This week: The WWE's global TV bandwagon rolls into Liverpool. Home of The Beatles… uhm, there's a soccer club or two… did I mention The Beatles are from Liverpool? Because they are. So, in that spirit, it's a Hard Days Night for Cena and Orton, as Miz and Truth Get Back to winning ways, so maybe Cena does need Rock's Help! after all? That's all I've got. Thankfully. Plus, an NXT love triangle, Wade Barrett's new group of equals, Mega Powers handshakes, real man's men, and we go panty shopping with Shaq
RAW SUPERSHOW
– Since WWE was in England, they dusted off the phone box and London black cab. Unfortunately, they were in Liverpool. Which isn't London. Cena came out and got a mixed reaction. Cena said Rock “couldn't make it tonight”, but he would team with him at Survivor Series. He was annoyed everyone was talking about next week's show and Rock coming back, since he thought tonight was important as well. Cena said he and a “future WWE Hall Of Famer” would face Truth and Miz tonight. Truth and Miz interrupted. Miz admitted Cena beat him last week, but said Cena would pay and that didn't erase the fact they beat Cena down two weeks ago. Except, it kinda does. Anyway. Miz pointed out he pinned Cena at Wrestlemania. They vowed not to be embarrassed again. Truth said Cena wouldn't be laughing after tonight. Cena hyped up his partner, but Miz didn't want to hear it. They surrounded Cena, but Zack Ryder hit the ring to even the odds and they ran Miz and Truth off. Cena and Zack did the fistpump and a Mega Powers handshake.
– John Morrison d. Dolph Ziggler in 9:32. They mentioned Morrison had been on a losing streak. Even I didn't realise it was about two and a half months since he'd won. Cole claimed people from Liverpool were called “scouzers“. Close. I guess. Ziggler took the majority of the match. Pro Ziggler chants broke out at one point. Things picked up late on and after Vickie distracted the ref as Morrison had the pin, Ziggler tried to roll a distracted Morrison up, but Morrison reversed and actually won.
– Mason Ryan d. JTG in 2:23. Mason is a Welshman (or “Walesman”, if you prefer) so he was kinda sorta but not really a hometown guy here. Mason won decisively with a full nelson slam.
– Backstage, The Bellas were talking about The Beatles (did you know they're from Liverpool!) when Zack walked up, excited about teaming with Cena. And not like last time, where he got jumped from behind. The Bellas hoodwinked him into thinking someone was behind him, then high fived. Zack said it was his night and they all did his catchphrase.
– Alberto Del Rio d. Kofi Kingston by submission in 2:08. Kofi went for a suicide dive early, but Del Rio sidestepped him. Alberto went after the arm and after a brief comeback from Kofi, Del Rio avoided Trouble In Paradise and posted the shoulder, setting up the cross armbreaker. Del Rio put the armbreaker back on after the match, until Punk's music hit.
– After a break, Del Rio accused Punk of being a coward for forcing him into the match at Survivor Series. People chanted for Punk and Del Rio said the fans were a joke, just like Punk. Alberto told Punk he had been given the opportunity by John Laurinaitis to ask Punk to cancel the match. And if he didn't agree, he'd force him to. Punk said he didn't realise he had to wait in line and ask politely in WWE, so apologised disingenuously. He pointed out Del Rio became WWE Champion by cashing in his briefcase on him and beat him with a pipe at Hell In A Cell, so maybe being a cheapshot artist works. He said that's why he did what he did to Alberto. Punk mocked Del Rio's destiny speeches and said he had nothing interesting to say. Punk said he'd win at Survivor Series and make the WWE Title interesting again. Del Rio said he was the best in the world, since he was champion. He told Punk to cancel the match. Punk said no, so Del Rio attacked. Punk broke out of the armbreaker and applied the Anaconda Vice but Ricardo broke it up. Del Rio ran and Punk gave Ricardo the GTS.
