CHIKARMY Insider in Search of an Exit! (Loads of Trios Updates)

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The biggest, grandest, craziest, most important, hyperbole-friendly tournament in professional wrestling is taking shape and CHIKARMY Insider is here with tons of updates. A tournament breakdown, Rey de Voladores update, the final two entrants into King of Trios are announced, the first four opening round contests get write-ups and tons more await you. You’re lucky to be getting anything for me this week; it’s storming like crazy here in Georgia. Speaking of which, there will be no column next Sunday as it’ll be WrestleMania weekend! I’ll be LIVE for Ring of Honor and Dragon Gate USA, and I’ll be reviewing the Mania PPV for this lovely site. So even if there’s no Chikara love here next week, I’ll be around. I’m always around.
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King of Trios 2011 Tournament Breakdown!

For those unfamiliar, King of Trios has a unique bracket of matches that sprawl across three nutty nights. With 48 individuals and 16 squads, things are bound to be a little hectic. Night 1 of the event consists entirely of six-man matches, eight in all, with eight teams of three advancing to the following show. Night 2 pits those eight teams against one another in four 3-on-3 contests, with four teams obviously advancing. Night 3 opens with two trios matches, the winners of which advance to the main event King of Trios Finals on the very same show! In all, the winning team will have won four-consecutive six-man tags, taking home the medals, the bragging rights, the respect and the title of King of Trios! Other staples of Trios weekend include a Tag Team Gauntlet Match, where two teams face off & another team enters after one is eliminated, until there are no more teams are left, and surprise dream matches, such as The Young Bucks versus QuackenSaw and Christopher Daniels facing Eddie Kingston & Hallowicked in singles matches last year. Another staple is the tournament-within-a-tournament known as…
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Rey De Voladores Returns!

The tournament for the best high-flyers in the world returns to King of Trios. Because Night 1 contains only the eight first round main tournament match-ups, Rey de Voladores starts on Night 2 with two four-way elimination matches, or Eliminators. The individuals who win those two Eliminators head to Night 3, where the finals are a one-on-one contest. Past winners have come from all around the globe: Chuck Taylor, Incognito, Kota Ibushi and Ophidian. Though it’s usually composed primarily of flyers that have already made their reputations as such on the indys, many competitors use RDV to show off their daredevil skills for the first time, as was the case with Taylor. In that spirit, the first entrant into the tournament has a lot to prove. Zack Sabre, Jr. is a young up-and-coming mat technical in Europe looking to make a name for himself not only in Chikara but in the U.S. altogether. Having faced Bryan Danielson, Prince Devitt, El Generico, Go Shiozaki and many more, he is battle tested, a favorite of on-line fans and may be the favorite to win it all!
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Tim Donst Builds His BDK Dream Team!

Having finalized his Trios team, Tim Donst took to the Chikara Blog for his much-anticipated news: “STOP it already! I’m so sick of all you CHIKARMY chumps asking who my partners are going to be for this year’s King of Trios. Enough with the e-mails, the Facebook posts, it’s not your-space, it’s MY-SPACE. Give me some and I’ll freakin’ tell ya. While I’m certain that my accomplishments since last year’s tournament (Former YLC holder victories, tour of Japan, etc.) warrant a one-man BDK team, I’m a humble guy. Figure I’ll share the winner’s spotlight. My partners last year totally fumbled, and Sara Del Rey dropped the ball big time at “Operation: Big Freeze.” I can’t have a team of underachievers that can’t take the pressure and stupid girls that don’t save their partners in time. But I do need someone unpredictable, someone that brings a little crazy to the table. That’s why I’m going with you, Delirious. You perfectly complement my precise mat wrestling skills and text book technique. Than there’s you Jakob. I know you’re relatively untested – you took a long break from your training to serve as our ring announcer before finally getting your act together and becoming an active wrestler. When you finally asked Claudio to help finish your training, I saw that spark in your eye. And in Brooklyn, you delivered big time. You came through – that’s more than I can say for Pinkie. I understand you might feel ill-prepared fresh out of the dojo, but fear not – your training will continue under me. Your first lesson is to soak up my words and comprehend that my bachelor’s degree from the Chikara Wrestle Factory wasn’t what propelled me to becoming the Greatest Young Lions Cup champion of all time. That’s right, you’re a fool if you believe Quack prepared me for the chops on my chest, the concussions in my skull and the pain I felt in my heart – loss after loss after loss in my very first few months on the circuit. No! It was the sick reality of the cruel sport that tested my tenacity and toughness. It was my beatings by the likes of Brodie Lee and Eddie Kingston that taught me lessons in Pro Wrestling 101. I passed with flying colors and because of which, I’m proud to say, I graduated with a Masters in ring psychology and a minor in promos. That’s why it’s imperative that IF midway throughout a match, IF the momentum were to shift in the other team’s favor and IF they were indeed able to tag in a fresh man, you’d be the first one I send into the ring. While it would trouble me to see you dropkicked and clotheslined in front of my very own eyes, you must understand it’s only for your own career development. It’s for your own good that I’m sending you in to ultimetly get bruised and beaten. It’s like my mom always said, you need to get hit with a few backfists before you can back someone up with your fists. Sending you in to be abused isn’t because I don’t care Jakob, it’s because I care too much. April 17th will be the day of your final exam.”
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Archibald Peck Is Coming To Trios!

