bryan cheated, watch that. Darren Young refused to answer because he was still angry with Chavo and told him he was a better wrestler than him. Lucky Cannon said “it’s all about me”. Again. This. Went. Seven. Minutes. And I want them back. Regal claimed he could understand why Cole went mad, having to sit through NXT. Anyway, Novak won 4 Redemption points.
– Titus O’Neill d. Darren Young in 4:06. After another ‘confrontation’, Hornswoggle goosed Young and Titus took advantage. Hornswoggle, and by proxy Titus, may have been the only act getting a reaction on this entire show. Titus is improving. He tried an axehandle from the apron, but Young used the ring skirt to crotch him. Young put on a figure four and tried to get Chavo to grab his hands for leverage, but Chavo refused. The resulting arguement led to Titus hitting the Sky High to remain undefeated this season. Not bad.
– JTG and Novak ragged on Regal for embarrassing him in England last week. I still don’t understand why Novak is mad at Regal. They’re playing it up like Regal was burying him, but I’m not sure that ever happened. Regal cut a really good promo in response and challenged Novak to a match right now, but Novak said it wasn’t going to happen. Novak said it would be on his terms, next week.
– JTG and Jacob Novak d. Vladimir Kozlov and Conor O’Brian (Novak pinned Conor) in 5:45. Regal said he knew that was coming because he’d done the same thing thousands of times in his career. He also called JTG “possibly the worst person in WWE, a waste of space”. Confusion or not, Regal made me want to see him destroy everyone. Novak won the match with a big boot. But I can’t wait to see Regal pulverise him.
– Maryse ran up to Yoshi backstage claiming someone had destroyed her purse and blamed Lucky. He bumped into Byron, who said he wished Yoshi spent half as much time mentoring him as chasing Maryse.
– Lucky Cannon d. Byron Saxton in 5:37. Lucky claimed to Maryse he didn’t do it before the match. This had some awkward moments. These two were on two different pages. Tyson put Lucky’s foot on the rope and Yoshi went after him. Lucky took Yoshi out and went over to Maryse, but Yoshi followed him back inside and attacked for the DQ. Pissed, Saxton laid Yoshi out, only for Lucky to lay Saxton out and stand tall.
SUPERSTARS
– Tyson Kidd d. Trent Barreta by submission in 10:20. Mat wrestling early. Crowd got on Tyson with “USA” chants. Kidd picked up the intensity a little and took control. Trent missed a crossbody and hit the ropes awkwardly. Tyson worked the midsection from there on. Fighting back, Trent hit some big moves and eventually took Tyson out with his big flip dive. Later Trent turned a super hurricanrana into a sunset flip for a nearfall. Tyson was able to trip Barreta and put him in the Sharpshooter for the win. They got a lot of time and this was a really good TV match.
– Zack Ryder d. David Hart Smith in 10:00. Smith came out in a white cowboy hat. An interesting look. Josh and Scott plugged Z True Long Island Story on commentary, so I guess WWE aren’t that mad at Zack after all. I guess them being mad makes a better story though. Smith was in control early, but Zack ran him into the ringpost before the break. Zack struggled to put Smith away though. Smith was able to hit a big superplex. The highlight was Smith delivering a big kick, doing a dance (which was amazing), a Hulk Hogan impression and a big legdrop. I simply cannot do this justice. Except in .gif form.
However Zack was able to come out with the win after holding onto the ring skirt, kicking DH twice and hitting the Ruff Ryder. Almost as importantly, this match featured the return of the “Call Me” Legdrop.
– Natalya and Gail Kim d. Melina and Alicia Fox (Gail pinned Alicia) in 5:16. Better that average Diva match. In fact, pretty good. The babyface team thwarted a double team and Gail hit Eat Defeat on Alicia for the pin. All in all a good episode of Superstars and a return to form. Recommend checking it out.
SMACKDOWN
– The opening video was updated with the new draftees. But the draft wasn’t in effect for this show. Everyone had their pretty brand shirt on though.
– Randy Orton opened the show. Smiling. And laughing. I can’t remember the last time I saw Orton so happy. He was also really over. Orton said he was back on Smackdown’s roster for the first time in 5 years. He then got serious and was going to talk about CM Punk, only for Drew McIntyre to interrupt. Drew was also happy, making me wonder if someone spiked the water supply backstage. Drew said everyone would have to wait a little longer for Drew versus Orton. No jokes, please. Drew tried to surprise Orton with the Future Shock DDT, but Orton slipped free and hit the RKO. Thanks for coming Drew.
– Orton tried to go back to his promo, but generic music played and Alex Riley came out. Riley got precisely zero words out before being RKOed. With that minor distraction gone, Orton picked up his microphone again… and was interrupted by Alberto Del Rio and crew. Alberto complimented Randy on making a good first impression. But, he was going to win the World Title at Extreme Rules and take it away to Raw. Alberto got in the ring, with Brodus and Ricardo for back-up. Christian ran out to even things up and Teddy Long came out to make a tag match for the main event. Orton and Christian against Alberto and Brodus.
– Kofi Kingston versus Sheamus was scheduled, but never happened. Sheamus jumped Kofi during his entrance and beat him around ringside. He threw him back inside and hit the Brogue Kick, then posed with the US Title.