– Jack Swagger d. Santino Marella by submission in 3:03. Swagger was mad about losing last week thanks to a Muppet. So Swagger got his win back here with the anklelock.
– King was in the ring to introduce Kelly Kelly, to unveil her Maxim magazine cover. Kelly did a syrupy nice girl promo about growing up in WWE and striving to be better. Before she could unveil the cover, Beth and Natalya interrupted. Beth and Natalya mocked her promo. Some jokes were exchanged. Beth said she was going to set an example that a WWE Diva was more than just a pretty face and a bucket full of perkiness. They threatened to make her cry. Eve and Eve's music hit the ring. Also, Alicia. Beth and Natalya left without a fight and the faces unveiled the giant Maxim cover. More eye-catching than Kelly's picture were the words “We Go Panty Shopping With Shaq”. If that's not a hook to an article that'll sell magazines, I don't know what is.
– John Laurinaitis came out and introduced the WWE's newest superstar signing, Kevin Nash. Nash came to the ring and thanked Laurinaitis for bringing him back. He said he owed no-one an explanation, except HHH. Nash said he should have buried HHH back in 95, but Shawn Michaels said he had something and he ended up in his Kliq. He admitted HHH won him over and they became friends. Nash said he got the biggest pop of the night at the Rumble, but HHH didn't bring him back. He said HHH betrayed him. Nash was mad about getting a “has-been Legends contract” and said he was still the best. Nash said what he did felt good. So good, he did it twice. Nash said that's how you “play the game”.
– Backstage, Laurinaitis explained to David Otunga that Brodus Clay wasn't debuting tonight because he couldn't waste him on Liverpool. Punk walked up and told him the match at Survivor Series was still on. Otunga made a jibe at Punk, so Punk laid him out. But Del Rio showed up and attacked Punk from behind. Laurinaitis threatened to take off his jacket to break things up, but referees broke it up before it got that far.
– The Miz and R-Truth d. John Cena and Zack Ryder (Miz pinned Cena) in 14:28. Crowd were split on Cena again. Fans wanted Ryder in, so they teased it for a bit before bringing Zack in. Truth took a nasty bump over the top, where the back of his head bounced. That looked like no fun whatsoever. Miz and Truth cut Cena off for a while, to set up a tag to Ryder. Cena and Ryder delivered stereo Broski boots, but Miz and Truth were able to cut off Zack moments later after Miz countered the Ruff Ryder. Cena did a great job in the corner wanting the tag and cheering on Zack. He eventually got the tag and made the big comeback, bringing Zack in to hit stereo Five Knuckle Shuffles. But Miz and Truth were able to get the win, with Truth holding down Cena's leg after a boot from Miz. Something about the finish was slightly off, because there was an edit. Not like it was a disaster though.
NXT
– Derrick Bateman, with Maxine, and Titus O'Neil, with Percy Watson, were in the ring. Bateman and Maxine wasted little time locking lips. As Striker talked about how he'd been assessing them over the past 35 weeks, Johnny Curtis interrupted. Curtis called the people who tune in every week “idiots”. That's not very nice. He said when he was on NXT, they were men, competing in challenges, not rejects. Titus threatened to kick his ass. Bateman played the “I thought we were boys” card, but Curtis said they were never friends and Maxine was too good for him. Curtis insinuated that he'd been with Maxine. She claimed they went out once but nothing happened. Striker set up Curtis and Bateman versus Titus and Percy, to Bateman's annoyance.
– Tyson Kidd d. Trent Barreta by submission in 10:47. Striker and Josh were on commentary this week. Tyson gave Barreta a slingshot into the ring post outside. Trent fought back briefly, until Tyson delivered a brutal brainbuster for a two count. The match spilled outside and Trent hit the Whisper In The Wind off the barricade. But back inside, Tyson countered a super hurricanrana into a half crab to force Trent to submit. Good match.
