A Most Unusual CHIKARMY Insider! (Detailed Weekend Results + Full Aniversario Preview)

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Welcome to a jam-packed edition of CHIKARMY Insider! Today, we’ve got huge news regarding the 12 Large: Summit, big injury news and results from Engulfed in a Fever of Spite, Chikara Pro’s debut in North Carolina. Then, there’s a full rundown of the two Aniversario weekend shows: Aniversario & His Amazing Friends and Aniversario: the Legendary Super Powers Show! This is the biggest edition of the Insider in some time, so you may want a spotter to help you read this. The last thing you’d want is to read too much, too fast and blow out a gluteal muscle. That’s how Babe Ruth died.

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Amasis Is Badly Injured, Off The Roster Indefinitely!

The injury bug that bit Jigsaw has now found its way to Amasis, who could be out for a substantial amount of time. Chikara released this on their Facebook and message board: “The funky [pharaoh] Amasis (of The Osirian Portal,) suffered severe injuries in a non-wrestling accident, and will be off the active roster indefinitely. There is currently no timetable for his return, and the full extent of the injuries to his neck and spine will not be known for a little while longer. As you can imagine, Amasis’ scheduled matches and upcoming appearances are being canceled. We apologize for any inconvenience this presents to our fans. I’m sure you all join us in wishing Amasis a speedy and full recovery!” This means he’s out of the 12 Large: Summit as well. As one of Chikara’s most recognizable stars, his absence will surely be one impossible to fill. As a fan-favorite known as much for his crazy dance skills as he is for stiff elbows, he will be deeply missed for however long he is out. Hopefully, he is able to come back stronger than ever very soon!

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Who Should Replace Amasis: Ophidian or Hieracon? You Decide!

With Amasis out indefinitely, Director of Fun Wink Vavasseur took to the Chikara Blog to handle the situation: “Hello CHIKARA fans!” he wrote. “It’s your Director of Fun here, Wink Vavasseur, popping in with a quick update on the “12 Large: Summit” round-robin tournament that starts this weekend in Easton: Amasis has been injured and is forced to take himself out of the competition. I’m sure you all had the same concern that I did upon hearing this news, so I went ahead and did some follow-up research. As it turns out, Amasis is the guy from the Osirian Portal. I’ve actually met him several times and “Amasis” is his name; I’m not even sure what I’ve been calling him, but it sure wasn’t that! Oh, also, he’ll be fine by next year, I’m pretty sure. He will, however, miss out on the tournament. Of course, now this leaves an open spot to be filled. Had the tournament already started, his 5 opponents in Block A would all automatically collect points for those forfeit wins. But since the tournament does not start for a few more days, I think it’s reasonable to substitute a different wrestler in his place. I think the only fair thing to do is to swap him out for another one of the Osirians. On the one hand, you’ve got Hieracon, the birdman himself, Jonathan Gresham – risen like a phoenix (which is another kind of bird, albeit a mythical one), a man with something to prove. He sports a solid physique, and a charming smile. You gotta hand it to the guy – he’s been really quite impressive since I introduced him to those other two fellows. I see big things in his future. And on the other hand, we have Ophidian, which I found out is the name of the guy with the snake-face. He’s the vaguely dirty one with a sibilance problem. Two eligible competitors, but only one shall replace the “Funky Pharaoh.” The wrestlers had their say, so now it is your turn, grapple fans. I will have a poll posted up on the official fan message board for you to voice your opinion! You’ve got just 5 days to cast your vote. It’s kind of like a primary of the Portal Party, choosing a candidate to replace the incumbent Amasis. So, head on over to the Forums at CHIKARA101.com and exercise your rights! The choice is yours, CHIKARA SOLDIERS: Hieracon or ol’ Snakeface. May the best bird/snake win!”

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More Details On The 12 Large: Summit Emerge!

The injury to Amasis has left Wink Vavasseur with a complex hole to fill in the 12 Large: Summit. While we can’t be certain who’ll replace Amasis from The Portal (Ophidian is out to a big lead though), we have been given clearer rules as to how the tourney will progress. From Chikara 101: “Wrestlers in each block will try to win the most points possible throughout the round robin. Each tournament bout will have a 60-minute time limit imposed on it. Every tournament win is valued at 2 points, a time-limit draw or ‘no contest’ is valued at 1 point, while no points are given for a loss. The wrestler with the most points from Block A will meet the wrestler with the most points from Block B on Sunday afternoon, November 13th!”

