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CHIKARMY Insider is here to kiss da boo boo! I know you’re like me and just DEVASTATED that Furry Vengeance not only lost out on Best Picture at the Oscars, but wasn’t even nominated. I mean, it’s a movie about Brendan Frasier battling wildlife, Brooke Shields and the urge to hang himself. What’s not to love? Anyway, to take your mind off such an injustice I’ve got King of Trios news, updates on DGUSA & EVOLVE, and a complete rundown on the current Chikara cards coming to you in TWO WEEKS! You’d have to be insane in the membrane (insane in da brain) not to be excited! WORD!
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HUGE King of Trios Updates!
Over half of this year’s King of Trios field has been announced. Some have garnered praised, some have left heads scratching and one team in particular unwrapped a whole carton of awesome. F.I.S.T. (Icarus, Chuck Taylor & Johnny Gargano), The Colony (Fire Ant, Soldier Ant & Green Ant), The Osirian Portal (Amasis, Ophidian & Hieracon), Da Soul Touchaz (Acid Jaz, Marshe Rockett & Willie Richardson) and The Throwbacks (Dasher Hatfield, Sugar Dunkerton & Matt Classic) were great choices, but none were surprising. The team of Mike Quackenbush, Jigsaw and Manami Toyota, however, caught a lot of people off guard. The next two announcements, The Dark Army of Sinn Bodhi, Obariyon & Kodama and a Tim Donst-led Team BDK, were surprising for different reasons. Most people figured Kobald would be in Bodhi’s spot. Donst is not just leading the only BDK, but he’s choosing his partners as well. (He has not done so yet.) Team Australia (Percy T, Kabel and Tama Williams) was…uh…let’s move on. The tenth and most recently announced team is a trio of legends: The Great Sasuke, Dick Togo and Jinsei Shinzaki, joining forces for Team Michinoku Pro! A tournament featuring Sasuke, Matt Classic, Manami Toyota and Kizarny could only be found in Chikara! Remember: Trios takes place April 15th, 16th and 17th in Philadelphia at the Asylum Arena. As we get closer to King of Trios time, you can expect a full write-up on every tournament team to appear in this column!
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The Band is Coming In To March!
The speculation has been all over the place. Video after video was released hyping the debut of someone or something called The Band. Is it Diesel, Razor Ramon & the 1-2-3 Kid? Could it be Lance Rock, Jimmy Rave and Christy Hemme? IS IT NICKELBACK?!?! Well, after this video hit the Chikara Office YouTube page, I think we can all safely assume that it’s…you know………BAH! I was waiting for you to say something! I have no milky frigid clue what the Canuck this is! Regardless, Chikara has tasked Eddie Kingston with confronting The Band in Williamsport on March 12th. Let’s hope this Band is good, otherwise “The War King” might send them packing to 1985 with more backhands than a five set match between Richard Gasquet and David Nalbandian. Yeah, that’s a tennis joke.
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The Stars of Chikara, on the Campaign Trail!
With a mysterious singles title coming soon to a Chikara near you, many of Chikara’s top wrestlers are lobbying for shot at the belt on Chikara’s Blog. Since Win Vavasseur decreed that the Chikara locker room would vote on its own challengers, folks have come out asking for votes, begging for votes and even declaring who they’ve voted for. “I don’t care what I have to do, I want in.” Vin Gerard wrote, “Jigsaw, I’ll quit calling you fat on Twitter. Vote for me. Dasher, I’m the one that stole your baseball jersey, sorry, I’ll return it. Vote for me. Sugar, how does courtside at the Harlem Globetrotters sound? Vote for me. Mantis, I will help you fight off the BDK or whoever is mad at you this week. Seriously, vote for me. Frightmare, I’ll…teach you English, something, anything. fiohVOTEiohsdgfiosdhgFORdiohdgiohsdMEdsdigo. Tecnicos, Rudos, name your price. You got it. Vote for me. I’ll get you it.” UltraMantis Black revealed that he was voting for Hallowicked, as well as revealing who Incoherence voted for: “As most of you know, Hallowicked has little time or use for such modern niceties as “internet blogs.” Moreover, facing a language barrier such as he does, it certainly does seem prudent that I provide my services in translation to the masses, as I am one of a very select few who is capable of communicating with the man. So it is with great honor and humility that I reveal Hallowicked’s choice in this campaign: the great and devious, UltraMantis Black. Yes, I am both touched and humbled. Furthermore, as Frightmare also faces many challenges in grasping the complexities of the King’s English, it is my understanding that he too has thrown his full support behind UMB. No need to pursue this matter any further with these, my two mighty allies. Rest assured, I have provided you with a frank and accurate interpretation of their own words. So there you have it friends – 1 vote for Hallowicked, 2 votes for UltraMantis.” Green Ant, citing the campaign slogan “VOTE GREEN”, also humbly asked for votes. Finally, it was Brodie Lee who said, “[No] one in CHIKARA is more prepared, better equipped or more deserving for a CHAMPIONSHIP SINGLES TITLE than the Big Rig. Those are the facts.”