His debut was one of the most hyped in the history of Chikara. For months, we knew that something called “The Band” would be coming to the company in Williamsport. When The Band, Archibald Peck and Veronica, arrived, Eddie Kingston met them and put Peck down with a backfist. The most hyped arrival ever had become the most overhyped. Now, Archie & Veronica are coming to King of Trios looking to prove they belong. On Night 2, Peck will host an Open Challenge for anyone to come and face him. Will he finally prove he deserved the hype or once again be on the losing end of the 1-2-3?
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More Chikara Stars Lobby For Singles Gold!

A singles title is on its way to Chikara Pro, in case you didn’t hear. Since Director of Fun Wink Vavasseur declared that the roster itself would choose who fought for it first, votes and lobbies for votes have been pouring in. One couldn’t vote for themselves though, so things have been a little screwy. Vin Gerard begged for consideration, UltraMantis Black voted for Hallowicked but claimed Incoherence voted for him, and several others went after votes, including Green Ant and Brodie Lee. Scott Parker recently cast his ballot for Shane Matthews. Big Magic’s response with illegible, so Jagged translated: “Oh wow. Really? You really voted for me? I can’t believe it. If I were to sum up my emotions I would have to say that I am both deeply touched by your gesture and yet mildly thunderstruck. Thank you. I will not let you down. I am both excited and prepared for this oppertunity. I would also like to return the favor and place a nomination for you, my dearest friend.” Sugar Dunkerton lobbied for himself, saying, “When you make your vote, vote for who you believe could beat you at any given time. Vote for the person that makes you sweat when you see their name across from theirs. Not everyone will do this. But keep in mind, the opportunity at this title if for an elite few. IF you get your chance; do you want your peers and the CHIKARMY at large to question if you were worthy? Will you be able to say you beat men OR women where the very thought of the outcome left you nervous? This is OUR championship. The big one. Whoever takes this thing is going to represent our company in a way the Young Lions Cup can’t. The SAME way our Campeonatos de Parejas are considered THE tag titles to win…this belt should mean the same thing. Whoever wins it is carrying CHIKARA on their back.” In the past few days, Ophidian & Sara Del Rey also tossed their name in the hat. Needless to say, this could be anyone’s opportunity as the field of vocal vote viers continues to grow.
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Hieracon Flies To Japan As An Assassin!

Former King of Trios participant Danshoku Dino recently won a match that allowed him to pick his own opponent for DDT‘s huge Sumo Hall show in July. He chose Bob Sapp! However, Sapp wasn’t convinced that Dino’s a serious competitor so he sent an assassin over to DDT to test Dino’s abilities today…and it was Jonathan Gresham AKA Hieracon! He was unsuccessful though, losing after a Gotch-Style Danshoku Driver. Pic 1 Pic 2 The card also featured Dick Togo, a member Team M-Pro in this year’s Trios, defending his KO-D Openweight Title for a second time against former Trios entrant and Rey de Voladores winner Kota Ibushi. It’s been quite a year for Gresham already, with The Osirian Portal going undefeated in six-man tags, Hieracon holding a point with Amasis towards a shot at the Campeonatos de Parejas and being voted on Chikara 101 as one of the favorites to win King of Trios.
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Two New Chikara DVDs Are Out…AGAIN!