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An Amazing Update on American Balloon!

Last year, DDT standout and former Chikara competitor American Balloon retired from wrestling after a match against KUDO. Little was known about his retirement but he was kind enough to drop off a post on the DVD boards. “The reason I decided to retire is, sadly, not very complex.” He wrote. “I had moved to the Japanese countryside, and was working as a teacher for kids, which I loved. I actually hadn’t even realized I worked well with kids until I started, but I enjoyed working with kids as much or more than working as a wrestler.” He would continue to say that he has since moved to Mongolia to help with The Cocoon Project, a non-profit organization which has already built a center for impoverished children: “We started a center that allows them to come whenever they need to, take classes to give them education/job skills, have a place to relax, get support entering university, and eat, bathe, and wear clean clothes.” The center was run almost solely on the savings of the operators, which are running out. Donations to the center can be made HERE, on the Project’s website. Please read his entire post as well, which can be viewed HERE. Though only a part of two Chikara shows, Balloon has the lasting legacy of appearing in the very first King of Trios, way back in 2007. As a representative of DDT, alongside Danshoku Dino and MASAMUNE, their team and Team K-Dojo were the very first international squads included in a tournament that, now in 2011, is lauded for its worldwide appeal. He also memorably took part in Chikara’s first Tag Team Gauntlet Match on Night 3, teaming with Dino. They defeated Dunn & Marcos after a Cancun Tornado from Balloon, but fell to the following team of Mitch Ryder & Robbie Ellis after the 64-year-old Ellis planted Balloon with a Shiranui.

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CHIKARA vs. CWF Mid-Atlantic Results!

Before the stars of Chikara Pro made their North Caronia debut, many of them competed the previous night for CFW in a night of inter-promotional clashes! Jakob Hammermeier, with Tim Donst and replacing Kobald, lost the first match to “Young Gun” Nick Richards, but Chikara bounced back with two consecutive wins. Green Ant submitted Chase Dakota and Ophidian pinned Trevor Lee. However, the CWF Mid Atlantic Tag Champions of Jason Blade and Adam Page managed to beat Obariyon and Kodama to even the series. The concluding match to decide the winner of the series was a colossal confrontation: 366 pound Mecha Mercenary and 375 pound Tursas fought to a no-contest, leaving the series at 2-2. Finally, Mike Quackenbush teamed with Chiva Kid in the main event against Ric Converse and Xsiris, and his team got the victory! Thanks to Indy Insiders for the great write-up.

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~ Crowd was said to be completely packed for the show, which bodes well for a return to The South™. Bryce Remsburg welcomes everyone to the show as Jakob Hammermeier came out. It seems Jakob will be responsible for all of tonight’s intros! Guess Gavin Loudspeaker didn’t make the trip. The first match-up was supposed to be The Throwbacks versus The Osirian Portal, but due to a serious injury to Amasis, The ‘Backs will now face Los Ice Creams!

1. Tag Challenge #1: Dasher Hatfield & Sugar Dunkerton d. Hijo Del Ice Cream & Ice Cream Jr. (12:19). With an assist from a young fan named Caleb, The Throwbacks earned point numero uno over Los Ice Creams. It was a dog pile finish as Dasher jumped on Junior to serve as vanilla ice cream, Sugar came next as the hot chocolate and red-haired Caleb served as the cherry on top!

2. BDK vs. CWF: Tim Donst d. Kamikaze Kid (10:03). Donst chokes out Kid with a shoestring-assisted rear naked choke in what was called an awesome match by someone live.

3. Singles Match: Daizee Haze d. Grizzly Redwood (6:11). Daizee defeated Grizzly and Redwood commits seppuku with a tiny felling axe immediately after. Just kidding…probably. She distracted the referee, poked Grizz in the eyes and hit her bridging German Suplex for the big win. I can’t recall the last time a woman pinned a man one on one in a Chikara ring, but I’d guess Allison Danger over Mr. Crabtree some time ago. Maybe Mickie Knuckles got one over someone? I don’t know.