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DGUSA and EVOLVE Updates!
With DGUSA coming to North Carolina on April 1st and Atlanta, GA on April 2nd & April 3rd, many of Chikara’s top stars are coming with them! Burlington, NC will see the rivalry between Chuck Taylor and Ricochet add yet another chapter as they team with former Rey de Voladores entrant PAC and YLC VIII participant Akira Tozawa respectively in a must-see match. Meanwhile, F.I.S.T. and Ronin member Johnny Gargano will face off against CIMA while Arik Cannon will also be in action! April 2nd will see CIMA, Naruki Doi & Ricochet take on Taylor, Gargano & Rich Swann in a Grudge DG Six-Man, PAC will face Akira Tozawa in a much-anticipated contests and both Brodie Lee & Cannon will see action, too. On the final day, Masato Yoshino & PAC will put the Open the United Gate on the line against CIMA & Ricochet, all of Ronin will be in action as well as Lee and Cannon. More info and talent will be announced soon! I’ll be at both Atlanta shows, 3rd Row Golden Circle! Woo-Hoo! Also returning soon will be EVOLVE with its 7th show! Taylor, Gargano and Tozawa have already been announced alongside several other DGUSA regulars for the Tuesday show at the BB King Blues Club & Grill in Manhattan!
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It is a very rare day when Willie Richardson stands across the ring in one on one competition against an opponent even larger than himself. At six foot three and a scone shy of three hundy, the man known as “Da Bomb” outweighs all but one member of the BDK. In the case of Daizee Haze, he’s over twice her size. However, the one man who is heftier than Willie is the same man who will be facing Richardson in Williamsport: Tursas. As the muscle of The Bruderschaft and one third of last year’s King of Trios winner, Tursas is used to bullying his opponents. Demolishing the likes of Greg Iron, Grizzly Redwood, Player Dos and Green Ant is no small feat, but if you’re a 6’7” monster, it’s more akin to checkers than chess. Toss wrestlers around, bully opponent to the mat, splash him after winning and repeat. Against Willie however, he won’t be tossing him around or bullying him to the mat. For the first time in his career, Tursas will have to rely on more than brute strength if he wants to beat his opponent. For Richardson, it’s more than just a match though; Tursas was the man who injured trainer and mentor C.Red, forcing him into retirement. Willie doesn’t just want to win the match. He’ll look to make Tursas and the BDK suffer.
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Ever since Amasis & Ophidian teamed up with Hieracon, they have been an unstoppable force as we get ever-closer to King of Trios. Holding six-man wins over a BDK team, the new and improved F.I.S.T. and last year’s KOT runner-up The Colony, The Osirian Portal will now set its sights on a fellow 2011 King of Trios entrants Sinn Bodhi, Obariyon & Kodama. At Clutch of Doom, Obariyon & Kodama teamed with fellow Batiri member Kobald to defeat Incoherence and UltraMantis Black. Here and at Trios, it’ll be their trainer and Dark Army leader Sinn Bodhi taking Kobald’s place. These teams are not strangers to one another either. It was Ophidian who knocked Obariyon out of last year’s Young Lions Cup tournament and The Batiri beat The Portal for their second of an eventual trio of points they used to challenge for the Campeonatos de Parejas. With The Osirian Portal on fire and The Dark Army still a question mark, this will serve as quite a precursor to the biggest tournament on the independents.
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The history between Fire Ant and Icarus is well-documented. The last three times these two have been in the ring together, they’ve been memorable occasions. They last faced each other during The Countdown Showdown battle royal on Night 3 of last year’s Young Lions Cup tourney. Don’t believe the official results though; it was Gerard who eliminated Fire Ant, not Icarus. Before that, they fought in the main event of the Season 9 premiere show A Touch of Class in a tag match for The Colony’s tag titles. Neither man got the better of the other, as Fire Ant pinned Gran Akuma and Soldier Ant tapped out Icarus. And before that, in perhaps Chikara’s best match of 2009, The Colony beat Ick and Chuck Taylor, forcing them to shave their heads. Once again, Icarus avoided the pinfall. Now, in their first ever one on one contest, a deciding winner will emerge. With a Chikara singles title looming on the horizon, a win here could launch one man into contention.