– After commercial, Michael Cole was in the ring. Either the make-up department did a great job, or JR really beat the hell out of him on Monday, because Cole had a badly bruised lip and eye. Cole called himself Mister Wrestlemania. I hope Shawn Michaels didn’t trademark that. Cole brought out Swagger for his match.
– Sin Cara d. Jack Swagger in 3:20. It’s amazing how over Sin Cara is already. Well, actually, it’s not. It’s amazing more people haven’t been over immediately, if all it takes are some good vignettes and helpful early booking. They dimmed the lights and had blue and gold lighting on the ring for the match. I guess it helps differentiate him. Bit gimmicky for my liking though. Decent bigman-little man match. It’s clear they weren’t fully on the same page, but it’s going to take time for Cara to be on everyone’s page. Cole tried to slip Swagger a strap and Cara surprised Swagger with a victory roll. Swagger tried to attack after the match but Cara avoided it and hit a big dive for good measure.
– WWE Tag Team Championships: Big Show and Kane (c) d. Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater (Kane pinned Heath) in 3:37 to retain the titles. Rematch from last week. Bit pointless Show having a Raw shirt on, since he can be on Smackdown as Tag Champion. Slater and Gabriel were able to work over Show and looked surprisingly strong against him. All for nought as stereo chokeslams finished them off. Decent enough.
– Backstage, Khali and Runjin wished Rey luck on Raw. Jinder Mahal (from FCW) showed up and both Runjin and Khali were in awe. They must be big FCW fans.
– Rey Mysterio d. Mark Henry via DQ in 3:29. Rey cut a goodbye promo to Smackdown before the match. They had a better bigman-little man match, Rey being more experienced than Cara obviously. Henry took quite the spill over the ring steps at one point. Henry crushed Rey with an avalanche with Rey upside down in the corner. As Rey made his comeback, Cody Rhodes pulled him off the apron for the disqualification.
– Cody put a beating on Mysterio and tried to drag him through the crowd. Rey escaped, but he was sent back to ringside and in to Henry, who hit Rey with the World’s Strongest Slam. Cody then paper bagged Rey again. Good stuff.
– Michelle McCool versus Layla ended in a double countout in 0:54. They brawled straight outside and around the ring for the double countout. To be fair, the brawl was pretty energetic and the crowd chanted “Let them fight”. Layla challenged Michelle to a No DQ match at Extreme Rules. Michelle accepted but made it Loser Leaves. And, in a legendarily poor audio edit, they added ‘WWE’, since I guess Michelle just said Loser Leaves.
– Striker interviewed Christian about his Extreme Rules match. Christian brought up Alberto injuring his arm and said now was his time to fulfil his potential and earn the right to be World Champion.
– Randy Orton and Christian d. Alberto Del Rio and Brodus Clay (Orton pinned Brodus) in 11:42. Christian started with Brodus, which was pretty great. They got the heat on Orton first, then cut off Christian and worked him over as well. Del Rio took a huge backdrop over the top in the corner and they teased a tag, but Brodus held Christian at bay. A super hurricanrana on Del Rio allowed Christian to make the tag and Orton to make his comeback. Del Rio countered the RKO and tagged Brodus, but Brodus walked right into the RKO and the pin. Good main event.
TOP 5: DRAFT WINNERS
5. Daniel Bryan (Should, in theory, get more time to work on Smackdown’s midcard. Will probably become the workhorse of the show, whether he’s winning or losing.)
4. Beth Pheonix (With Kong/Kharma coming in, Beth seems a natural opponent for her on Raw. I can’t see WWE going with Gail as the person to give Kharma her first real challenge, which means Beth may wind up in the most high-profile WWE female feud in years.)
3. Sheamus (Onto the show with the dearth of top heels. If Henry’s push falters, or when WWE want to change up, Sheamus is in pole position to be thrust back into the main event picture.)
2. Mark Henry (His draft and turn has seemingly put Henry in the slot of top heel on Smackdown. Didn’t see that coming. If his WWE.com interview is anything to go by, Henry will be motivated to do well and his ECW run proved he can be an effective heel player.)
1. Sin Cara (Replacing Rey Mysterio on Smackdown seems like a huge opportunity and an investment of faith in Sin Cara. Whether him working the taped show is as big of an issue as some people make out, I don’t know. But it can’t hurt. Potential to be number two behind Orton.)
TOP 5: DRAFT LOSERS
5. Curt Hawkins (see JTG)
4. JTG (For some in the draft, Raw turns out to be a rest stop on the way to unemployment. Chuck Palumbo. The Brian Kendrick. Deuce. Both Hawkins and JTG will be hoping to avoid that fate. But it really seems like last-chance saloon. Especially for JTG. Hawkins may hope for a reunion with Ryder.)
3. Kelly Kelly (Kharma is coming. And she’s going to need victims. Pretty blonde victims.)
2. Jack Swagger (see Drew)
1. Drew McIntyre (Both Swagger and Drew, had they stayed on Smackdown, would have been in contention, with the heel side being so thin. Instead, they’re on Raw, where the heel side is stacked, putting them way down the pecking order. Really, it’s a lateral move for both considering their roles on Smackdown recently. But, not moving at all might have, ironically, been more positive for their careers.)