4. CHIKARA vs. CWF: Ophidian d. Will O’ The Wisp II (8:41). In a hard-fought match, Ophidian puts down Wisp with the Egyptian Destroyer. Apparently both CWF guys were good, though Kid was a bit better. Wisp is a gimmick first used by Jeff Hardy in OMEGA, continued by its current user with Hardy’s blessing. So there’s that.

5. CHIKARA vs. BDK: UltraMantis Black d. Tursas (8:30). In a SHOCKING upset, UltraMantis becomes only the second man to defeat Tursas one on one, the other being Eddie Kingston. Tursas missed a humongous moonsault and Mantis rolled him up for three!

6. Former Friends Collide: Hallowicked d. Delirious (11:17). In a clash between the founders of Incoherence, Wicked pins his former best bud with a slingshot roll-up after Delirious freaked out when Wicked kicked out of Shadows Over Heck at one. Afterwards, Tursas had to drag Delirious to the back, thus ensuring that Hallowicked could not get through to his still hypnotized brother. Match got really good reviews from those live.

7. Tag Challenge #2: Icarus & Johnny Gargano d. Mike Quackenbush & Frightmare (14:04). Icarus steals a win over Team Frightning AKA Frightenbush. Ick Man hit Quack with a low blow on the top rope, followed it with a Super Manhattan Drop and caught him with a jackknife cradle, giving Icarus & Gargano (Icargano? Garcarus?) their first point towards a future title shot.

8. An Unmitigated Massacre: Eddie Kingston d. Jakob Hammermeier (5:43). Many members of the Bruderschaft tried to stop “The War King”, but they were unable to put him down. Donst ran from commentary to provide a key distraction, allowing Tursas to hit Eddie with his running crossbody. King survived though, and it took a suicide dive onto the BDK to finally get things one on one. Kingston obliterated Hammermeier with the Backfist to claim victory.

9. Main Event Six-Man: Fire Ant, Soldier Ant & Green Ant d. Obariyon, Kodama & Kobald (19:20). The Colony prove they really are The Kings after defeating the Batiri in a trios match. Early on, Obariyon dropped Fire Ant with Deep Impact on the apron, keeping him out for quite a while. Soldier Ant’s nose was badly bloodied, too. The Ants persevered though, and Fire Ant eventually pinned Kodama following the Ant Hill.

~ A return date was announced for October 7th, given the size of the crowd and overall cost-effectiveness of running the building. Also announced is Young Lions Cup IX will have a new format this year, taking place across two nights, August 28th & 29th, in Easton.

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You would think that at some point during history of Chikara, the head trainer of the Wrestle Factory and its fan-christened greatest student ever would have clashed in singles competition. They haven’t. Mike Quackenbush is one half of the current Campeones de Parejas, a former King of Trios winner, former NWA World Jr. Heavyweight champion and trainer to everyone from Jigsaw to Eddie Kingston to The Colony to his opponent in a 12 Large: Summit tournament contest: Hallowicked. The story between these two men is quite the strange one. In Chikara’s infancy, Wicked fought Quack fairly regularly, teaming with the likes of Blind Rage, Eddie Kingston and UltraMantis Black to battle his teacher. Then, when Hallowicked turned tecnico in 2006 after the disbanding of The Dark Breed, he & Quack just…stopped fighting each other. They didn’t even team together. From ’06 to ’08, Mike Quackenbush & Hallowicked met in a Chikara ring just three times: the 2006 Torneo Cibernetico, the 2007 Super Rumble of Doom and the makeshift ten-man Parejas Incredibles match from 2008. The following year saw the Chikara brand bleed into two new, high-profile indy promotions: DGUSA and EVOLVE. On both debut shows, Hallowicked was chosen as a partner for Quackenbush and on both shows those teams were victorious. “Wicked Lighting” has been a semi-regular forced ever since, team with customary partners Frightmare & Jigsaw on several occasions. Now, after finally earning a place by Quack’s side, Hallowicked will turn to look him in the eye. He will try to prove that he’s not only as good as his teacher; he’ll look to prove that he’s eclipsed him, too.

