A show that’s neither wild or young!
-Amazing how such a great concept could become a show no one cares about. Taking eight guys and having them fight for a WWE contract should have been so easy. Unfortunately, the so-called challenges and lack of decent wrestling talent by many of the guys have led to these guys looking like complete geeks. The guy who clearly has the most talent, Daniel Bryan, has lost every match he’s participated in for whatever reason. David Otunga is only on this program wasting precious television time because his future wife is Jennifer Hudson. And then there’s the theme song.
-Seriously, “Wild and Young” has to be the worst song ever created by a human being. I’m convinced this lousy song has driven away thousands of viewers for being so annoying. No one in WWE has any musical taste. I’m the first to admit that I shouldn’t be picking the music, but I have the good sense to realize “Wild and Young” is a horrendous song.
-Finally, because of numerous issue with Jason Sterlacci’s cable, he’s unavailable to provide recaps for the time being. This is where I come in. To summarize the last two weeks, there have been challenges no one cares about and mean nothing while Chris Jericho and Christian showed themselves to be the best company men ever by doing jobs for Wade Barrett and Heath Slater. I’d wonder where their reward is, but I think we all know the only thing these two guys will get is a modicum of respect from the fans and the chance to do more jobs for slow lumbering “WWE superstars.”
-Open with the goddamn theme song. KILL IT!
-Live from the same place Smackdown is being taped
-Your host is the worst announcer of 2010 (Matt Stryker). Your announcers are a close second for worst announcer (Michael Cole) and a poor unfortunate soul (Josh Matthews).
-Matt Stryker is in the ring with all the NXT rookies, and he introduces each of them. None gets a particularly great reaction. Stryker mentions the Pro’s Poll coming up in two weeks and reminds them of a possible championship match. He brings up last week’s challenge. Apparently ten million people saw Skip Sheffield’s feature wwe.com. I call bullshit. Oh my God. Tonight’s challenge is all seven NXT rookies must go out and sell merchandise for 60 seconds to the crowd. What the hell is this, “Celebrity Apprentice?” Winner gets a match against a WWE pro of their choice. Skip Sheffield goes first, sells four programs, and makes 60 dollars. We get to follow this throughout the entire show. I’m thrilled.
-Christian and Heath Slater vs. Chris Jericho and Wade Barrett
Never realized until tonight how huge Slater really was. Jericho lost to Slater the previous week, and lowlights play of the finish. Jericho runs away from Slater and tags in Barrett. The faces work the arm until Barrett hits a boot on Christian. Heat segment on Christian. I love reviewing truncated television matches. Hot tag to Slater who hits a flying forearm and running forearm in the corner. Sloppy neckbreaker. Barrett breaks the count. Christian dives on top of Barrett on the outside. Jericho goes for the Walls of Jericho. Slater counters into a small package, the same way he won their singles match last week. Jericho hits a codebreaker and pins him clean.
-Winner (s)/Time/Rating: Chris Jericho/3:04/*
-Basic television match.
-Daniel Bryan gives away programs since he’s not a capitalist. He does it with the goofiest smile ever. I can’t see how Daniel Bryan could possibly care about this show. Cole calls Bryan a tool. Matthews calls Cole a TOOLBOX! That was the line of the night, maybe the week, maybe the year.
-Highlights of the triple threat match as Gallows tries to cost Darren Young the match. Young wins anyway.
-Carlito yells at Michael Tarver and tells him to carry his bags. If it weren’t for this show, I couldn’t imagine how Carlito remained employed after the recent cuts.
-Justin Gabriel unloads merchandise next, and he does quite well. I know WWE has five hours of television a week, but I could find a better way of using seven minutes. Easy way to sell programs if nothing else. 22 programs later, Gabriel is the leader. Cole and Matthews can’t do math. It’s 330 bucks made guys.
-Pros give their thoughts on Michael Tarver. Mixed bag of comments. Carlito is buried too in a hilarious bit.
-Michael Tarver (w/Carlito) vs. Darren Young (w/Luke Gallows and Serena)
Battle of two guys who won’t be long for this show. This should be fun. Gallows has a look of complete disgust on his face. Tarver dominates in front of a deathly silent crowd. I’m talking no heat whatsoever. Young’s comeback gets less reaction than my stomach after a 2:00 a.m. run to Taco Bell. They brawl on the outside. Tarver gains control but gets chop-blocked. Young drops him on a floatover and gets three
-Winner (s)/Time/Rating: Darren Young/2:46/*1/2
-Luke Gallows remains jealous of Young despite helping him to victory.
-Apparently, it’s only 210 bucks for Gabriel. David Otunga has a couple kids sell the programs for him. I go from watching amazing professional wrestling and trios action to watching guys selling programs. Otunga’s total will come later.
-Main event is announced 34 minutes in. Miz vs. Skip Sheffield.
-Raw rewind. What a lame draft overall. The Hart Dynasty winning the tag title was the best part of the show.
-Justin Gabriel video package. If Daniel Bryan wasn’t in the competition, I’d vote for Gabriel. Mostly positive things are said by the pros. We quickly move to Otunga ignoring R-Truth and losing to Gabriel. R-Truth talks to Otunga about the execution of a sunset flip. Otunga just wanted to cheat.
-315 dollars is the dollar amount to beat allegedly. I call bullshit on that. Gabriel clearly beat Otunga. Slater and Young fail. Tarver refuses to participate and shouts “I am the product.” Awesome. He’s the best promo on the show by far. Barrett is the last one and says he’s the number one rookie. He steals the money. I love how three of the eight guys basically made a complete mockery of the competition. How are we as fans supposed to take the challenges seriously when the rookies don’t?
-Daniel Bryan package. Everyone puts him over strong except Miz.
-Stryker announces Otunga as the winner. Lame. Otunga challenges R-Truth. What a horrible match that will be, and it’s all Otunga’s fault.
-Skip Sheffield (w/William Regal) vs. Daniel Bryan (w/The Miz)
Miz announces he’s too injured to compete and inserts Daniel Bryan into the match instead. Great, Daniel Bryan can job to yet another rookie less talented than him. Bryan gets a flurry of offense before quickly getting hit with a modified. acecrusher. Three count. Yawn.
-Winner (s)/Time/Rating: Skip Sheffield/1:11/DUD
Final Thoughts: This is an easy show to review and cover since the matches are so short, and I can edit during long commercial breaks. See everyone next week when Otunga takes on R-truth.
Every time I hear that song I see Heath Slater in my head. Every time I see Heath Slater I hear that song in my head. This is not a good thing for either one, they are both ungodly annoying, at least I can feel confident that the song will go away soon.
Every time I hear that song I see Heath Slater in my head. Every time I see Heath Slater I hear that song in my head. This is not a good thing for either one, they are both ungodly annoying, at least I can feel confident that the song will go away soon.