“Monster On The Loose”
It’s good to be back. I can see from the witty show title that TNA hasn’t lost its creativity while I was gone. Hulk Hogan makes his way to the ring. He announces that there will be a fatal four way at Victory Road for the TNA World Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Abyss vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Mr. Anderson. Abyss interrupts and says that he changed his behavior because “they” told him to. “They” are coming and will be here sooner than we think. Hogan asks who “they” are but Abyss isn’t spilling the beans. Abyss gives one more warning and starts choking Hogan. He puts the Hall of Fame ring into Hogan’s mouth and continues to choke him. Abyss pours pieces of glass in the ring. Rob Van Dam runs out to make the save. He thrust kicks Abyss but gets caught with a powerbomb. Mr. Anderson now enters the scene and hits Abyss with a chair. Anderson pulls RVD and Hogan to safety. So Hogan swallowed his own Hall of Fame ring? Yep, TNA definitely hasn’t lost its creativity.
After a commercial, Hogan is in his office with Eric Bischoff. They talk about Abyss and wonder what got into him. I guess Hogan didn’t swallow the ring. But honestly, this is TNA, I had reasonable cause to believe something like that would happen.
Madison Rayne and Velvet Sky are in the bathroom. They can’t find Lacey Von Erich and Rayne doesn’t seem to care. Rayne yells at Sky, who walks away.
Opening Match: Angelina Love vs. Velvet Sky
Love spears Sky on the floor. Sky sends her into the ring steps and connects with some punches back in the ring. Sky hits the Skyliner but Love comes back with a superkick. Love grabs a chair and takes Sky down with a bicycle kick. Sky answers with a flapjack and goes for a DDT onto the chair. Love counters and hits a DDT onto the chair, causing a disqualification at 3:33. Used for storyline purposes and was fine for what it was. ½*
Jay Lethal is in his locker room. Someone tells him that he has a visitor. Lethal’s brother walks in and they have a moment. Lethal directs him to catering.
A commercial break happens now. The last advertisement before returning to Impact was for liquor, no joke. Speaking of liquor, Kevin Nash and Eric Young are backstage discussing Scott Hall. Nash says that he needs to distance himself from Hall.
Matt Morgan makes his way to the ring. He claims that he’s not afraid of Hernandez and calls him out. Taz reveals that Hernandez is currently in Mexico. No one comes out and Morgan announces that he will face Hernandez in a steel cage at Victory Road. Homicide attacks Morgan from behind. Morgan fights him off and Carbon Footprints his head into the ringpost.
AJ Styles is backstage with Ric Flair. Styles asks if his package came and Flair tells him to shut up.
Match #2: Kazarian vs. Jay Lethal
Kazarian leapfrogs the referee and attacks Lethal in the corner. He hits a gutwrench suplex and a modified alabama slam. Kazarian continues to control with a springboard leg drop. Cameras show Ric Flair and AJ Styles attacking Lethal’s brother backstage. They don’t look to be in catering, so Lethal’s brother didn’t follow his directions. Lethal comes back with a handspring elbow but walks into a clothesline. They trade strikes and Kazarian hits the Wave of the Future for a nearfall. Lethal escapes a piledriver and hits the Lethal Injection for the win at 5:08. They received a good amount of time by Impact standards and put on a decent match. **
Ric Flair calls out Lethal from backstage. Lethal witnesses Flair and Styles beating up his brother. He runs to the back.
Jeff Jarrett comes out for his match against Sting. Sting is nowhere to be seen but cameras show him in the rafters. Jarrett goes up the rafter steps and starts brawling with Sting. The problem is…it’s a fake Sting. The real Sting appears in the ring. Jarrett brawls with the fake Sting into the ring. The real Sting starts choking Jarrett with his baseball bat. Sting continues to attack Jarrett with the bat and leaves him laying in the middle of the ring.