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The war between 3.0 and The UnStable continues to escalate, and they’ll try to settle the score in Easton. It started quite innocently, with Scott Parker & Shane Matthews antagonizing Vin Gerard & STIGMA about how uninspired and boring they are. Instead of actually beating them in a match, The UnStable decided a different tactic: harass Shane’s girlfriend at Creatures from the Tar Swamp. This lead to a brutal brawl and their scheduled match for the evening never took place. They have been circling each other ever since, and all four men took to the Chikara Blog to try and get under the other squad’s skin. “[Hey] Brittany, Dollface, whatever your name is…do you think your boy Shane is a real man?” Vin posted, addressing Shane’s girlfriend. “Like I told you in Brooklyn, it’s only a matter of time before you find out who the real man is. Keep your beautiful eyes on Vin Gerard.” Matthews was quick to respond: “You know, I’m not about to send out long-winded idle threats and promises of what I intend to do to you, Vin Gerard. Instead, what I am going to do is promise you one thing. I promise you that you are going to pay for what you did in New York. Now that may sound a little cliché, and similar words may have been spoken by many others before me, but I assure you that I am going to teach you a lesson in respect, in humility, and in pain. You’ve walked around the CHIKARA locker room for years, spreading your misery. I guarantee you that in Easton on the 21st, I am finally going to give you a good reason to be miserable. You are coming to an end.” STIGMA got the final word. After mentioning that he wasn’t on the list of candidates for the 12 Large tourney despite Gerard assuring him that they voted for each other, he turned his attention to Matthews: “Sure, Shane you acknowledged how you aren’t the first guy to come along and want to destroy Vin Gerard. And you promised that you are going to teach him a lesson, and make him pay. But Shane do you know how ridiculous that sounds? Don’t you know how many people hate him? What makes you think that YOU have what it takes? Why do you think that you are the one that will be able to beat the scum bag out of Vin Gerard? Vin’s sleaze is time-tested. He’ll make you so angry that you can’t think and then before you know it – you’re off your game and The UnStable is victorious. I urge you to try Shane. Go ahead. Pick the stipulations. See if we care. So the funny guys want to get serious all of a sudden? Get real. On the 21st in Easton, 3.0 come with everything you’ve got. But all I can tell you is something I heard time and time again in the past. Shane. You. Will. FAIL!”

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“It has become very apparent to everyone that the women of the BDK and I have not seen eye to eye since making my return to CHIKARA.” Madison Eagles stated on the Chikara Blog. “But both Daizee Haze and Sara Del Rey need to realize I WILL NOT give up, and I will not be bullied. I will not succumb to pressure, and I will certainly not be run out of here by them. Lesser women have come and gone. Madison Eagles is here to stay, and I’ve made my case to be considered for a fulltime position on the roster to the powers-that-be. [I] want to take my plea to the Director of Fun public. Three times already I have petitioned to be added to the roster. I’m at every event possible, even if I am not booked to wrestle. I am hungry for opportunity.” Having since joined the Chikara Roster page, it seems that Madison will now be put through a rite of passage in joining the tecnicos: a revelos atomicos match against the BDK! She will join together with Fire Ant, Soldier Ant & Green Ant, who are still on fire after winning King of Trios and defeating The Batiri in the main event of Chikara’s southern debut. They will be opposed by quite a strange quartet of BDK brawlers: Ares, Pinkie Sanchez, Jakob Hammermeier and the aforementioned Daizee Haze!

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Believe it or not, Frightmare and Archibald Peck have a lot in common. When Frightmare’s debut was first teased, it looked as though he were a gigantic, hulking beast. When he turned out to be a diminutive high-flyer, there were those both baffled and disappointed. The same can be said about “The Band”, an unveiling so hyped that it could never live up to expectations. When it turned out to be Marchin’ Archie and his best gal Veronica, many vented about being duped. Now, after a pair of brief, hilarious contests, there doesn’t seem to be anyone left who isn’t sold on the ridiculous, glove-wielding band leader. They also, uh…are smiling in their roster pictures? Okay, so maybe there isn’t a mountain of similarities between them. However, if Peck can get himself three again the current YLC in this, a non-title affair, a title shot shouldn’t be far behind.

