There has been an attack on an innocent man. There are clues pointing to who committed the act. There is a suspect. Who is going to solve this mystery? None other than Long Island Iced Z himself, the Internet Champion, Zack Ryder. He ensures that there will be hell to pay when he apprehends the assailant.
Now, I can see that some of you are perplexed. To those of you who aren’t, bear with me.
Some of you probably read the first paragraph and said, “Zack Ryder isn’t involved in any major storyline on WWE Television, what the heck is Pagano talking about?” Well, readers, the greater details of this captivating storyline aren’t being aired
on WWE TV.
Sure, you have seen the Woo Woo Woo Kid pin the United States Champion Dolph Ziggler on three separate occasions (twice on RAW in both a singles bout and a tag
team match, and then again on Smackdown! in tag team action), but to the naked eye, that isn’t much of a storyline. Well put on your glasses, readers, and look closer. Examine deeper. If it isn’t on television, where could it be? On the radio? Nope. On Broadway? Guess again. Surely it couldn’t be the internet, could it? That’s the WWE’s worst enemy! Well, actually, it is. It’s on Zack Ryder’s hit YouTube show, Z! True Long Island Story.
For the first 31 editions to his insanely popular weekly internet series, Zack Ryder’s show lacked real continuity. Aside from a small side gags (including Zack’s father’s relationship with a cardboard cutout of Melina), each episode was independent to the others. And then, along came Episode 32. In previous weeks, Dolph Ziggler had his own segment on the show, called “Ask the Heel”. This week was different, though, because that previous Monday, Ryder pinned Ziggler after he caught a Hugh Jackman haymaker to the jaw. Ziggler refused to participate in the show.
Episode 33 comes around, and it appeared as though Ziggler would deny us his presence once again. On RAW that previous Monday, Ryder once again got the 1, 2, 3 on the US Champ in a six-man tag team match. After a segment where Zack revealed hidden camera footage of his best friend and room mate, Mike Chiappetta, sleeping in his room while Zack was on the road, the screen became fuzzy and white noise is heard. Ziggler had “hacked” into the show, and answered a question as if it were “Ask the Heel”. As per usual, Ziggler puts himself over impressively. Toward the end of his rant, Ziggler trashed Ryder, saying things like “Brawler called, he wants his spot back.” White noise, and we’re back to the regular show just in time to see Ryder deliver his “Take care, spike your hair.”
Thursday of
the following week rolled around, and it was time for Episode 34. Barely a minute into the show, Ryder explains how he has now pinned Ziggler on two consecutive RAWs, but was now bumped off the show for Mason Ryan. Mid-rant, Ziggler again hacks into the show. Under a hood, Ziggler makes it clear to Ryder that he will never again get a shot at the United States Championship. He concludes his promo with, “You don’t belong. Your little show is a joke, and I’m as real as it gets,”
before pulling a transparent mask over his face. White noise is heard, and Ryder has his show back, unaware of what just happened. The usual shenanigans of the show continue, and all is well until the very end. Ryder utters his trademark “Woo woo woo!”, but before he can finish the line with a “You know it!” a dinging sound is heard. Ryder, bewildered, picks up his camera. He searches the house to find his bed-jacking best friend, Chiappetta, knocked out cold with blood streaming from his face. On his chest lies a mask identical to the one Ziggler donned earlier, as well as an “I Am Perfection” t-shirt and a steel bar to by his side. We have ourselves a legit storyline, folks.
The next week, basically the entire show pertains to the attack on Zack’s friend. Zack accuses Dolph of being responsible for his friends' injuries, who is apparently recovering from “Woo woo woo-ziness”, and promises to “Fist pump his face” and take his title belt. During an interview with Scott Stanford, Ziggler walks past the camera and denies any involvement in the attacks. The last couple seconds feature another hacking of the show, showing another shot of the attacker’s mask.
Pretty compelling for a mid-card feud, huh? I’m not sure if Creative has any involvement in the recent happenings on the hit Video Blog, but props to whoever concocted this hooking story. For one, it has me looking forward to both WWE television shows as well as Z! True Long Island Story. Secondly, its home-video vibe makes things seem incredibly personal between the two men. It also brings a breath of fresh air to the United States title, which has needed one since, what, 2004?
If this gripping storyline turns out to be the brainchild of Zack and Dolph, Creative better jump on board. I, for one, would hate to see a unique story like this one only be seen by the Internet Wrestling Community. It would be a crying shame, actually. People new to watching wrestling need to realize that feuds can go beyond the arena.
So, in conclusion, I would just like you to give Z! True Long Island Story a chance. If you don’t, you’re missing something special.