The Ring of Honor merchandise express didn’t stop in the time that I was away from writing columns. Lots of DVDs were published and released including plenty of compilation and Best-ofs, providing a jumping-on point for newer fans that discovered ROH through the Sinclair Broadcast Group’s syndicated television series. T-shirts, Hoodies and Caps all followed, of course, some sporting the newest ROH logo and some being individual wrestlers’ shirts ROH hoped the fans would choose to purchase and wear.
Selling wrestler T-shirts is not so easy these days. Sure, in the Attitude Era, everyone in the popular culture thought it was cool if you had an “Austin 3:16” or “nWo” shirt. Now? Not so much. The problem is that many wrestling shirts look absolutely horrible-either too obviously about a wrestler or wrestling, which is not popular or in style, or too ugly a design.
The marketplace is also more crowded than ever. A few years ago websites like barbershopwindow.com and topropetuesday.com began to sell mock culture wrestling shirts, with take-offs on both vintage and modern wrestlers and angles from all eras. These shirts usually sport hipper styles, don’t seem like obvious wrestling shirts or are ironic enough to merit at least some form of acceptability to wear in public. However, there are a lot and I mean A LOT of shirts to choose from, and at $15-$20 apiece, customers will not be able to get everything.
A more somewhat recent development has been wrestlers selling their own shirts through various “do-it-yourself” style websites like prowrestlingtees.com, which front them the web space and allow them to print up the designs to order. The Young Bucks, Kevin Steen and Colt Cabana have done very well for themselves in this avenue. They created (or approved of) cool designs that could sell and they keep pumping them out due to high demand and their own personal popularity.
So with all that in mind, let’s see what Ring of Honor has been developing as far as new T-shirt merchandise ideas and if they are worth picking up at the next arena house show near you:
Briscoe Brothers’ Keep Calm and Man Up:
I don’t think anyone can escape the UK World War II poster-inspired “Keep Calm and Carry On” movement. When I went to New York Comic-Con last year, it seemed just about any and every franchise you could think of was represented in the form of a “Keep Calm” shirt.
It was puzzling that it took Ring of Honor so long to hop on board the Carry-On train, but when they did so they picked the right wrestlers and the right catchphrase to use. I don’t think The Briscoe Brothers would wear a Keep Calm variation with Vader or Spock on it, but I do think they would approve this one, with the message to “Keep Calm and Man Up” only strengthening their own iconic saying. The cartoon drawing of Jay and Mark are also about as cute and cuddly an image of The Briscoes as you’re going to get for a bunch of beer-drinking Southern Delwarian chicken-farmers who like to wear Confederate Flag clothing and say controversial things. Although, they don’t have eyes…so maybe it’s kind of creepy instead.
Not surprisingly, The Briscoes have become one of the most merchandised acts in ROH, because of their longevity and their characters’ appeal. Of course that doesn’t always mean they have the greatest shirts out there. Witness the “#DEMBOYS” Camo-shirt:
First of all, ain’t no hashtags or cell reception in the forest. I mean, I guess if you want to go hunting and seek to blend into your environment, sure this T-shirt works just as well as any other Camo. In a city space? Not so much. The harsh orange of the lettering also is a deterrent-I dare anyone to stare at it longer than ten seconds and not go blind, like staring at the sun. No, orange never really works for a wrestling shirt, isn’t that right Paparazzi Productions?
Boy, did Alex Shelley get the short-end of the stick when TNA released that shirt. I mean, “eye spy” – yeah, I spy with my own eyes an ugly shirt. It doesn’t even mention his name on it or anything.
…
Why, yes I did buy that shirt, why are you asking? I mean, look I wanted to support Shelley’s burgeoning TNA career at the time, but that doesn’t mean I wore the damned thing in public.
Okay, maybe I did once or twice, but we don’t talk about those times.
Moving on…
Hey, AJ Styles is back in Ring of Honor, and it follows suit that ROH would want to capitalize on that and start hocking those shirts. So here is the first one about The Phenomenal One- “No Place Like Home”:
Well, on the one hand, it has both the ROH logo and AJ Styles’ own branded “P1” logo, so it’s almost like getting two shirts for the price of one. On the other hand, this is a harsher styles clash than the ones AJ has been delivering in the ring as of late. What, too soon? Low blow? I don’t know man; you tell me if that statement was worse than the spray paint run off on the front of the shirt and the outdated font style on the back.
You should buy this shirt if you’re an AJ Styles fan. If you’re an ROH fan, buy this one only if you think AJ Styles will be back “home” longer than six months.
Next we have The Decade’s first shirt and man is it…something:
Yes, Roderick Strong, Jimmy Jacobs and BJ Whitmer formed a faction about being veterans in ROH, not leaving and demanding respect from both the fans in attendance at the shows and the younger wrestlers on the roster. You can clearly see this message on display through this T-shirt. What, you can’t? Oh that’s right, because this shirt has almost nothing to do with The Decade’s agenda and message.
On the other hand, if you think The Decade’s message has something to do with the American dollar bill and / or The Illuminati, well then; you definitely want to pick this one up right up.
Man, The Illuminati, why didn’t I think of that in the first place? It explains so much about Jimmy Jacobs, ROH, everything. Maybe I should stop before they force me too…and by “they” I mean Immortal.
Michael Elgin has a new T-shirt extolling the virtues of “Business up front, party in rear.” That’s how the saying goes, right? The “Fear the Mullet” shirt is a rip-off send-up of Daniel Bryan’s “Respect the Beard” shirt, which means T-shirts about men’s hair is now no longer exclusive to WWE. It’s SPREADING and CONTAGIOUS!
I do like the grey color and caricature used for Elgin, but am I the only one concerned he doesn’t have the use of his eyes on this shirt? That makes two new shirts where the wrestlers’ eyes aren’t represented. What the heck is it with ROH-are they a bunch of sicko freaks who remove their wrestlers’ eyes when they are not using them? Man…I don’t know if I can support this company moving forward.
Also, officially right here I want to declare that yes, I do fear the mullet. I am afraid, very afraid.
Cue “Jaws” music here.
Okay, so summing it all up, pick up the “Keep Calm and Man Up” design. Pass on the Camo Briscoes shirt unless you’re going to play some Deer Hunter video games or listen to the Steve Austin podcast “for the working man.” Buy the AJ Styles shirt ONLY IF you are a member of AJ Styles’ family or in fact AJ Styles. Skip Go and DO NOT COLLECT two hundred dollars for The Decade shirt and hope they get a better one more representative of their agenda (like I don’t know, maybe an image of Adam Page being hazed Animal-House style with a Singapore cane). Get the Elgin Mullet shirt if you like mullets, Elgin Mode or faces without eyes.