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Eddie Kingston’s focus in Season 9 was divvied up two ways: dreams matches and wars with the Bruderschaft. When he wasn’t taking on the likes of Bryan “Daniel Bryan” Danielson, Christopher “Daniels” Daniels and El “El Generico” Generico, he was waging battles with Claudio Castagnoli, Tim Donst, Ares, Tursas and the rest of the Bruderschaft des Kreuzes. However, this season has proven that you don’t have to fall under one of those phylums to incur the wrath of “The War King”. He put down Johnny Gargano in February and the debut Archibald Peck in March. Neither is a dream match, nor is either man in the Bruderschaft. Kingston’s lust for vengeance against Claudio is now focused in a tunnel of destruction, paying no attention to faction, affiliation or credo. If you are between him and his retribution, you will be put down. The BDK through absolutely everyone at Eddie at Engulfed in a Fever of Spite, but he still emerged victorious. Now, Eddie’s faces Sin Bodhi, a force that, so far, has steered clear of Castagnoli’s clan. It has been over a year since anyone other than Claudio, Ares, or Mr. Danielson has pinned Kingston. Eddie is on a rampage. This doesn’t bode well for Bodhi.

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You couldn’t pick two more different teams on the Chikara roster than The Throwbacks, Sugar Dunkerton & Dasher Hatfield, and one half of The Dark Army, Obariyon & Kodama, collectively with Kobald known as The Batiri. Confused? That was the point! Anyway, back to that thing I was saying. The ‘Backs are known for shenanigans like invisible baseball games, phantom basketball shootouts, sports-themed double teams maneuvers and having the endless support of the fans. Easton, especially, seems to love Dash & Dunk, perhaps because Palmer Community Center bore witness to the Chikara debuts of both ball-handlers. Oby & Kody, as absolutely no one but me calls them, are known for their serious demeanor, green faces and high-impact offense. The two teams have met only once, in this year’s Tag Team Gauntlet Match on King of Trios 2011 (Night 3). The Throwbacks were about to put The Batiri away with the Alley-Oop when Obariyon blatantly kicked Dasher Hatfield low, causing a disqualification. With a point in tow thanks to a win over Los Ice Creams in North Carolina, The ‘Backs are coming for point number two and a little old-school payback.

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Consistently one of the most entertaining wrestlers in Chikara, Chuck Taylor will go one on one with one of the most entertaining commentators in a first time ever match in Easton. Though known for his witty banter with [INSERT COMMENTATOR], UltraMantis Black is also a more than competent wrestler. Before this past year, that was could not be said about “The Devious One” in regards to singles matches. Between 2007 and 2009, UltraMantis managed exactly one singles victory a year, two of which were over a gimmickless Create-A-Wrestler. Last year, he broke through with wins over Hallowicked and Delirious. This year, he’s already got two more, taking a win from Sinn Bodhi via disqualification and putting down the mighty Tursas, become only the second man to do so in singles competition. With the 12 Large: Summit looming, it’s a chance for UltraMantis to bust ahead of the pack and prove beyond a doubt that he deserves to be there. For Chuckie T, whose profile continues to climb after a tour of Dragon Gate in Japan and an appearance in the finals of King of Trios with his F.I.S.T. pals, it’s a chance to prove that he should’ve been in the tournament, too.

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It might seem impossible, but Brodie Lee can be beaten one on one. Dasher Hatfield did it back at The Dark Ciberknetico. At A Touch of Class, Hallowicked put him down, too. Daisuke Sekimoto & Claudio Castagnoli both did in 2008, with Claudio pulling it off twice. Only one other man has put him down during his time in Chikara, which dates back to 2007. So the number is five. You can literally count on one hand the number of men who have beaten Boride straight up in Chikara Pro. Even more impressive is that only Sekimoto has an overall winning record over “Big Rig”, as Brodie has reclaimed his wins from the other four men. Hieracon, at 5’5” and 165 pounds, will look to add his name to the prestigious list of those who took down the 6’7” beast in a singles match. Chances are, however, that he’ll simply end up getting a good look at the bottom of Brodie’s big, bad boot.