– BetaMax bickered backstage. Maxine brought up the skeletons in Bateman's closet. Curtis showed up and joked about Maxine not being meaningful or satisfying
. Maxine slapped him. This set Bateman off, not sure what the slap meant. He stormed off.
– The Usos walked in on JTG talking to Maxine. They said her dad wouldn't approve of him talking to JTG. JTG claimed he'd approve, because he was “super fly”. A challenge was laid out and Tamina said she'd be in JTG's corner.
– Jimmy Uso d. JTG in 5:24. JTG mocked the Usos' haka dance early on. Tamina actually distracted Jimmy, allowing JTG to gain the advantage. But Jimmy got the win with the superfly splash.
– Derrick Bateman and Johnny Curtis d. Titus O'Neil and Percy Watson (Curtis pinned Titus) in 4:39. Percy and Titus looked good early, but a distraction lead to him being cut off. Curtis and Bateman actually worked kinda well as a team. Titus made a physical comeback but as things broke down, Bateman saved Curtis from the sky high and they combined to hit a high/low double team for the win. Despite the win, Bateman declined to shake Curtis's hand after the match.
SUPERSTARS
– Justin Gabriel d. Curt Hawkins in 7:32. Hawkins is apparently over his ankle injury. He's still carrying the cane with him though. Gabriel hit a corkscrew dive, but Hawkins intercepted him coming back in and caused Gabriel's knee to get hung in the ropes. Hawkins worked the knee from there. Gabriel fought through it to mount a fightback. Hawkins almost won with a back superplex, then grabbed his cane. But Gabriel beat him to the punch with a kick and followed up with the 450.
– Alex Riley d. Michael McGillicutty in 4:17. Decent match. McGillicutty's got a lot more vocal lately. Crowd seemed to get behind Riley. Riley won with a TKO after avoiding the swinging neckbreaker of doom.
– Daniel Bryan d. William Regal in 10:13. Bryan has another new theme. Seems to change every week. Speaking of new themes, someone ribbed Regal by playing his old Real Man's Man theme during his entrance. Both Regal and Bryan seemed amused by this. It was quite awesome. Regal was obviously popular here. They had a very technical, student teacher type match. Bryan worked subtle heel since Regal was getting cheered. Bryan used the ring post to attack Regal's knee late in the match. Bryan got the win with a roundhouse kick and then the Labell Lock. After the match, Bryan shook Regal's hand and Regal raised Bryan's arm.
SMACKDOWN
– Randy Orton came out to start the show. Orton talked about being team captain at Survivor Series, saying he didn't play well with others and he'd caused a lot of groups to implode. He said he wasn't a leader, but he certainly wasn't a follower, so he had no problem being captain. He singled out Cody and Christian, which brought Wade Barrett out. Wade told Orton the problems they'd had in the past would pale in comparison to Survivor Series. Barrett said he never started as leader of his groups, but as a natural leader people gravitated towards him. He said the Barrett Barrage would continue at Survivor Series. Wade wanted Orton out of the picture, to focus on the World Title.
– Orton threatened an RKO, but Christian came out. In a neckbrace. Christian said Orton was to his team what Yoko Ono was to The Beatles. No heat. He said he was here by the grace of god after what Big Show did. Christian thanked Wade for helping him out last week. Christian claimed he was offered the chance to be captain, but declined due to his health. He endorsed Wade as captain. Christian actually said with Wade as captain, they were all equals. Yes, they are a group of equals, folks. As things threatened to get physical, Orton jumped Christian but it was two on one, until Sheamus hit the ring for the save. Teddy came out and booked Christian versus Sheamus and Orton versus Barrett for tonight. I like the idea of Orton and Wade as team captains a lot more after this promo, laying out their history in and approach to being in stables in the past.
– Sheamus d. Christian in 10:15. Christian made the mistake of slapping Sheamus and earned a beating from it. It was virtually all Sheamus, aside from Christian sending him into the post. Sheamus gave him a fallaway slam into the barricade which looked kinda terrifying. Christian managed to regain the advantage during the break regardless, briefly. Sheamus fought back and started dominating again. They exchanged big moves late on and after avoiding a spear, Sheamus got the win with the Celtic Cross.
