Pushing Puroresu: Fantasies & Stables

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It’s been far too long since I’ve written a new Pushing Puroresu column. Don’t get used to it, though. I’m going to try and do this more often than, say, every seven months, but I’ve been down on puro as of late so inspiration is at an all-time low. That said, I got a long one for you here. As with almost every year, Dragon Gate has begun their shake-up of the status quo. The things that draw me into DG so much, the heated alliances and feuds all built upon personal histories and the Risk-esque building of small militias, are the very things that can grow stale. With a roster as intimate as Dragon Gate’s, both in comfortability and relative size, it cannot afford to be seen as dated or stale. It is undeniable that Naruki Doi & Masato Yoshino could go on tagging for years and years with great success, but it would be wasting the talents two extremely gifted individuals in one unit. They have finally separated, Doi turning on Yoshino and effectively ending both the Deep Drunkers & WORLD-1 all by his lonesome. Doi is now a heel and has expressed great jealousy towards Yoshino, who he felt should have stuck to being the Robin to his Batman. Fact is that Yoshino holds DG’s told prize, the Open the Dream Gate championship. Doi is unquestionably the greatest Dream Gate champ in Dragon Gate history and he wants it back. This is not a relationship that will be reconciled anytime soon. Both men appear primed to head new factions, but Doi has the upperhand as, despite not having a name yet, his players are almost all in place. But this unit shake-up stretches beyond the implosion of Speed Muscle. Gamma has been acting out and may alienate his WARRIORS teammates. YAMATO is on a big losing streak right now and, as history shows, he has a knack for unexpected and violent turns. And then there’s the biggest question of all: what do you do with BxB Hulk, the third Musketeer of WORLD-1 and a man whose stock has fallen both in storyline and in the eyes of many fans? Here’s my take on the whole situation, where I think guys should end up, what DGUSA wrestlers would make good representatives in each faction, and why.
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We’ll start off with an easy one. With so much shuffling going on, KAMIKAZE needs to stay intact for now. YAMATO has shown no signs of real frustration while on this skid, so it’s not like they’re teasing something yet. If anything, the group will only get stronger with KAGETORA proving to be more than just the fall guy and Akira Tozawa getting a lot of solid experience in the States. Taku Iwasa suddenly returning from injury may necessitate a change, but they are fine as is for now. However, as with Kamikaze USA, I’d like to see more of an edge from Shingo Takagi, Cyber Kong & company. With Doi heading up a legion of Outlaw-esqe cheaters and schemers, it’d be nice if this group of apt heels showed a different kind of bad guy, one that Mr. Takagi is particularly adept at portraying. Cocky, cruel, brutally stiff and completely aware of how truly gifted they are. As appealing as I find the idea of Kong as a WARRIOR, this group should remain unaffected and start getting in touch with their inner Jericho. As for the DGUSA reps, this one’s easy. Jon Moxley and Gran Akuma are already in K-USA so there’s not much of a discussion to be had. Akuma’s clearly the weaker of the two, and Brodie Lee fits like a glove here, but the American unit’s been set and there’s no real reason to change things now…but can we get some Cyber Kong in DGUSA already?!
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Naruki Doi’s new crew is quite the ragged one. Takuya Sugawara & Yasushi Kanda cannot be relied on for a competent singles match-up and Kzy has a lot of needed seasoning left ahead of him. Naoki Tanisaki, however, has been on fire for quite a while now. His offense really lends to a heelish persona, so he should excel in his new position as Doi’s right-hand man. If this group is going to work, I feel it needs a least one more strong presence who can also still work a match. While YAMATO would be a very fun choice, it would also devalue him far too much. A permanent Darkside Hulk could be pretty epic if he’s treated like an uncaged animal alongside Doi & Tanisaki, but I doubt Dragon Gate could be sold on that. The answer here, as much as it pains me to say, is Gamma. He’s been after K-ness for a while now, pushing his own tag partner and best friend CIMA away to get his hands on him. I hate the idea of breaking up the endlessly lovable Osaka06 tag team, but this group needs another top bad guy to back Doi up, a role Gamma has played in the past. It feels a little like Muscle Outlaw'z 2010 since almost everyone here was an Outlaw at one point or another. However, Sugawara adds to the mix perhaps the most hated man in Dragon Gate, Tanisaki is light-years ahead of where he was just a few years ago and Kzy is only going to get better and better in this kind of role. There’s little feud conflict here with Gamma joining up, especially since Doi seems so willing to party up with guys that could have done serious damage to him in their struggles the past few weeks. For their DGUSA reps, Chuck Taylor & Johnny Gargano, tag team partners in F.I.S.T. already, would slip perfectly into a group of fellow nefarious, no-good rudos.