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Hey, remember when I said that five guys have beaten Brodie Lee in singles matches but I only named four of them? Meet number five: Vin Gerard. Way, way back in the magical year of two thousand and seven, “The Right Stuff” Brodie Lee made his Chikara debut and faced off against Equinox, who would unmask a year later as Vin Gerard. The match was never even supposed to take place: at the last minute, “Reckless Youth” Tom Carter had to pull out due to illness and Lee, shirtless and in tasseled long tights, replaced him. The high-flying of Equinox met the stiff boot of Lee, but Gerard ultimately prevailed with a satellite small package. Brodie would return two months later at Anniversario? looking for revenge. A more menacing Lee overwhelmed Equinox with a TKO and his trademark Running Liger Bomb. Years later, after Vin had transformed into a dark and dreary rudo and Brodie started simply wearing his everyday clothes to the ring, they teamed together on more than one occasion. Still, Brodie is either still harboring resentment over the loss, has completely forgotten about it or he doesn’t know that Equinox and Gerard were one and the same. “I will simply state facts.” Lee wrote on the Chikara Blog in February of this year. “Since 2008, I ask you, WHO has been a more successful singles wrestler than Brodie Lee in CHIKARA? I have smashed everything in my sight for the last 3 years. Dasher Hatfield, Daisuke Sekimoto, Hallowicked and Claudio Castagnoli have pinned me in a CHIKARA ring. THAT’S IT.” Of course, he fails to mention his debut loss in ’07, deciding to only go back to 2008 for his little list. If Brodie is sleeping on Vin or just flat-out forgot the loss, he’s in for trouble. Gerard is as opportunistic as they come. With STIGMA potentially roaming ringside, Lee could easy fall to Gerard once again.

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UltraMantis Black, Hallowicked and Frightmare may be biting off more than they can chew. On Night 1 of this year’s King of Trios, they attempted to confront Delirious after Team Bruderschaft’s victory over Da Soul Touchaz. It resulted in a wild brawl that got The Spectral Envoy no closer to reclaiming Delirious. Two matches later, they were sent packing from the tournament. This shocked the entire crowd, many of whom had The Envoy as a potential favorite to win the entire tourney. With their sights still set on reclaiming the mind and soul of their fallen friend, a mortal enemy continues to stand in their path. “Fear me, Mantis,” Sinn Bodhi instructed Mantis on a blog in January, “not some Swiss aristocrat or Finnish Viking. Do you think you know darkness? Darkness is where I reside. I bend iron bars in my teeth, I drink boiling water with razorblades and I’m the only man alive – anywhere – that can perform the Human Dart Board both in my back and chest. I consort with the oddities of life, the freaks in this world. And maybe that’s what led you to me. But don’t imagine you can control my destiny.” It seems that, like then, Mantis still does not have the full attention of The Dark Army, not even after the savage, gory beating he received at Bodhi’s hands at Creatures from the Tar Swamp. For the first time, Sinn is stepping in with Obariyon & Kodama to battle The Envoy. Mantis & company must refocus on The Dark Army for the time being, or they’ll once again come up short at the hands of Kizarny and his minions.

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Like Lee versus Gerard, there is an interesting history between Eddie Kingston and Chuck Taylor. At Young Lions Cup IV, Taylor made his Chikara debut, defeating longtime rival Ricochet in the tourney. He was the first man out of the main event Eliminator but he would return almost three months later still seeking a roster spot. In his path: Eddie Kingston, who was embroiled in a feud with Larry Sweeney at that time. The very next night, King and Sweeney were to meet in their feud-ending Yellowbelly Strap Match. With Sweeney providing a distraction, Chuckie T grabbed Kingston’s tights and got himself a three count off the roll-up. For Eddie, it’s a distant footnote and forgotten loss that served as an unfortunate sacrifice during a separate war. For Chuck…it was the beginning of a singles run that still stands to this day. From November of 2006 to September 2007, Chuck Taylor (excluding that year’s Cibernetico) went 15-2-1 overall as the newest member of F.I.S.T. and eventual member of the Kings of Wrestling. He also went an astonishing 12-0 in matches where he fought by himself, claiming the Rey De Voladores and Young Lions Cup V tournaments along the way. The man who finally ended his prolific run? Claudio Castagnoli. As with many things in Chikara history, it starts and ends with Kingston and Castagnoli. Since their match almost five years ago, Chuck and Eddie have not, in any form, shared a Chikara ring. No tags, atomicos, battle royals. Nothing. As with Brodie on this same show, it seems I’m trying to warn Kingston not to take his opponent lightly due to a past, possibly forgotten defeat. Broken record much?

