Dan Severn. Yes, Dan Severn. Oh, and Jay Lethal defends the TV Title against El Generico, The Briscoes wrestle Caprice Coleman & Cedric Alexander, Michael Elgin faces Sean Casey and Raphael Constantine in a handicap match, and we hear from Team
Strong’s training camp.
– I’ll tell you what, I’ll stop mentioning how damn good the ‘Previously on ROH’ videos are when they stop being excellent, kay? Kyle O’Reilly looked fantastic against the champ, the entire point in their match, so everybody’s happy right? For now…
The Briscoes vs. Caprice Coleman & Cedric Alexander
Recap: Dem Boys stepped into the ring with the team they called the biggest greenhorns on the roster and wrestled them to a no-contest after shoving the referee aside during his 5-count, causing Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin to hit the ring with chairs, chasing the challengers for their titles all the way out of the building. Coleman & Alexander showed some fight, managing to execute a few of their unique moves, but ultimately the Briscoes were firmly in control by the time the match was thrown out.
Review: While this wasn’t anywhere near the train-wreck that C&C vs WGTT was, it wasn’t all that great either. I like what Coleman and Alexander bring to the table (namely a boat load of athleticism), but there’s just something a little off so far. I heard great things about their performances at Tag Team Turmoil and No Escape, so I won’t write them off yet, but based on their television work, a lot needs to be done. It certainly didn’t help that the crowd gave not one single damn about them, refusing to react to anything they did, even when it was good. The finish was fairly banal as well, with the Briscoes just deciding to put the boots to their opponents, and not even after hitting any big moves, but rather just for the sake of it. Oh, and Haas and Benjamin appearing on the scene instantly was a little strange given they’re faces and the match hadn’t ended, nor were the Briscoes mercilessly beating C&C to a pulp. Naturally the fans booed, so the whole think stank of the Kings of Wrestling vs Motor City Machineguns. Ironic. Sort of.
Michael Elgin vs. Sean Casey & Raphael Constantine
Recap: ‘Unbreakable’ Michael Elgin proved his dominance by dismantling two OVW locals at the same time, easily walking through their attempts at offense and finally putting them down with a Double Alabama Slam. Constantine was also dropped straight on his head moments before the finish and was lucky to escape uninjured.
Review: This went three minutes too long. No offense to Casey and Constantine, but they’re two of the worst wrestlers I’ve ever seen. To be fair they didn’t get much of a chance to do anything, but their mannerisms were atrocious and Constantine’s near-broken neck was mostly his own fault as he didn’t rotate after being launched for a back body drop and just fell straight down.
Inside ROH: Training Camps
– First we saw lots of footage of a very old Dan Severn training Eddie Edwards and some nameless, voiceless young wrestlers. Eddie claims he was always invited to the session and it was just that Davey had to drop out so he did nothing wrong. Then Severn delivers the most tedious little speech about having to adapt and the importance of belts and OH MY GOD he’s even more uncharismatic than when he was in the WWF, wore a plain grey t-shirt and walked silently to the ring. I can’t take it. Whose idea was this? Jim Cornette most likely. Get out of the company I love before you ruin it any further.
– Meanwhile, Roderick Strong made me actually laugh out loud by showing his training camp, a quasi-bar in Tampa complete with three random chicks. He didn’t even need to speak, the visual of him turning around mid-conversation and being handed a beer was enough to get this ridiculous, over the top frat-boy character over with me.
ROH Television Title Match
Jay Lethal vs. El Generico
Recap: Time-Limit Lethal struck again, as Jay went to his third time-limit draw in three championship matches (he won the belt in sudden-death overtime in the first, and had THAT match with Mike Bennett in his second), although this time it wasn’t really his fault as he seemingly had the match won after putting Generico down with the Lethal Combination and then the Machismo Elbow. Unfortunately for the champion however, Mike Bennett – who had been at ringside throughout the contest – distracted the referee while Lethal was pinning Generico and thus time expired and the match was declared a draw. Bennett did so after Lethal decked ‘The Prodigy’ in response to him putting the TV Title around his waist at ringside to back up his claim that he was the ‘real’ champion. After the match Lethal and Bennett brawled around the ring, so Generico took both of them out with a tope con hilo.
Review: Oy vey. These two were wrestling in front of a bunch of corpses. Generico, one of indie wrestling’s post popular performers had to beg, BEG, the crowd for a reaction at a few points in the match, and it was only when he was kicking Lethal’s face clean off in the corner that they gave a darn. The match was hardly a tour-De-force or anything, with a few spots recycled from their last meeting, but there was plenty there to get excited about, and Lethal’s performances seem to be getting better. The match was perfectly fine, but the complete lack of heat sucked most of the fun out of it, and Mike Bennett’s ringside antics and yet another time-limit draw destroyed what was left. I can’t say I like the way they’re taking the TV Title, with Generico losing it on his first defense, Lethal unable to win a match within allotted time, and Bennett… just being anywhere near it. I think it’s pretty obvious Bennett is winning the title at Final Battle, which means he’s going to become even more unbearable in 2012. Le sigh.
Overall Thoughts
– Words can’t describe how disenchanted I am with Ring of Honor lately. Sure, there have been plenty of good wrestling matches on the TV show over the last three months, but the Jim Cornette effect has been felt in a big way. We all know how I feel about Haas and Benjamin so let’s not go there. Instead, let’s focus on how desparate Cornette is to create a hybrid of modern MMA and 70s & 80s territorial wrestling, and how ill-fitting it is to this product. How far out of control Davey Richards has gotten. How Dan freakin’ Severn is involved. How Mike Bennett is being surgically implanted into our stomachs, bypassing the throat altogether. How Jay Lethal can’t win a match within allotted time. How El Generico is being criminally mismanaged. How Kevin Steen, the most in demand wrestler of 2011 has taken so long to return that it’s almost taken the buzz out of it. How the company decided to put on an 80-minute tag match. How Mike Mondo gets to be in matches against jobbers. How TJ Perkins has been booked.
– Oh, this episode wasn’t very good if you didn’t guess. C&C vs the Briscoes was brief and had an awful ending. Michael Elgin’s squash lasted far too long. Dan Severn appeared. Lethal and Generico had only a so-so match that Mike Bennett got involved in, leading to yet another draw. Next week had better be REALLY good.