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When the WARRIORS-5 hit the scene, I wanted them gone almost instantly. I found their tweener tactics annoying and behind the times. Now, from a pure enjoyment standpoint, this may be my favorite faction. Ryo Saito & Genki Horiguchi are experiencing rebirths as members of the WARRIORS, drawing cheers and praise they haven’t heard in years. Dragon Kid is a DG icon, one of the most recognizable members of the roster. He is still just as fluid and fun as he’s ever been. CIMA is, of course, the gas that makes the Dragon Gate car go. An ambassador all over the world for DG and its style, he has really turned things up since returning from injury. He has added more strikes to his arsenal and adjusted his faction to be not just successful, but supremely entertaining as well. A loss like Gamma is not an easy one to fix, as I have him turning back to his devilish ways. However, the last thing we need is another CIMA/Gamma feud. It was great, it was finished properly, and it should stay dead. It’s a simple, though emotionally challenging fix. Gamma apologizes to CIMA, saying that being the bad guy, “is my nature”. No low blows, no blood…just two friends realizing they are on different paths. Gamma’s still bad and CIMA’s still the ultimate face, but when they fight each other from then on, it’s all about respect. No cheating from Gamma, no crowd-appeals from CIMA. It’s two brothers going to war. Only problem is…CIMA needs a new bestest buddy! I think Don Fujii has played it serious for long enough. His tag team with Mochizuki was pretty awesome these past couple years or so, but Fujii only has a few truly good years left in that body. They should be spent teaming with CIMA as an official WARRIORS member. And for cripes sake, add Super Shenlong to the party already! It may not be perfect but this group needs some youth on its side! At the very least, it would allow someone other than a big name to play fall guy. As for its DGUSA reps, the high-octane Ricochet has already been added to the group. CIMA loves him a crazy flyer, and Ric fits that bill perfectly. But this is CIMA here; he deserves another big name along side of him. I originally had Homicide here as I think he fits very well here, but ROH is probably already building long-term plans for him. In doing so, Austin Aries has been shown the Door of Honor for now, leaving plenty of room in his schedule to fight alongside CIMA in DGUSA. Aries was originally a New Hazard rep, so that may have to be rectified somehow, but the potential of a CIMA/Aries tag team is too good to pass up. If “A Double” becomes unavailable, former MO’z member Arik Cannon would also be an exciting complement as a WARRIOR.
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Here’s where things get really interesting: Masato Yoshino’s faction. This is the group that inspired this column. When I read the results of this past week’s Korakuen show and saw that WORLD-1 was finished, I was shocked. When Doi told Kenichiro Arai to hit the bricks, I was intrigued, as I am the world’s biggest Araken fan. When I saw that K-ness & Susumu Yokosuka came to the aid of Yoshino, an idea burst in my brain. Doi pinned Tanisaki, supposedly breaking up the Drunkers…but then he joins them afterward and just has to abandon the name? That excuse is plenty good enough for me to justify reuniting a large portion of Final M2K. Yokosuka has finally figured out how to rectify the gaping holes in his game. He has never looked more intense, his lariats more devastating. He sells offense now! Really well, too! K-ness is at 100% again and Araken is just a guilty pleasure of mine. I’m pleased. YAMATO was also in the group; in fact, it was his first group. In a fun twist of fate, I see no reason outside of some unknown political or development issues that young Takuya Tomakomai couldn’t be an asset here. If not him, than perhaps this is the place that the promising Kotoka will land. The biggest piece, however, lies in Masaaki Mochizuki. Since I have Gamma leaving CIMA with Fujii leaving Mochi to replace Gamma, it leaves him without a partner or partners. Like Yokosuka, he is in a Renaissance thanks to Dragon Gate’s shift towards more traditional strong-styles elements of puroresu. Some would say that Yoshino leading a group of strikers doesn’t make sense. I say that it makes him stand out, makes him the clear leader of this faction. I envision this as a much more serious face group, much like KAMIKAZE is now. It would highlight Yoshino’s fast-paced offense and newfound leadership to command a squad of bad-asses. This is that squad. Mochizuki might have to do a little apologizing to K-neSuka for showing consistent disrespect these last few months, but that’s not a major hurdle. It would take away a few awesome challengers to Yoshino's belt, but that may just be the best way to convince Mochi to sign up: beat him for the Dream. Add in big, hard-hitting Brodie Lee & scrappy, ruthless Jimmy Jacobs reuniting from their Age of the Fall days as DGUSA reps and you have the makings of one helluva unit.