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Many of Chikara’s now well-known eight-man tag matches are between talented teams that, while divided as rudos and tecnicos, carry not quite hatred for one another but what might be described as residual ill-will. This particular eight-man…is very different. Brodie Lee has a great deal of experience teaming with Vin Gerard & STIGMA; he’s teamed with them twice in his last dozen Chikara matches. Add in tag partner Grizzly Redwood and you have a seasoned, dangerous quartet on your hands. However, unlike past eight-mans, they’re not facing foes who simply dislike them; Dasher Hatfield, Sugar Dunkerton, Scott Parker and Shane Matthews absolutely abhor The UnStable and The Roughnecks. The Throwbacks of Dasher & Sugar are currently engaged in a bitter feud with the ‘Necks while their history with The UnStable stretches to the infancy of their partnership, and they infamous Baseball Match back at Hiding in Plain Sight. In that match, The UnStable teamed with 3.0, who were still in mode 2.0 back then. Since, Parker & Matthews have upgraded and are not locked in a battle of wits with Gerard and STIGMA. Yes, this is sure to be a hate-filled, bloody, fiery war…you know, unless someone shows up with a catcher’s mitt…
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In defeating Sara Del Rey at Clutch of Doom to finally earn her very first victory in Chikara, Madison Eagles proved that she can hang with the best females in the world. Now she’ll have to prove exactly how globally that label applies when she goes one on one with Japanese independent sensation Toshie Uematsu! A disciple of Chigusa Nagayo’s very first class, Toshie debuted for GAEA at the age of 21 and soon became a competitor in World Championship Wrestling. She became the first hold of the WCW Women’s Cruiserweight Championship but would return to GAEA soon afterwards. She’s a two-time former GAEA tag champion with Ran Yu-Yu, last defeating Manami Toyota & Carlos Amano to become the final champions before the company closed. She is also a four-time former DDT Ironman Heavymetalweight Champion, a title that has also been held by previous Chikara guests Danshoku Dino, Bullfight Sora, Michael Nakazawa, KUDO, Ebessan, Mecha Mummy and Kota Ibushi.
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Fifteen months ago, Claudio Castagnoli demanded the respect of former friend and roommate Eddie Kingston. Eddie spat in Claudio’s face and delivered a devastating Backfist to the Future. At the time, fans in attendance were on the side of Claudio, taking Eddie’s response as simply yet another indictment of his rage-injected, hate-infected personality. By the end of that night, the truth had revealed itself. Castagnoli turned on Chikara, forming the Bruderschaft and starting a reign of destruction that still splinters the company today. Yes, Kingston may be a head case, an artiste of sadism and a tortured, chaotic spirit, but everything he said and believed about Castagnoli turned out to be true. It’s not paranoia if someone’s really out to get you. Since then, however, Claudio has made every single move to dodge Kingston. “The Last of a Dying Breed” invaded an eight-man tag at the beginning of the year to gets his hands on Claudio, but he’d have to wait half a year to get him in a match, teaming with Tommy Dreamer to face Claudio and partner Ares. Once again, Kingston came up short. They met in The Countdown Showdown but Claudio jumped Eddie to embarrass him yet again. Finally, Kingston joined his fellow Allentown Boys at The Dark Cibernetico to face The Bruderschaft. When it ultimately came down to Kingston versus Claudio & Tursas, Castagnoli got disqualified and “The War King” put Tursas down. Still, the victory felt hallow as Eddie never really got a chance to prove wants he believes in his heart of hearts: he’s better than Eddie Kingston. After YEARS of talk and months of interfering in each other’s matches, we are only weeks away from the most anticipated contest since Hero met Quackenbush: KINGSTON VS. CLAUDIO!
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Fire Ant & Soldier Ant know exactly what it takes to win the Campeonatos de Parejas. After beating F.I.S.T. in a Double Hair vs. Mask Match, UltraMantis & Crossbones in Japan and 2.0 for their third point, the duo of ants made up for their earlier loss to The Osirian Portal at Revelation X by beating them for their belts at Hiding in Plain Sight. They had a stellar reign, defeating The Portal in a rematch, The Roughnecks, F.I.S.T. and The Neo Solar Temple before finally losing them in dubious fashion against the BDK. One might argue that Fire & Soldier didn’t lose the belts, but were robbed of them. Now, they have earned a second date with destiny. After earning a point in defeating The Dynamic Demolition Siblings, their next two points came at the expense of the smallest and biggest partners in the BDK. Death Haze and the duo of Claudio Castagnoli & Tursas could not stop the freight train of momentum behind The Colony. Their opponents, fresh off their first defense of the belts against The Batiri, are Mike Quackenbush & Jigsaw. These for men know each other much better as partners rather than opponents, having teamed together in various forms for years now, as recently as the Season 10 premiere Chaos in the Sea of Lost Souls in a winning effort over The Bruderschaft. They have not faced each other in a tag match, however. Come March 13th, that will all change.