– Kaitlyn and AJ asked Daniel Bryan what he was thinking last week. Bryan claimed he didn't know what he was doing because he was knocked silly. AJ said she was excited when she thought he might win the title and Bryan seemed intrigued. Mark Henry walked up and asked if he thought it was as easy as that to become World Champion. Bryan stood up for himself and said he'd beat him at Wrestlemania, if he was still champion. Henry said he had guts, but he'd spill them all over the ring tonight.
– In his office, Teddy told Charles Robinson to be on his game tonight. So much for saying the referee's name being “banned”. Anyway, Aksana and her sexy music came in and flirted with him. Aksana wanted a match and Teddy suggested she be in Alicia's corner to get more seasoning.
– Ted Dibiase d. Jinder Mahal in 1:06. Dibiase won quick with Dreamstreet. This happened.
– Mark Henry d. Daniel Bryan in 3:48. Booker kept talking about “the honeyz” being in Bryan's head. Henry started out strong and dominated Bryan for a while. But Bryan fought back with a missile dropkick, dropped Henry with buzzsaw kicks and actually got the Labell Lock on. Henry picked Bryan up off the mat and dropped him to escape though. Henry had the match won with a splash, but pulled Bryan up at two. Bryan dared Henry on, so Henry gave him the World's Strongest Slam for the pin.
– After the match, Henry grabbed a steel chair and went for the leg breaking. Bryan surprised him with a kick and stole the chair, giving Henry a shot across the back. But Henry didn't feel any effect and hit another two World's Strongest Slams. He set Bryan's ankle up, but Big Show ran out for the save. Henry warded Show off with the chair, then hit Bryan from behind with the chair. As he went to hit Show though, Show punched the chair out of his hands. They had a face-off and Henry left the ring. Big Show took the World Title and tossed it back to Henry. Big Show told him to watch his match and he'd show him something impressive. Not sure this did much for Bryan, but Show and Henry is what matters right now.
– Three On One Handicap Match: Big Show d. Three Nameless English Gentlemen in 1:21. The three opponents didn't get named. They also didn't last long. Big Show hit a double chokeslam on two and the third guy tried to leave, but Big Show took him back to the ring and hit the knockout punch.
– Henry said he wasn't impressed. He said he impressed Big Show when he slammed him last week and when he put him out of action. And he impressed everyone when he became World Champion. Henry said what he did at Survivor Series would be a lasting impression.
– Alicia Fox d. Tamina in 2:01. Alicia had Aksana in her corner. Rosa was in Tamina's corner. And Natalya did commentary. Alicia got the win out of nowhere with the somersault legdrop.
– Striker interviewed Sheamus. He asked about his attack last week. Sheamus said he was generally a nice guy. He liked having a laugh and claimed he didn't have a temper. Striker pushed him on it and Sheamus squared up to him, until Striker got nervous, at which point he laughed and walked off.
– Hunico and Epico d. The Usos (Hunico pinned Jey) in 2:35. Hunico and Epico had Primo in their corner and they're all now alligned. All three were dressed in street clothes. Seems to be a good move for Hunico. Primo jumped on the apron to cause a distraction and it all lead to Hunico getting the win with a swanton bomb. They jumped Jimmy afterwards for good measure, then gave Jey a triple team combo.
– Wade Barrett d. Randy Orton in 9:43. Crowd were split somewhat. Perhaps only some of Liverpool realised Barrett is from Manchester. Orton looked strong early on but Wade managed to hurdle the steel steps when whipped into them, then kicked the steps back into Orton's knee. Wade took control, after whipping Orton into the steps. Orton made his comeback, but Wade countered the RKO and after a near collision between Orton and referee, he thumbed Orton in the eye and rolled Orton up for the surprise victory.