It feels like I announce two new DVD releases in every single column. Crazy, right? Well, 2 more did indeed come out at Smart Mark Video today, and both are pretty noteworthy releases. Operation: Big Freeze took place March 12, 2011 in Williamsport, PA. It featured the epic debut of “The Band” against Eddie Kingston, The UnStable teaming with The Roughnecks against 3.0 and The Throwbacks, Toshie Uematsu’s long-awaited return to the United States, a main event grudge match pitting Mike Quackenbush, Frightmare & Hallowicked against Claudio Castagnoli, Tim Donst & Sara Del Rey of The Bruderschaft and FOUR more matches from Williamsport! Creatures from the Tar Swamp took place March 13, 2011 in Brooklyn, NY. It featured Jakob Hammermeier’s in-ring debut against Green Ant, The Throwbacks versus the Roughnecks in Chikara’s first-ever Lumberjack Match, Frightmare defending the Young Lions Cup against Obariyon, QuackenSaw defending the Campeonatos de Parejas against The Colony, Eddie Kingston versus Claudio Castagnoli in a must-see, all-out war and FOUR more matches from Brooklyn! Buy’em both today for the fantastic price of only $15 each!
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Despite only appearing in Chikara Pro on one previous weekend, Akira Tozawa already has history with his opponents in Team Dragon Gate’s opening round match-up. Along with KAGETORA & Super Shisa, Tozawa will attempt to unseat the fan favorite trio UltraMantis Black, Frightmare & Hallowicked: The Spectral Envoy! Back in August during Young Lions Cup VIII weekend, Akira beat Green Ant with Kara Tozawa and moved on to the Eliminator. There, he made it to the final two alongside Frightmare. Tozawa couldn’t but Frights away with Kara Tozawa or his German Suplex, ultimately falling to the Kneecolepsy. The next night, Frightmare would win the entire tournament. That same night, Tozawa faced Hallowicked in the show’s opener, losing to the Graveyard Smash, a move Hallowicked hadn’t pulled out in almost a year. Tozawa will be looking for revenge with Shisa & KAGE, whom he hasn’t teamed with in a long time. However, cohesiveness is an issue on The Envoy’s side of things, too. They lost the only trios match they participated in and have been torn apart this year by The Dark Army. The team who best shows that they are a team will undoubtedly be the victor.
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If you asked Icarus, Chuck Taylor or Johnny Gargano, they’d probably tell you that Team F.I.S.T. drew the best possible opponents for their first round contest. Admittedly, Team Australia looks about a menacing as a bar of soap. However, they will surely be difficult to plan for as so little is known about them. It’s hard to assess strengths, weaknesses and battle plans from a couple of YouTube videos and a 650 x 260 banner. Percy T, Kabel and Tama Williams are an eclectic group that has nothing to lose. That is what makes them dangerous; no one expects a thing from these guys. If they wandered into the ring blindfolded and covered in snakes, spontaneously combusted upon the bell ringing, waves of phantom “called it” posts would follow online. If they botch every single attempted move in the match, including ring entrance and exist, and missing all attempts at tagging in & out, it would draw more “I knew it” comments than bracket-less March Madness “geniuses” who call every single upset without a shred of evidence. F.I.S.T., like a lot of the Chikaraverse, expects them to beat themselves. However, anything can happen in Trios, and if F.I.S.T. thinks it’s got a pie-stroll on its hands, they could be in for quite a shock…and an opening round loss.
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The year is 1995. Hakushi & Bret Hart are just starting a feud in the WWF after Jerry “The King” Lawler convinces the Japanese star that Hart’s a racist. The two men faced off in the very first match on a little pay-per-view called In Your House. Yeah, the very first one. Hart beat Hakushi but lost to Lawler later that night after a little interference from Hakushi. At the next PPV, Hart beat Lawler in a Kiss My Foot Match and Jerry would introduce his dentist Isaac Yankem into the mix. Hakushi would break away from the feud at SummerSlam 1995, where he faced and defeated the 1-2-3 Kid for the second time in his career. The two faced each other again on a November 1995 and a February 1996 RAW, where Kid, now a heel in the Million Dollar Corporation, got his wins back. Hakushi would be out of the company only a month later. All-time, the series still rests at two wins apiece. Why did I provide all this back story? I dunno…boredom? You know it now, and you can’t unknow it. Flash forward fifteen years and 1-2-3 Kid has gone from X-Pac to 6-Pac to just Syxx to Sean Waltman, his real name, and is back to 1-2-3 Kid once again, teaming with Chikara veteran Darin Corbin and former Young Lions Cup champion Arik Cannon as Team Minnesota. They will face the crown jewel of the 2011 King of Trios, Team Michinoku Pro: The Great Sasuke, Dick Togo and Jinsei Shinzaki aka Hakushi. Fifteen years later, two men whose paths in their careers and life strayed in very different directions will cross once more, this time in a Chikara ring.
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If there’s one thing Sinn Bodhi likes to do more than anything, it’s playing spoiler. When he took Obariyon & Kodama back despite training them for another man’s use, his colors showed. When he ruined the reunion between UltraMantis Black & Hallowicked, he showed no remorse. When Sinn cheated to help The Batiri earn a tag title shot, he was giddy. In New York at Chikara’s most recent event, he left UltraMantis bloodied and with half a mask left. At every angle, The Dark Army has left The Spectral Envoy lying on their backs. At every turn, Bodhi has spoiled every opportunity for opponents to gain momentum or victory, all of which had the evil demon Kobald pacing at ringside. They will look to play spoilers yet again when they face Fire Ant, Soldier Ant & Green Ant in the first round of Trios. It’s no secret that The Colony are once again the favorites to win the tournament, but to even get out of the opening round, they’ll have to beat a team that will do whatever it takes to win. They are liars, they are cheaters, and they have nothing left to lose.
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– Please leave any comments or questions you might have and I’ll do my best to respond with as many hypnotic Japanese lullabies as I can conjure. I’d like to do a contest or something cool like that, but I’m not sure how much interest there’d be. Let your voice be heard! Also, let me know if there’s anything you’d like to see in the column, like fantasy booking, treasure hunts, wish-lists, secret handshakes, etc.

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