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Yeah, I know. Just listen, okay?! BxB Hulk is in dire need of a refocus and rebirth. I sincerely believe he’ll end up either being Yoshino’s flunkie in his unit or a cog in the WARRIORS machine, both of which make less sense than him leading this merry band of misfits. I feel, despite having big flaws and being widely panned as the Open the Freedom Gate champion, that he deserves better than that. If Doi can keep the Drunkers intact just by changing the name, I can damn sure reunite Pos.HEARTS under the same premise. After leaving Dragon Gate briefly and returning, Anthony W. Mori has been dropped and forgotten on the bottom rung of only a handful of cards. Super Shisa, after winning the Brave Gate earlier this year, is once again a fall guy in the Veteran’s Army. I believe they deserve another shot at the spotlight just like Hulk. If Pos.HEARTS was initially created to help push Hulk, perhaps a reunion could come together to push Kotoka in the same sense. Also add in PAC, who should be doing more than just the requisite flying. He is the current Brave Gate champion, and a starring role in Hulk’s group post-title could keep him relevant in this fast-paced, creative group. I can already picture Hulk's uranage into PAC’s corkscrew moonsault off BxB’s back into a Hulk standing SSP. Those two as a regular partnership makes my brain drool with possibilities. Mark Haskins & Shisa Boy stay with their respective partners, of course. This would not be a hard group to get over, either: young, high-flying wrestlers meet their resilient, elder counterparts. They’d be faces in the same way Doi’s group will be heels: wholly & absolutely. No storyline and feud issues here either, at least none that’d require more than a handshake or a hug. With such a unique group of air devils and lucha-inspired mat grapplers, the Chikara Sekigun would be marvelous regular additions to this group. Jigsaw, Hallowicked, Frightmare, The Osirian Portal: all talented guys in need of time to truly reach their potential. Hulk could still travel to DGUSA solo and tag with Quack & friends, plus Shisa Boy or Kotoka could make an extended run in Chikara just as Tozawa is in PWG. Everybody wins. Reestablishing BxB Hulk in the role that made him loved, the spry yet confident über babyface, is crucial. Sure, the group would accrue a lot of losses, but squeaky good guys don’t needs wins to get over. They need heart, determination, and potential to grow. That’s what Hulk has always represented, and that’s where he should, as Shingo told him after shaving him bald, start over again.
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Well, there they are. Did I get something wrong? Am I crazy? What would you do in this situation? Feel free to comment below with your own fantasy DG stables or how you’d handle this game-changing shake-up! Then again, everything could be decided by the time you’re reading this. When it all shakes out, I expect to be dead wrong about almost everything, especially the stuff with Hulk. Part of the fun is being wrong, learning which way they’re going and seeing it all unfold every week on Infinity. Now, if only someone would start uploading the damn episodes again, I can stop putting dents in the walls with my forehead. Until next time, this is Justin Houston saying, “SOMEONE UPLOAD INFINITY OR I’M GOING TO KILL KATHERINE HEIGL. ERRR…WAIT…I’LL CLONE KATHERINE HEIGL! YEAH, THAT’S IT!”
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