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When you’re the King of Trios, you’re expected to take on all challengers. After rolling through The Dark Army, The Bruderschaft, The Osirian Portal and F.I.S.T. to win wrestling’s the biggest tournament, Fire Ant, Soldier Ant & Green Ant faced and dispatched The Batiri in yet another six-man tag that main evented Chikara’s southern debut. Now, they are scheduled to take on yet another trio in a match that surprised a lot of people, myself included. The Colony tore through Trios without having to face ay outside opponents, a rarity in a tournament known for its worldly competitors. Well Amazing Red, Joel Maximo & Wil Maximo have stepped up to test the Ants in unfamiliar competition. Collectively known as The S.A.T., this trio of men was ousted in this year’s opening round of Trios by Manami Toyota, Mike Quackenbush and Jigsaw. While there doesn’t seem to be any underlying reason for S.A.T. taking on The Colony, you just never know with Chikara. No matter what, fans will no doubt be treated to a fast-paced, one-of-a-kind contest!

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Union City will witness a first time meeting between the boisterous ball hog and the bombastic band man! Sugar Dunkerton is known much more as a tag competitor than he is in singles matches. In fact, Sugar’s never won a one on one, losing to Brodie Lee and Christin Able in his only two solo matches. Archibald Peck, however, has operated exclusively as a singles fighter, though he is never too far from his girl Veronica. He lost in his debut against Eddie Kingston but bounced back with a victory over Colt Cabana at King of Trios 2011 (Night 2). Peck’s got Frightmare the night before, so Aniversario weekend is a huge opportunity to prove himself as a strong singles combatant.

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I had to look it up to make sure, but it is indeed the truth: Hieracon and Grizzly Redwood are the two shortest men on the Chikara roster. While they are small in stature, both have done incredible things in their Chikara careers. Grizzly made the roster after winning the Super Fun Times Battle Royal and holds several big singles wins over the likes of Create-A-Wrestler, Hydra and Dasher Hatfield. However, he has also lost to the likes of Steve Weiner, Hallowicked and, most recently, Daizee Haze. Hieracon, who joined the roster at the end of last year, will compete in his first Chikara singles match the night before against Grizzly’s large partner in The Roughnecks, Brodie Lee. There’s no telling what shape he’ll even be in after a run at the “Big Rig”. Still, he has but one loss in his time here and an 8-1 record overall. The Grizz may have the experience, but Hieracon has the support of Director Wink, his Osirian brothers and the fans.

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Unlike his partner Sugar, Dasher Hatfield has several big singles wins in his career. As Create-A-Wrestler, he lost on a regular basis. As Ultimo Breakfast and Moscow the Communist Bovine, he didn’t fare much better. As “The Old Timey King of Swing” however, he’s beaten the likes of Colin Delaney, Buck Hawke and Brodie Lee. He even earned a shot at the Young Lions Cup, though he ultimately fell short. Jakob Hammermeier will step up to the plate and battle Dasher one on…several. You see, fighting Hammermeier means that Tim Donst, Tursas, and many other BDK members won’t be far behind. Heck, Bruderschaft referee Derek Sabato will probably call the contest. If Hatfield wants the dubya, he’s gonna have to watch his back. With the Bruderschaft, you never know how they’ll screw you out of a win.

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There is no denying it anymore: King of Trios is the premier event in all of independent wrestling. After three incredible nights of action, Chikara Pro managed to release all three events in 24 hours! That’s right: they’re all available right now! If you missed the memo, this is your chance to catch up. HERE is the Chikara DVDs page at Smart Mark Video, where you can purchase all 3 amazing nights spoiler-free. It’s already the best-selling title in Smart Mark history and it only took FIVE DAYS! If you’ve been spoiled, then you know what you’re getting:  the grandest weekend of wrestling in years. If you don’t have the cash right now but you still wanna know what all the hubbub is about, check out our coverage of Night 1, Night 2 and Night 3!

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Please leave any comments or questions you might have and I’ll do my best to respond with as many hypnotic Japanese lullabies as I can conjure. I’d like to do a contest or something cool like that, but I’m not sure how much interest there’d be. Let your voice be heard! Also, let me know if there’s anything you’d like to see in the column, like fantasy booking, treasure hunts, wish-lists, secret handshakes, etc.

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