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The epic and record-breaking Young Lions Cup reign of Frightmare may be coming to an end in Brooklyn. In Chikara’s New York debut last year, Frightmare became the first person to defend a Chikara championship in the state, besting Pink Ant to retain his Cup. He then ran through Johnny Gargano twice and Lince Dorado in less than a month. Finally, he beat Rich Swann in Reading to cement his status as one of the greatest YLC champs ever. Now, only Obariyon stands in his way for the title of greatest ever outright. Obariyon made his mysterious debut at YLC VIII, the tournament Frightmare won to become champion in the first place. It was later revealed that Obariyon, with partners Kodama & Kobald, were members of The Batiri, a group trained by Sinn Bodhi for UltraMantis Black. When Bodhi and The Batiri turned on Black, it was Frightmare who begged Hallowicked to help save his former friend. They did, and now a war has broken out between the two sides. So far, it’s been The Batiri getting the best of them every time, first in a tag match and then in a six-man tag. This will be unlike all the previous defenses Frightmare has made. With Swann and Gargano, it was just business. With Dorado & Sanchez, it was a fight that was forced upon Chikara. His fight with Obariyon, however, is one that Frights never had to be a part of. He CHOSE to inject himself in the feud between Mantis and Kizarny. He CHOSE to continue their alliance going forward. Now, if The Batiri decides to interfere or Obariyon shows up with extra incentive, Frightmare will be much more likely to lose the Cup. If he does, he’ll have no one to blame but himself.
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The say you can’t go home again, but Amasis, Ophidian & Hieracon will be heading back to their birthplace when they face Tim Donst, Lince Dorado & Pinkie Sanchez of the Bruderschaft. Back when current Director of Fun Wink Vavasseur was just a lowly advisor, he partnered up The Portal with Jonathan Gresham. Though Amasis & Ophidian were skeptical, the union turned out marvelously as the trio bested a BDK team of Dorado, Sanchez and Delirious. Now they will fight the Bruderschaft again, only this time it will be Tim Donst leading the men instead of the erratic Delirious. The match will not only serve as a potential King of Trio preview but, for Donst, an opportunity to help him choose his partners for Team BDK in this year’s tourney. Claudio Castagnoli stated that he would not lead a team into Trios this year, as he believes his team last year was the greatest ever, so why bother? However, he did want the Bruderschaft to have a team, so Donst stepped up on the Chikara Blog to answer the call: “Claudio I gladly accept your challenge. I’ve held the YLC. I’ve toured Japan. I can’t wait to add a KOT victory page to my scrapbook. I’ll find the top tier choices and assemble the best BDK trio ever led by the Mat Wrestling Machine. I’ll go ahead and start buying the glitter and markers now.” Will Dorado or Sanchez prove themselves worthy of teaming with Donst or will The Portal continue their hot streak in trios matches?
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It’s been a rough start to Sara Del Rey’s year. She was upset by Madison Eagles at Clutch of Doom, the first time someone other than Daizee Haze pinned her one on one in her entire Chikara career. At the Ring of Honor iPPV in Chicago, she got a face full of mist courtesy of MsChif, sending her screaming into a towel to try and save her eyesight. Her chance to turn things around will come against Toshie Uematsu, as the two are scheduled to face-off for the first time ever in New York. However, last time Sara was in Brooklyn with Chikara, she tasted defeated at the hands of Manami Toyota after she locked in The Chikara Special. Del Rey should have a better shot against Toshie, unless she plans on underestimating Uematsu. In that case, her troubles are only beginning.
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– Please leave any comments or questions you might have and I’ll do my best to respond with as many hypnotic Japanese lullabies as I can conjure. I’d like to do a contest or something cool like that, but I’m not sure how much interest there’d be. Let your voice be heard! Also, let me know if there’s anything you’d like to see in the column, like fantasy booking, treasure hunts, wish-lists, secret handshakes, etc.
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I love you forever for that tennis reference.