Match #3: Desmond Wolfe vs. Kurt Angle
TNA did nearly nothing with the “Abyss has the rights to Chelsea for 30 days” storyline. Wolfe is ranked #9 in the TNA rankings system and doesn’t get an entrance. They trade control on the mat. Wolfe avoids a charge and Angle collides with the ringpost. Wolfe starts working over the left shoulder. Angle comes back with a belly to belly suplex and rolling german suplexes. Wolfe counters an Angle Slam into a divorce court. Angle escapes a Tower of London and hits an Angle Slam. Angle applies an ankle lock for the victory at 7:02. This was simply an abridged version of their previous matches. Considering the participants, it was a solid match. If TNA truly wanted to deliver something worthwhile on Impact, they would have made this the main event and given it fifteen minutes or so. **½
Douglass Williams is in the ring. He needs to reeducate the X Division wrestlers in the art of professionalism and sportsmanship. Brian Kendrick comes out and announces that he will challenge for the X Division Title at Victory Road in an Ultimate X Match. As a special stipulation, the match can also end by submission. Oh TNA…how creative of you. Williams tries a sneak attack but Kendrick catches him in a cobra clutch.
Abyss is backstage. He says that his actions are because “they” told him to. “They” told him to break Jeff Hardy, choke Hulk Hogan, and destroy everything in his path. Once “they” come, there will be no stopping them.
Backstage, cameras show Shannon Moore brawling with Brother Ray. Jesse Neal is laid out on the side. Devon yells at Ray for his actions and tells him to leave Neal alone.
Match #4: James Storm and Robert Roode vs. Shannon Moore and Jesse Neal
Moore comes out alone. He snaps off a hurricanrana on Roode and fights off his opponents. Tommy Dreamer appears in the crowd with Stevie Richards and Raven. Wait…DR. STEVIE!?! Oh, never mind. Beer Money take over as Jesse Neal staggers down to ringside. Moore bulldogs Roode and makes the tag. Neal cleans house. Moore sends Roode to the floor and follows out with a dive. Storm hits a lungblower on Neal, who almost catches him with a quick rollup. Storm spits beer into Neal’s face and Beer Money follow with the DWI for the win at 5:47. I could see these two teams having a good match. However, the Neal attack and Tommy Dreamer appearance provided too much of a distraction. On the bright side, Beer Money vs. Motor City Machine Guns at Victory Road should be worthwhile. *½
AJ Styles and Kazarian are arguing backstage. Styles finally receives his package, which contains his new action figure. Well…that was an exciting payoff.
Match #5: Falls Count Anywhere: Abyss vs. Mr. Anderson
Anderson wastes no time in taking the fight to Abyss. He connects with some punches and grabs a chair. Abyss punches the chair into his face and takes control in the ring. Anderson drop toe holds him onto a propped up chair and then connects with a chair shot. Anderson slides under the ring and comes back out with a kendo stick. He attacks Abyss with it but ends up being whipped into the entrance ramp. They tease a chokeslam onto the exposed floor. In the ring, Abyss attacks Anderson with a chair but jumps into a chair-assisted low blow. Anderson finds knees on a swantan attempt. Abyss throw shim into a chair and hits Shock Treatment for the victory at 7:55. This was a fairly uninspired weapons brawl. The fact that they used weapons meant that the Impact crowd obviously ate it up. However, the action was pretty dull and it’s a shame that this was longer than Wolfe/Angle. *
Abyss throws Anderson onto the entrance ramp after the match. Anderson crawls up the ramp and Abyss chokeslams him off the stage. Hulk Hogan appears behind Abyss and hits him with a chair. Hogan and Abyss stare each other down to end the show.
Overall: This was an unusual week for Impact. Instead of some highs and many lows, everything just came off as “fine”. That makes for a pretty boring episode. Angle and Wolfe have a solid match but definitely needed more than seven minutes to work with. Everything else was just there. You could just read the recap and be perfectly content.
